Monday, May 21, 2012

When your mother is ill and you're far from her

I haven't disappeared from the face of the earth.  Truth is, I'm dealing with my mother's illness and the treatment that has done more harm than good, nearly killing her in the process.  Not blaming the dr.  It's just the way things turn out.  Her meds have made her weak and confused and as a result she fell.  She's on coumadin, which thins the blood and her levels at the time she fell were very low so it's a wonder she didn't bleed to death.  She's in the hospital now, receiving dialysis because the treatment wasn't working anyway and will have to go to a rehabilitation center at the end of the week when all the treatments are done.  She can't go home because there is no one to help her at home.  I feel like I should go down there and help out but I have responsibilities here that I need to take care of as well.

I finished up the care package today.  I always send them a care package well after Christmas with stuff that I've bought or made or found used.  Or stuff I have that I think they could use better than I could.  I got her some dvds which I hope will come in handy while she's in the rehabilitation center.  I hope my siblings can come up with a dvd player for her.  I don't have anymore money to spend.  I got Daddy some dvds as well.  Steph, my sister who is doing all the work right now, gets a pair of  hand-knitted socks.  I knitted a prayer shawl for my mother...lightweight for air conditioning.  Today I got my mother a set of knitting looms.  She had expressed an interest in learning to knit a while ago and I thought this would keep her occupied while she's in care.  I got her some yarn, too.  And a book and dvd that teaches how.

I'll get it ready to mail tomorrow and will send it out priority so she'll get it by the end of the week, when she goes into care.

This is hard to do from a distance.  My sister has been really good at keeping us informed and has had the bulk of all this on her shoulders.  I just feel bad that I can't do anything and that the stress from this has exacerbated my fibromyalgia to the degree that I was in bed nearly all day yesterday.  I haven't been sleeping which makes everything worse and so I decided to do a lot of it yesterday.  I plan on doing even more today as soon as I get the laundry done.  Otherwise Tom won't have anything to wear under his uniforms.  And he seems to think underwear is important so...

Tomorrow we need to work on the outside and garden area.  There are things that have to be done even when you don't have the energy to do them.  What else can you do?

I had been knitting on a circular dishcloth pattern that was complicated but not really hard and I couldn't figure it out for some reason.  My concentration levels when I'm in stress defcon 1 are nearly non-existent so it would take me nearly all night to do just one pattern repeat (there are 7 in the dishcloth) and a lot of ripping back because I got lost.  Last night, after sleeping most of the day, I knocked out one and a half dishcloths in a few hours.  Sleep makes such a difference.

Unfortunately the dog has been barking like crazy all day so I'm not sure how much sleep I'll actually get tonight.  It's a shame they don't make sleeping pills for dogs.

But I can hear that the dryer has stopped and I have two more loads to do, plus supper to make so I'm off to finish up my chores and then crawl into bed for another Dark Shadows marathon.  For some reason, the library only gives you a 7 day loan on a complete tv series.  Hard to watch it all in a week's time and there is a waiting list so I can't renew them.  Dang.


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