Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Realizing my limitations

I felt a lot better today. I managed to get more sleep anyway. I do worry about my fatigue and pain since the garden this summer is critical. In some ways it makes me incredibly nervous and in other ways I'm okay with it. I have such a fear of failure that it paralyzes me. If I could be aware of my limitations and be okay with them, then maybe living within them could be more productive. Instead of curling up in a ball and shutting myself off from everything I'm afraid to try.

But Zach woke up really not feeling well. He had sharp stomach pains and could barely stand up so I gave him a hot water bottle some Pepto Bismal and had him lie on my bed on his left side with his knees drawn up to his chest. After about an hour he felt much better and is perfectly fine now.

Home remedies. Gotta know when to use them and when to go to the doctor. I did think about him not having insurance and might...just might...have thought some evil thoughts. But only briefly. If he had continued to have problems we would have gone to the doctor. Or Urgent Care anyway. I doubt his doctor would have seen him without insurance.

I ended up ordering the thing I really wanted after all. I got all four seasons of Farscape at more than half off the price. I wasn't going to but it's difficult to get them from the library and there were only 14 of them left. Down by 12 from the last time I looked. Tom was okay with it since I rarely spend money on dvds anymore. But he also knows that I won't do anything like that again for a long, long time.

We didn't make it to town today because of Zach's stomach problems and tomorrow I'm expecting a phone call but I'm going to try to get there either after the phone call or Thursday. Boston Legal is in so I'd like to get it so Tom can watch it for the weekend. I'm almost done with House, season 2 but I have 2 series of The Last Detective and Midsomer Murders, set 11 to watch. I'm still on hat 15. Sigh. I think I'm burned out a bit. I do need to get back to it but maybe 40 hats was a bit too ambitious. Maybe I should just knit the hats as I feel like it and not put a deadline on it. It seems like that's another limitation I need to pay more attention to.

Supper dishes are screaming at me. I'm most likely going back to washing by hand. They don't seem as clean and I'm always running out of dishes I need. It won't be so bad. I'll just try to keep up better.

Off to clean the kitchen and then knit on the blanket and hat.



Anonymous said...

Kathy, don't be too hard on yourself. When spring arrives it always makes people feel better and lifts their spirits. I have heard about the medical system in the US but didn't realise it was that hard to see a doctor. In Australia we have Medicare...1.5% of your taxable income then it is free to see a doctor at the hospital and some medical centres. You can go to your own doctor and only be about $20 out of pocket or sometimes nothing for children or pensioners. People still complain that the govt doesn't do enough!!!

It's funny your waiting for Spring and we are waiting for Autumn to get relief from the heat

Cheers Anne

Anonymous said...

So sorry you are having a tough time! I can not imagine what it is like to live without insurance, here in the UK we don't need insurance as everything is free. I do hope he is better soon!

Enjoy that knitting!

Kathy said...

Thanks, Anne. Normally I love winter but this one didn't make my eyes sparkle like winters gone past. LOL Still, I need to be more patient. It's not like spring will never come. It will. In its own time.

Our health care system here is seriously broken. Emergency departments can't refuse treatment but private practice doctors can and do for some of the lamest reasons. I've heard of people whose doctors "fired" them because they wouldn't get all the tests or meds the dr wanted them to be on.

We're waiting right now to hear from another insurance company for Zach since he's off ours now due to not being a full time student anymore. If we had just transitioned the insurance he was on it would have been over $400 a month. We found a cheaper policy but because of his Tourette Syndrome, they are dragging their heels and going through his entire medical record. It's frustrating.

Kathy said...

Thanks, Frugal. The debate over insurance is really divisive. Some people don't believe it is a right and don't want to pay for people they assume are lazy low-lifes who won't get their own. Not realizing that many people can't even get it due to pre-existing conditions or because it's so expensive. These same people insist that Britain's insurance isn't working and people are dying in droves from lack of care because of it. No amount of evidence will convince them otherwise.

There is a great deal of fear-mongering going on among the group that don't want health care for everyone.

Zach has had a few stomach pains today but he's feeling a lot better. I'm planning on changing the way we eat and see if that helps him.

Thanks for asking about him.

And I'm definitely enjoying the knitting! :-)