Hope the duct tape holds

Well, crap!  The insurance company won't pay for the bras or the prosthesis (they'll instead stick it on my deductible that is so high we can never meet it in the course of a year.)  Which means I won't be getting a new prosthesis or new mastectomy bras.  The cost is $400 and that is so far out of reach I can't even see it.  I'm trying to figure out how to pay the first installment of the taxes in January.  No way I can find a way for afford that.

I've got to come up with $100 a month from now until January in order to pay that first installment.  And I'm not sure how we'll come up with the money for the second part.  I hope the income tax refund will help but after that we're toast.  I don't know how we'll be able to save for the year after that.  It doesn't look like Tom will be getting his pay back up to what it was and now we're so far behind the cost of living that even if he gets 15% back we'll still be another 15% behind. 

No more eating out.  No more buying books or movies (even the $5 ones.)  And I'm not sure if we'll be able to go see Deathly Hallows when it comes out.

I hope Zach can finish up his degree and get a job soon.  That would help a little anyway.

I'll admit, I cried a little when the woman from the pharmacy called me.  Okay, not a little.  Maybe a lot.  I'll just have to hope the duct tape holds up.  And maybe I can make a cover for my present prosthesis that is a bit bigger and I can add some silicone falsies I bought and some fiberfill to make it all look bigger.  I bought another bra off the rack at StuffMart so I'll have more than one and some bra extenders because they don't have bras in my size there.  It's so discouraging.  At times I feel defeated. 

It's hot and humid today.  My hair is soaked from the sweat and I'm still depressed so I'm going to go lie down on the bed in front of the window fan and just veg out for a while before I have to start supper.  I'll learn to be okay with this.  I don't have a choice.

TTFN