Saturday, December 22, 2012

Nothing happens for days and then....bam!

The world didn't end yesterday but it was the day from hell and yet a good day at the same time.  Zach and I were out digging the car out of 20+ inches of snow when I had to go inside for a while.  I figured he had dug out enough for us to get out so I had my purse and keys with me, locked the door and walked outside to find our neighbor helping him dig the car out.  I was so pleased because the neighbor has never really spoken to me before.  He's always friendly with us but just hadn't talked to me.

So I went to warm up the car and help get the snow off the windshield but he had gone to his garage to get his shop broom to do it instead.  I left my purse in the car and got out and was going to get the scraper out of the back seat but couldn't get the door open.  I figured it was frozen shut so I was going to just grab it from the front seat but that door wouldn't open either.  For some bizarre reason the sensor had locked all the doors on the car.  And it was running.  And the only other key was 30 miles away.  And the house was locked up tight. I didn't have Tom's work number because it was in my purse but Zach had his phone so he was going to go online and get it from his phone but the neighbor insisted we come inside his home. And it was going to take Tom at least a half-hour to an hour (because of work and weather) to get there.

We got the number, phoned Tom at work and was able to wait inside, warm and safe until Tom could get things straightened out at work and come rescue us.  I felt so bad about him having to leave work but it's only the third time in 26 years of marriage that I've had to call him at work so it's not like it happens all the time.  And only the second time he's had to leave work to help me.

But it was so nice to finally get to know the neighbor and his wife.  I'm guessing they were both as shy as I am.

Then I had to go shopping and figured I would take the state highway instead of the county road, thinking it would be better.  WRONG!!!  It had solid chunks of packed snow and ice with significant drop-offs onto the pavement from a packed snow drift.  I came back the county highway which was practically clear all the way.  Go figure.

By the time we got done shopping, I could barely move.  My upper arms were so sore from the shoveling and the dodgy hip was giving me grief so walking was painful, too.  Fortunately by the time we checked out the lines were only 3 deep instead of six or seven, like it was when we first walked in.  Driving home wasn't a knuckle buster like the trip there was except for one curve where a huge truck was coming the opposite direction on a curve and there was a huge drift on my side of the road that hadn't packed down.  I let off the accelerator before I got there so I didn't slide but the truck was over the line on my side because it wasn't visible there.  I had to go onto the side of the road, into more snow...about 4-5 inches deep, to avoid him.  Other than that, it wasn't bad.

So we had pizza because I was nearly in tears from the stress, pain and fatigue.  And I was too tired to eat any.

I had decided to knit up some hats and scarves for my neighbor and his wife for their hospitality and all the years of them clearing the driveway apron so I picked up some yarn while I was at the store.  I started on his hat and knitted about 4 inches last night before Tom got home and we briefly celebrated our anniversary by giving each other things that were sitting on the table.  Like...I gave him his keys, he gave me a bag of chips.  This kept going on and we were laughing so hard that Zach came out wanting to know what was going on.  He left shaking his head.  Adults!  We're really backward because I'm the one who always forgets, which I did once again.  Since our anniversary is so close to Christmas we don't usually buy each other gifts but especially this year since the world was going to end anyway.

But I did sleep well last night and when I woke up this morning I got dressed and went out to refill the bird feeders.  I also bought some field corn for the bigger birds and squirrels.  I got outside and immediately fell, landing on a cushion of 20+ inches of snow.  I finally made it out to the feeders and back and sat down at the computer to read my mail and stuff and looked out to watch the birds but the feeder that they use most of the time was on the ground.  Apparently the weight of the snow on it had weakened the string.  Dang it!  I don't know if we can fix it but if I move the other one to that spot they'll use it.  As of now they're mostly eating off the snow instead of the other feeder.

I'll go out later I suppose.  It will bother me all day until I do it.

But today I need to finish decorating the tree and wrapping presents.  And what cleaning I can get done.  And probably some laundry, too.  Plus tons of knitting this weekend.


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Christmas is sneaking up on me

I've been under the weather for a few days with a cold, the first one in years, maybe decades, that hasn't turned into bronchitis or a massive sinus infection.  It was a 3 day cold that, while miserable for a day or two, left me without overstaying its welcome.  I still have a minor cough but my chest is no longer so sore from coughing that I couldn't even bend over, let alone cough without a pillow to my chest.

But I did get some knitting done while feeling poorly.  I talked to my son in Montana and he doesn't want any hats or mittens or anything so what I knit will go to charity somewhere.  I picked up some wool and am knitting myself another pair of socks.  I finished up Tom's and Zach's.  I already knitted up a pair for myself.  I have enough wool for at least two more pair if I'm not particular about what the last pair looks like.

I need to finish up the baby blanket.  I still haven't found the folder with the pattern so I'll have to re-print it out.  But I decided not to send it until after the holidays since the post office is a bit busy this time of year.  I can wait.  It's not like she'll outgrow it in a month or so.  I made it crib size so she can use it for a while.

The Christmas shopping is done.  Pretty meager this year but it can't be helped.  At least we have all our needs and that's more important now than anything else.  I'm going to have to work past the fatigue and depression to get back to frugality.  The economy might be picking up but inflation is outpacing us.  At least I feel better today.  Enough to get some work done and maybe the house decorated for Christmas.  I hope. 

I need to refill the bird feeder today.  Odd how the birds keep eating the seed I leave out for them.  This is the first year I've had birds us up the suet.  Mostly it just dissolves from the rain but I've seen what I think are nuthatches hanging on the suet cage.  I saw a huge squirrel in the back yard the other day.  He was about twice the size of the squirrels we see scampering around the neighborhood. 

Venison for supper tonight.  I'm very thankful for that.  I'm thinking of a ham for Christmas dinner instead of roast chicken.  Not fans of turkey and we rarely have ham so that would be a treat.  A small one though.  I don't have room to store a bigger one. 

Well, I have much to do today so I need to get moving while I have the energy.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I had to make a promise

...before Zach would help me move my room around again.  It just wasn't working out so I'm back to where I was in the very beginning.  It's a pain to open the curtains but other than that, it's easier to make the bed and for some strange reason, the pets sleep on the sides of the bed this way instead of in the middle the other way.  In fact, Professor slept under the covers beside me last night...first time since moving the room last time.

But I had to promise Zach I wouldn't move it again until summer.  Or never.  He's preferring never.

I finished up the mitts but for some stupid reason the thumbs aren't the same length.  I think they're off by a couple of rows and it won't bother Stephen, I'm sure but it bugs me.  But re-knitting the thumbs isn't an option.  I'll just have to learn to let it go.  I intend to start his flip-top mittens tonight but I'm also working on Tom's winter socks.  He loves to wear them when he's outdoors because wool...real so much better than cotton or acrylic/wool blend.  I need to finish up the baby blanket but I'm going to have to re-print the pattern because I just can't find the folder it's in.  I'm sure I'll find it after I finish the blanket.  I don't really want to send it before Christmas because I don't have anything for the other kids.  I just don't have the money for more than this.  And no time to knit something up for them.

I finished up the second time through American Horror Story.  It was even better the second time.  Definitely have to own that some day.  I went ahead and took it back today even though it wasn't due until next Wednesday because there is a waiting list and I wouldn't want to wait while someone had a movie sitting on their counter for a week, not watching it but too lazy to take it back.  So it's looking like clam chowder from a can for supper.  I'm still going through the fatigue.  Last weekend I had really bad pain and ended up taking move than my regular dosage, which I'm allowed to do occasionally.  I just hate to do it though.  My first reaction is to hoard my meds.  It takes a lot of pain for me to actually take them.  I hope the new doctor or my gp will understand that.

But I need to crawl into bed and catch up on my dvr stuff that I put off while watching AHS twice.  I'd watch it again but I wouldn't want to get sick of it.  I think I'll watch an episode or two of AHS season two.  Which is a totally different story.  Or maybe the Doctor Who I have on my dvr.  The rest of season 7, I think.

And knitting on the mittens and socks the rest of the night.


Monday, December 10, 2012

Back to spinning

I had a pretty productive weekend.  Did all the laundry except for the load in the dryer that I need to get out later, watched a marathon of American Horror Story, season 1, finished knitting Zach's socks, started on Tom's, nearly done with Stephen's mitts and plied two spindles full, washed and turned into a "cake."  I do it by hand, wrapping it around an old prescription bottle, making it a center pull.  It turned out softer than I had thought but it's still a bit rough, mostly because it's top and not the softer under fleece.  Still it will make a good yarn to work with once I figure out what that will be.  I'm nearly done with another spindle-full.  I'm using a kick spindle so I end up with less each step of the way.  The color isn't staying; it's washing out.  I don't know if that's because I used coffee or if it's the nature of the yarn not to take dye well, but as the color isn't very appealing, that may not be a bad thing.  I've still got some kool aid I can use to re-dye it if I want to.

Other than all that, I didn't get a lot done.  I'm still sleeping longer and better but there are nights when I just don't sleep at all.  Last night I wanted to but Professor needed out about 4 times.  And it was cold and snow on the ground.  I have to go out with him because he barks at everything and in the middle of the night my neighbors don't want to share in that.  I can hush him right away but it takes a while to get the door open and get out there so I don't have the control over him unless I go out with him.  And it's really cold in the wee hours of the morning.

I got a letter from my rheumatologist's hospital informing me she's retiring in February.  It makes me nearly in a panic as she's the only doctor who will give me the number of pain pills I need, even if I don't use them all.  My gp, who really should be treating me for the fibromyalgia won't and won't give me more than 2 pills a day, which absolutely won't take care of the pain at all.  Plus if I only have a few, I tend to hoard them instead of using them for the pain, which can get really bad in the middle of the night.  But I'm afraid I'll run out at the end of the month if I don't have enough.  My rheumie gives me more than I need so I don't panic about it.  However, I'm afraid I'll start to hoard them again because I won't have a doctor who will treat me.  There is one in the next town but I doubt she is in my network.  I'll get to see her again right before she retires so I will ask her to beg my gp to treat me and give me the number of pills she does.  I went 10 years with this pain because the doctors didn't think it was real pain and told me there was nothing they could do for me.  I'm so afraid of that happening again.

Well, it's getting dark and I need to start supper soon and get back to watching American Horror Story, season 1 again before next week.  I'm also watching season 2 on dvr but it's a completely different story so each season is independent of the other.  It's really good and I'm told it gets amazing later but for now, it's not as great as fantastic as season 1.  Off to spin for a while.


Thursday, December 6, 2012

My mojo is back!

All it took was a new project for my older son.  He's living in Montana right now and while it's still pretty mild there, winter is still in its infancy.  January and February can be a real bitch so I'm knitting him some mitts, flip-top mittens and a hat out of some odd skeins I have around the house.  Trying to use my stash a bit before I buy anymore yarn.

My reading mojo is back as well.  I sat down and read a whole book yesterday.  In fact I lost sleep because I wanted to finish it.  It was a memoir and not about a person I particularly liked.  I liked her even less when I finished it but still I am fascinated by people who make their marks out there.

We're back to cold weather again.  I'm not hanging clothes out anymore for the year.  Too cold and takes too much time and energy.  I need to focus on getting caught up on cleaning and start cooking from scratch again.  I need to make up some tortillas today.  It's a favorite snack food for the guys so I should make them rather than buy them.  It doesn't take a lot of time or effort...just me getting up and doing it.

I didn't sleep a lot because my son in Montana called me this morning.  Not early and usually I would be up at that time if I hadn't stayed up all night reading so I'm in a fog right now.  But I was so glad to talk to the firstborn.  I had missed him.  A lot.

I do need to finish up some projects I've got going as well as the projects I just started.  I hope that will be easier now that my mojo is back.  Plus I just got American Horror Story from the library yesterday.  Season one, of course.  I found out I don't need season one to start season 2, which is on my dvr but it came into the library before I could get around to watching season 2.  So I've got that to watch before it's due back.  Lots of knitting can be accomplished while watching that in the next week or so.  Plus all the things on my dvr inventory.  Tons of tv series there including the first 2 seasons of Merlin and the first 2 seasons, so far, of Fringe.

I must get off and get something to eat and then work to be done.


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I"ve lost my mojo

Can't seem to want to knit right now.  I've picked up the needles a few times but lately have just done nothing while watching tv, which is a new experience for me.  I never do nothing while watching tv.  Knitting Daily is on and I'm enjoying that but still nothing in the way of knitting mojo.  Maybe I'm just bored with my projects.  Although it's not like I finish much anymore.  I'd rather do that than start a new project right now.

Still, I'm getting a few things done around the house.  Not a lot because the depression is still there although not as debilitating as it has been lately.  And spite of getting sleep most nights.  I'm starting to dream again, or at least remember my dreams.

It's been warm this week; tomorrow starts a cold spell again of temps in the 30s and 40s.  Still a bit warm for Wisconsin in December.  I wonder if we'll have a green Christmas this year.  I'd be okay with it.  Just this once.  I have no energy to shovel and Zach's been really down and fatigued this winter.  The dr won't put him on anti-depressants.  She wants him to see a psychiatrist.  I think we might be getting another doctor for Zach.  I've invested too much time in her but he hasn't.  She farms out nearly everything to specialists and we just can't afford to see specialists when a g.p. will do.  My rheumatologist can't figure out why my g.p. won't treat my arthritis and fibromyalgia.  There's not much to it, just prescribing my meds and checking for inflammation and stuff.  Plus I have to drive an hour away for the visit to the rheumie.  Zach won't go to a psychiatrist as he's had really bad experiences with the two he has seen in his life, with his OCD issues.

He might try a therapist but they can't prescribe anti-depressants.  Well, he'd try but we can't really afford the co-pay for it.

In the meantime I'm doing all I can for him.  But some of it he's going to have to do himself and I know from personal experience it's not that easy.  I've been told to just push myself or just get out more or just do whatever it is people think I should do that will magically fix my depression and he's heard the same shit.  It's just not easy.  Still, the fact that he's still hanging on means he's trying.

Well, I need to get some clothes out of the dryer and wash another load.  It was warm for a while but rainy so I got back to using the dryer and think I will continue with it.  It's time consuming and requires energy to hang clothes out and when you have a miniscule amount of energy using it for that means nothing else gets done.

I'm really tired of being tired all the time.