Still wading through the fatigue pond

I'm still wading through the fatigue.  I haven't accomplished anything since Monday except for getting some labs done so I can refill my Crestor (and apparently get put on another medicine as well if she will give it to me without me having to come into the office.)  I've mostly taken naps and laid around drawing or knitting.  And darned little of both.

I think part of the reason is I'm not getting a lot of sleep.  Less than 6 hours every night.  I'd love to get more but I keep getting woke up and can't get back to sleep so I'm up until 4 a.m. or so.  I gave up trying to force it.  I just wait it out.  

I took Professor for a walk yesterday and I think it was too much for him.  I carried him the last quarter block but he didn't walk on the leg the rest of the day.  Today, however, he's been on it more than he has been.  I bought him some Glucosamine for pets today.  I hope he'll take it.  I'll grind it up in his food if I have to though.

My uncle died this morning.  I never knew him very well, but he was a very nice, giving man. He had an aortic aneurysm and after a 5.5 hour surgery he just passed away.  My aunt is a very strong woman so I know she'll be okay but it will be lonely for her.  She had a heart attack last summer and survived it.  I know she can survive this.

It makes me more aware of my mortality though.  I know I need to lose weight.  I just can't seem to do it.  It's not as easy as just eating less and exercising more.  For some of us, food means more than just avoiding hunger.  And nothing anyone says can convince some people out there that it's not a matter of will power.  If that were the case, I would be thin again.  I quit smoking and that involved a huge amount of will power.

I will not diet again though.  That has never worked so what is the point of trying it over and over again.  I would probably weigh a whole lot less if I had never dieted since I only started gaining when I started dieting.

I'm making progress with my drawing.  Slow progress, but progress nonetheless.  I need to start keeping some reference materials and photos so I have something to draw.  I'm not good at drawing from my imagination and have found that most artists base their work on things they've seen in real life.  I don't feel so inadequate now.  I bought some pastels but don't feel ready for them yet.  I've drawn with colored pencils before but don't have a huge selection to choose from so my colors tend to be very basic...much like something you'd hang on your refrigerator.

Off to clean the kitchen up a bit and fix supper.  Then it's on the couch and knitting for the rest of the night.

TTFN