Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dr. Suess said it best

The sun did not shine; it was too wet to play so we sat in the house all that cold, cold wet day. The weather forecasters were rotten lying liars. So it's a good thing I didn't hang my clothes outside yesterday in freezing weather. Unfortunately they're still in the basket waiting to be washed.

I just can't warm up today. I've got the thermostat on 60F like always but my internal thermostat is sitting on 39F and not rising. I'll take a shower later in order to prepare for church tomorrow but in the meantime...I'm cold. I went to the library because I had some things come in and if I wait too long, they go back but I never managed to warm up even in the car.

I'm thinking of taking a hot water bottle to bed and just read under my throw until I warm up. By which time I'll have to come out of the warm place and get cold again.

Tom's paycheck is down about $16 a month because our insurance went up. Property taxes went up over $200 this year. Our water bill is going up because they're adding fire protection on other words we now have to pay for the fire department separate from our other taxes. Before long we'll have police protection added to that and then just what the heck are those taxes paying for?

And the pay doesn't go up. Two years running at 15% below what was already about 20% under what it should have been due to miniscule pay raises in the past.

I've been mentally planning the garden. I'm planning on things that will freeze well, like corn, green peppers, onions, green beans, carrots and peas. Things that I will be able to can, like tomatoes for spaghetti sauce. Tobacco so Tom can process his own cigarettes. Salad fixings for the summer. And of course, zucchini and pumpkins and potatoes. I may have some other things that come to mind later but these are the staples. Things like broccoli and cauliflower take up a lot of room and aren't terribly expensive so those we'll just buy in the store.

I'm considering which herbs to grow as well. That's not as clear to me yet since I'm not sure what I want to do with herbs. I've not used herbs a lot in cooking so by growing my own I'm likely to overstock. I don't want to invest in a lot of equipment like dehydrators, which are expensive and cost electricity to use so I have to consider that, too.

Soap making and candle making intrigue me. I might look into that but I'm not sure what to do with all the excess. I'm not keen on internet sales based on watching others' experiences with fraud and ruined reputations by mischief makers...not to mention our paypal account was hacked to the tune of about $10,000, which was resolved to our satisfaction. So no paypal for us.

I've thought about flea markets, which mean I would spend the year making and gathering stuff to sell, hoping that I gambled right on what is selling and got the prices right. I'm so naive when it comes to pricing and figuring out profit. I feel so inept.

And then there is my knitting. Would people pay for knitted socks? They're much more expensive that any socks you could get at StuffMart because the materials alone cost more. And you have to make some money off your labors, don't you?

I'm at the point where I need to start scheduling my time better and try to fight against this awful debilitating fatigue. The pain I can work through unless it involves something physically taxing, but the fatigue is a barrier to accomplishing things.

I want to dig my pencils and acrylics and water colors out and work on that again. If I would just stick with it, I could improve but I get to a point where I feel like I'm not going forward and I quit. I hate that about myself. Part of it is my fear of failure. That particular fear has paralyzed me most of my life. I need to figure out a way to get past that.

My hands are cold and I need to jump into my jammies and curl up in bed. Tom's eating leftovers so I don't need to cook, thankfully. And it's always good to eat up the food so it doesn't go to waste.

I think a good night's sleep will make tomorrow brighter. I'm sure of it.

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