Sunday, May 16, 2010

Almost glad to see Monday

It was a beautiful day today but I didn't go to church.  I got to sleep about 4 a.m and woke up at 7:10 a.m. in pain.  I tried to just ignore it and go back to sleep but I ended up having to take a pain pill.  By that time I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep.  I did try to nap in the afternoon but only got minutes instead of hours so no real rest.

I made Zach go shopping with me today so I wouldn't have to interrupt the week ahead with errands.  I did pretty well money wise.  The cost was about half what it usually is and since I have stocked up so well, I shouldn't need to go back until next weekend.  I will have to make a library trip sometime this week, I'm sure but I don't need to swing by the store.  I can just go there and come straight home.

I have tons that I want to get accomplished this week, mostly yard work.  I desperately need to do some cleaning inside but I need to be outside more.  Besides, I can clean when it's dark or when it's nasty out so I'll put my priorities on what shows outside.

Now I just need to find the energy.  It's been years since my energy levels have been this low.  I think we were in San Diego the last time I felt like this.  And Tom was out to sea a lot during that time so it was totally miserable.  I had no one to help me as the people in our church at the time weren't overly interested in my life.  In fact I got the flu once and if it hadn't been for Stephen, I probably would have been much sicker.  He did the shopping and brought home stuff to eat because I couldn't stand up long enough to cook.  Zach was about 6 or so and not much help in the cooking department.  I was away from church for about 3 weeks and not one person even called to see how I was.  Now this was a time when I never missed a single Sunday at church so disappearing for a few weeks seemed to me to be a bit of a red flag.

It seems to me that my huge fatigue flare up was after that flu.  Hmmmmm....

Zach and I are taking a break from church for a while.  I'm so tired of stressing out on Saturday nights wondering if I'm able to get some sleep so I can go and if I have something special going on, like altar guild or he is reader or something, then we have to go whether I've had sleep or not.  I am just tired of having to face that every week.  I emailed the priest to tell her I was resigning from altar guild but I haven't heard back from her.  I'm supposed to have it next week so if my partner calls, I'll just have to tell her I've resigned.  I don't feel too badly about it since I did it all by myself for nearly 3 months because of things going on in her life.  Not that I begrudge her the need for it, but just that I have a need right now and I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

To be honest, though, there is more going on than just me not feeling well.  There are spiritual things going on, both with me and Zach, but I'm not going to go into it on this blog.  I talk about that elsewhere.

On a more positive note, I started knitting a shopping bag that I might put in my inventory to sell.  I designed the pattern myself although there are so many shopping bags out there that look nearly identical I'm not going to publish the pattern.  It's one of those things like a garter-stitch scarf.  I can't imagine anyone actually paying for a pattern like that but they are out there.

I'm nearly halfway done with the Helm's Deep shawl although I did modify it to use just the mountain-style pattern rather than the lattice that went with it.  I didn't care for the way it looked.  Once I get to the halfway point on any project I need to take a break from it though. 

I have some beautiful Caron Eco yarn that is a light brown but I'm not sure what I want to turn it into.  I was thinking of something in the way of a small throw with Celtic cables and such.  I know the pattern I would love to use but I don't want it as big as that.  Not to mention I don't have enough  yarn.  But since my yarn is a thinner gauge I think I might be able to adapt the pattern a bit.  I'll just have to print it out and study it a bit.

Of course, I couldn't sell the item but it would be good practice in designing something of my own that I could sell.  I've used to design most of what I crocheted but that's been years and knitting is so different from crocheting.  I've got books that will help and the library has even more.

I'm hoping to start setting aside a specific amount of time each day for working on crafts: educating myself, practicing, pushing my boundaries, etc.  I have so much housework to catch up on but I should still be able to set aside time for that.  I figure it will take me a couple of years before I have enough skills and inventory to set up shop.  But I can be very patient at times.

Well, my head is pounding so I'm off to take some ibuprofen (tylenol has a potentially bad interaction with my tramadol so I can't take it anymore.)  And then off to bed to watch tv and go to sleep.  I managed to get some spinning done this weekend, some knitting, laundry (hung out on the line) and some minor cleaning done, so it wasn't a total waste.

Plus Hellboy was on tv twice!  Not to mention Foyle's War.  It wasn't a bad tv weekend.


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