I need to make some changes in my life and Lent seems as good a time as any to start making them. I'm not one to make resolutions because I can never keep them. And this being my second lenten season as an Episcopalian, I've never really done the "giving up for Lent" thing. Growing up Baptist we never did anything liturgical (in fact, I hadn't even heard of the Episcopal Church growing up...everything liturgical was Catholic and we avoided anything that even hinted of liturgical because it was...shudder...Catholic) so this is all very new to me.
One thing I've decided to do is have a divorcement ceremony (private, of course) to completely separate myself from the things and people that I have been allowing to abuse me. I desperately need to divorce myself from the person who is dead-set on killing me slowly with stress and bad, evil healthless habits. Me.
Somewhere inside is a person who is fun and happy and eager to realize her potential. I just have to figure out how to get rid of the bitter, resentful angry old biddy who is keeping her locked up in a closet.
Also there are people in my life who do the same to me. Some of them I can't avoid having as a part of my life. Those I can, though, will be gone. No longer welcome. Those who can't will be symbolically divorced. They will no longer have any power over me.
I am somewhat nervous about all of this, of course, because I'm not really good on follow-through. My mother is right: I never seem to finish anything. I'm just hoping I can follow through on this. I think my life depends on it.
It's snowing again. The neighbor used the snowblower (notice how I'm not as snooty about it now as I was earlier on in the winter?) on the driveway entrance so that is a big relief. But the snowplow hasn't come through yet so it will have to be done again. We haven't gone out to shovel the sidewalks yet because it's still snowing but I do intend to get it done before nightfall so we can get to church tomorrow.
I really love my church. It's small and the parish tends toward the social security jet set but I've never been in a more loving community of people. And the way they accept my son unconditionally is amazing. Love is what it's all about, after all.
Plus, I love the Book of Common Prayer. I've always been drawn to the liturgy and while Roman Catholic isn't my cup of tea, I love the discipline and form of the Episcopal church. I guess I need that kind of discipline more than someone who is happier in a church without it. I'm so glad the choices are available out there.
I'm working on a log cabin-type blanket for the Haiti project in our church. They need baby blankets and while I don't necessarily like knitting blankets (although I might consider crocheting them) this one intrigued me and gave me a chance to use up lots of yarn. I'm using Caron Simply Soft in various colors but I think next time I will use up my Red Heart supply.
I frogged the hat for Knit4Lent. I hated it. I will figure something else out later. Still working on Supersocke and my Woolease socks.
I've been doing a lot of reading lately. In particular, Elizabeth George's Inspector Lynley mysteries. And to my delight, the wonderful Nathaniel Parker is a great voice artist. I've been listening to Artemis Fowl in the car while waiting for Zach and am thrilled with the quality of Nathaniel Parker's talents. He doesn't just read the book; he acts it out. I think I like him as well, if not better, than Jim Dale. And that's saying a lot.
The laundry monster is breathing down my neck so I must take care of him. And there is baking to be done since I'm off on a health kick. No more processed sugar or sorbitol for me so baking from scratch is the only option there. I've been sugar free for hours now and I'm doing okay.