Really...I have a good excuse.

Honestly, it's not what you think. I haven't taken to my bed again in the depths of depression. I've actually been functioning. And at a high level. It's amazing what a little bit of sunshine can do for you.

All winter my old bedroom has been the junk room, full almost to the ceiling with stuff I didn't have the energy to find a place for. I promised Tom I would clean the room up and turn it into a study for him because he likes to read but can't unless he has absolute quiet. Plus he prefers to read at the dining table and would like to smoke while he does it. Since he smokes upstairs and I had the space, I moved the dining table up there, put my bitty 13" tv/vcr combo in there for him (complete with cable hook-up) and the old boom box. I had a rocking chair in the basement that I would love to use but since it's not comfortable, I can't sit in it for long. He, however, finds it comfy so he got that, too.

He was like a kid with a new toy and has been spending more time upstairs.

My legs were like jelly when I got done though. I must have made 30 trips up and down the stairs and hauled a few trash bags full of stuff for the thrift store, not to mention the dining table. Tom did take the top to it and the rocking chair up for me. At that stage I would have fallen.

I did leave my stash up there because I have no place to put it yet, but when I move a lot of junk out of the basement, it will go down there so Tom can move his rolltop desk out of his bedroom and put it in the study.

With separate areas like this, our marriage just might make it.

I finally made it to church yesterday. I only missed two weeks but it seemed like months. I bit my tongue to avoid making excuses. I'm trying to learn I don't have to justify that here. My old church was big on being Big Brother and wanting to know why you missed or why you couldn't participate in a function. This church, not at all. This is the joy of living out from under that yoke of fear. But freedom can be a bit frightening at first so I'm still adjusting.

I talked to the priest about starting a women's guild and she's highly enthusiastic. I want it to be primarily for fellowship but with a secondary purpose of sharing talents in the fiber arts. We have women who sew, women who knit, crochet, and embroider. I'm sure there are more talents out there as well. I'll be heading it up, getting it started. I'm a bit nervous but I've been praying about it for a while and think this is the right ministry for me. Although I would love to be on the altar guild but I don't feel like the time is right for that yet.

I'm not making a lot of headway with knitting right now. I don't really have anything going on that is driving me so it's mostly the process and not the project. Zach frogged his hat so I have 8 oz of Cascade 220 (not superwash) and I've been drooling over it and digging through my stash of books, magazines and printouts to find the right project. Nothing is coming to mind yet.

I'm going to start my Organic Cotton soon. I found a hat I like. My hair is pretty thin on top so I like to wear cloches, but I want them to look like an accessory rather than a hat to hide my head. I'm not sure I can get gauge on the yarn though so I'm not committing to it yet.

Believe it or not, we're expecting a rain/snow mixture today. I'm hoping this is that last. Tom wanted to start opening windows over the weekend. It's 40 degrees outside and he thinks it will warm the house up. I always follow him around and shut them though. I'm not ready to take the plastic off the windows just yet. Last year I took it off too soon so I'm being patient this year.

I think we will be looking for a refrigerator this weekend. We got our taxes back and we desperately need a new one. The fan went out on it a couple of years ago so we've got a tabletop fan behind it drawing the heat off the motor. This runs 24/7 and can't be good for our electric bill. Plus, our fridge is too big for the space. I want a smaller one with no bells and whistles. I just need a place to put food.

Next year, we will need to replace the stove but it's still functioning as it should for now. It's just ancient and looks bad.

Today Zach and I start our diet...again. For his sake I really need to stick with this. He's gained so much weight this winter and his health will be a concern if he doesn't lose. Plus, there was someone at church yesterday who caught his eye so he's thinking of his looks now.

And my health is a definite concern so I need to be persistent on this. I've gained back almost all I lost, which is so depressing, but I can't give in. I just can't.

Off to do tons of laundry and work on finding the basement floor.

TTFN