As the mind rambles

I'm still pretty tired but the pain is under control.

It's dark and dreary today. My kind of day actually. Or would be if the house were cleaner. It's hard for me to sit cozy when there is work to be done. And I will get it done before I cozy up under a throw and knit while watching Black Books, season 2.

Yes, it's cool enough to sit under a light throw today. Winter approaches!

I started a pair of worsted weight socks: just generic socks to wear this winter. It had been too long since I had a pair on the needles. And I plan on getting some sock yarn from Loose Ends for my birthday since I never seem to get anything for that. Well, Tom is talking about fixing the car since the starter is going out fast. I hold my breath when I try to start it and I usually can after about 5 or 6 tries. Usually. I sit in anticipation for the day when we're stuck in Fond du Lac and it won't start at all.

But you know...poker parties take precedence and since he's taking time off next weekend for my birthday, he said he would replace the starter (and the power steering pump? too much to ask?) then. All I have to do is coax the car to start a few more times.

I also started the sweater coat from the pattern I used many years ago. It's been a while since I've knitted with Red Heart and I don't think I'll ever go back after this. I picked the softest color I could find (black is like rope) and I know it will soften up after washing but it's not as pleasant as I used to find it.

And I have some Cascade 220 to do something with. And my handspun in a denim color, which might make a nice scarf, if I needed another worsted weight scarf. I guess I could make it a gift for someone. But something challenging. And narrow. I don't have a lot of it. About 8 oz.

I haven't been spinning much lately. I don't know why. Just not in the mood I guess. I should get back to it.

Zach's sweater is coming along nicely. I'm almost to the neckline, but the shawl is still sitting in the bag eyeing me pitifully for neglecting it. Maybe if I just knit a few rows a day, it will grow faster than pushing the bag into the corner and promising myself I'll knit on it tomorrow (you know...that fictional tomorrow we all fantasize about.)

I've been spending the past few days really thinking about myself and my life. I get so tired of worrying about my weight and am convinced that I never really had a weight problem until I started dieting. I haven't dieted for over a month now and I haven't gained a single pound. Before that I was gaining steadily in spite of all the feast and famine days.

I just need to get a bit more physical activity in there and with all the time I've got to sit in the car, I could walk a bit. I could take my portable cd player (yes, I'm still back in the olden days) and listen to music while I walk. I don't care to waste my audio books on walking and don't listen to music as much as I would like to so there is my opportunity.

I've just got to get the diet mentality out of my brain because I still obsess about it and that makes me binge. Seriously. On the rare day when I don't think about it, I don't snack at all.

Go figure.

I also need to banish anxiety from my vocabulary. I'm so stressing out about my upcoming physical because I haven't been taking all my meds and I know the doctor will say something about it but I need to let her know that if she will continue to prescribe high cost medications to me I won't be taking them so she needs to find affordable prescriptions.

I mean...she works for me, right? She's not the boss of me. We all know that Professor has that job.

Speaking of the little boy, he's been suffering some separation anxiety of late and is stuck like glue to me when I'm home. Generally in my arms while on the computer or in my lap or next to me while I'm watching television. If I'm in the kitchen he's in the doorway, with his face between his paws looking sadly up at me. And I never get to go to the bathroom by myself.

I know I'm gone more hours than before so I try to spend more time with him but he doesn't like it much when I knit and will try to push my current project out of my hands so I can use that hand to pet him. And he was waking me up frequently to snuggle him.

See? Totally the boss of me.

Off to turn on some lights and watch tv. I have no idea what's on anymore now that the new season is coming up and new channels are coming into our lineup.

TTFN