Not a happy day

Had my annual physical today and walked out of it frustrated and nearly in tears.  My rheumatologist retired in February and there are no others in my network so my gp told me she would manage my tramadol, my pain meds.  Today, when I asked for a refill, she told me she wasn't going to manage them because she's not trained.  My rheumie herself was frustrated that the dr wouldn't take care of my fibromyalgia as well.  Now I don't know what to do.  The dr told me there is a new rheumie at the hospital but there isn't and I still don't have anyone in my network who treats that.  I'll be out of pain pills by the end of the month and even if I could find a rheumie, it would take months to get in to see one.  The thought of being in pain again makes me want to cry.  I mean, I'm already in pain even with the pills.  Without them...

I guess it's possible my cardiologist might manage them for me but I don't see him again until January.  That's a long time to go without pain pills.

She also got me to agree to various other tests since my deductible has already been met.  Not sure if I'll do all this, because the deductible isn't all of the cost.  We still have to pay the 20%...plus I haven't received the bill for the heart cath, stent and hospital stay yet.

I'll wallow in yarn today in order to console myself.  I'm not nearly close enough to finishing up my dad's sweater so I'd better knuckle under and get it done.

Or cry.  Not sure which I'll end up doing today.