Misty moor sounds so much better than foggy swamp

I can barely see the house across the street today. After many weeks of temperatures in the teens (with wind chills in the single digits) we're having temps in the 40s. Lots of snow is melting and with the air warming up and releasing all that cold from the snow, fog is the inevitable result.

I mean dense fog.

And people are still driving without their lights off. I flashed mine at a few people and they just ignored me. One lady was too busy talking on her cell phone to pay attention to what was going on with traffic.

I drove about 40 mph to church this morning and 35 on the way back. I couldn't see people coming until they were right there which made a few traffic crossings a bit nerve-wracking. I crossed one highway and out of nowhere came a car from the right. If he hadn't had his lights on, we would have most likely met with screeching metal sounds. I saw him in time to stomp on the accelerator and we missed each other.

I mean visibility in feet rather than yards.

None of this inspired any confidence in Zach regarding driving again.

There is something mysteriously delicious about fog though. We were listening to Enya's The Celts on the way to church. It was so fitting. I love walking in fog and may take the Professor out in it later. Fog at night is even better for walking than fog during the day.

Tom finally sold the Ford Tank we have had sitting idle in the driveway for the past 2 years. Seriously. Two years without a second vehicle that worked. (Less the past few months we've had the Dodge Dakota.) Not to mention how much room it's been taking up. It felt so good to be able to get the car comfortably up the driveway. Even better now that the walls of snow aren't there to impede opening the doors.

Church was superb, as always. Zach was acolyte again. He finished up the year and brought a new one in as acolyte. I loved the kids walking the statues of the wise men and camel up the aisle with the cross this morning. They were so cute dressed in fine robes and wearing crowns. Zach got lots of complements today from people who don't normally speak as such to us. He really takes his responsibilities seriously and it shows. One woman told him that the reverence he shows as he walks the cross in and out really sets the mood for the service. Another man told him today that his assistance with the Eucharist was the smoothest he's ever seen.

(Old pictures from last summer. His beard and hair are longer now.)

Before he heard any of these remarks, though, he was led to ask the priest about being a chalice-bearer and she's so excited about it, she's going to start his training next week. The bishop asked him at our confirmation if he had considered the priesthood. From time to time, Zach does consider it but for now he's taking things one step at a time.

Our bishop most likely wouldn't recommend him for seminary if he knew he was gay though. He's a wonderful man and an excellent bishop, having dealt with problems in the diocese that could have turned into really stinky problems, with an measure of grace that is inspiring. But he's very conservative on the issue of ordaining gays.

Pity.

I finished the sabbatical socks last night and hope to take pictures tomorrow. It's far too dark today. I had to frog back on the sleeve to the pink & black raglan for Zach. I was ready to bind off and noticed the sleeve was about two inches too long. When I looked into it further, I noticed I hadn't bound off before I started my decreases. Aaaarrrrgggghhh!

I had to put it away for a few days as I couldn't look at it.

I'll most likely finish it up tomorrow.

I've started some plain vanilla socks with some leftover Woolease. I'm thinking green, black and cream stripes of 2x2 ribbing. Something mindless.

I want to knit a cardigan but haven't found that one pattern yet. I'll look around for it this week. I haven't mined my stash of magazines and patterns yet, just the online stuff.

I really must focus on losing weight again. Once I've fallen off the wagon, so to speak, it's nigh impossible for me to catch up with said wagon again, let alone jump back on. I wish I could just eat and not think about food all the time, which is the problem of dieting for me. I think about food, worry about food, feel guilty about food 24/7.

Quitting smoking was a breeze compared to this and I thought that was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Well, I'm off to turn some lights on. Tom is sleeping in the living room today so I've been sitting in the dark without any noise or able to watch any television today.

Oddly, I don't care. I think I'm just burned out from all the angst. I find myself having imaginary conversations...like the devil and angel sitting on the shoulder. One part of me makes excuses and blames myself for all the problems we're having. That critter tells me that I'm being too hard on Tom and that if I just would be a better wife/person, things between us would be just fine. We would be one big happy family. The other critter tells me that's not going to happen because eventually I would make a mistake and set him off again, that I would always have to watch what I say and do (which is what my life has been like the past 10 years) and nothing will ever change.

Today I've got my fingers in my ears singing the la-la song.

I don't want to hear it.

Off to read some blogs and fill in my application for Moraine Park.

TTFN