The beads are back in town

I have commitment issues; I really do.  I frogged the scarf yet again because it was just a meh scarf without the beads.  But I think I'll put it in the armoir for a while and catch up on the ufos I found under my bed last night, including the mitten I started heaven knows when.  It was pretty easy to pick it back up.  I can't remember why I stuffed it under the bed.  But the cowl I was making out of my dorset homespun is frogged because it wasn't soft at all.  Very scratchy.  And to be honest, it smells like sheep still.  I need to do something with it that uses a bigger needle so it retains something of its softness.  At least I hope it will.  

I'm wondering if I'm just not a spinner.  My welsh top is pretty sturdy, more like string than yarn, but it's a sturdier yarn and it's still single, not plied yet.  I haven't done any spinning for a while.  I should get that out, too.

And I have to finish up the baby fern shawl.  I got a Doris Chan book from the library yesterday. Jan crocheted a fantastic shawl from the book and I got the crocheting urge to do one, too.  Now if I could just find my hooks.  I know I put them where I would be sure to find them. Yeah...right. Unfortunately, this means buying wool or something that could be blocked because I'm pretty sure those pineapples won't look like anything in acrylic.  Although the yarn called for is a wool/acrylic/polyester blend.  Maybe I'll try it in Woolease. Or the Plush seems heavy enough to open up the pineapples by weight alone.

We didn't get the snowfall that was predicted.  Only a couple of inches, but the accumulation at the bottom of the driveway was enough that I had to shovel a bit.  Tom thought I could just punch through but I didn't want to risk getting stuck while taking Zach to work.  And it looks like we'll make it to church finally.  I can't believe we've had so much bad luck getting there.  I really miss going to church.

I need motivation to get back to a schedule.  I've been taking it easy since Christmas, mostly because I have no energy.  But I need to focus on getting things done, finding a job (I have to talk to some people at church in order to get some references...I haven't worked in 20 years so I have no work references and I don't know anyone outside of church so I have no character references either.) Then I'll apply and see about working 10-15 hours a week.  I think that's all I can do for now.  It will help pay for the gas to school, at any rate.

I also need to focus on eating better.  I'm so far from being healthy and I can feel it with every trip up and down the basement steps and every shovelful of snow.  I don't know why I don't take better care of myself.  I talk about doing it but I never seem to have any follow-through.  I don't know what it will take to start caring about myself.

I had a lot of pain this past week although not so much last night.  Only had to take one tramadol and no tylenol, which is great for me.  I'm on my last prescription but since I rarely take all I'm allowed to take, it usually lasts two months instead of one.  Still, it takes a while to get in to see my rheumatologist so I'd better make the appointment now.  I also need to reschedule my mammogram.  I figure by the time I get the bill for it, it will be spring and I won't have the heating bills to contend with so I'll be able to afford the payments.  Plus, I should be working by then.

I have made miniscule progress on the basement.  Since I moved the dining table back upstairs I have some space to rearrange stuff so I've been stuffing garbage bags full and sorting things for the thrift store.  It will take a long time, but I'm sure as I see progress my initiative will raise its lovely head.

I wonder sometimes how some people seem to be so ambitious and then there are people like me who struggle to get out of bed each day.  Patrick Swayze was talking about his schedule while taking chemo and not being able to take pain pills because they affect his acting abilities.  What is it that makes some people work past their obstacles and others unable to?  I wish I were more ambitious.

TTFN