Looking forward to the weekend for a change

I had an epiphany last night.  If I don't take myself seriously, no one else will either.  That's not to mean that if I do, they will, but it's just not going to happen otherwise.

So I intend to set aside time and space for the things I want to work at, things I want to get better at.  That absolutely means less time online and less time watching television.  Less time, though, not no time.  I still love to knit and can't do it without something to occupy my time.

I talked a bit about it to Tom last night.  I don't know if he gets what I need but he didn't seem adverse to it either.  

Disciplining myself will be one of the huge obstacles though.  I'm just not good at that.  Still, I need to take it seriously.  Otherwise it's never going to be more than a hobby to me.

Tonight Zach and I are tearing apart the dining room, making me a corner for my art and writing.  I've got some plastic drawer bins that I can use for that.  Right now it's housing some odds and ends of my knitting but I can find other places to store those.  I've got a card table that I can use.  It will be big enough to hold my sketch books, and resource materials and I can also use it for the easel Tom made me.  It was supposed to be portable so I could take it with me but he used stainless steel for the flat surface and it weighs about 15+ pounds empty.  It has nice storage in it but not very usable.  Still, he put a lot of effort into designing and making it so I feel like I need to use it.  I'm tempted to buy a small wooden easel or even a table top one but he would take it personally.  At least for now, I'll use it.

I'm in the process of moving my plants outside.  I think the danger of frost is past.  At least I hope so.  I've got an old table to set them on because I don't want the rabbits nibbling at them.

Hopefully next week I'll get busy on the outside.  We need to mow again and I haven't trimmed the yard yet.  I'd like to get some flowers planted out front and get rid of the junk in the back.  I won't be able to have the garden I want this year, nor will I be able to landscape in a way that makes the yard attractive.  But if I can clean up the crap, it will look tons better.  And maybe I won't feel so bad about our yard dragging down property values all around the block.

Tom is gone turkey hunting this weekend.  That's one of the reasons I'm taking this opportunity to rearrange.  It still annoys him to no end when I change anything.

I did talk to him last night about not wanting to visit his family with him.  He still doesn't get it. He says he has to invite me so I'll know I'm welcome.  I told him I already know that but when he invites me, he does it in such a way as to feel pressured to go.  I told him I didn't want to be invited anymore.  So he said he'll invite me but I should know I don't have to go.  I said, no, that was still pressure.  His mouth got tight (which is my clue to shut up) and he walked away.

He also said he doesn't understand fibromyalgia but that he tries to just work around my symptoms.  I'm not sure what that means, but I'll try to view it in a positive light.  But his family don't get it at all and think I should just get out and get over it.

Much like they do about Zach's OCD.

Well, my helper is here and it's time to move furniture.  I should be a bit sore tomorrow but since I won't have tons to do tomorrow, that will be okay.

TTFN