Still so tired

Saturday and Sunday weren't that great.  Didn't make it to church because I was up until 5 a.m.  Along with everyone else in the family.  Both Tom and Zach couldn't sleep either.  I got sleep last night but I'm still dragging.  I haven't gotten a whole lot done today.  Some laundry, some vacuuming.  Baked a roast.  That's about it.  I need to get some ironing done before the clothes need to be washed again because of the dust and pet hair.

I got a bit of work done on the drawing.  I'm focusing more on technique than any particular picture.  I'm learning more what I'm doing wrong than how to do things right.  But that's good because I can correct it.  Before I just kept trying to make it work without figuring out how better to do it.  

I've had a few ideas about writing but so far haven't had the energy to actually put anything down on paper.  I fell asleep two nights in a row while trying to write in my journal.  Getting to sleep isn't my problem, it seems.  Staying there is.

I keep wanting to re-invent myself but I don't seem to have the wherewithall to do it.  How do people change?  I'd sure like to figure that one out.  I know I tend to want to change everything at once and not do things incrementally.  It seems like it takes too long to do it one step at a time.   

Maybe I should work on patience before I work on anything else.

I printed out a couple of crocheted shawl patterns today.  I'm going to start one tonight.  I haven't done any real crocheting in years and have forgotten a lot of what I used to know.  I'm also going to study up on herbs.  I want an herb garden but I'm not sure how best to do it.  I've got some books on order from the library.

I'm also looking into druidism again.  I'm still drawn there.  Spiritually I'm still pretty empty and need to find something to fill in that hole, but I'm not going to use this blog for that journey.  I might start up my old blog again or I might just write in my journal.  I still love my church and there are parts of it that still retain meaning for me, but it's just so hard to go through the motions when I don't believe in all of it anymore.  I'm fortunate that this church isn't that concerned about how much or how little of the Nicene Creed I have to believe.

It rained today so I didn't get any yard work done.  I need to get the sunflowers planted and the onions.  The squash can wait a while, until Zach and I get the garden turned.  We're going to do it with shovels and hoes and only do a bit this year and a bit next year.  I'm still pondering putting the herbs in the ground or using one of the many pots I've got around here.  I still need to identify what is growing in the pots I've already planted.

Tom fixed part of the roof yesterday.  The addition that the former owners slapped together was leaking and he fixed that.  No leaks this morning.  I think the upstairs is more the rain coming in under the shingles rather than a leak because it's rained several times since the last waterfall and not a drop of water in the bucket.  That's good news, but we still need to look into it.

Well, supper is ready and the clothes in the dryer are done.  I'm ready to go back to be to be honest.  I'm that tired.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better and get more done.

TTFN