Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Drowsy Wednesday

I'm still fighting to stay awake and get some things done. I got a little bit more done Tuesday evening but still went to bed early. This after a 2 hour afternoon nap. I'm not sure why I'm sleeping so much and maybe I shouldn't worry about it. Heaven knows I've been in a sleep deficit for years. Decades even.

I got some shopping done today since tomorrow I'll be on the go a lot, taking Tom to work so I can have the car, so I can go to Maundy Thursday service. Then I'll have to go pick him up again. And since I'm not used to staying up that late anymore, this should be interesting.

I got two blueberry bushes today. I almost got some Russet seed potatoes but I'm not sure I want to use the space for that since potatoes are pretty cheap and I'm not sure I could store potatoes well enough to eat them all before they went bad. The tobacco plants are looking good and I'm still waiting on the tomato seeds I had to replant.

I've gotten next to no knitting done the past few days because I'm so tired and don't anticipate getting anything done tonight either because I really would like to go back to bed right now.

And I might just do that.

I might be coming down with something and that would account for it but aside from achy and tired with a headache, I've got no other symptoms. And those are all symptoms of fibromyalgia so who knows what's going on.


Monday, March 29, 2010

Drowsy Monday

I managed to make it to church this morning for the annual altar guild cleaning but I didn't go too early as I was going to do the shampooing of the carpet and that is a thing best done without a crowd. Unfortunately the owner of the steam cleaner had to go to work after she showed me how to work it and I couldn't get it to suck up the water. So I ended up not using a lot of the water so it would dry by tomorrow. I left fans on to speed up the drying. It looked better but I would have been happier if it had sucked the water out of the carpet.

Zach's adviser canceled on him so it will be another week before he can see her. I get tired of him not being able to contact her when he needs her. We ended up wasting a lot of money on a class for an internship that didn't pan out because he tried to contact her for months and she never responded...supposedly never got any of the emails. Then it was six weeks into the class before she informed him he needed to find his own internship. Very late in the game and one that didn't work out so we wasted a few hundred dollars on that deal. Now he needs this portfolio to graduate and is having trouble doing the project and we've already waited 2 weeks to get this appointment only to have to wait another week. My patience is wearing very thin.

I've spent most of the day napping although I did get a load of clothes in the wash and washed up the dirty dishes. I'm getting ready to start supper here in just a few. After that I'm heading back to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a more productive day.

Church was good as usual yesterday. I had coffee hour so my partner in the altar guild did the clean up. I hated that she had to do it alone but I forgot it was our weekend when I signed up for coffee hour. No one else had and I didn't want to see Palm Sunday go without one.

Standing on my feet for it wore me out though. I've got to figure out a way to get my energy back.

My mother is having trouble with her arm. She thinks it's bursitis but it doesn't sound a bit like when I had it. It travels down her whole arm and feels like it's on fire. Daddy is going to try to get her to go back to the doctor. She tends to give them one chance and if they don't fix something, doesn't go back. But he's worried about her and frankly, so am I. It's her right arm so she uses it a lot. I told her to try not to but my mother won't slow down. At 76 she's still pretty darned active.

Well, supper isn't going to cook itself so I've got to get that one and then back to bed for me. I can barely keep my eyes open.


Friday, March 26, 2010

It feels like my week is just beginning

I'm sleeping my life away these days. I feel incredibly guilty that I'm not getting much done but it feels so good to sleep at last. I hope everything evens up pretty soon though.

Susie B had a great idea in comments yesterday about planting catnip to keep Hannibal away from my tomato plants. I have several extra planters and some catnip seed so tomorrow I'll be doing that.

I also have altar guild tomorrow and since I have coffee hour after church Sunday I need to get stuff ready for that. I decided against the muffins because it would take forever and a lot of pans to clean to get it all done in the toaster oven. I have animal crackers they can use for sweet stuff and that should be enough. I think oftentimes it gets too competitive over how much stuff a person can serve. And we don't have the money to do a lavish fete.

We have Showtime preview this weekend and while there isn't much on I'm interested in, I thought I might just watch Twilight to see what it's all about. I don't mind the frenzy since I'm a huge Harry Potter fan but it's never really appealed to me before. I could change my mind after seeing it though. Time will tell.

I'm finally done with my Lenten stuff. I finished up the last hat last night and the two blankets are already done. I need to dig out a pattern for Bette's vest and cast on but in the meantime I have another blanket on the needles that I can work on. Just not so feverishly now.

It's a bit colder these days but the sun is shining so that makes up for it. It won't be long before I'll be bitching about the heat. I can't wait.

Tom is working this weekend. I'd like to think things are picking up at work but I doubt we'll see that 15% pay cut back into his paycheck any time soon. I'm guessing they want to have a cushion before they think about their workers. I just wish we could see light at the end of the tunnel.

Wednesday Zach has to go meet with his adviser about his portfolio. I hope he can get it done soon. So far nothing has come of his job applications. I need to get the garden staked out soon, too, so I can start working my "job." I also need to figure out a way to get over this pain and fatigue so I can be more productive. I beat myself up every day thinking about Tom working so hard and I'm not getting anything done. He never says anything to me about it, bless his heart, but I can't imagine there isn't some part of him that feels a bit bitter that he has to carry so much of the load. He never says anything about it though. There probably aren't many men like him out there.

Off to eat supper and then I'm thinking of going back to bed. I hope all this sleep is helping. It sure can't hurt.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Battling the blues

As I had a sleepless night Tuesday with a pain level of about 8 (on a scale of 1 to 10) I did a lot of napping yesterday and some angst-ridden time online with people who are opposed to the health care reform bill. Next time I'm staying away from the internet. A good movie and a knitting project is so much more soothing.

But I did sleep well last night and woke up much earlier than I'm used to. I productively got some errands run before Tom had to leave so I was able to use the car. Shopping, however, was in the afternoon using the truck.

I've got hat number 40 on the needles so as soon as I finish it I've got to start on the sweater vest for Bette at church. She picked out a lovely pink shade of Vanna's Choice so I have to figure out the pattern I want to use. She wants just plain boat neck which should be easy enough but she's tiny so I don't want to knit a vest too big for her. I've got to dig my patterns out before I decide to print out one I've got favorited from online. I should do that before it gets dark.

I'm making scalloped potatoes with cheese and fried ham tonight for supper. I'm trying to use up the rest of the ham from last month (it's been in the freezer so it's safe.) I don't love to cook so this isn't something that comes easy to me, figuring out a menu. And I like baking even less.

We have the coffee hour this week after church so I got some summer sausage, braunschweiger, cheese and crackers and some muffin mixes. I can work on all that Saturday at church since I've got altar guild anyway. And I need to swing by the library Saturday too so the whole day will pretty much be spent running around.

I'm really discouraged about my garden. Hannibal has eaten almost all the tomato plants. I couldn't blockade them enough. He found a way around everything I did. So the cover is back on because everything is short enough now to use it. I hate it because that sets me back about 3 weeks now. Buying the plants is too expensive unless I just want one or two for tomatoes to eat during the summer.

At least the tobacco is growing okay so far. I've got to fight these feelings of defeat. It comes to me way too easily and I just can't afford to give up this time. I hope I can muddle through this. It doesn't help on top of untreated depression.

Off to grab a quick nap before I start supper.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Mr. President, you done good

It's been a much better day today with sunshine and temps in the 50s. I had errands to run and that took up all afternoon but since I did a pretty thorough cleaning job yesterday it's not a big deal. I'm almost done with the baby hats. I've got number 39 on the needles right now. I'll be so glad to finish them up.

A woman at church wants me to knit her a vest and provided the yarn for it. For church family I don't take money but ask them to donate whatever they would think the item worth to the church. I feel better that way rather than taking money from people I love. I've been getting some ideas for a pattern and have selected three I'm going to work from, taking a bit from here and a bit from there.

On the negative side, my seedlings are too tall so I had to take the plastic cover off. Hannibal ate 6 of my tomato plants so I'm back to square one on them. I've got to figure out how to keep him from the table. Aside from boxing it in with wood panels I don't know how to keep him away so...wood panels it is.

I don't have a lot of luck with gardening.

For the record, I'm very pleased that President Obama signed the health care bill and while it is flawed, it's a start. I get so tired of all the posturing on the part of the nay-sayers that I can barely talk to people who are posting such nasty, mean-spirited things on facebook about the President and about our country.

And for the record: no this isn't socialism, not even on the road to socialism, not even on the same planet as socialism. What it is, is a meager attempt to provide what we, as a nation, should have been providing all along instead of selfishly whining about what's mine. Thou shalt not share seems to be the mantra of the opponents of health care for all.

'Nuff said.

Off to put my feet up for a while and think about what to fix for supper.


Sunday, March 21, 2010

Will it ever end?

Church today was very good. Zach had a vestry meeting afterwards so a few of us stayed in the fellowship hall and talked loud and raucous politics. And laughed and had a blast. It was mid afternoon when I finally made it home so I immediately called my mother for our weekly chat (that I'm sorely behind on.)

Another death. A guy I've known since I was in grade school killed himself last week. We hadn't been in touch much since high school but heard about each other via the old grapevine. We were all part of that gang who hung out together as a group rather than as pairs or partners. Yes, I had a mad crush on him off and on but he was clearly out of my league and to be honest, I think I liked him better as a friend anyway. I last saw him about 19 years ago at a class reunion and he was so happy and so friendly. He talked about his daughter non-stop. I think she was about Zach's age.

I thought about my parents' friends as my mom was telling me about it all. They've pretty much outlived all of their old "gang." Even the couples younger than them. I think there is one couple left. We started losing friends from high school within weeks after graduation and it's been going on pretty steadily ever since then. Losing Christy was the hardest for me...a young mother. She had a daughter about Zach's age as well. This seems to be a common theme here.

Another one was Jimmy. He was the bad boy, the loser, the guy who hung out at the pool hall. He sat in front of me in English class and was a blast. So funny. So...nice. On the way home from work one night he was hit head on by a drunk driver. He was 19.

I can think of a dozen who were gone by the 20th reunion. It was a small school; we all knew each other.

I had my own brush with death, survived it and too often take it for granted. Christy's death got me to the doctor for long-postponed medical exams because she had been putting her annual exams off for several years and died from a commonly cured cancer. The third mammogram found my cancer. I can say definitively that her death saved my life.

It's time I stopped taking my life for granted and gain my health back. Yeah, some stuff I can't change, but what I can, I need to do. I can't take medication for my depression because of a possible fatal intervention with my pain pills and after over 12 years of untreated chronic pain, I'm not going back there. But there are things I can do to help it.

In spite of all my whining, I really do prefer my life to no life at all. It's time to actually prove that now.


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Not a good news Saturday

Although I'm still dragging I managed to dig deep and find some energy to get the laundry done (although in the dryer and not on the clothesline), run errands and change my room back. I haven't slept well since I moved it the last time and although it works better as a room, it was for crappy sleeping and sleeping takes priority over form. I also attacked the kitchen first thing but it's a mess again because I haven't been able to keep up with it.

I'm hoping for an early night tonight. I don't want to miss church again. In fact, unless I get less than 3 hours sleep, I'm going anyway. I can drive on 3 hours sleep but not less. And I can try to limit the pain pills tonight. Maybe use a hot water bottle or something instead. Unless the pain keeps me awake; then it becomes a futile exercise.

We got about an inch of snow last night but none on the pavement or streets. And most of it is gone by now due to a lot of sunshine. Still colder than we're used to but seasonable at least. Mid 30s, which is moderate jacket weather for those of us coming out of temps in the minus numbers. Supposedly there is more snow on the way but I'm not going to panic about it. It won't affect driving tomorrow at all.

My tomato plants are looking good. The tobacco plants are still tiny and not all of them have popped up yet so I might have to do some replanting. Although I have some sections that have 3 or 4 plants growing together. I might just transplant those instead of planting new seeds. I planted some pepper plants this week as well. I would have planted them sooner but I couldn't figure out which 3 rows I had set aside for them were actually empty of seeds until something started growing.

I might start my peas soon. I have some pots outside I can bring in and take out during the day since peas are supposed to be hardy plants. I can't afford to get a lot of tomato baskets but I might just use dowels and tie them to that. Or I've got some t-fence posts I could use as well. I'm trying hard to do this inexpensively.

I got a lot of things from the library today. I haven't even looked to see what all I got but I know one dvd is House season 3 and two seasons of Jonathan Creek. Not sure what else is in there. I have tons of knitting to get done so I'm going to have an early night and do nothing but knit and watch dvds. Everyone is on their own tonight: French bread pizzas in the fridge. Maybe I'll get some good sleep tonight and have energy tomorrow to get more things done.

I heard today from my sister that our former pastor's wife died from ALS. I hadn't seen them in nearly 20 years but it still bothers me to hear of people I know dying. Her youngest was about the same age as Zach and they used to play together a lot. I'm so sorry for their loss.

When I feel too sorry for myself I need to remember that there are people out there who have it much, much worse. And remember that, not out of arrogance, but out of humility that I need to be more appreciative of what I have. And do that much more for those I can help.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

The glass is just too darned big.

There are times I think about just not blogging anymore since I never seem to post anything positive. It feels like I'm a constant whiner, never looking at the glass half-full. Zach found an interesting quote online that stated something like: It's not whether the glass is half empty or half full. It's whether or not you've got too big a glass. For some reason I like that. I think my glass is too big.

I got a bill yesterday from the rhematologist's office for the full amount of the bill, the insurance company declining to pay because I don't appear to be insured by them. sigh I don't know why everything has to be such an uphill battle getting them to pay out every single one of my bills. Most times they get by with it because I have no idea why they won't pay out and I can't find anyone to tell me. So please explain to me why we don't need health care reform? Explain to me why the insurance companies aren't taking advantage of people on a grand scale.

So now I sit today waiting for Tom to go to work and talk to the guy who knows these things to find out if I'm still insured. Because if they dropped me, I'm toast. I'll never be able to get insurance again. If Zach was denied coverage because of his Tourette Syndrome/OCD, then I'm for sure not going to get coverage for cancer/diabetes/high blood pressure/high cholesterol.

On the positive side, I have tomato plants peeking through the soil of my seed tray and a few tobacco plants as well. The tobacco plants are super tiny (as were the seeds) so it may be that not all of them germinated and I'll have to start more. But it does cheer me up to see those green things.

On the other hand the forecast for Sunday is 7 inches of snow.

Yesterday was spent darning socks. I found 27 of Tom's socks with holes (not huge ones) of a reparable state so I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and darned socks all afternoon into the evening. It's tedious work but does save money in the long run. I didn't have a darning egg though and since light bulbs aren't round anymore couldn't use one of those either. I found some larger sized plastic Easter eggs at the store and they work beautifully. Just the right size. And only a dollar.

I started another hat, which would be number 34, and worked on the blanket while watching New Tricks, season one. I love that show! The other hats and one blanket are on their way to Haiti now. They had to get there before the end of the month in order to avoid duty fees.

Today looks to be a busy day so I'm off to get some things done.


Monday, March 15, 2010

A gorgeous day

It was a good day. Not only was there sunshine and warmth, there also was sleep. Maybe not 8 hours, but uninterrupted 6 is still good.

I started out the day hopping out of bed...okay...crawling out of bed, letting the Professor out for his morning wee and a trip down to the basement to start a load of whites to hang out in the sunshine.

Tom had taken down the rope that went across the back yard, to which we had attached a caribeener and a lead so either Hannibal or Professor could navigate the back yard. Well, he discovered that it was pulling on the addition and that was one of the reasons the back door couldn't latch during the winter. Hannibal is no longer allowed out but Professor still needed some way to enjoy the back yard so I attached a lead to the clothesline and he spent a good part of the morning out there. I brought him in when Zach and I headed to the library and credit union.

I also made a side trip to StuffMart because I decided I needed to get a better hand on my diabetes (I'm terrible at taking my sugar) and bought some food that I could use to do a South Beach type diet. I took my sugar this morning and in spite of having a sugar binge this week, my sugar was barely over the top number. My after lunch testing had me way low. I'm wondering just what I need to do to get my sugar level...or at least high enough. I had this problem once before when I first was diagnosed. My levels were so low I had to add sugar back into my diet. I mean really the 70s after meals 70s.

My last A1C was well below the high level in spite of me eating more sugar than I should have.

I'm so confused.

I weighed myself this morning and I still haven't gained any weight from 2 years ago. But I'm tired of my clothes not fitting and not feeling good so I'm going to try to knock off 20 pounds. Just focus on those 20 pounds and see if I feel better after that. It's just too overwhelming to try to lose all I need to lose so every little bit helps.

Anyway...I dashed by the church on the way home because we're brown-bagging a lunch with the priest tomorrow so I dropped off some Sprite so it would be cold for lunch and found the church doors open. I looked around and didn't see anyone or evidence of anyone so I locked up and Zach is going to email Mary to let her know.

I've got tuna salad and a lettuce salad to fix tomorrow morning and chop up some broccoli instead of chips. Not a lot of work but I like it fresh so I don't want to fix it all tonight.

Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm having withdrawal and need to rearrange my bedroom. And I have to do it before dark since I only have one light in there and can't unplug it to move it if it's dark in there.

Supper tonight are hamburgers using the George Foreman grill and a green vegetable and maybe some carrot sticks. I'm being so good. LOL!

And the next load of clothes is nearly ready to go on the line so...


Sunday, March 14, 2010

I like to fall back much more than spring forward

I did remember to turn the clock ahead but my body couldn't respond that quickly and I didn't get to sleep until about 5:30 a.m. I tried to get up at 7:30 to get ready for church but with the pain pills I had taken and lack of sleep I didn't trust myself to drive there, let alone try to drive home. I hated missing church but I would have hated having an accident even worse.

I've been dozing on and off all day and I feel a bit better except for the pain. I tend to put off taking a pill until it gets bad. Yet I try to get it into my system before it gets BAD. It's hard knowing when that cutoff line is.

I've finished up 31 hats and 2 blankets. I'm halfway done on the 32nd hat and not very far along on the 3rd blanket. Oddly, I'm not bored yet. That surprises me because my boredom level is pretty darned high. That's why I generally have several projects going on at once.

It was a lovely day...didn't need the furnace at all today...or last night either. The gas and electric bill should be pretty nice next month. It's not bad at all this month. Water, on the other hand, has gone up a lot since they switched to a monthly bill. We can't win.

I'm planning on washing clothes tomorrow so I can hang them out. It promises to be another lovely day. I haven't seen the forecast beyond that but hopefully the days of using the dryer are going to be fewer and farther between from now on. Every penny saved...

My seedlings still appear to be seeds so far. I still have a few days before they're supposed to peek their greenness out from the seed pods in the tray. I'm not very good at gardening but so much is at stake this year. I must have a good garden. I must.

The neighbor's house has a sale pending sign on it. Amazing that it sold so quickly, but it is a small, starter home so it's either a small family or a landlord has bought it to rent out. There is some rental property on the other side of the house and they are pretty good neighbors so I have high hopes for whoever buys it. We tend to all keep to ourselves around here except for the regular neighborliness...the howdys, and the waving and taking care of each other's sidewalks during the snow. Otherwise it's just live and let live. Just the way I like it.

I fixed up a window seat for Professor today so he could sit in all his glory and survey his kingdom. Being on the side of a hill and having a full street view makes him feel like he owns it all and whenever anyone dares to walk on his property (as far as the eye can see he thinks is all his) he has to warn them off. The joys of spring and summer are coming up. I got his barking collar out of the drawer and have it set aside for those nights when we are ready to open up the windows. Which doesn't seem to be that far off.

There is a mini-series starting tonight on HBO called The Pacific that I think Tom wants to see. He's a fan of documentaries and stuff about history, particularly WWII so we'll give it a viewing to see if it's any good. He's been having a ball with Boston Legal season 2 that I got from the library. I haven't heard him laugh that much in ages. It's good to hear.

Here's hoping that I can get some sleep tonight so I can get some work done outside tomorrow, along with washing and hopefully some baking.


Friday, March 12, 2010

Dry Spell

I hesitate to post because I'm just reiterating the same things over and over again: I'm so freakin' tired I can't get anything done and what I do get done is so mundane as to be too ridiculous to post. Oh, and I wake up in pain and can't get back to sleep until the meds kick in so I'm back to not sleeping through the night.

And now that spring is around the corner, the rat-bastard squirrels and chipmunks are playing in the yard annoying Professor who isn't reticent to voice his disapproval.

Grumpy much?

StuffMart had Babylon 5 last week and while I couldn't afford it now, I was thinking that maybe with Mother's Day coming up someone might want to surprise me with a season or two. They are completely out. Don't even have an empty space for them anymore.

I had to get windshield wipers for both vehicles today and boy, howdy! that's not cheap. But what the have to have them and getting the cheapest brand doesn't make good sense because they only seem to last a couple of months.

Yeah...and grouchy, too.

So I'm going to bed now before I get even crankier and try to get some knitting done while I watch All Creatures Great and Small, season 6...the last season. The library doesn't have any of the specials so this is all I'll get to see, I guess. I also got season 3 of Jonathan Creek. I'm not sure I've seen that season.

I've given up on Ghost Whisperer. I'm bored with the story line and if I change my mind I can always watch it in syndication.

I think it's too late. I think I've gone beyond cranky. Off to bed for sure.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ah, yes...spring and the return of the squirrels

It's raining and gloomy and the squirrels are annoying Professor again. Ah, yes...spring.

I've got the ham in the oven and it will be a couple of hours before it's done. I've rethought the potato soup and am going with just boiled potatoes (with french fries for Zach, of course) and peas.

And I'm dragging again. sigh

I tried napping but the squirrels are venturing out and Professor takes this as a personal affront. He simply must announce to the world that hates squirrels, the paper person and the postal carrier. Loudly and frequently. So much for a nap.

It's been a couple of days since we've seen the sun but this won't last forever and at least it's still warm enough that the furnace isn't kicking on a lot. Hope is on the horizon. There are green patches among the brown in the yard and the snow is soon to be a memory. At least the wall of snow that borders the street is merely a hurdle now. In a few weeks we'll be allowed to park on the street again and won't have to juggle the vehicles. For a while anyway.

Zach's meeting is in the home of the Senior Warden and not the church so I'm having to re-think the plans. I guess I'll have to take Tom to work and pick him up again. Plus Zach has to meet with his advisor sometime in the next couple of weeks so another trip up to Fond du Lac is in the works. I had hoped not to go back up there again but it's necessary.

I'm going to try to nap again after I bring Professor back in again. Not that I think it will work since the mail carrier is due any time now.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Pizza for supper

A day of errands and knitting for the most part. I had books to return and movies to pick up at the library: Jonathan Creek, Brideshead Revisited (volume 1,) Revelations, The Number 23, Hot Fuzz and Madagascar. And Boston Legal, season 2, for Tom.

And store bought pizza for supper because I'm having a lazy day.

I finished up the blanket, including weaving in the ends and now have 28 hats completed. Barring a serious interference, there is no problem with meeting my goals. I have a compelling need to start another blanket though. I just must do.

I haven't been spending a lot of time online lately and I'm really not missing it. And while I'm still not at peak efficiency, I think I'm going to get there. Today wasn't a bang up day for getting things done but at least I wasn't totally fatigued out from the activity yesterday. Sleeping seems to be the key here.

I did sleep in a bit today but I didn't take a nap even though I really wanted one. Not being able to drive the truck at night limits me to a certain time frame to get the errands done. And while the days are lengthening, it's still not enough for me to leave later in the afternoon. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage next week as Zach has a Vestry meeting at 7 p.m. and it's dark by then. He'll have a ride home but I'm not sure how to get him there when the sun is still setting at 5:30. Daylight Savings Time will kick in but that still makes things a bit dodgy making it all work out. I guess I can take him early and let him in to wait. He can play games on his computer while he waits for everyone to show up. But it can get a bit creepy in the building by yourself. Still, he'll be okay since it wouldn't be for longer than 45 minutes or so.

I've been watering the seedlings and turning the trays so each one gets the same amount of sun in the course of a week. I just have the one window so I'm limited on how much I can plant and as it isn't full sun all day it works out, I think, if I just switch and turn the trays every other day. At least I hope so.

It was a gray day but nice. I discovered on the way home that I need new wipers on the truck. The passenger side blew apart and the driver's side smears too badly to actually see the road but as it was mostly misting, I didn't need to use them constantly. Good thing it's a short drive.

It's late and I just got up to switch dvds before starting another blanket and thought I should write down a few lines for the blog. Tomorrow will most likely be filled with the things I didn't get done today including making a bit pot of potato soup. And probably baking a ham. It was 98 cents a pound so I grabbed one up. I'll cook it up, divide it and pop some in the freezer and have the rest with the potato soup for supper. I've got fries for Zach as those are the only potatoes he'll eat.


Monday, March 8, 2010

After the slumber

It's amazing that I could sleep as much as I have the past 3 days but I'm all the better for it. I managed to make it to church yesterday without dragging but I did take a long nap when I got home. And although I woke up early today and got some things done first thing, when I started getting sleepy I didn't fight it but went right down for another nap.

And so I have accomplished quite a bit today. Well, for me anyway.

Saturday I slept until noon and was worried that I wouldn't get back to sleep in time to get a good night's rest for church on Sunday but I had to fight to stay awake until about 9 or so. I think I slept a lot Friday, too.

From now on I'm not going to fight sleep. I'll give in to it and just let my body tell me what it needs. Maybe that is the key to getting my energy back.

I have the seeds planted. I went with 96 tobacco seeds and I think 18 tomato seeds. I got the wrong kind of pepper seeds so I'll need to pick it up next time I go to the store.

One huge accomplishment this month was being able to pay the quarterly insurance bill without dipping into savings or going into the red. It's hard to believe we were able to do that so there is maybe a blush of light at the end of that tunnel after all.

And next month should be even better considering our gas and electric bill will be even less. This month's bill is only $114 and some change. Amazing.

Tomorrow I plan on tackling the basement and getting some stuff hauled out to the trash bin since it's pick up day. And I need to do some bleaching on the floors before summer so we don't gag from the winter mold and mildew amassing.

And next week I plan on getting the bathroom ready for painting. I think we're close enough that I can turn the heat up a bit if I need to for the paint to cure.

And I'm hoping that this week we can buy the tools Tom needs to fix the truck. I really would like to participate in the Lenten activities at church but since they're all at night and the truck only has one headlight (and for some reason the police notice us and not the other 99 people out there driving with one headlight) I don't drive at night.

I've finished 28 hats so far and am so close to finishing the blanket. A woman at church is having her grade school class make blankets for the Haitian babies as well. And I saw a 2 foot high stack of blankets in the corner of the narthex yesterday.

Jan is planning on going down next trip. She said they were having difficulties convincing the parents that the school building is safe enough for the children to resume school. I have to say that I really understand their hesitancy though. And she also said that they have more crutches than they can use as well. It's amazing how generous so many people are. Our diocese raised over $40,000 for the Haiti project, over $30,000 for Episcopal Relief efforts and someone else donated a bunch of money for something else (I can't remember what else it was.) It really makes me happy and restores my faith in people.

Impossible Pie for supper (I love meals I can pop in the toaster oven) with corn and green beans. Alnd the dishes are almost washed up as well so all I need to do after supper is to finish them up and vacuum and sweep the kitchen floor. I think I'll mop tomorrow.

I'm taking down some of the winterizing effects. I took down the curtains off the foyer so the sun can come inside better. Tomorrow I'm going to clear out the back hallway and take that curtain down as well. I'll keep the plastic on the windows until May most likely though. We still have some cold nights ahead of us and I suspect some cold days. But we don't necessarily need to block off the hallways anymore. At least it makes me feel like spring is around the corner this way.

And according to the calendar it is as well.


Friday, March 5, 2010

Will these beautiful days last?

It's going to be a Cadfael weekend. I picked up several dvds from the library today and since I'm behind in my knitting, the weekend will be catch up time. I still have another dvd on the fourth season of All Creatures Great and Small.

And I have tons of reading to do as well. My Lenten reading isn't going too well. Hard to read when your brain is mush. I am going to try, though. Maybe taking notes will help. I used to do that in college to help me understand and memorize facts and concepts. Maybe I could exercise my brain and be able to actually think again.

We're looking at temps in the high 40s for the weekend. I hope to start walking Professor again real soon. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day to start that. I keep wondering if we're getting teased and maybe there is another bad weather front on the way. It's just that I've just been burned so many times by the weather man I just can't trust him anymore. sob I'm thinking of breaking up with him. I mean, how can you have a relationship with someone who is always misleading you?

I must plant the seeds tomorrow though. I'm losing some wonderful sun that could be nourishing my baby seeds and making them grow.

I wish I could say I'm feeling better today and got a ton of things done. I wish I could say that, but I can't. It must be incredibly boring to read post after post of me whining that I don't feel good. Imagine having to live it day after day. But no one should have to listen to it so I'm going to try to find something else to blog about that doesn't include me having no energy and getting nothing done. If I forget, kick my butt and tell me to shut up and stop whining.

I'm not done for the day yet even though the sun is setting so I must away and get it done.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

A glimmer of energy

The weather here is just beautiful. The warmth is melting the snow so Professor has more territory to explore in the yard. He manages to walk on top of the snow most of the time but every now and then he'll break through and sink to his belly. But around the edges we're seeing dead grass that one day soon will be green again.

I replenished the bird feeder today. I didn't feel too bad about it being empty since a lot of our neighbors have feeders, too. They've knocked a bunch of seeds into the bird bath, which is plastic and has a lip on it so I can't pour the wet seeds out. I'll have to scoop them and I'm not up for that today.

I changed out two antique curtain rods today that had been a major pain. Whenever I tried to open or close the curtains the whole thing would fall down. I duct taped one of them but decided to just break down and pay the two dollars each for the new rods. I don't have a lot of upper body strength so I didn't get the hardware firmly attached but it's enough until I can have another go at it.

Supper is cooking now and I intend to vacuum the living room and my bedroom and then sweep the kitchen floor after the supper dishes are done. Then into bed for some knitting. I finished another hat last night, which makes 22 hats so far. I only knit a few rows on the blanket, however. I had so little energy. I'm hoping the flare up is fading instead of me fading. I'm feeling a bit better but I don't want to jump in and have a frenzy of cleaning and then end up in bed for a week. Still, I managed to get a lot done comparatively.

I am in the process of doing three loads of clothes. I wanted to hang them out but considering my limited amount of energy these days, thought it was more important to get some other things done while the clothes were in the dryer. They came out of the washer with a lot of lint on them anyway so it's for the best.

I still haven't planted the seeds yet. I'll try to get that done tomorrow. As I said, I'm not really behind yet since it will still be a couple of months before I'll feel safe about putting anything in the ground. I know the farmers plant their crops sooner than that and maybe I'll just watch them. But I have little and can't afford to lose much.

I'm off to finish up supper and get the clothes out of the dryer.


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Fading away

I've been thinking about the "d" word again. It's pretty obvious that while I'm not eating around the clock and thinking food 24/7, I'm not losing weight anymore. In fact, I suspect I've gained some. I'm so tired of feeling crappy all the time. I know losing weight won't change the pain but it will change the fatigue levels. Even just a little bit. So I shopped accordingly today.

I'm not looking forward to dieting again and I really don't want to go back to obsessing about food all the time, but I need a change in direction and I don't know what else to do.

I did manage to go to sleep last night but woke up when Tom came home. Not his fault, but there it is. So I dozed on and off until about 4 a.m. and finally gave it up for good around then. So I only got about 5 hours uninterrupted sleep in all and I am dragging my butt today. As expected.

I didn't knit last night at all. I didn't even have the energy to do that. In fact, I might not knit today either as I don't have anymore get up and go today than I did yesterday.

Oh, and by the way, Tale of Devereaux sucked, I am sorry to say. I tried to watch it last night while trying to get sleepy again and just couldn't get into it. The plot was all over the place and while Devereaux was cute as a button and I love Matthew Broderick as an actor, (and it did have several wonderful actors in it) the script was crap. Animation was great though. Yet not enough to save it.

Yeah, I know...when you're chronically tired and in pain, most everything is crap. And yet so many things aren't. Supernatural is a great show; so is House, M.D. I haven't gotten to Boston Legal yet but it looks good as well. So it's not the pain and fatigue speaking when I say that about Tale of Devereaux. At least not all of it is.

I'm just back from shopping. I had Zach bring the groceries in because I just couldn't do it and since I can, I'm going to lie down for a short nap before I fix supper.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010


The energy mode didn't stay in high gear. I crashed just after supper last night and went to bed without finishing up my list. As usual. It was so abrupt and such a plummet that I took me by surprise. Not the first time that's happened though.

Today I had to lie down soon after Tom left for work and woke up around 6:30. I was so disoriented that I couldn't figure out why I didn't shut the blinds last night. I thought it was 6:30 a.m instead of p.m. It took me a minute. Also I was having a hard time processing a dream that included my cousin, an airplane, my birth certificate and a flight attendant who took my colored pencils and pastels and dumped them all over the cabin floor because I didn't have my birth certificate. I wonder what the meaning is behind all that.

As a result I got nothing done again today. It was sunny as well but I started out cold and never warmed up. Zach didn't think it was that cold so it must have been just me. I wonder how I'm going to get to sleep tonight with a half night's sleep behind me already. On the other hand, the way I feel right now, I could fall back into bed and not wake up for a week. Until I actually recline, I'm sure. Then my eyes will pop open and I'll be wide awake. That's the way it always is.

I'm fixing chili tonight. One pot meals are a lifesaver.

I didn't get the tobacco or the tomato seeds planted today but I'll get to them tomorrow. I'm not behind schedule as we still have heavy frost into May. It's a gamble to put anything in the ground before June 1st.

I'm almost done with House, season 3. I can't say it's my favorite. I particularly didn't like the Tritter/House story line at all. Zach had to talk me into finishing up the season. I do tend to pout like that when a series goes in a direction I don't like.

I did manage to finish up another hat but I only got a few inches done on the blanket. It seems so boring to talk about nothing but blankets and hats but I'm trying not to get sidetracked by the two sweaters that are awaiting my loving attention once Easter has come and gone. I just hope I can remember where I am in the patterns.

I think I'm going to start walking Professor tomorrow. Not only does the little roly poly need it, I do. I know that exercise and fresh air will help me rebuild my energy levels. But finding the energy to actually accomplish the task is akin to a Find Waldo poster. I must really find it somewhere though.

Supper is nearly done so I'm up for some supper. Chili, crackers and a tall glass of ice cold milk. Mmmmm....comfort food.


Monday, March 1, 2010

Hoping the energy mode stays with me.

Things are taking a turn for the better, definitely. Sunshine and nice temps. Okay it was in the mid 30s today but for us that felt like shirt-sleeve weather. I kept the heat at 55F today and with all the sunshine and physical activity going on, felt a bit warm. I'm starting to kick off covers at night even with the thermostat sitting at 50F.

The sunshine seemed to trigger an energy gene or something in me because I've been in a cleaning frenzy all afternoon. I did some deep cleaning, dishes, ironing and started getting my seed pods ready for planting tomorrow. Now I just need to fix supper and do some vacuuming and get the whites out of the dryer and I'll be ready for downtime.

I've finished the 20th hat so I'm halfway there. I'm confident that I'll be able to finish all 40 by Easter. And I'm more than halfway with the blanket as well. I'm pretty sure I can finish 2 more but I'm not making that a goal. Just a bonus if I do. I'm thinking of switching to crochet on the next blanket. I miss crocheting now and then.

I'm also hoping that the weather holds so I can start using the clothes line instead of the dryer from now on.

Off to cook supper and finish cleaning the kitchen.

We just heard from the insurance company. They denied coverage to Zach because of his Tourette Syndrome with a history of treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This in spite of the fact that he hasn't required any treatment for over 4 years. I am not a happy camper right now. Looking for alternatives out there though.