Nothing happens for days and then....bam!

The world didn't end yesterday but it was the day from hell and yet a good day at the same time.  Zach and I were out digging the car out of 20+ inches of snow when I had to go inside for a while.  I figured he had dug out enough for us to get out so I had my purse and keys with me, locked the door and walked outside to find our neighbor helping him dig the car out.  I was so pleased because the neighbor has never really spoken to me before.  He's always friendly with us but just hadn't talked to me.

So I went to warm up the car and help get the snow off the windshield but he had gone to his garage to get his shop broom to do it instead.  I left my purse in the car and got out and was going to get the scraper out of the back seat but couldn't get the door open.  I figured it was frozen shut so I was going to just grab it from the front seat but that door wouldn't open either.  For some bizarre reason the sensor had locked all the doors on the car.  And it was running.  And the only other key was 30 miles away.  And the house was locked up tight. I didn't have Tom's work number because it was in my purse but Zach had his phone so he was going to go online and get it from his phone but the neighbor insisted we come inside his home. And it was going to take Tom at least a half-hour to an hour (because of work and weather) to get there.

We got the number, phoned Tom at work and was able to wait inside, warm and safe until Tom could get things straightened out at work and come rescue us.  I felt so bad about him having to leave work but it's only the third time in 26 years of marriage that I've had to call him at work so it's not like it happens all the time.  And only the second time he's had to leave work to help me.

But it was so nice to finally get to know the neighbor and his wife.  I'm guessing they were both as shy as I am.


Then I had to go shopping and figured I would take the state highway instead of the county road, thinking it would be better.  WRONG!!!  It had solid chunks of packed snow and ice with significant drop-offs onto the pavement from a packed snow drift.  I came back the county highway which was practically clear all the way.  Go figure.

By the time we got done shopping, I could barely move.  My upper arms were so sore from the shoveling and the dodgy hip was giving me grief so walking was painful, too.  Fortunately by the time we checked out the lines were only 3 deep instead of six or seven, like it was when we first walked in.  Driving home wasn't a knuckle buster like the trip there was except for one curve where a huge truck was coming the opposite direction on a curve and there was a huge drift on my side of the road that hadn't packed down.  I let off the accelerator before I got there so I didn't slide but the truck was over the line on my side because it wasn't visible there.  I had to go onto the side of the road, into more snow...about 4-5 inches deep, to avoid him.  Other than that, it wasn't bad.

So we had pizza because I was nearly in tears from the stress, pain and fatigue.  And I was too tired to eat any.

I had decided to knit up some hats and scarves for my neighbor and his wife for their hospitality and all the years of them clearing the driveway apron so I picked up some yarn while I was at the store.  I started on his hat and knitted about 4 inches last night before Tom got home and we briefly celebrated our anniversary by giving each other things that were sitting on the table.  Like...I gave him his keys, he gave me a bag of chips.  This kept going on and we were laughing so hard that Zach came out wanting to know what was going on.  He left shaking his head.  Adults!  We're really backward because I'm the one who always forgets, which I did once again.  Since our anniversary is so close to Christmas we don't usually buy each other gifts but especially this year since the world was going to end anyway.

But I did sleep well last night and when I woke up this morning I got dressed and went out to refill the bird feeders.  I also bought some field corn for the bigger birds and squirrels.  I got outside and immediately fell, landing on a cushion of 20+ inches of snow.  I finally made it out to the feeders and back and sat down at the computer to read my mail and stuff and looked out to watch the birds but the feeder that they use most of the time was on the ground.  Apparently the weight of the snow on it had weakened the string.  Dang it!  I don't know if we can fix it but if I move the other one to that spot they'll use it.  As of now they're mostly eating off the snow instead of the other feeder.

I'll go out later I suppose.  It will bother me all day until I do it.

But today I need to finish decorating the tree and wrapping presents.  And what cleaning I can get done.  And probably some laundry, too.  Plus tons of knitting this weekend.

TTFN

Christmas is sneaking up on me

I've been under the weather for a few days with a cold, the first one in years, maybe decades, that hasn't turned into bronchitis or a massive sinus infection.  It was a 3 day cold that, while miserable for a day or two, left me without overstaying its welcome.  I still have a minor cough but my chest is no longer so sore from coughing that I couldn't even bend over, let alone cough without a pillow to my chest.

But I did get some knitting done while feeling poorly.  I talked to my son in Montana and he doesn't want any hats or mittens or anything so what I knit will go to charity somewhere.  I picked up some wool and am knitting myself another pair of socks.  I finished up Tom's and Zach's.  I already knitted up a pair for myself.  I have enough wool for at least two more pair if I'm not particular about what the last pair looks like.

I need to finish up the baby blanket.  I still haven't found the folder with the pattern so I'll have to re-print it out.  But I decided not to send it until after the holidays since the post office is a bit busy this time of year.  I can wait.  It's not like she'll outgrow it in a month or so.  I made it crib size so she can use it for a while.

The Christmas shopping is done.  Pretty meager this year but it can't be helped.  At least we have all our needs and that's more important now than anything else.  I'm going to have to work past the fatigue and depression to get back to frugality.  The economy might be picking up but inflation is outpacing us.  At least I feel better today.  Enough to get some work done and maybe the house decorated for Christmas.  I hope. 

I need to refill the bird feeder today.  Odd how the birds keep eating the seed I leave out for them.  This is the first year I've had birds us up the suet.  Mostly it just dissolves from the rain but I've seen what I think are nuthatches hanging on the suet cage.  I saw a huge squirrel in the back yard the other day.  He was about twice the size of the squirrels we see scampering around the neighborhood. 

Venison for supper tonight.  I'm very thankful for that.  I'm thinking of a ham for Christmas dinner instead of roast chicken.  Not fans of turkey and we rarely have ham so that would be a treat.  A small one though.  I don't have room to store a bigger one. 

Well, I have much to do today so I need to get moving while I have the energy.

TTFN

I had to make a promise

...before Zach would help me move my room around again.  It just wasn't working out so I'm back to where I was in the very beginning.  It's a pain to open the curtains but other than that, it's easier to make the bed and for some strange reason, the pets sleep on the sides of the bed this way instead of in the middle the other way.  In fact, Professor slept under the covers beside me last night...first time since moving the room last time.

But I had to promise Zach I wouldn't move it again until summer.  Or never.  He's preferring never.

I finished up the mitts but for some stupid reason the thumbs aren't the same length.  I think they're off by a couple of rows and it won't bother Stephen, I'm sure but it bugs me.  But re-knitting the thumbs isn't an option.  I'll just have to learn to let it go.  I intend to start his flip-top mittens tonight but I'm also working on Tom's winter socks.  He loves to wear them when he's outdoors because wool...real wool...is so much better than cotton or acrylic/wool blend.  I need to finish up the baby blanket but I'm going to have to re-print the pattern because I just can't find the folder it's in.  I'm sure I'll find it after I finish the blanket.  I don't really want to send it before Christmas because I don't have anything for the other kids.  I just don't have the money for more than this.  And no time to knit something up for them.

I finished up the second time through American Horror Story.  It was even better the second time.  Definitely have to own that some day.  I went ahead and took it back today even though it wasn't due until next Wednesday because there is a waiting list and I wouldn't want to wait while someone had a movie sitting on their counter for a week, not watching it but too lazy to take it back.  So it's looking like clam chowder from a can for supper.  I'm still going through the fatigue.  Last weekend I had really bad pain and ended up taking move than my regular dosage, which I'm allowed to do occasionally.  I just hate to do it though.  My first reaction is to hoard my meds.  It takes a lot of pain for me to actually take them.  I hope the new doctor or my gp will understand that.

But I need to crawl into bed and catch up on my dvr stuff that I put off while watching AHS twice.  I'd watch it again but I wouldn't want to get sick of it.  I think I'll watch an episode or two of AHS season two.  Which is a totally different story.  Or maybe the Doctor Who I have on my dvr.  The rest of season 7, I think.

And knitting on the mittens and socks the rest of the night.

TTFN

Back to spinning

I had a pretty productive weekend.  Did all the laundry except for the load in the dryer that I need to get out later, watched a marathon of American Horror Story, season 1, finished knitting Zach's socks, started on Tom's, nearly done with Stephen's mitts and plied two spindles full, washed and turned into a "cake."  I do it by hand, wrapping it around an old prescription bottle, making it a center pull.  It turned out softer than I had thought but it's still a bit rough, mostly because it's top and not the softer under fleece.  Still it will make a good yarn to work with once I figure out what that will be.  I'm nearly done with another spindle-full.  I'm using a kick spindle so I end up with less each step of the way.  The color isn't staying; it's washing out.  I don't know if that's because I used coffee or if it's the nature of the yarn not to take dye well, but as the color isn't very appealing, that may not be a bad thing.  I've still got some kool aid I can use to re-dye it if I want to.

Other than all that, I didn't get a lot done.  I'm still sleeping longer and better but there are nights when I just don't sleep at all.  Last night I wanted to but Professor needed out about 4 times.  And it was cold and snow on the ground.  I have to go out with him because he barks at everything and in the middle of the night my neighbors don't want to share in that.  I can hush him right away but it takes a while to get the door open and get out there so I don't have the control over him unless I go out with him.  And it's really cold in the wee hours of the morning.

I got a letter from my rheumatologist's hospital informing me she's retiring in February.  It makes me nearly in a panic as she's the only doctor who will give me the number of pain pills I need, even if I don't use them all.  My gp, who really should be treating me for the fibromyalgia won't and won't give me more than 2 pills a day, which absolutely won't take care of the pain at all.  Plus if I only have a few, I tend to hoard them instead of using them for the pain, which can get really bad in the middle of the night.  But I'm afraid I'll run out at the end of the month if I don't have enough.  My rheumie gives me more than I need so I don't panic about it.  However, I'm afraid I'll start to hoard them again because I won't have a doctor who will treat me.  There is one in the next town but I doubt she is in my network.  I'll get to see her again right before she retires so I will ask her to beg my gp to treat me and give me the number of pills she does.  I went 10 years with this pain because the doctors didn't think it was real pain and told me there was nothing they could do for me.  I'm so afraid of that happening again.

Well, it's getting dark and I need to start supper soon and get back to watching American Horror Story, season 1 again before next week.  I'm also watching season 2 on dvr but it's a completely different story so each season is independent of the other.  It's really good and I'm told it gets amazing later but for now, it's not as great as fantastic as season 1.  Off to spin for a while.

TTFN

My mojo is back!

All it took was a new project for my older son.  He's living in Montana right now and while it's still pretty mild there, winter is still in its infancy.  January and February can be a real bitch so I'm knitting him some mitts, flip-top mittens and a hat out of some odd skeins I have around the house.  Trying to use my stash a bit before I buy anymore yarn.

My reading mojo is back as well.  I sat down and read a whole book yesterday.  In fact I lost sleep because I wanted to finish it.  It was a memoir and not about a person I particularly liked.  I liked her even less when I finished it but still I am fascinated by people who make their marks out there.

We're back to cold weather again.  I'm not hanging clothes out anymore for the year.  Too cold and takes too much time and energy.  I need to focus on getting caught up on cleaning and start cooking from scratch again.  I need to make up some tortillas today.  It's a favorite snack food for the guys so I should make them rather than buy them.  It doesn't take a lot of time or effort...just me getting up and doing it.

I didn't sleep a lot because my son in Montana called me this morning.  Not early and usually I would be up at that time if I hadn't stayed up all night reading so I'm in a fog right now.  But I was so glad to talk to the firstborn.  I had missed him.  A lot.

I do need to finish up some projects I've got going as well as the projects I just started.  I hope that will be easier now that my mojo is back.  Plus I just got American Horror Story from the library yesterday.  Season one, of course.  I found out I don't need season one to start season 2, which is on my dvr but it came into the library before I could get around to watching season 2.  So I've got that to watch before it's due back.  Lots of knitting can be accomplished while watching that in the next week or so.  Plus all the things on my dvr inventory.  Tons of tv series there including the first 2 seasons of Merlin and the first 2 seasons, so far, of Fringe.

I must get off and get something to eat and then work to be done.

TTFN

I"ve lost my mojo

Can't seem to want to knit right now.  I've picked up the needles a few times but lately have just done nothing while watching tv, which is a new experience for me.  I never do nothing while watching tv.  Knitting Daily is on and I'm enjoying that but still nothing in the way of knitting mojo.  Maybe I'm just bored with my projects.  Although it's not like I finish much anymore.  I'd rather do that than start a new project right now.

Still, I'm getting a few things done around the house.  Not a lot because the depression is still there although not as debilitating as it has been lately.  And fatigue...in spite of getting sleep most nights.  I'm starting to dream again, or at least remember my dreams.

It's been warm this week; tomorrow starts a cold spell again of temps in the 30s and 40s.  Still a bit warm for Wisconsin in December.  I wonder if we'll have a green Christmas this year.  I'd be okay with it.  Just this once.  I have no energy to shovel and Zach's been really down and fatigued this winter.  The dr won't put him on anti-depressants.  She wants him to see a psychiatrist.  I think we might be getting another doctor for Zach.  I've invested too much time in her but he hasn't.  She farms out nearly everything to specialists and we just can't afford to see specialists when a g.p. will do.  My rheumatologist can't figure out why my g.p. won't treat my arthritis and fibromyalgia.  There's not much to it, just prescribing my meds and checking for inflammation and stuff.  Plus I have to drive an hour away for the visit to the rheumie.  Zach won't go to a psychiatrist as he's had really bad experiences with the two he has seen in his life, with his OCD issues.

He might try a therapist but they can't prescribe anti-depressants.  Well, he'd try but we can't really afford the co-pay for it.

In the meantime I'm doing all I can for him.  But some of it he's going to have to do himself and I know from personal experience it's not that easy.  I've been told to just push myself or just get out more or just do whatever it is people think I should do that will magically fix my depression and he's heard the same shit.  It's just not easy.  Still, the fact that he's still hanging on means he's trying.

Well, I need to get some clothes out of the dryer and wash another load.  It was warm for a while but rainy so I got back to using the dryer and think I will continue with it.  It's time consuming and requires energy to hang clothes out and when you have a miniscule amount of energy using it for that means nothing else gets done.

I'm really tired of being tired all the time.

TTFN

Making progress

With the frugal thing.  Mostly.  The clothes I hung out yesterday were dry by this afternoon.  It was pretty windy so they got a good blowing and didn't freeze.  Although my fingers tried to.  I had my fingerless mitts on and kept putting my hands in my pockets but the weather was in the high 20s today and definitely cold.  Still, I got another load hung out and hopefully will get more hung out on Thursday.  We didn't go to the movies today because it's trash day and I had some stuff to go through in the basement to throw out.  Which I need to bring up and take outside before it gets completely dark.  I love it when it's dark before 5 p.m.  But then...I'm a night person.

I slept a bit before Tom got home but woke up when I heard him.  We had bought him a new work coat because the coat he's been using since his Navy days was looking so bad.  I mean, it's over 25 years old.  So we got a sturdy work coat, which he liked and wore to work today.  I was able to get back to sleep pretty well after that but got woke up this morning at around 8 a.m. by 2 robo-calls from the Republicans freaking out because their side lost the election so they want everyone to make sure the President doesn't get anything passed.  They're not getting me on their side with all this hysteria, especially at 8 in the morning.

I scheduled my mammogram today for right before Christmas.  I kept meaning to but time got away from me.  I was due the end of August but there was a lot going on there and a 3 hour trip up to FDL and back wasn't going to work out for me.  Especially when I wasn't sleeping at night then.  Now that I seem to be better, I'll get it done.  That means my surgeon's visit will be probably in January though, but maybe I can get in before then.

I worked on Zach's sock last night.  I need to dig out the pattern for the blanket so I can finish it up and then put buttons on the sweater and get it mailed out.  I'm really bad at that last point.  I just hate going to the post office, which is why a home business wouldn't work out at all for me.  I know my limitations.  I did start working on a dishcloth shawl out of some bulky yarn I had plenty of.  It's a chocolate brown and not particularly luscious but it will make someone a nice, warm shawl. Won't be done for a while yet though.

I forgot to pick up my medicine at the store yesterday but as they hold it for a few days I'm not running back there.  Trips to town have to be limited from now on to save gas.  Tom put a few things on the list but I hope he doesn't run out before I can get back to the store.  If he does, he does though.  I've got to stop this constant shopping that seems to be going on.  'Cause I never just get what's on the list, you know.  I used to be good at this, not going but once a week.  I'll probably have to do at least 2 trips a week but even that would be a lot better than the 4-5 times I go now.  We're doing the movie tomorrow but it's in the opposite direction.  I don't go to the movies in the town we shop in because parking is awful and far away and they don't have matinees during the week.  When I say parking is awful, I mean it's very limited and a few blocks away from the theater.

I'm not sure what I'm going to fix for supper tonight.  I have some canned salmon I might fix into patties.  We haven't had that in a while.  I've got a venison roast but that would take too long.  I'll fix that on Thursday when I can be home all day.  I've got a crock pot but I won't use it if I'm not home.  It's still in great shape but it's old and our wiring is old and I just don't trust it if I'm not here. 

I should get busy with supper now and get the trash out to the bin.  It's already dark now but we've got a street light in front of the house so I won't need a flashlight or anything.

TTFN

Been a while

Tom was gone last week hunting and brought back half a deer.  They share out their deer in the camp but this one he shot.  First thing on opening day.  One other hunter got a deer as well. So he got home a bit early yesterday, before I was even out of bed, and started processing the meat.  We had bought him a set of knives for processing a few years ago so he was thrilled to use them.  It was also nice to see him doing it instead of me.  I had processed one deer years ago with our crappy knives and swore never to do it again.  Now we have meat in the freezer.  Yay!

For me the week wasn't great.  Depression being what it is, it left me in a funk so I didn't get anything much done while he was gone.  Hardly any knitting at all.  Not much cleaning and very little cooking.  I would have been better off if I had just stopped fighting it and rode it out.  'Cause once I did that, it resolved itself more quickly.  I never learn.

But I am back to knitting again.  Nearly finished with the baby blanket.  I just need to finish up the end trim and weave in the ends, wash it and get it off to my daughter and her husband for their new baby.  I finished up my wool socks and one of Zach's, started on the other one and plan on starting Tom's mittens after I finish up the blanket.  And from now on I plan on using up my stash.

We're in super tightwad lockdown from now on.  I have to get back to where we used to be in that regard.  I don't think we will ever be able to relax again.  We have to start fixing the house up, putting money back into the house.  Even if it's just decorative.  Plus we need to get some money in savings again.  I don't think I will ever trust the economy again.

I've got a load of clothes out on the line.  It's around freezing but it's windy so they won't freeze.  It will take a day or two to dry but they will dry.  Whites and socks I'll dry in the dryer because they take forever to hang up and don't feel great on the feet.  I won't be able to hang up all the clothes inside on racks this winter, but I can use the dryer partly and hang them up on the racks when they're partly dry. That will save some money a bit.

We're going to see a movie this week.  Zach has been wanting to see Wreck-it Ralph so we're going tomorrow.  The Hobbit is coming out soon but we'll wait until after the holidays because I don't do well in crowded movie theaters.  And we only do matinees.  We only do one movie a year normally but we haven't gone for a few years so two this year will be okay.

I'll also be doing more cooking from scratch.  I had debated getting another bread machine but I think I'll just go back to making it by hand instead.  The problem in winter is the house not being warm enough for the bread to rise, but I'm working on using a candle to heat under my bread mixing pan, which is stainless steel.  I just need a rack under it so it's not too close.  Tea candles last several hours so they should work well.

Which means less time online.  I have been losing interest in the internet lately but I had thought it was the depression.  But I think I'm getting more interested in things going on here so I plan on spending less time on facebook and stuff.  I'll keep up with my blogs though, because I do still like writing them.

But for now, I've got to put the load of whites in the dryer and get another load started, get Zach up so we can go to the store and pay bills.  And then get something going for supper.  I have a chicken laid out so I think roast chicken for supper tonight.  I need to make tortillas this week and maybe some noodles as well.  I'll work on the bread next week.  Right now the freezer is full of venison so I don't have room to freeze any bread.  And I want to make at least 4 loaves at a time.  It's more economical.

TTFN

I'm still here

Can't believe it's been almost a week since I last posted.  I am still sleeping fairly well.  I had one bad night that resulted in me putting my room back the way it was since the arrangement wasn't helping me sleep after all.  The inconvenience was a pain but worth the effort if I was getting sleep.  Not so much if I wasn't.

I had to stop working on the baby blanket to knit up a pair of flip-top mittens for Tom for hunting.  I have no idea what happened to all our mittens but they aren't in the bag I keep that stuff in.  So I'm knitting him a new pair out of the Fisherman's Wool from Lion Brand.  I absolutely love how they're turning out and we all will have our own pair before it gets too much colder.

Tom is leaving tomorrow for deer hunting.  I have one more thing to get him for the trip and then I will work on laundry and cleaning.  It's hard to clean before he leaves so I'll do that afterward.  But the laundry  must be done ahead of time.  He needs some clean clothes to take with him.

I don't have any great plans for Thanksgiving except our annual trip to Pizza Hut on the day before.  Probably just frozen dinners with a pumpkin pie on the side.  I haven't cooked for T-day for around 17 years.  It's just not a big day for me.  When Zach was little, Tom was always out to sea around that time and when he got out of the Navy, he was gone deer hunting.  I've been invited to other people's houses but honestly the stress of trying to socialize with people you don't really know never appealed to me so I would graciously decline the invitation.  I do wish I were more social but attempting it one day a year with a crowd of people in a small house makes me nuts.  I did have one big family dinner here once and it was more than I ever want to do again.  The people were fine.  The house was too small and I spent the majority of the time finishing up the cooking by myself in the tiny kitchen so it's just not worth it.

I do plan on a lot of knitting while he's gone since I don't plan on doing a lot of cleaning after I get it all straightened up.  And cooking will be simple and plain.  I just don't want to spend my whole time cleaning and cooking.  It's the closest I get to a vacation, even though I still have all my regular chores to do.  And I still have laundry and cooking, even if it's not elaborate meals.  And of course, the kitchen has to be cleaned up daily as well.  Sigh.  I've never had a real vacation in our whole marriage.  Or before that either, come to think of it.

Anyway.  I hope to get the baby blanket done and a pair of socks for Zach in addition to some flip top mittens for me and Zach and some socks for Tom.  Then I've got tons of WIPs to finish up.  Or rip back.  I have to put a dent in this stash of yarn.

The sun is shining today and the birds have nearly emptied the feeder so I need to refill that as well.  We've killed 8 mice so far in the traps.  I had to resort to kill traps instead of humane as I think the mice were coming back in.  We haven't seen or heard a mouse in a few days so I'm hoping they're all gone.  I hate to kill them but they were in my stove, leaving droppings in my pots and pans so I had to wash them every time I needed to use them.  Plus they were way too close to my food and that I will not tolerate.  I can't afford to be merciful when there is risk of our health involved.

Well, I need to get dressed and get to town to finish up the shopping and then get the laundry finished up.

TTFN

Hope this trend continues

Three nights of sleep.  Good sleep. Mostly uninterrupted sleep.  I'm still not feeling energetic but I'm not feeling like I can barely move anymore and plan on getting some work done today.  Inside and out.  Apparently that orientation for my bed is working out great in spite of the fact it's not ideal at all.  I have a tv tray for a nightstand that blocks my armoir so I have to move it whenever I need something from my drawers.  But I'm sleeping and that's more important.

I haven't gotten a lot of knitting done but hopefully that will change now.  I won't be online as much either as the election is over and I have much to do around the house. Especially now that I'm sleeping. I just turned the furnace on to heat up the house but I'll be turning it back down afterward.  It's not that cold outside but as the sun isn't shining today, the inside won't warm up like it did yesterday.  I didn't turn the heat up at all yesterday.

I need to make my mammogram appointment today. I keep meaning to and forget until it's too late in the day to call.  I'm a few months late but I'm not in a panic about it.  I would have done it sooner but it's so far to drive for it.  It takes about an hour to get there.  Plus I have to then see the surgeon after the results are in so that's two trips in a month.  I know I used to drive that daily when Zach was in school but I'm older and tireder now and just hate the journey.

Tom leaves for deer hunting next week so I have to get busy with the tightwadding.  I need to get back to where I was years ago because things are only going to get worse from here on out. The economy keeps pricing upward and Tom's raises don't.  We can't keep getting 1% raises in a 5% economy and expect to live on it for long.

Well, I need to eat breakfast and get busy.  Much to do. :)

TTFN