Making decisions

I changed my mind about the garden this year.  When it came time to commit I just couldn't do it.  With so little energy and the seedlings looking so pathetic, I had to decide not to follow through this year.  I've got some things in pots and will keep them there but I'm not going to shell out the money for the roto-tiller when I most likely won't get back the initial investment. 

So tomorrow I'm going to plant my flowers and herbs, put them in my fairy garden and keep up with them.  If I need to re-pot them into bigger pots, I'll deal with that when needs must.  I'm going to focus this summer on cleaning house, garage and basement, getting rid of a lot of stuff we don't need and fixing up the bathroom.

Plus it's time to stop dreaming about growing a business and start doing it.  I have been working on designs today along with some small projects.  I also plan to get busy with drawing and painting.  Who knows where my path will wend?

I do feel like a failure though, that I can't even grow plants successfully or that I don't have the energy to do my part here.  I know that feeling is defeating in itself and I am working to overcome it but to anyone out there reading who scoffs at someone with a chronic illness that causes debilitating fatigue, just hope you never have to walk an inch in our shoes. 

I started McLeod's Daughters last night (I spelled it right finally) and really like it.  But there are a lot of episodes to it so I'm watching Wallander today because it will have to go back to the library first.  And I really like Wallander.  It's going to be on the rotation for Masterpiece Mystery so I needed to catch up on it.

And I finally got around to watching Resident Evil last night.  I know my tastes in movies and books really have a bizarre range but I really liked it.  Now I have to order the other RE movies from the library.  Plus I'm really itching for the El Mariachi trilogy as well.  I love Robert Rodriguez...and Quintin Tarantino.  I know, weird tastes.

Off to work on the kitchen and make up a pot of potato/leek soup to go with the salmon patties for supper tonight.

TTFN