Tuesday, May 29, 2012

After the 3 day weekend

Got an update on my mother and the confusion seems to be coming and going, being much worse after her dialysis.  None of us understand why she's had 6 dialysis treatments in 8 days though.  Steph is going to talk to the dr soon and find out just what is going on.  Mom is getting an MRI tomorrow because her family doctor suspects a light stroke or something.  I wondered about that.

I've been knitting up a storm, but unfortunately making little progress on the Greek Key afghan because I kept messing up the pattern.  I'm back on track now and making good progress.  I also knitted up another dish cloth.  I have one more to knit unless I can find my cotton yarn.  And as we are tearing the house apart cleaning, that might actually happen.

Initially we were looking for the other key to the car because the chip in the sensor is dying out on the set Tom uses and he couldn't start the car when he got home Saturday morning.  Fortunately it started just fine this afternoon.  And even better luck...I found the other key under the entertainment center.  We've got one of those key hanger things by the foyer entrance but it must have fallen off at some point and landed under the entertainment center, which is right next to it. 

Still, it seems a waste to stop progress so we'll continue.  I had to take Dark Shadows back to the library today but I didn't do any shopping or errands or anything so we were back home with lots of afternoon left.  I'm wearing down though.  I need to at least finish up the dining room so we can walk through it.  I took some furniture out of my room (rocking chair and kitchen stool) and now have to find a place for it.  The rocking chair is in the corner for now and will probably stay there. 

So I must get back to work and take advantage of the miniscule amount of energy I have and just hope there is some left over for tomorrow.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Quick update

The situation with my mother is only slightly improved for now but there is hope that it will clear up significantly in the future.  At least I hope so.  She's in a rehabilitation center and is very unhappy about it.  Her confusion is such that she thinks my dad put her there, not the doctor.  Hopefully that will clear up but I am concerned that her dialysis is 3 times a week.  That seems a lot to me.  We'll be going down next month but it's hard to sit up here and worry.

My poor dad has really been through it with this.  He felt so guilty leaving her at the center yesterday.  They've been married nearly 63 years, I think.  Maybe 62...I can't remember.  After all that time to be apart like this must be hard.

I'm on a knitting marathon trying to get some things done to take down there.  Plus it helps me with the stress.

I'm nearly finished with the second collection of Dark Shadows.  It's really as good as I remembered it in spite of the cheesy acting and mechanical errors.  They apparently didn't have a great deal of control over those big cameras and they wiggle and wobble all over the place.

I'm on the list for the third collection but who knows when that will be available?  I have to time it so I don't get it when the Medium dvd becomes available.  I'm at the mercy of those who watch before me.

In the meantime I've got plenty of dvds and stuff on the dvr to watch.  Which will keep me knitting for quite a while.

Now off to eat supper and back to knitting.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Dark Shadows and much to knit

I did sleep last night in the feast or famine marathon of sleep-disorders.  I slept about 14 hours, in fact.  Not straight through, but only minor awakenings and brief at that.  Still very tired though and didn't get much of anything done today except a marathon of Dark Shadows because it was due back at the library and the second collection was ready to be picked up.

Since I don't have anyplace to go tomorrow, I will clean then.  If I sleep tonight.  I'll probably have to take an herbal sleeping pill or two though.

I finished up some dishcloths but I've decided not to send the care package to my parents.  They can't really deal with anything in it now so I'll just take it down with me.  This way I can get a lap blanket knitted up for my mother.  I doubt she'll need it much now but this summer the air conditioning might be a bit chilly.  She's had 3 dialysis treatments but was still very confused when I talked to her today.  Didn't know where she was...which hospital, that is.  Apparently earlier my aunt and uncle stopped by and she was fine.  I think she has sundowner's, which is a condition where confusion increases after sundown.  Not that it was that late when I talked to her though.  But apparently she gets worse at night.

The cape I"m making might end up going to my older sister.  I've got plenty of yarn to make myself another one.  Steph gets socks and Peg can have the cape.  It's good for cool days when you don't want something on your arms but can tuck them up in it if they get cold.

So I'd better get to work on both.  I still haven't found my cotton yarn, although I did find 2 skeins today.  Not the rest of it though.

Off to knit and see if Barnabus makes Maggie a vampire or not.  Not terribly interested in the storyline with Elizabeth and the guy blackmailing her.  The shows are just as cheesy as they were when we watched them but they are still oh, so fun!


Monday, May 21, 2012

When your mother is ill and you're far from her

I haven't disappeared from the face of the earth.  Truth is, I'm dealing with my mother's illness and the treatment that has done more harm than good, nearly killing her in the process.  Not blaming the dr.  It's just the way things turn out.  Her meds have made her weak and confused and as a result she fell.  She's on coumadin, which thins the blood and her levels at the time she fell were very low so it's a wonder she didn't bleed to death.  She's in the hospital now, receiving dialysis because the treatment wasn't working anyway and will have to go to a rehabilitation center at the end of the week when all the treatments are done.  She can't go home because there is no one to help her at home.  I feel like I should go down there and help out but I have responsibilities here that I need to take care of as well.

I finished up the care package today.  I always send them a care package well after Christmas with stuff that I've bought or made or found used.  Or stuff I have that I think they could use better than I could.  I got her some dvds which I hope will come in handy while she's in the rehabilitation center.  I hope my siblings can come up with a dvd player for her.  I don't have anymore money to spend.  I got Daddy some dvds as well.  Steph, my sister who is doing all the work right now, gets a pair of  hand-knitted socks.  I knitted a prayer shawl for my mother...lightweight for air conditioning.  Today I got my mother a set of knitting looms.  She had expressed an interest in learning to knit a while ago and I thought this would keep her occupied while she's in care.  I got her some yarn, too.  And a book and dvd that teaches how.

I'll get it ready to mail tomorrow and will send it out priority so she'll get it by the end of the week, when she goes into care.

This is hard to do from a distance.  My sister has been really good at keeping us informed and has had the bulk of all this on her shoulders.  I just feel bad that I can't do anything and that the stress from this has exacerbated my fibromyalgia to the degree that I was in bed nearly all day yesterday.  I haven't been sleeping which makes everything worse and so I decided to do a lot of it yesterday.  I plan on doing even more today as soon as I get the laundry done.  Otherwise Tom won't have anything to wear under his uniforms.  And he seems to think underwear is important so...

Tomorrow we need to work on the outside and garden area.  There are things that have to be done even when you don't have the energy to do them.  What else can you do?

I had been knitting on a circular dishcloth pattern that was complicated but not really hard and I couldn't figure it out for some reason.  My concentration levels when I'm in stress defcon 1 are nearly non-existent so it would take me nearly all night to do just one pattern repeat (there are 7 in the dishcloth) and a lot of ripping back because I got lost.  Last night, after sleeping most of the day, I knocked out one and a half dishcloths in a few hours.  Sleep makes such a difference.

Unfortunately the dog has been barking like crazy all day so I'm not sure how much sleep I'll actually get tonight.  It's a shame they don't make sleeping pills for dogs.

But I can hear that the dryer has stopped and I have two more loads to do, plus supper to make so I'm off to finish up my chores and then crawl into bed for another Dark Shadows marathon.  For some reason, the library only gives you a 7 day loan on a complete tv series.  Hard to watch it all in a week's time and there is a waiting list so I can't renew them.  Dang.


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Time to re-train the dog

I was looking at the sad state of my store-bought dishcloths yesterday while folding clothes.  I need to dig out some patterns and knit some.  I have plenty of cotton and it would be a finished project...something I haven't seen in a while.

I was making pretty good progress on the cape when I broke my circular needle.  The very first one I've ever broken.  Ever.  I was pulling to move the fabric along and pulled too hard.  Fortunately I have plenty size 8 circulars so I was able to transfer to another set.  I'm being less aggressive on this one.

Still not much sleep so not much of anything else getting done either.  With the windows open at night, Professor is distracted by everything going on out there.  I hope this eases off soon because I can't go through this all summer. Not to mention all the trips outside to wee. I think from now on I'll have to start ignoring him at night and just clean up his puppy pads in the morning.  He's been training me to get up with him at night and that has to stop.  I know he can go long enough to last the night.

I've got another load in the dryer waiting to be folded and then a few days off for the laundry.  But I have plenty of other things I need to do, including the kitchen.  It needs a major cleaning so I can get back to cooking from scratch.  Heck, I just need to get back to cooking.  I'm so tired all the time, I just throw something together.  I'm getting tired of it so I know everyone else is, too.  I miss meals that are thought out.

Also I need to get the weed whacker out and tackle the trimming.  I have a good crop of dandelions in my rose bed, taller than the roses.  I didn't know they grew waist high.  I need to weed around my hostas, too.  I also need to divide one set because they're too crowded.  Not sure if I should do that while they're growing though.  I'll have to look it up.

My mother is suffering from some memory problems right now, in part due to her medication.  She needs aggressive treatment of her kidney disease but the aggressive meds are making her completely confused so they've cut back.   Now she's mildly confused.  I feel for my sister and my dad who have to deal with it on a daily basis.  I don't know if we can afford to go down there this summer but I will try.  I talked to her the day before Mother's Day while she and Daddy and my younger sister were at my older sister's.  She had the right voice, but the conversation seemed alien.  We talked about gardening but she wouldn't let me change the subject from that and focused on seeds and nothing but seeds.  I'm hoping the medication helps so she can get off of it, but my younger sister said she's been having some memory problems without it so...

Makes me want to focus on my own health so I can be independent for as long as possible.  But until I get some sleep, I don't know how I'll have the energy to do that, because it does take an enormous amount of energy to get and stay healthy.

Well, off to make supper and then to bed.  I'll get the laundry tomorrow.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

All in all a pretty good day.  Sleep would have been a nice gift but that didn't happen.  I shut the windows hoping Professor would sleep through the night but he woke me up every hour wanting outside to wee or some other nefarious plan.  I was nearly in tears by morning.  Tom woke up and took care of him for a while so I probably got 2 hours in a row, but he went back upstairs and Professor barked at me until I finally got up and let him out.  Twice more.

We went to Pizza Hut for lunch.  I really preferred a restaurant but this was cheaper and we ended up getting a free medium pizza because they got our order wrong so that was nice.

Now I'm thinking of going back to bed except if I do I won't sleep tonight.  But since I probably won't sleep tonight anyway, what have I got to lose?

My mother is in New York with both my sisters this weekend so I talked to her yesterday instead.  She's having some health problems right now which are worrying but there's not much I can do about it.  She's been on my mind all weekend.

I don't have to fix supper tonight thanks to the extra pizza so I think I will pop off for a nap.  I'll probably only get a few minutes in before Professor finds something to bark at, but what the heck.


Thursday, May 10, 2012

I feel almost normal

I tackled my room last night, working up until about 10 p.m. and ended up with a clean room, although there is still much that could be done with it.  I changed the bedding out to my new stuff and it looks much better in there.  The pets love it, too, because it feels so smooth and silky.  Definitely would be nice to sleep on if I would be able to sleep. 

Last night I had the windows open because it was warm so Professor responded to everything, every hour.  And this morning I got woke up by a telemarketer that I have told many times to take us off his list.  I got growly this time and insisted and then hung up on him.  We're on the no-call list so I don't know what my options are if they keep calling.  How do I prove I already told them to take us off the list?

But in spite of no sleep last night, I have been bustling about cleaning the dining room, including de-cluttering the desk and hutch.  You can actually see flat surfaces now.  Amazing.  Still haven't found the extra set of car keys though.  Darn it.

I still have to vacuum but that's all I plan on doing in here tonight.  Tomorrow the kitchen.  Which might take two days with my energy levels.

I'm also doing laundry so lots of up and down stairs.  I have two loads to go and I think I'll put the rest off for a few days.  Ideally I'd like to hang them out but they get so linty in the washer.  Maybe run them through for a few minutes and then hang them out.

I'm also going to color my hair again because my new glasses should be in tomorrow.  I hope.  They didn't call today but I'm hoping they do some time tomorrow.  I read an article about older women wearing their hair longer (my mother thinks I should cut it short, short because I'm an older woman now...but she's always wanted my hair short, short ever since I was a little girl and I've always wanted it long, long,) and it said that we shouldn't use harsh hair colors once we reach a certain age...which I have.  So I'm going back to semi-permanent.  I love the colors better anyway.  It eventually washes out and isn't harsh on my hair.  My hair is halfway down my back now but it's wispy thin so I use very small foam curlers to give me volume and bounce.  But it does shorten my hair to just past my shoulder blades.  Which is okay.  I don't mind.  It's still long and that's what's important.

I managed to knit for a spell on the cape.  For now mindless knitting is all I can handle but I do want to get back to my more complex patterns before I lose my place.  And interest. 

But now I need to get back to fixing supper and get the laundry folded before the next load is done.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Early Mother's Day gift to me

Monday night was the night from hell for me concerning sleep.  It wasn't that I couldn't have slept; it's that something happened that upset me so much I was physically sick from it and was up all night, heart-pounding and shaking from both fear and anger.  Thankfully it resolved early next day but it's hard for me to put things aside that are unresolved, especially when I am dismissed without the opportunity to plead my case.

I learned from that night, though. Filed away in my brain and my heart, those lessons learned.

As a result, yesterday was equally miserable.  I slept for a few hours before waking up to go vote in the primary for our recall election.  Then I had errands to run and just grabbed a store brand pizza for the toaster oven for supper.  I slept a few hours, woke up for a few and slept again.  Then Tom came home from work and I was up for another couple of hours.  I ended up waking up at 1 p.m. today.

I was going to stay home but the library called and I had Medium, season 2 in so I went to pick it up.  Then I decided to pick out my Mother's Day gift, went ahead and bought it so I could use it now.  I decided on a new set for my bed.  Instead of turning it back into a living room again, I chose a new comforter and sheets because the set I had was originally Tom's Father's Day gift from long ago, was decidedly masculine and dark.  My bedroom/living room is one of the darkest in the house so a dark bed just adds to it.

I decided on a raspberry colored comforter with gray and white leafy patterns on it.  I didn't want anything too starkly light so this is a good compromise.  Zach wanted me to pick a blue striped one but I hate stripes and blue isn't my favorite color.

Now I need to tackle my bedroom and put it in better shape.  It's gotten cluttered again and I can't sleep well with clutter so a good cleaning and hopefully I'll sleep like a log tonight.

Tomorrow I'll tackle the dining room and kitchen.  I hope.  That's only if I get some sleep.

And once I've got a smidgen of energy again, back to knitting.  I just haven't had any energy to spare on it.


Monday, May 7, 2012

Crabby Monday

Maybe if I stop worrying about not getting any sleep, I'll get some sleep.  I took two of the herbal sleeping pills last night and joy of joys! got very sleepy so I deliciously curled up under the covers, shut the tv off and immediately went to sleep.

For about 20 minutes.  I was awake until 6 a.m. before falling back asleep.

I give up.  I'll sleep when I can.  It's all I can do.

It also didn't help that Professor went ape-shit over the dogs up the street and his hysterical barking nearly brought on a panic attack.  Being woke up from a deep sleep to hysterical chihuahua barking is worse than any siren or alarm out there.

Plus the phone rang and woke me up, too.

So I decided instead of cleaning today I would run errands.  Besides, I decided on tacos for supper tonight and needed some of the fixings.

I was going to do laundry today but I'm too tired for that.  I have some dry clothes in the dryer I can bring up and maybe start another load but I'm not running up and down the steep basement stairs today.  What I am doing is fixing supper, cleaning up the dishes and crawling into bed with the lights off.  If I fall asleep at 8 p.m. then I do.  If I only sleep until midnight, then I'll just get up and get stuff done instead of lying in bed hoping sleep comes again.  Which it won't.  Until the sun comes up.

And tomorrow I'm tackling both mine and Zach's bedrooms.  Maybe starting with clean, uncluttered rooms will make sleeping better.  Feng shui or something.

And hopefully work outdoors tomorrow mowing and trimming.  If I get some sleep.  The neighbor got to the yard before we could today and mowed way into our yard again, cutting the grass so short at the curb that he's almost permanently killed off all the grass.  Tom won't say anything to him because he thinks the guy is just being a good neighbor.  I disagree.  I think he thinks our yard is his.  This is the guy who parks next to the fire hydrant every day and night so I think he's not terribly concerned about property lines.

But as I'm very crabby today, I'm not going to make an issue of it.  Tom thinks I'm being too critical and should just stop complaining.  If I don't like it, I should get out there and mow before the neighbor does.  But it's rained the past several days and this was the first dry day but I had errands to run first so...  Odd how it's my fault if the neighbor mows into our yard.  Not his.

So crabby me will start supper here in a few, grab the laundry out of the dryer and then go to bed.  My no-good mood will get me into trouble if I don't.


Saturday, May 5, 2012

Time for time alone

Although I'm feeling a bit perkier, I'm not necessarily feeling perky.  Still, I don't feel like I'm walking through mud right now so that's a huge plus.  I am, however, still having trouble sleeping, getting to sleep and staying there.  I ignored Professor this morning and slept in until 1 p.m.  He got over it.

I've been working on the cape I'm knitting because it's mindless knitting in a round on circular needles and requires no thought whatsoever.  My kind of knitting right now. 

I finished up the first season of Medium, ordered the second season from the library and then decided to look for Dark Shadows while I was on the site.  For some reason, a couple of the libraries loan out tv series by the disk instead of by the season, which makes it nearly impossible to guess if you'll get them in order or have to wait for them.  Since DS seems to be popular, I wasn't going that route.  I did find one copy of the first season but the description sounded like it was one of the later seasons.  I'll just have to risk it. I remember rushing home from school to watch it, missing the first few minutes every day because it came on just as we were getting out of school.  It took about 5 minutes to get home so I never saw the beginning.

I had intended to do a lot of reading today but as I got up almost in time to fix Tom's supper, and since I really could go back to bed now, I'll not get as much reading done as I had hoped.  Maybe tomorrow.  I'm going to head out as soon as he gets home because I just need some time alone.  I haven't had any for weeks.

I got my glasses on order yesterday.  Went to a optometrist instead of a vision center and got a much better deal.  My vision had changed significantly, especially the far vision in my right eye, which accounted for those moments of feeling like my glasses were on crooked.  I probably wouldn't have passed a driver's eye test in my right eye, but my left really hadn't changed at all.  Which is good since my left eye is the worse one.  I'm legally blind in both eyes if I don't use my glasses, but why on earth would I go without them?  

The new glasses are more modern than my old lady glasses I presently have.  They only have half a frame on top and the metal is fairly dark.  And while they cost more than my present pair (three years have passed, you know) the whole package of exam, dilation and glasses cost less than it did at the vision center 3 years ago.  Plus I got a warranty for a year on the lenses.  Just in case.  Won't use a vision center anymore, for sure.

Well, Tom's supper just dinged so I might as well leave now.  He can dish up his own food and I really would like to get away for a while.  So I'll pack up some sodas and a book or two and head off to my favorite parking lot to read for a while.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

A brighter day

This is the first morning in a long, long time I actually felt like getting up.  I'm not "rested" but I'm not dragging with the debilitating fatigue I have become so used to.  I may actually accomplish some things today although I have banking to do later.  Doesn't mean I'm bouncing off the walls but I do think I can cook tonight and run the vacuum and get rid of some clutter.  And exercise a bit.  I'm hoping to build on that so I can make it a regular part of my day.

I'm making progress on the cape I'm knitting but the other stuff requires some concentration and I just can't do that with the fatigue I've been feeling lately.  Maybe tonight I'll get back to the mittens and the Tree of Life afghan.  The flower garden part of it hurts my hands because of the stitches used in it but I'm more than halfway through that so I should get done with that soon enough.

We're having some very warm temps today but they will slip back into the 60s later in the week.  Still, it's nice to have them.  I have the windows open but that may change if it storms later, as predicted.  We didn't get the violent thunderstorm that was predicted yesterday, thankfully, so I'm hoping we won't get anything today either.  I need the weather to be dry for a while so I can till the garden. 

Well, I need to get my day started, as late as it is, so I'd better get dressed and get moving.