Tuesday, January 31, 2012

So much for my diabolical plan to combat the pain and fatigue

My clever plan didn't work at all.  I missed the threshold of pain and took the tramadol a bit late which left me tossing and turning in pain for another hour.  But then again, it's usually a few hours until I can get hold of the pain.  But...within a few hours the pain was back and I kept waking up every 20 minutes or so.  I just said the heck with it and got up around 8 a.m.

I tried to take a nap at noon but Tom woke me up to ask me a question and I never got back to sleep.

I asked him to call the garage earlier to see when the truck would be done so he could just drop me off there and I could wait for it, even if it took a couple of hours since it's a couple of miles from here and there are some wondrous hills to conquer with my dodgy hip, but he didn't call until right before he left for work so there was no time for them to get back with him.  They called an hour after he left and Zach and I walked it to pick up the truck.  It took a little over an hour, because I have a really bad hip and had to stop frequently.  Even sat down for a bit on a bench at the veteran's memorial...about the halfway point.

We went to town and got the cash he needs for his trip and then did a bit of shopping after stopping for a sandwich and a soda.  We took an hour to recover at the restaurant but my legs are still very wobbly.  Not to mention achy. I took some ibuprofen before we left, hoping that would dull the pain a bit.  If it helped, I would hate to feel what it was like without it because that was a lot of pain.  Still doesn't feel at all good.

So he's getting pizza tonight because I'm going to bed.  I got little sleep last night, he woke me up less than half an hour into my nap, and I've walked further than my arthritic hip is happy with.  I'm taking the two tramadol in just a few minutes and then crashing for the night.  No knitting.  No reading.  Just sleep.  I'll probably wake up around midnight.  Or 3 or so, when he gets home.  I'm too cranky to be conversation tonight and it's best if I just kept my opinions to myself lest I say something that would start an argument.  He's off tomorrow afternoon for ice fishing (good luck finding ice in this weather) but I'll be cooled off by the time I wake up.  I don't stay mad for long.  And I'm not really mad, just annoyed.

My wobbly legs are shaking and telling me they want to go to bed.  And I think right now, they're the boss of me.


Monday, January 30, 2012

Hoping that getting control of the pain will help get control of the fatigue

It was a lazy weekend for me.  The guys fixed supper last night and everyone fended for themselves on Saturday so you'd think I'd be ready to go, getting tons of things done today.  Nope.  I slept long last night but woke up several times.  Not in pain.  Just woke up.  So this afternoon I took a 2 hour nap.  And I'm still very tired.

Damned fatigue.

I've got supper in the crock pot though.  We haven't had a roast in ages so I bought one.  I can get two meals out of it but they're still expensive.  I've got potatoes in with it but I'll fix noodles for Zach since he can't stand potatoes.  And a veg of some kind.  Then I'm going back to bed, I think.

No word yet on the truck.  I hope they call tomorrow because Tom wants to leave on Wednesday afternoon for ice fishing.  I told them it wasn't urgent but that was before I realized this was the week he was going.  I'll call tomorrow afternoon if I don't hear anything.  Just to get an estimate on the time. 

I haven't done much knitting over the weekend.  In fact, not much at all over the past few weeks.  Again with the fatigue.  I hope as the sun shines more and temperatures rise I'll be able to get out more and maybe that will perk me up a bit.  Right now I feel like I could crawl into bed and sleep for a week.

Not that the dog would let me.

Hopefully once we're back to two vehicles and I can get my errands done, I'll find the motivation to do more. I must say, though, that taking two tramadol for the pain is working wonders.  I've had 3 nights in a row without being woke up due to the pain and when I do wake up, I'm able to get back to sleep with few problems.  Having lived with chronic pain for over 23 years, I can say it's nice to have those nights when I'm not writhing in the bed, waiting for the pain meds to kick in.  Chronic pain wears you out, causes depression, insomnia and many other debilitating things.  I'm sure three nights without pain isn't going to solve all my problems but it's a start.


Saturday, January 28, 2012

Paying the price

We are really grateful the rod broke in front of the house instead of on the way to work or me driving to the next town.  Having the steering go out at 55 mph is scary to think about. The estimate for the truck is around $1000, which considering how bad it could have been, is an acceptable price to pay.  Our garage people are the best.  I'm beginning to think we should have them on speed-dial, though.

Tom was going to give up his ice fishing trip but I talked him into going.  It's a set-back but last year something happened and he canceled his ice-fishing trip so I don't want him doing it again.  He really needs these trips because he works so hard.

Not keeping the car but we are going to be more vigilant about preventive maintenance and getting the cars into the shop at the first sign of trouble instead of waiting to see if he has a day off so he can work on it. 

Everyone is on their own for supper tonight as I'm taking the night off.  Sandwiches all around and I'm going to crawl into bed, knit, read or watch tv as the mood strikes me.


Friday, January 27, 2012

Another from the "we can't win" millstone

Tom left for work today and made it out of the driveway.  Just.  He came back in and asked me to call the tow truck because the truck threw a tire rod or something.  At any rate we had to maneuver it in front of the house because it was blocking the driveway and then he left for work in the minivan.  We just spent $900 on the truck in November.  I can't imagine this will be any cheaper.

I'm beginning to think we need to keep the car instead of selling it so we can have two vehicles running at all times.  We never have both vehicles up and running at the same time for long.  Ever.  If Zach had had a job in the past he would have lost it for sure on account of the number of times we've abruptly been down to one vehicle. Seriously.

So I'm waiting for the garage to call back and let me know just how expensive it's going to be this time.  Then I'm going to get a license for the car when I've got transportation and insure it and hope Tom will use it to drive back and forth to work in order to save on gas.  Because our auto gas bill is creeping up to around $350 a month.  And I only go to town a few times a week.  It's not like that's far away.

I've got medical appointments coming up so I need reliable transportation.  And Zach needs to either find a job or go back to school  In both cases we need reliable transportation.

I think I'm going to just go into my bedroom and cry for a bit.  We never get a chance to get ahead.  No idea what the truck will cost but we'll have to pay for Zach's ingrown toenail situation in full because of the deductible. 

Just wondering when we'll catch a break.

Oh, and the roof is leaking.


Thursday, January 26, 2012

I lied

I wanted to get Zach out of the house because he's been hiding in his room (not literally) for a while so I treated him to a dollar milkshake at Culver's.  I wasn't going to go out again but he needed a boost so we went.  But that's the only place we went; then we came home.

And good news!  The podiatrist is in our network and is only about 20 minutes away, including the time it takes to park and walk to the office.  He has an appointment in two weeks and then we will get him back on his feet.  He doesn't complain about the pain unless I ask but I know he's in a great deal of pain most of the time and has a hard time walking.  This will fix the problem, I hope.

I need to do laundry today.  I must do laundry today.  But just one load.  It's all I can manage on the steps.  I do have a load of white/light colored clothes in the dryer that I need to fluff up a bit.  So that will actually be two loads of laundry finished today.  It's not really cheating.

I took the two tramadols before bed last night and the pain didn't wake me up.  Much.  I did wake up a bit and change positions but went right back to sleep.  Most of the time I can't find another position that doesn't hurt as bad and end up waking up for an hour or so before I finally fall back asleep in exhaustion.  I hate the thought of taking 2 every night but I will for a few nights and then give it a rest.  I don't always have pain at night, but the nights I don't are rare.  Still, I'm always shooting for that rare night, which is why I don't take the pain pills until the pain is making its presence known.

I knitted on the socks for a bit, then on the dvd case.  I should work on Zach's sweater but I'm at the neck and hate the whole dividing thing.  Once I've started it, I'm fine, but I'm just not fond of setting it all up.  But tonight I should push myself to do it.  After laundry.  And supper.

It was warmer today, enough that the sidewalks are clear and the driveway is getting clear.  But when the temps go down tonight the driveway will be a bit slick in spots.  Putting out salt right now seems pointless but I might send Zach out later, after it cools off some.

I guess I should tackle that load of laundry.  Hauling it all downstairs isn't fun.  How I wish I had everything on one floor.  Oh, well...I must do what I can with what I have.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Don't make me leave home for a while

I am not leaving the house for a few days no matter what.  Okay if Zach has a dr appointment I will but other than that...no.  I got a call last night to change my next week appointment to today so I went with it just to get it over with.  It was snowing like crazy when I woke up, which made me nervous but it stopped and cleared up before I had to leave and the roads were very nice so it was no big deal.

Except it was a late appointment and by the time I got to StuffMart in the next town to us (my appointment was up in Fond du Lac) it was late and I was hungry.  So I stopped and grabbed a bite to eat while reading Triumph of the Moon by Professor Ronald Hill and then went to StuffMart to get my prescriptions.  In a very cleverly disguised plan to get me to spend more money, they told me my prescription wasn't ready yet and to come back in 15 minutes.  Several dollars later, I went back only to be told that it would be just a few more minutes.  Still more dollars later, I came back in another ten minutes to hear that it still wasn't ready and to wait a few more minutes.  I was tired of spending money so I went to the bathroom and then wandered back.  Still not ready.  But they got it ready while I waited.  I'm not upset because I hadn't really counted on that particular prescription but had come for 2 others that were ready.  I just didn't want to come back any time soon so I waited for the one my dr had just called in.

So I stopped at Subway, which is located in StuffMart, and got some sandwiches for the guys and came home.  The dog was happy to see me only because he wanted to go out so I let him out and sat down.  Only to get back up immediately because he was having a conversation with Tank next door as only a Chihuahua and Rottweiler can.  Each one insisting on getting the last word.  Then my mother called so I talked to her for a while.  It was a fun conversation so I really enjoyed it.  But I really wanted to finish up my online stuff and go to bed.  Which I'm working on now.

For some reason the cat has decided to wake me up several times a night by sitting on my chest and putting his nose in front of my face, tickling me with his whiskers.  When I turn my face away, he moves his in the same direction.  I move the other way; he does, too.  As Bob is my witness, I didn't know cats couldn't fly.

No, I didn't.  But I did think about it.

So lack of sleep has hounded me all week because of appointments and cats.  And the dog, because he prefers to potty outdoors instead of his papers, which is good.  Except he wants out 3 or 4 times a night.  Except when it's snowing.  Then he miraculously manages to hold it all night long.

Zach and I watched Despicable Me.  I'd seen it before but he hadn't.  He's so much fun to watch movies with because he has the best laugh.  And he laughed all the way through it.  But I didn't get much knitting done.  A few rows on the bamboo patterned sock but that was it.

Tonight...not so much either.  I'm going to crawl into bed, turn the lights out and watch something that doesn't require any thinking.  If I fall asleep, I fall asleep.  If I don't...well, I will eventually.

Oh, and the dr told me I'm waiting too long to start my meds when the pains starts up and that's why it's not working as well.  She also said if the sciatica comes back of the pain is excruciating (never happens with the fibromyalgia, but with the sciatica...you betcha) I can take up to 8 a day without harm.  Just not for many days in a row.  That was good to know because one pill every 4 hours wasn't even touching the pain from the sciatica.

Now...finish up the internet and go to bed!


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

So much accomplished

I am seriously going to bed before 7 p.m. Thanks to Hannibal I got next to no sleep because he kept waking me up...deliberately.  Four times he did that.  Got right in my face and woke me up.  Then ignored me once I was awake.

But Zach survived his dr appointment and even managed to remain conscious while having his blood drawn.  Fortunately he got the phlebotomist who usually draws blood from my crappy veins and is a wonder at it. He hardly felt any pain at all.  She didn't put him on anti-depressants though.  Instead she referred him to a psychiatrist.  I would love for Zach to get better but we flat out can't afford to see a psychiatrist on a regular basis, plus afford the anti-depressants.  I don't know why she did it that way when all she ever does with me is offer me the meds.

So we are going to try a strict regimen of diet and exercise and if he's not showing some minimal improvement in a month, we'll find the money somehow.  But I just don't know where it's going to come from.  We wouldn't have a co-pay; we'd have to pay most of the bill on our own.

And...he's got to find a podiatrist because he's got two ingrown toenails that need to be operated on.  There are no podiatrists in our network so we'll be paying the out-of-network fees of nearly 50%.  What good is insurance if you can't afford to use it?  This one we'll have to bite the bullet on because he is in a lot of pain and can't walk for long periods of time.  I'll pick the one in the next town instead of driving up to Fond du Lac though.  Why are the podiatrists, all of them, out of the networks?  WTF??

I had tons of errands today besides the dr appointment but we got the taxes paid, the pets licensed, the water bill and Culligan bill paid and the car gassed up.  Plus I picked up some stuff to help us with our diet and exercise.  I'm going to count calories because that's the only way I know of to lose weight.  It's the keeping it off part that I suck at.  But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

So...Tom is getting pizza tonight.  I'm going to stick it in the oven now and he can heat it up when he gets home.  Me, I'm going to bed.  And probably to sleep.  If I wake up at midnight, so be it.  I've been fighting this all day and I'm worn out from it.


Monday, January 23, 2012

I really, really am not a morning person

Depression day again today so I haven't gotten much of anything done.  Supper and some dishes washed and that's it.  I have to hit the shower in a bit because Zach's physical is tomorrow morning.  He's so anxious about it.  Notwithstanding his fear of needles (OCD fear, not rational fear) he's anxious about what all the doctor will actually touch and what she will say to him.  He's not comfortable being touched (more OCD) and he already knows he's overweight.  I assured him the dr won't nag him about that but the big thing is, she'll take his depression seriously.  And since she's been his dr since he was 9, she knows all about the Tourette's and OCD.  So she won't treat those as non-issues, either.

Me, I'm anxious, too, but not for anything the doctor will say or do.  I'm just friggin' allergic to 8 a.m.   If I have to get up early, I don't sleep at all the night before because I'm too busy counting the hours of sleep I'm not getting.  I've tried everything except the little blue sleeping pill to get to sleep but nothing works.  And taking the little blue sleeping pill gives me a sleeping pill hangover that is worse than not getting any sleep.  So I've resigned myself to not getting much sleep and taking a nap before we head out for errands.

I got some knitting done last night but not when I first slid under the covers to watch tv.  I was achy and tired so I just turned the lights out and watched tv waiting for the tramadol to kick in.  Tom watched part of The A-Team with me (the movie) then went to bed.  I dozed off during Knit and Crochet Today but woke up before it was over so I could rewind it and watch the whole thing.  Then I couldn't get back to sleep so, after tossing and turning, I just turned the light back on and picked up the sweater.  Unfortunately I chose to watch A Clockwork Orange while knitting and couldn't stop until I saw the whole movie.  It was nearly daylight before I finally got to sleep.  It was an incredible movie.  I'm not a fan of Stanley Kubrick at all but I did love this.  Although it was very disturbing.  But what's not to like about a young Malcolm McDowell.  The acting was extraordinary.

And I can't get it out of my head.  I should watch something light tonight and just not plan on knitting so I can maybe get to sleep before the sun comes up.  I hope so anyway.

The weather wasn't too bad today and I possibly could have driven up north to my dr appointment but our road was a bit slick from frozen slush so I'm guessing the side roads in Fond du Lac were the same.  They're saving money by not plowing as often or salting as often so our road has stayed pretty slick so far. 

Since supper is over and most of the dishes are done up, I'm going to hop in the shower and go to bed now, while I'm so tired.  Even if I don't sleep all the way through, at least I'll have gotten some sleep.

Damned insomnia!


Sunday, January 22, 2012

I know you don't have to shovel freezing rain, but...still not a fan

The guy never showed up to look at the car but I wasn't surprised at all.  I knew the price was too high for what he wanted to do but as we haven't advertised the car yet, I'm also not disappointed at all.  We did waste time waiting for him to not show up but made it to the store anyway.

Unfortunately the freezing rain had started by the time we headed home.  It was more of a mist, really, but the roads were slick so we bought extra sidewalk salt and put a layer down when we got home.  Hopefully the salt trucks will go through and the main thoroughfares will be a bit drier.

I bought some yoga stuff today to help us on our journey toward health.  I thought it might help with the stress levels and help deal with this depression that I can't take anything for.  I only have room in any one room in the house for one person at a time to use the dvd and mat but that's okay, too.  We'll work around that.  It's a tiny house, I keep telling y'all.

I've also decided not to focus on a gimmick but just cook well and eat less and see if that helps at all.  I'm not sure what to do about the emotional eating but at least I can take care of the day-to-day stuff first.  Hopefully Zach will start on anti-depressants after his physical on Tuesday and that will be one of us getting help for our depression.  It is much harder to deal with mine when I have to deal with his, too.

I haven't knitted much this week but I do plan on crawling into bed in a little bit.  And I'm taking my knitting with me.  Tom is fixing supper tonight so I don't have to cook.  Just crawl into bed.  And tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere because we got groceries tonight.  And I can pay the bills on Tuesday after Zach's appointment since we'll probably have to go get a prescription for him anyway.

But I plan on staying home more, getting more done here and focusing more on getting healthy. 

Depression really, really sucks because it puts up those barriers that keep out the mechanisms you might find to help you get healthy.  It's so hard to work around that.  But I just have to keep trying.  Even if this doesn't work either.  I've got to keep trying.


Friday, January 20, 2012

Braved the elements

I was a bit uneasy about venturing out today to the DMV but the minivan drives beautifully on snow and we were careful to take only main thoroughfares that were already plowed.  Aside from our street, of course.  I thought it would be a bit dicey getting out on the highway from our street but we made it with minimal slippage.

The whole title clearing took about 5 minutes and cost $10 for both vehicles.  What a relief.  So we have the titles and they're ours.

We did stop off at McSnacky's because I was suffering from stress overload.  The anticipation far exceeded the actual events, but the stress was there anyway.  Just a soda and a snack and we sat there figuring up a game plan for getting our lives back healthwise.  I'm not going to divulge anything yet because I want to see if it will work first.  Then after a while, if it's working, I'll talk more about it.

I did reschedule my dr appointment on Monday because we're expecting more snow and I don't want to drive all the way to Fond du Lac in snow if I don't have to.  And I don't have to.  My new appointment is in two weeks.  I hope the weather is better then.

I turned the heat on in Tom's bedroom last night.  We don't have heat upstairs...or at least in the bedroom.  The outer area has a vent but hardly anything comes up through it so it's closed off.  He has an oil-filled radiator that works wonderfully but he won't use it because he's a tough guy.  But last night the temps were below zero without including the wind chill so I warmed his room up for him.  There's no time to do that once he's home.  I might do it again tonight since it never got above 5F today.  I've got the space heater in the foyer again because the whole bottom of the door and the lower hinges are white with frost.  The storm door doesn't do anything because it's warped (thanks to a paper carrier who didn't latch the door in a wind storm and it blew open and took a chunk of the door frame with it.)  This summer we will replace both but we don't want to do it now because it would require having the door wide open for a period of time in order to install it and drill new holes for the storm door since there is nothing but wood putty for this door.

A guy is coming to look at the car on Sunday but as his business is to fix up cars and sell them, I'm afraid he might try to low-ball us on the car.  Fortunately we don't have to sell it right now so we don't have to take a low offer.  The car is worth every bit of $800 although I am willing to negotiate a bit.  But not a lot.  We just spent over $400 getting the linkage fixed before we beached it.

I didn't knit last night.  I crawled into bed and turned the light off, dozed a bit and then woke up off and on until Tom got home. After that I was awake for a few hours.  But aside from many interruptions from a cat who shall remain nameless but who kept touching my face every other second all night long, I slept pretty well.  Except when I got a phone call from the 85th final call about wanting to offer me a lower rate on my credit card.  And we're on a no-call list, too.  Not that it seems to matter to them.

I should get off and start supper.  I really wish I had my own cook so I didn't have to.  Not my favorite thing in the universe.

I do like eating though.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Staying home and trying to stay warm.

I would like to say that out of solidarity for those who are opposing SOPA I didn't blog yesterday but the truth is that I was just too tired after errands.  I get tired anyway but during a fatigue cycle, it's like trying to wade through mud all the time.

We did get some errands done but it was windy and cold so I limited those errands.  I'll do the banking next week when it's warmer.  Plus I have 2 doctor appointments:  one for me and one for Zach.  It will be a busy week.  I was amazed at the library to see the kids walking out without wearing their coats.  It wasn't even that warm in the library for these kids to be wearing thin, short-sleeved, low cut shirts.  Let alone walking outdoors in nothing but.  Sheesh.

When we got home yesterday we found a sticky note on the door.  Since those are rarely good news it was with great trepidation that I made for the front door, lugging groceries.  To my surprise it was a note from someone interested in buying the Concorde, which is presently under about a foot of snow (driveway is a wind tunnel so we get more snow there).  Zach has been starting it but beyond that we've done nothing this winter.  Tom called him this morning and the guy fixes up old cars and sells them.  I doubt he will want to pay what we want for it but as we're not desperate to sell it, we'll hold firm to our bottom dollar.  Still, it was nice to have that come out of nowhere.

I need to go to the DMV, though, to clear the title.  I went twice before but forgot the title both times and have forgotten to go back ever since.  I'll take care of the truck when I go tomorrow.  Because it's too frelling cold to go today.  The wind chills are even colder today and the sun shining doesn't help.

I was making good progress on Zach's sweater front when the cat jumped in my lap, snagged his claw on the sweater and pulled it.  Hard.  The result was a huge snag that I couldn't fix.  All I could do was rip back about 5 inches.  I've made it back to the armholes and an inch or so above.  I didn't yell at him or do anything physical.  It's not like he did it on purpose.

So I didn't get any other knitting done because I was trying to get back to where I left off on the sweater.  I didn't make it but I was sleepy so I just went to bed.  Fortunately I fell asleep immediately and the two interruptions to my night were brief and didn't wake me up much.  Professor crawls under the covers after the lights go off but usually waits until I'm asleep, which means I have to wake up to lift the covers.  The other time was pain but I was so sleepy I just turned over and went back to sleep.  I can't normally do that but last night it worked.

I watched The A-Team last night.  The new version.  I loved it! I love Sharlto Copley anyway, from District 9.  He was great as Murdoch.  All over great casting.  I've tried watching Priest several times and get further in each time but just can't seem to finish it.  I love Paul Bettany in just about anything he does but so far I haven't loved this movie.  Maybe some day the mood will suit me and I'll watch it and love it, too.  Mostly I watched Babylon-5 episodes.  Tom and Zach got me the entire series for Christmas and I'm taking my time watching them.

I turned the heat up a bit today since it's so cold but I'm still pretty chilled.  I drank some hot tea hoping that would help but it didn't.  Next I'll drink some hot cocoa.  That usually does the trick.  If not, I'm going to take a hot shower.  I do need to put a load of clothes in the dryer.  Maybe that moist heat will help.  It's just so cold outside.

So I should do that:  put the clothes in the dryer.  And maybe get up and get some things done.  I did lay some hamburger out for supper so we can have impossible pie tonight.  Or maybe pizza casserole.  Either one works.  As long as I get busy and get it done.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Starting to look like a winter wonderland

It snowed again this morning.  I went to let Professor out at around 8 a.m. and it was snowing.  Enough that he wouldn't get off the porch, although we only ended up with about 2 more inches.  Except where it drifted across the sidewalk.  There we had about 8 inches of snow to shovel.  What fun.

Fortunately our good neighbor got the driveway apron again.  I'm going to get him and his wife a gift card for a restaurant around here.  They do this every year.  We used to be able to get out there and get it done first but then he told us to stop so we did.  One year the snow plow had gone through and he was at work and no way could he get into the driveway with a 4 foot wall of snow (this was the year of 108 inches of snow) so we headed out there as soon as the snow plow went past and shoveled him a path first.  Still, we get more than we've given.

We got the sidewalks and the driveway done and the truck is out on the street so we can swap vehicles tomorrow.  Plus I had to move the truck out of the way so Zach could get the garbage bin out.  Narrow driveway.

I worked quite a bit on Zach's sweater last night, making progress on the armhole.  I've knitted about 5 inches up.  Another couple of inches to go before I start the neckline.  Then I worked a pattern section on the bamboo patterned socks and a pattern section on the dvd bag. I felt pretty productive yesterday.  Today I'm doing more laundry.  I have another load to finish for sure because I'm out of wrappings for my lymphedema.  Plus I had to wash the curtains separating the bedroom.  Something got spilled on them.  Tom thought Professor peed on them, but it doesn't smell and it's not looking dry so I'm thinking something oily.  I have no idea what it is but it looks terrible.  Not sure it will come out at all.  Tomorrow I'll get the other curtains but I didn't want to do it all today.

Not sure about supper tonight.  I don't have anything laid out but the fish will thaw very quickly so I think it will be fish tonight.  Baked, not poached this time.  With rosemary and butter.  And mashed potatoes (Zach can have fries) because I really want mashed potatoes tonight.  Then more laundry and more knitting on the sweater.  I might get the front done tonight if I get to it quick enough.

Tomorrow I have to transfer money to checking to pay the property taxes.  I won't take care of that until next week but Monday and Tuesday are for dr appointments so I won't have the energy to tackle errands those days.  January is bleeding me dry financially.

Off to take care of laundry and start supper.


Monday, January 16, 2012

Stay at home Monday

The weekend was a blur with the attempt at cleaning before company came on Sunday.  I thought I had done okay, considering I'm in a really bad fatigue period right now, only to wake up on Sunday, open up the curtains and blinds and discover dust everywhere.  Too bad.  It was, for the most part, clean.

I had thought about turning my bedroom back into a living room but that would have involved rearranging the dining room, too.  Because I would have to remove some of the furniture in the "bedroom" to make enough room to turn it into a living room.  You wouldn't think it would work out that way, but it does.  In the end, after some exhausted tears, I told Tom I just couldn't do it and he was okay with that.

We had a good time, although I am still very anxious about people inside my safe places.  But we had laughs and fun and stuffed ourselves on summer sausage, braunschweiger, cheese and crackers.  I'm not a big cook anymore and this was less stressful than trying to put on a cooked spread.

My knitting has suffered lately.  I just don't have the energy for much.  I did manage to complete about 12 rows on Zach's sweater.  I'm 4 rows from starting the armhole shaping on the front.  I will get back to it today.  I'm also still working on the dvd bag and the bamboo-patterned socks.  What I really feel like right now is a nap, though.  Still not sleeping well.

I'm doing laundry today, which seems odd since Mondays have always been errand days.  I'm trying to shift it all so I don't run to town because I'm used to running to town.  Next Monday I have a dr appointment in Fond du Lac and Zach's physical on Tuesday in the next town.  It will be a hectic week for me, starting out that busy.

But for now, I'm enjoying a clean house and will shut down here in a few and work on the sweater for a bit before starting supper.  Something to do with chicken breasts since nothing else is thawed out.  We enjoyed some sunshine for a while with warmer temps.  Enough to melt some of the snow on the sidewalk, but it will freeze again tonight and more snow is on the way on Wednesday.  Still, not a bad winter so far.


Friday, January 13, 2012

Not loving the snow in spite of having good neighbors.

Bless our neighbors.  Someone, and I suspect it was two different someones, cleared both the driveway apron and our public sidewalk.  So we didn't have to get up early and dig the Town and Country out so Tom could get to work.  We did go out as soon as he left and cleared the rest of the driveway though.  He's going to be taking the minivan instead of the truck for a while, I guess, but I did tell him that I wanted the car when I had errands and such because the truck is crap to drive.  At least I think it is.  It bounces me all over the place.  Plus I have no place to put our shopping unless it's in the back.  Which means I can only shop at one place because I can't leave the stuff in the back of the truck when I'm at another place.

I want him to put the cover back on so no one steals the bags of salt we've got back there providing weight on the axle.  We were lucky no one stole it today but water softener salt is in high demand here.  Nearly everyone has a water softening system because of the extremely hard water here.

Tomorrow will be a cleaning day in case we have company on Sunday.  I'm not scrubbing the house down, but I do want it presentable.  Not that it's not presentable now, but more presentable.

I really need to get back to knitting.  Since I slept quite a bit last night, if not uninterrupted because a certain dog wanted to go out four times last night only to refuse to get off the porch and came right back in, I am feeling a bit more rested today.  But errands wear me out and I still have supper and laundry to do yet.

Which I should get to right away before I completely lose interest.



Thursday, January 12, 2012

Why, yes...there are 24 hours in a day

Ask me how I know.  No sleep last night.  None.  Nada.  The few times I did drift off, the pain woke me up within a few minutes or the pets needed out for a wee. Professor went out 4 times last night, anticipating the snow storm, I'm guessing.  At any rate, he's sleeping on the bed and I'm still awake.  I might crash here in a bit but I think I'll cook up supper first and leave it in the oven for Zach to turn on.  Pizza Casserole sounds good.

The pain was bad again last night, maybe from the storm front moving in.  Pressure changes do affect me that way.  I did some knitting on the sock yarn sock.  I decided to do a bamboo pattern as it's easy to memorize and easy to see in my dark bedroom.  And I didn't get to the sweater at all because I was really tired.  Not sleepy, but tired.

Probably won't knit tonight though because we'll have to go out and shovel the driveway out so Tom can get the minivan back in.  I didn't want him to take the truck today because the roads aren't clear yet and the truck is absolute crap on the snow.I barely got the truck back in the driveway when we swapped the cars out and it's still snowing steadily.  We've already got about 3 inches but the driveway has about 5 due to the wind blowing it into the driveway like a wind tunnel.  I'll have to get a nap in before we got out at about midnight to shovel.  Maybe my neighbor with the snow blower will get the apron of the driveway at least.  I don't know, though.  He's peeved at us because of the pile of branches and pallets back in our thicket.  It's practically hidden from view but you know how neighbors can be.  He intimated to Tom last summer that he should clean it up.  Which Tom then told me to have Zach take care of.  Not having any place to put the wood aside from in our garden, out of sight of the neighbor's watchful eye, I decided the wood was fine where it was.  It's behind the apple tree and several bushes for pete's sake.  He really has to look hard to see it.

So I guess we'll be doing all the shoveling by ourselves.  The neighbor to the right is a young guy who barely shovels his own sidewalk so we can't expect that kind of neighborly trade off we enjoy with the other neighbors.  Tom made Zach shovel his sidewalk a couple of times last year but he didn't return the favor.  In fact, I can't seem to educate him on the propery line and he insists on mowing and shoveling well into our yarn, but as the property line is on an angle, we end up having to mow his yard in the back.

Next time we move, I want an apartment so I don't have to deal with yard work anymore.  If I want nature, I'll go for a walk or a hike.  All things considered we get less yard if we go by his reckoning.  I don't know why the realtor didn't tell him what his property line was.  You can see it on the town platt that the line is angled.

Yes, I'm cranky when I don't get any sleep.

I gave up on the front door.  The heater helps to a point and no further.  I can't afford to run that heater around the clock so I just opened up the curtains and am using the house temp instead.  I figure the air pouring in around the door won't cost us as much as running that space heater will.  We've been bombarded with all kinds of extra expenses this month that will dip into our minute surplus and I don't know if next month will be any better since Tom is going up north again for ice fishing.   Zach continues to put in applications.  He's put the library on hold because he heard that they don't give out references.  Nothing definite but a librarian from another state told him they don't do that in order to avoid tarnishing their reputations as city workers or something like that.  No sense spending the money to take him to volunteer if there is no return.  I know that sounds awful but it's hard to get a job without references and he needs a job.  We even briefly thought about going back to church to make those connections but just couldn't do it.  It seemed wrong.

Well, I think I will go fix supper and then crash for an hour or so.  I still have to clean house for my sister-in-law's visit.  Tom will want the house really clean but he won't get it spotless.  I'm just too tired and the house is too small to have a place to put everything.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Winter is coming at last.

Another sunshiny, unseasonably warm day.  Temps reached 52F I think.  We dug out the snow shovels and got bags of salt for the back of Tom's truck for ballast (the truck is crap on snow and ice) and enough groceries so I don't have to go back for a week.  I hope.  Winter storm watch goes into effect around midnight, I think.

Also, good news on the front door.  It had gotten to the point where we couldn't shut it very well and opening it was a huge struggle so I put the heater back in the foyer, only on medium high this time and the door is nearly back to normal now.  I don't have to struggle to open it although it's still a bit of effort to shut it.  I figure another day or so and it will be fixed.

Still not sleeping.  Or I'm sleeping but just not enough.  As a result I'm in a bad fatigue cycle and my sister in law is coming to visit on Sunday.  I'll do what I can tomorrow and Saturday but I'm not going all out like I did when my brother in law came up and stopped in.  Tom had thought he would visit for a while, but he only stopped in for about 10 minutes and then left.  I had pushed myself beyond my capabilities and ended up in bed for the next few days.  I won't do that again.  I'll make it presentable but it won't be spotless.

I think Tom's just going to have pot pie tonight for supper because the shopping and errands wore me out (although we finally found a place to sign the recall petitions...YAY!!!)  Fatigue cycles, pain and errands are a bad mix.  So I think I'll just go to bed and do the kitchen tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll get sleep tonight.  I woke up again last night in pain and took an hour or so to get back to sleep.  Once Tom is up and I hear him, I can't get back to sleep so I just get up.  If I'm lucky, I don't hear him and can sleep until noon.

But, I probably will knit a bit tonight.  I broke down and bought Zach a couple of sweaters on sale so when he goes out putting in applications next week, he'll look better.  But I must get back to work on his sweater.  He should wear it this year and not next.

So, I'm off to bed....


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Felt like spring

We worked outside today because it was so warm.  I tried to cut down all the tobacco plants to throw away but discovered that my shoe was nearly immersed in the mud that was the garden.  I'll have to wait until it snows a bit before I can get the rest of them.  But we did get the Concorde started and let it run for a bit.  Even though we're not driving it, we need to make sure it's still drivable in case we get the opportunity to sell it.  Then we got the trash taken out and threw the old microwave into the bin as well, since we were both out there.  I might get a load of laundry started tonight as well so I can start the dryer when I first wake up.  Otherwise I have to wait until Tom has his shower before I can start the washer.

Baked chicken, mashed potatoes and corn tonight for supper.  If the darned chicken will ever cook.  It's been in the toaster oven for about 2 hours now.  The toaster oven doesn't cook as hot as the regular oven does but I thought I could save a few pennies by using it instead of heating up the whole oven for a bitty chicken.  Not sure it's working out that way.

I haven't gotten back to the sweaters yet.  Last night was a sleepy night and I didn't get a lot of knitting done at all.  I did look at the pattern I plan on using for the sock yarn though.  Other than that, I just read a bit, then watched tv and fell sleep while doing that.  And I still didn't want to wake up this morning.  In fact, I didn't get up until noon.  Trying to catch up on the sleep I lost when I was in so much pain.

We're expecting a couple of inches of snow in the next day or two.  I'm not terribly unhappy about it since we're already into the second week of January.  As long as the weather doesn't play catch-up and we get a bazillion inches before spring. 

Tomorrow I have errands to run and the house to clean.  My sister-in-law is coming over on Sunday and the house really needs a cleaning.  I don't know what to do about the mildew on the bathroom walls.  I haven't gotten to it yet because of the pain and stretching to reach up and scrub it off is painful.  Plus, working with bleach makes me cough and sneeze a lot.  We have had this problem since we moved in.  We use the fan while showering but it doesn't stop the problem.  Even in the summer with the window open the whole time, we still accumulate mildew all over the walls.  We're going to re-do the bathroom this spring so I plan on looking for some mildew resistant primer my mother told me about.  Hope that does the trick.

He wants to renovate it now but it's too cold to paint and putting up the wainscoting before we paint isn't recommended.  But we must get it done this spring.  It's too humid in the summer, even up here.

Smells like the chicken is done and I'm hungry so....


Monday, January 9, 2012

Sunny days

I took some pictures today but they're on my other blog.  I need to practice more.  I'm a bit shaky.  I'll try to get some pictures of some projects this week some time.  I do miss doing that.

I'm going through a bad fatigue cycle now that the pain is under control.  I never seem to be free of one or the other.  I'm trying to keep up with the house but I'm not making any headway beyond that.  Still, I'm knitting more than I usually do during these cycles.  I organized the sweater bag, which was terribly tangled up.  The yarn is now in freezer bags to prevent more tangling.  I hope to get back to knitting on the sweaters very soon.  I'm knitting up a bag for Zach's portable dvd player.  He takes it with us on errands but for now is using a huge shopping bag I knitted and it's way too big for it.  So I'm knitting one that is smaller and easier to manage.  Then I'm going to knit a pair of socks with the sock yarn.  I found a pattern in a book I got from the library that I plan on using.

It's been really nice the past few days:  temps in the 40s and sunshine.  Professor was out back this afternoon playing in the yarn.  Till he got tangled in my solar lights.  I just wish I had the energy to enjoy it out there.  I need to refill the bird feeder tomorrow.  Tonight I plan on vacuuming and just general straightening up.  Not sure what to do for supper but I need to do it soon.

Well, I must go dig around in the freezer and the pantry and come up with something.  Then, an early night.  I need to catch up on all that sleep I lost when the pain was bad.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Back to my old sleep patterns

I slept very late today, well after noon because I didn't even get to sleep until after 7 a.m.  Damned pain.  Once I got it under control I was awake and getting to sleep took some effort.  Well, staying asleep took some effort.  I would doze off and then snap awake as if I had been startled or something.  Anyway, I did errands today but Zach is going to fix supper and I'm going to bed early.

I finished up the socks last night.  I have no more worsted yarn for socks this year but I still have some sock yarn to work with.  I just need a pattern I love.  I got a book of sock patterns from the library today and my Creative Knitting mag was in the mail box when I got home.  Surely there is one pattern in all of my stash and library books that I will fall in love with.

But...Zach's sweater will be the next project.  And after that, my sweater.  Then, who knows?  I don't plan that far in advance.

I do hope to start taking pictures of my projects, too.  I still haven't learned how to operate my camera but this weekend I'll grab Zach and get a tutorial on it so I can post pictures both here an on my spiritual blog.  I miss doing that.

I didn't quite read a book a week last year.  Well, I think I did but I didn't count books I had already read so the books I read in January and re-read in November and all the books in between actually do add up to more than 52 books.  But I think this year I'll just keep track offline and maybe talk about the books I've read if they're interesting.  I did just finish a biography of Cicero, who has always fascinated me.  But the only book I had read about him took a lot of liberties with his philosophies and had him a Christian long before Jesus was even born.  Since reading more accurate books about him, I've come to the conclusion that I don't really like him much, but he still is a fascinating person of history.  Sort of like Eva Peron.  Fascinating, but maybe not the heroic figure some think she was.  And Dian Fossey.  You don't have to like someone to be intrigued by them.

I've got the heater back in the foyer because I seem to be the only person shutting the door these days.  Zach can't and Tom doesn't shut it all the way because it's so hard to shut.  It wouldn't be so bad if they would shut the curtains to the foyer, but they don't do that either.  So I'm following everyone around, shutting doors and closing curtains.  We'll have to get a new set of doors this summer.  No way we can go through another winter like this again.  The inside door has been shaved or something so there is a half inch gap on the right top of the door and the wind just blows in from there.  Yet on the left side, it's a snug fit.  And the gap where the latch is, funnels cold air in like a fan.  Got the utility bill today and it's a bit high for what we're used to this time of year, but still way below what most people pay.  It was around $126 for gas and electric.

Well, I'm off to bed to read and then watch some tv and maybe knit a bit.  I dare not go to sleep now because I'll be wide awake at midnight and won't fall back asleep until 9 a.m.  Not good at all.


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The after-holiday crash

As usual, I make it through the stressful times and then fall apart.  Consider me in pieces right now. I am doing much better than I normally do after a holiday period but the fatigue is incredible and I spent a day in pain yesterday.  Although I did manage to get all my work done so Tom will have socks and underwear to wear to work.  But today I had errands and could barely make it through.  It's pizza again tonight because I'm going to crawl into bed here shortly.

I didn't even knit last night because I was too tired.  In fact I fell asleep at 8:30 but woke up around 10 p.m. and couldn't get back to sleep until around 3 a.m.  I don't think I'll knit tonight either because I'm still a bit achy.  I touched my chin earlier and it felt hot but I don't think I'll take my temp as I tend to feel worse if I know my temp is up.  I'll just take some ibuprofen and tramadol and go to bed.

Hannibal is doing fine.  He was acting cheerier yesterday and by this morning his chin was back to normal size so we didn't need the vet this time.  His stomach has settled down, too. 

I'm going to dig Zach's sweater out tomorrow and get back to working on it so I can finish it.  He really wants to wear it this winter.  And I'm close to being done.  I only need to do the sleeves, which are relatively easy.  Then I want to get to work on my sweater.  I'm getting tired of the small stuff.  Although I found these patterns on Ravelry and am debating buying it.  I normally don't, but these patterns are too good to pass up.  I mean, can I really not buy the Fellowship of the Socks?

Well, time to put the pizza in the oven so I can crawl into bed as soon as it's done.


Monday, January 2, 2012


The dryer is fixed and I've been doing tons of laundry, trying to catch up.  I have three loads to go including what is in the washer and dryer right now.  Clean clothes!  And not only clean, but soft.

Hannibal's chin swelled up yesterday to huge proportions.  I'm going to call the vet tomorrow as nothing is open today.  It's a form of acne or something like it.  I think the swelling has gone down a bit and he's not in as much discomfort as he was yesterday (why does everything go wrong on a weekend?) but if it's not significantly reduced by tomorrow morning, I'll call the vet.  He's had this before but it went down on its own with just antibiotic ointment.  I checked online and that's most likely what the vet will do but also with a shot of antibiotics as well.  He's eating and drinking and sleeping just fine.  The online site said if they were in a lot of pain, they would do some low growling and go hide.  He's not growling and is keeping close to us for petting and snuggling so I think he's not in a great deal of pain.  More like a sore that only hurts when you bump it.  Which we're avoiding as much as possible.

We have snow on the ground that, while not a lot, is heavy and a bit icy.  I put salt down on the porch and steps because Professor was having a time getting up and in the door.  He's not staying out much when he goes out for a wee.  He hastens back up the steps and scratches frantically on the door.  Zach will have to shovel today and the wind is very bitter.  I imagine it will involve a lot of short shoveling and then coming back in to warm up.  We have a wind chill of about 4F today.  Brrrr!

I have to go out and about today.  I was going to wait until Zach got up and Tom got home but I think I'll get dressed now and get going.  Well, Tom just got home so I don't have to wait for him.  Anyway...need to get going.