Thursday...still got nothin'

I have got to shake this fatigue and get busy. This house isn't going to get itself ready for winter and I won't have a garden next year unless I do something about it. I think next week Zach and I are going to go rent a roto-tiller and tear up most of the back yard. I'll have time to fence it in and hopefully the leaves from fall and whatever compost I can make between now and next spring will help with the clay they call soil up here in Wisconsin.

I'm really tired of getting nothing done. I'm tired of feeling like a burden on Tom. We need to become more independent financially and since I still don't know what Zach's schedule will be and the fact that all I can hope for it minimum wage even if I could get a job, I don't know that it's worth it to leave home for that kind of money when our expenses would go up as a result of me working outside the home. Such as gas, convenience foods, extra wardrobe, etc.

I need to find a way to make money from home. I've thought about free-lancing in some capacity but I'm not sure what that would be. I could try to sell things. My sister-in-law has a flea market and has offered to sell some of my stuff. Which makes me feel guilty since I really don't like to hang around Tom's family because of the way they make me feel. I know it's their culture and the way they were raised, but I don't like being made fun of or have my lifestyle criticized so everyone can be entertained. But we'll see. Money is money, after all.

I'm resolving to spend less time online as well. I'm just letting this take over my life. It's an escape, a way to avoid thinking about things that bother me or having to face tasks that I really don't want to do. It's time I grew up, though, and got busy.

I'm going to take that purse apart and start making grocery bags. I think those would sell and it's my own pattern so I'm not in danger of crossing that gray line that some people see in such black and while terms: selling things from patterns you have already paid for. Not going there. Nope.

Tomorrow we're going to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and then that's it for luxuries for a while. Zach had to fix his laptop today. Fortunately he was able to with the help of a tech from Dell. Just exactly what he may be doing in the future. One more semester to go.

Tonight we start tearing the house apart and getting things ready for the thrift store. We're rearranging Zach's room because he can barely walk around in there. There is a huge waterfall dresser in there that takes up a huge amount of room and you can't open the drawers if the humidity is high. I'm switching him to some plastic drawers I bought for my yarn storage. I'll move the dresser to the basement and store my yarn in it. Tonight he's going to go through all his clothes and pare down to what he actually will wear and get rid of the stuff he won't.

I'm seriously thinking about turning the living room into a bedroom again. Possibly with a full size bed instead of the couch. Figuring out what to do with the couch is a problem though as there is no room in the dining room for it unless I move the dining table back to the basement. Tom loves having a dining table even though no one actually uses it. And if I move the couch into the dining room, should I move the good tv in there? I'm the one who uses the cable box more than anyone else and I probably wouldn't use it if it were in the dining room. So I'm inclined to be selfish (add to that the fact that moving the entertainment center is a huge pain) and keep the cable box and big tv. It's not like Tom couldn't watch tv in my room if he wanted to. And that would free him up on the weekends to sleep on the couch and not worry about me not being able to sit anywhere in the house aside from the computer chair.

I don't mind having a small house. I just wish I had my own room.

Well, off to get things done. I'm going to go through my cookbooks this weekend and find meat-less meals to help with the food budget, too. Hopefully working on healthier eating and being more active will help increase my energy levels. And I have to get off this sugar kick. It's not good for my blood levels and it's like a drug. I can't seem to get enough!

TTFN