Monday, January 23, 2012

I really, really am not a morning person

Depression day again today so I haven't gotten much of anything done.  Supper and some dishes washed and that's it.  I have to hit the shower in a bit because Zach's physical is tomorrow morning.  He's so anxious about it.  Notwithstanding his fear of needles (OCD fear, not rational fear) he's anxious about what all the doctor will actually touch and what she will say to him.  He's not comfortable being touched (more OCD) and he already knows he's overweight.  I assured him the dr won't nag him about that but the big thing is, she'll take his depression seriously.  And since she's been his dr since he was 9, she knows all about the Tourette's and OCD.  So she won't treat those as non-issues, either.

Me, I'm anxious, too, but not for anything the doctor will say or do.  I'm just friggin' allergic to 8 a.m.   If I have to get up early, I don't sleep at all the night before because I'm too busy counting the hours of sleep I'm not getting.  I've tried everything except the little blue sleeping pill to get to sleep but nothing works.  And taking the little blue sleeping pill gives me a sleeping pill hangover that is worse than not getting any sleep.  So I've resigned myself to not getting much sleep and taking a nap before we head out for errands.

I got some knitting done last night but not when I first slid under the covers to watch tv.  I was achy and tired so I just turned the lights out and watched tv waiting for the tramadol to kick in.  Tom watched part of The A-Team with me (the movie) then went to bed.  I dozed off during Knit and Crochet Today but woke up before it was over so I could rewind it and watch the whole thing.  Then I couldn't get back to sleep so, after tossing and turning, I just turned the light back on and picked up the sweater.  Unfortunately I chose to watch A Clockwork Orange while knitting and couldn't stop until I saw the whole movie.  It was nearly daylight before I finally got to sleep.  It was an incredible movie.  I'm not a fan of Stanley Kubrick at all but I did love this.  Although it was very disturbing.  But what's not to like about a young Malcolm McDowell.  The acting was extraordinary.

And I can't get it out of my head.  I should watch something light tonight and just not plan on knitting so I can maybe get to sleep before the sun comes up.  I hope so anyway.

The weather wasn't too bad today and I possibly could have driven up north to my dr appointment but our road was a bit slick from frozen slush so I'm guessing the side roads in Fond du Lac were the same.  They're saving money by not plowing as often or salting as often so our road has stayed pretty slick so far. 

Since supper is over and most of the dishes are done up, I'm going to hop in the shower and go to bed now, while I'm so tired.  Even if I don't sleep all the way through, at least I'll have gotten some sleep.

Damned insomnia!


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