I didn't lie, I was merely mistaken

So vacation didn't end for me yesterday.  I had a bad night with an upset stomach and very little sleep so I decided to take another day off.  I'm dragging and have no energy.  I did manage to make a trip to the store.  I go too frequently and need to discipline myself more so I get what I need or wait until the next weekly trip.

I'm going to make it an early night tonight so I can get up earlier tomorrow.  I hope.  It's never a given that going to sleep early means I'll sleep all night.  In fact, it's almost a certainty that I'll wake up around midnight and stay awake until 4.  That seems to be the pattern.

I'm really amazed at how Tom is taking my intentions to improve my art and writing.  He seems to be taking it seriously.  I'm cautious about reading too much into this because his moods do seem to race all over the map, but it does feel like encouragement and I get so little of that.  Zach is being incredibly supportive.  I wish I felt the same amount of confidence in me that they do.

If Tom would be like this all the time, we would have a relationship.  But like a puppy, whenever he supports me or is super nice to me, I get all tail-waggy and drooly until the next time when he decides to withdraw and become Mr. Grouchy, who lets me know how everything bad in his life is my fault or how incompetent I am.  Then I slink off to the corner and whimper and wait for him to pet and praise me again.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Sigh.

I really, truly do want to end this cycle but I don't know how.

Moving on.  I have a spot on the middle of my nose from a cat claw in the middle of the night. Hannibal tends to reach out to my face and dig a claw or two into my lip mostly.  Or my nostril. I can't begin to tell you what a surprise it is to wake up like that.  But last night I almost tossed him across the room.

Cats don't fly.

Seriously, they don't.

But they do sail through the air for long distances when thrown.

And of course, I'm joking.  I've never tossed a cat and don't intend to.  But it doesn't hurt him to think I might.

I was also wrong about Once Upon a Time in Mexico.  It was a great movie.  I don't understand why I rarely agree with the critics but I thought it was a great movie.  In its genre, that is.  I loved the subtle humor (and not-so-subtle humor) and the ludicrous action scenes.  Which were intentional.  So I'm glad I plodded through and watched the whole series.  It pays to finish what I start after all.

But unless I can get the set for dirt cheap or in the $5 rack, I'll have to rely on the library.

I've also decided to give up on the Gaelic languages.  Even though I would love to learn them, at least for now, I'm not going to work on them.  But I will pick up my Spanish textbook again and use the Spanish stations on tv and the movies at the library to help me pick it up.  But it's also not a huge focus right now so I'm just going to work on it in passing.

Art and writing come first.

I've been watching Paranormal State and Ghost Hunters online (and on Demand) lately.  I'm still skeptical but some of it is pretty compelling.  I don't know what to believe.  I've neglected my spiritual life for quite a while, just going through the motions mostly, because my levels of concentration are so limiting.  I don't plan on jumping into everything full speed ahead but I'm hoping to build up my brain cells with creativity and hope that will "exercise" my brain.

In the meantime, I muddle through, hoping I can at least maintain what few brain cells I've already got.

But for now, I'm going to lie down again and maybe even take a nap.  Tom is doing the cooking tonight for him and Zach.  I got soup for myself since my stomach is still upset.  Maybe it just needs a rest like my other body parts.

Happy Memorial Day!