Sometime in the night, while turning over, I put my full weight on the knee I keep falling down on and I felt something tear in it. Fortunately it felt like it was near the surface and not in the ligaments so I'm thinking it was scar tissue because it feels a lot looser today, albeit more painful. I managed to fake it while kneeling during contrition and at the communion rail.
Church was wonderful as usual. The lesson on the Sunday before Ash Wednesday is traditionally the story of the transfiguration of Jesus. The ultimate mountain experience, as our priest stated it. She put it in a way that really spoke to me especially in light of what I'm going through emotionally. The experience for Jesus was one in which He demonstrated to His disciples just who He really was. He realized His potential in a way they could see and understand. Then she talked about how we are expected by God to realize our potential, too, in a way we can understand.
As usual, God comes through. Not in mystical, magical ways for me (although I've had some mighty timely blessings happen to me) but in very practical, meaningful ways.
Of course there are the pesky prickles showing me where I fall down and how I need to just reach up and take God's hand to get up again. Again with the forgiveness thing. It's amazing to me how I just don't seem to get that one. I'm convinced that God's insistence that we forgive others isn't for their benefit but for our mental, emotional and spiritual health. I'm sure I could get a whole lot of de-stashing done in my life if I would just learn that lesson.
I took the supersocke to church as usual and got tremendous complements from it. I had on the Monkeys so I showed them off as well. There are several women there who either knit or have in the past. We also have some terrific seamstresses as well. One woman did some delicate embroidery on altar cloths as an offering for her son who was stationed in Baghdad, in much the same vein as prayer shawls are knitted up. Stitch by stitch, prayer by prayer.
Last week while waiting for Zach, I had to go inside to sit for a while because it was -8 F outside in the car. I was working on socks, as usual, and a woman came by on her way to ballroom dance class and stopped to learn more about knitting in general and knitting socks in particular. I get a lot of stares working with those tiny needles and so many of them. It looks much more complicated than it really is.
No kidding, this is the conversation I had with Tom today. I had bought some ammonia because I always make my own cleaning solutions.
Tom: You bought ammonia.
Me: Yep.
Tom: What are you going to do with ammonia?
Me: I'm going to do some cleaning. I was out.
Tom: Ammonia is a dangerous liquid. You'd better be careful.
Me: blank stare
I've only used this stuff all my life and in the 22 years of marriage, I know he's seen me use it at least once a week. But I've learned since New Year's Eve not to respond to him so as not to escalate things.
I'm also learning to pick myself up when I fall down. Several times a day. And no, not literally. Okay not much literally. I think learning to forgive myself when I let myself down (not so good with the follow-through remember) is perhaps the biggest lesson I can learn this week.
Ailsa, thanks for the support. It's nice to know you are there for me. And thanks to the rest of you as well. I don't feel so terribly alone anymore. I've gained a bit of confidence in myself as a result.
Off to bed and to knit on the Log Cabin-ish baby blanket. It's Stargate Atlantis, season 2 tonight. I taped Masterpiece and will watch it tomorrow, along with some more Midsomer Murders.
TTFN
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