Friday, February 22, 2013

I don't handle stress well

Talked to my mother today but she was tired from dialysis and rehab and very confused.  She kept holding the phone upside down and when Daddy did get her to hold it upright, she wasn't holding it near her ear so she didn't hear what I was saying.  I was shouting but she kept responding to a question I didn't ask.  The dementia is so hard on everyone, but my dad in particular.  He thinks he has to get her to realize that she's got it wrong.  When I was a nurses' aide we were told to correct a dementia patient once and if they didn't accept it, to go along with their delusion as long as it didn't cause problems because the agitation they experience isn't worth it.  My poor mother.

At least it looks like she will be able to stay in the nursing home though.  One of the doctors indicated on her insurance forms that she was ambulatory and able to take care of herself.  She's not so her family doctor is apparently getting it all straightened out.  I haven't heard anything more about the infection or the tumor so I don't know where she is on those conditions.  I just know that once either of those situations takes over, the dialysis stops and it's a matter of days.

I'm still working on the shawl but I have a pattern for a cape sitting on the desk that I keep looking at, longing to start, but until I finish up the pink sock and the pink shawl, I don't dare start something else.  Except maybe pairs of socks for my sister and her daughter for all the work they've been doing taking care of Mom.  I made progress on the sock last night but I'm so tired that I only knit for an hour or so before turning the lights out and going to sleep.  Last night I fell asleep before 8 and woke up around 10.  I stayed awake until around 2 a.m. and then got up at least 4 times with Professor before just staying up at 9.  It snowed last night so we've got about 4 inches with a couple more predicted.  The neighbors, bless them, have taken care of the driveway apron and the sidewalk.  We still have the driveway proper to do and the private sidewalk but Zach will take care of that.  I'll do well to fix supper:  gravy and biscuits tonight.  It's easy and I'm so tired.  I think the stress is causing it all.  Poor Tom is working unbelievable hours so I feel bad for not having the energy to just clean the house.

I think I might just stay in bed over the weekend except for cooking suppers.  Maybe that's what I needed to do instead of trying to push through the fatigue.  The pain hasn't been too bad lately although yesterday and today the cold has gotten to me and I feel very achy.  I was in bed most of the afternoon.  I just got up to fix supper and then back to bed.

Hope I get more knitting done soon.  I'm just too tired to do much these days.

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