I didn't post yesterday because I was trying to survive one dose of Cymbalta for my depression/anxiety attacks/fibromyalgia. I will not take a second pill. Nope. Initially I got a headache a couple of hours after taking my first dose with a very inconvenient attack of diarrhea, followed by a plummet into despair and abject hopelessness. By evening I was writhing in pain from 2 days of no pain pills (I had to make sure the tramadol was out of my system before I took the Cymbalta), depressed to the point of tears with a touch of anxiety and a determination to survive this dosage and throw the pills out come morning.
I didn't throw the pills away...yet...and I'm still a bit down although my mood is lifting, but the headache is still there. I'm hoping it goes away soon. I checked the half-life of Cymbalta online at their website so by tonight I will have little enough of it in my system to be able to take a tramadol.
And that's the last time I mess with my treatment of fibromyalgia. I'll work on the depression in a more holistic, natural way but I will never, ever take another anti-depressant again. Ever.
We took the car into the shop this morning so they can replace the headlights and we'll be able to drive at night again. Tom will start driving the car because gas is nearly $4 a gallon and I'll keep the truck for my jaunts into town, which will hopefully become less frequent...unless Zach gets a job. They called an hour ago to ask how many lamps we wanted changing so I'm kind of hoping the car will be done before Tom goes to work, but as we didn't get it there very early I'm not counting on it. It's across town but with my aching bones and muscles I don't want to try to walk that far in case I can't go further. It would be uphill all the way home. And I mean a steep uphill walk.
I tried to knit and spin a bit last night, thinking that would distract me from the pain and despair but it didn't work so I got nothing much done except for watching Ghost Hunters (boring) and Paranormal: Fact or Fiction (not much better.) A couple of documentaries but as I was distracted, I don't even remember which ones. Except for one about a little girl in Italy who had been perfectly embalmed and these scientists' efforts to keep her from deteriorating.
This morning Professor started barking while he was on the couch, looking out the window so I looked up and there was a crow chasing a squirrel around our tree. Around and around. I love crows for some reason but I wasn't going to watch carnage in my front yard so I raced outside with Professor, put him on his leash and then took him and the leash to the tree. The crow barely moved out of Professor's way but when he saw we were going to stay out, moved across the street to another tree. After Professor marked the tree, we went back inside, but as soon as I closed the door, the crow came back after the squirrel, who by this time was higher up in the tree. I stayed below the tree until the crow went back across the street and then went indoors again. I watched for a while through the window but then got distracted for a moment. When I looked back the crow was gone. I have no idea if the squirrel left the tree or not, but I'm pretty sure the crow didn't get the squirrel. At least not in my yard.
I've never seen a crow do that before. I thought they were scavengers and I would think a squirrel would be too big for them to carry off. I'm planning on looking it up later.
The pain is really bothering me so I'm going to go lie down again. I didn't sleep much last night between the writhing and Hannibal digging at my face for some reason and had to get up to pick Tom up at the mechanic's. One thing I've learned from this is that I really do have pain. I know that sounds bizarre, but I keep thinking that most people with fibromyalgia have it much worse than me, that I'm a wimp for not doing/being more and even wondering if I needed the tramadol. The answer to that is hell, yes! I'm in pain and need the tramadol. Zach went to hug me last night and it hurt so bad. I felt sorry for him because he was trying to be helpful but squeezing me around my shoulders was really painful. I won't underestimate my pain again.
TTFN
I didn't throw the pills away...yet...and I'm still a bit down although my mood is lifting, but the headache is still there. I'm hoping it goes away soon. I checked the half-life of Cymbalta online at their website so by tonight I will have little enough of it in my system to be able to take a tramadol.
And that's the last time I mess with my treatment of fibromyalgia. I'll work on the depression in a more holistic, natural way but I will never, ever take another anti-depressant again. Ever.
We took the car into the shop this morning so they can replace the headlights and we'll be able to drive at night again. Tom will start driving the car because gas is nearly $4 a gallon and I'll keep the truck for my jaunts into town, which will hopefully become less frequent...unless Zach gets a job. They called an hour ago to ask how many lamps we wanted changing so I'm kind of hoping the car will be done before Tom goes to work, but as we didn't get it there very early I'm not counting on it. It's across town but with my aching bones and muscles I don't want to try to walk that far in case I can't go further. It would be uphill all the way home. And I mean a steep uphill walk.
I tried to knit and spin a bit last night, thinking that would distract me from the pain and despair but it didn't work so I got nothing much done except for watching Ghost Hunters (boring) and Paranormal: Fact or Fiction (not much better.) A couple of documentaries but as I was distracted, I don't even remember which ones. Except for one about a little girl in Italy who had been perfectly embalmed and these scientists' efforts to keep her from deteriorating.
This morning Professor started barking while he was on the couch, looking out the window so I looked up and there was a crow chasing a squirrel around our tree. Around and around. I love crows for some reason but I wasn't going to watch carnage in my front yard so I raced outside with Professor, put him on his leash and then took him and the leash to the tree. The crow barely moved out of Professor's way but when he saw we were going to stay out, moved across the street to another tree. After Professor marked the tree, we went back inside, but as soon as I closed the door, the crow came back after the squirrel, who by this time was higher up in the tree. I stayed below the tree until the crow went back across the street and then went indoors again. I watched for a while through the window but then got distracted for a moment. When I looked back the crow was gone. I have no idea if the squirrel left the tree or not, but I'm pretty sure the crow didn't get the squirrel. At least not in my yard.
I've never seen a crow do that before. I thought they were scavengers and I would think a squirrel would be too big for them to carry off. I'm planning on looking it up later.
The pain is really bothering me so I'm going to go lie down again. I didn't sleep much last night between the writhing and Hannibal digging at my face for some reason and had to get up to pick Tom up at the mechanic's. One thing I've learned from this is that I really do have pain. I know that sounds bizarre, but I keep thinking that most people with fibromyalgia have it much worse than me, that I'm a wimp for not doing/being more and even wondering if I needed the tramadol. The answer to that is hell, yes! I'm in pain and need the tramadol. Zach went to hug me last night and it hurt so bad. I felt sorry for him because he was trying to be helpful but squeezing me around my shoulders was really painful. I won't underestimate my pain again.
TTFN
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