The weather has been perfect for working outdoors...cloudy and cool. But I'm battling a headache and depression together and can barely get off the couch. I really, really hate depression. And I can't take anti-depressants so I'm stuck with trying to pull myself out of this pit of despair all by myself. Therapy costs money and with our insurance it will go on the enormous deductible first. I do well to get them to pay for my mammograms. Which is due this month, along with my annual surgeon's appointment.
If I could just forgive myself and allow the wave to pass over, it would indeed pass, but I feel like I'm shortchanging Tom who works incredible hours without taking time off to be ill. And I feel like there are things that need to be done at home or I'm not living up to my share of the burdens.
What I really want is a vacation from stress. I would like time away from my responsibilities for once. That is something Tom does get from time to time. Me? Never. Where would I go? Down home to visit family? Not a vacation from stress for sure.
No, my idea of a vacation is to stay home and everyone else leave. Oh, and personal servers, too.
But that's never going to happen so I'm going to try to ride this wave of depression out and hope I can get in better shape for the next one.
I did knit some can cozies last night, having had to make up my own pattern because I couldn't find one I liked. I'll write it up and make a separate entry for it, along with pictures by the end of the week. Free, of course. And amazingly simple. Has to be if I designed it. I get tired of puddles of water under my soda can in hot weather. Not that we're having hot weather now, but it will show up again.
Today I worked on fixing a mistake on the blue and white boucle baby blanket because I accidentally knit a row that should have been purled and with boucle, tinking or ripping back is sheer torture so I fixed each stitch individually by dropping back to the row and using a crochet hook. To be honest, it took less time than it would have if I had ripped back. I must remind myself how much I hate boucle next time I try to work with it. Oh, and I found some brown boucle in one of the end tables, a shawl that never got finished. And may never get finished.
Tonight I might work on the bathroom curtain although it doesn't look like the bathroom will be painted any time soon. Damn depression and fatigue.
Well, off to McSnacky's for supper. It hurts my head to bend over and since I'm being such a baby anyway, I'll just let someone else cook tonight.
TTFN
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