Where did my sleep go?

Another wasted day.  I got to sleep about 5 a.m. and woke up at 10:30.  Needless to say we didn't make it to church today.  The problem isn't getting to sleep initially.  It's going back to sleep after I inevitably wake up half an hour into the sleep cycle.

Worrying about it only makes it worse, though, so I've just got to ride it out.  Like always.

And spend days feeling like I'm living in a fog.  No brain.  No energy.

I finished the Stephen King biography.  It was very interesting in light of his book On Writing, which is more or less an autobiography of sorts.  Not many discrepancies between them but it's always good to read more than one perspective on a person. 

I started Assassin's Apprentice but it's hard to get into for me.  Not because it's not intriguing, but because I'm shifting from non-fiction to fiction.  And it always takes me a bit to adjust to the difference.

This month's theme on John Howe's site is Illumination.  I've no idea what I could draw that would illustrate that, but I've been giving it a lot of thought.  The problem being, of course, that I have to draw it and draw it well.  I'm not sure a pencil sketch would work for a theme like this but I'm not that good with colored pencils or acrylics at this stage.  And water colors?  I just don't get them at all.

I think I'm going to make up the bed now and shut down for the night.  I'm not even going to knit.  Maybe if I just relax for a while before sleep, I'll actually stay there once I get there.  At any rate, I probably shouldn't have had that peanut butter sandwich just a few minutes ago. My stomach doesn't love it and I'll end up sleeping sitting straight up most of the night.

Why do I do these things to myself?

I still need to discipline myself more on the art aspect and I do think I would like to set aside some time for writing as well.  I'm just so much of a drifter though.  I can't seem to focus on one thing and do it well.  I spend most of my time worrying about how I can't do things.

On the plus side, Professor seems to be doing better.  I did some research in the wee hours the other morning when he was having a rough night with pain.  The NSAIDs that the vet gave him have a moderate risk of liver damage and he was supposed to have had a blood test initially.  The vet told me that aspirin was bad for dogs but the sites I saw, from other vets, said aspirin was preferred to the NSAIDs because of the risk of liver damage.  I'm giving him half a baby aspirin twice a day and he's feeling much better.  He's using the leg more now and isn't as touchy.  I also plan on strengthening his leg with mild exercise and getting rid of the weight he gained while he was lame.  I know what to look for as far as side effects from the aspirin and will discontinue if he gets any.

He's been friskier today as well.  I know chronic pain and how it can make you feel so I'm on his side.

On the frugal front, I finally managed to bring the check book up to date and it's scary.  The cushion is gone and we're down to living on the reduced income.  We are fortunate that we don't have to drive to school or pay for heat so I'm hoping I can get some money in savings.  I just need to work on the weekly expenses.  Everything else is pretty much carved in stone.  I've just got to put more effort into cutting back on food costs and doing without the extras.

Zach has had his hours cut as well and is only working one day a week.  I'm hoping that's temporary.  I told him today he might have to pay for gas expenses next year.  I don't know if we will be able to afford it.  If we're still at 15%  pay cut next winter will be brutal.  And 55 degrees will be a luxury.

And of course, all of this doesn't help me sleep at night.

Well, off to make up the bed and hope for sleep tonight.

TTFN