It's the sleep, stupid

Another day of nothing done but this time it wasn't the internet, it was the cold, or sinus infection or whatever it is.  Just beginning but I felt achy and my head hurt most of the day, but most of it was because I got to sleep very late and was woken up after only a few hours of sleep.  I'm feeling a bit better now and plan on doing some straightening up of the living and dining room.  Pot pies for supper since I don't feel like cooking.  I figure after I get some mild cleaning done, I'm going to bed.

I do hope to get some knitting done tonight now that my head is a bit clearer.  As long as it stays clear.  I fell asleep watching Knitting Daily just a while ago.  Good thing it was a rerun.  Maybe tomorrow will be better if I manage to get to sleep early and actually get to stay asleep.  Still have a problem with certain family members coming into my room while I'm sleeping and playing and talking to the pets. 

Still very cool weather.  I wore sweats today and was quite comfortable.  Windows were closed except the one over the sink.  I'm too short to close it.  It might warm up a bit later this week so I don't have the fans put away yet, just out of the windows.  I got the right weatherstripping for the front door this time so I'll work on that next week.  I noticed the back door needs the bottom weather stripping replaced, too.  Huge chunks out of it.  Each year I manage to do better with winterizing so I hope this year to raise the heat to 62 during the day and 52 at night. I'm very comfortable with 50 at night but when you lower the temps more than 10 degrees you lose what you've gained monetarily because the furnace takes too much energy to heat the house back up.  I absolutely won't go higher than 55 at night though.  I love sleeping cool and so does everyone else in the family.

Most of the tomatoes need to come in and I'll have more peppers soon.  I need to chop up what I've brought in and do something with them.  I'll freeze the peppers and maybe make spaghetti sauce our of some of the peppers and all the tomatoes.  The tobacco looks awful.  Too light by far.  I think the soil was too depleted from last year's crop but I didn't have the other garden ready for it.  Still don't.  As soon as Zach manages to work out his sleep problems (he's working on a plan for delayed sleep phase) I'll send him out to finish chopping it up.  He lost all his progress today when that same family member woke him up after he'd been asleep only a couple of hours and he couldn't get back to sleep again. 

Well, my supper is done in the toaster oven so I'm off to eat, then make up the bed and try to get some knitting done and an early night...I hope.  Someday I hope my entries will actually contain something of significance instead of writing about how much I didn't get done.

TTFN

Bad day blues

I had a strange day today.  I got up and hit the floor running because I needed to get to the library before Tom went to work and this being the day he has to go in early, I felt rushed for time.  Got home in plenty of time but got nothing done after that.  I'm spending entirely too much time online.  Sims Social has grabbed me and I must resist its evil clutches.  Plus it is slowing my computer big time.

It wasn't just that.  I was reconnecting with some friends I hadn't seen in ages.  Still...I got nothing done.

Of course, I don't think I would have anyway because the sinus headache that premieres ahead of the sinus infection has arrived.  Time to get the neti pot out for real.  I was Headachy, Sneezy, Dopey and Smart Ass all day today.  And the headache has returned but I can't get to bed yet because I forgot Tom wanted me to wash his uniform since his supply wasn't in his locker yesterday.  So...I'm waiting for one load to dry so I can stick them in.  They can dry overnight while I sleep though.  I'll get them out of the dryer tomorrow.

I have got to be more determined and stay off this seductress during the day, at least.  And limit my time to no more than an hour.  That will mean giving up a lot of things online but I'm just not happy with myself for spending so much time here.  And it's not just the housework not getting done.  I'm not doing things I enjoy anymore.  It's become a burden instead of a tool.

I'll still blog and read other blogs, but the political readings have to be cut down to one site.  And I may have to give up a group I just was made part of...the one with all the old friends on it.  It really is good to see these ladies but they are chatty and it fills my mail box up rapidly.  I just can't seem to keep up.

In the meantime, I'm going to go make my bed and wait for the laundry while watching House Hunters International.  I ate supper way too late so my stomach is upset and it will be at least 5 hours before I can lie down again.  Seriously.  When will I learn that I can't eat this late?

Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a better mood, but if I don't get to sleep before sunrise, I'm thinking not.

TTFN

The Outer Limits was not a comedy

Today is laundry day and I'm going to get it all done in one day so tomorrow I can do something else.  I also got my winter clothes out of the basement because the temps are dropping here. although I'm sure we're not done with the heat yet.  I just need those transition clothes.

I've got most of the windows shut because of our wonderful breezes we get living on the side of the hill and will keep them open tonight but it's going to drop into the high 40s again so I'm putting a blanket on the bed.  The pets love it when I do that because they love my blanket.  Professor flips on his back and waggles back and forth, scratching his back on it.  Then he turns over and rubs his face all over it.  Hannibal is much more dignified and just lies on it.

I also got my pajamas out.  I'll be cozy tonight. And it will be quieter without the fans.  I'm so used to the noise I don't know if I can sleep without it.  But the electric bill will be nicer for it.

Zach is working on his sleep problems.  He was diagnosed as a newborn with delayed sleep phase and I ran into it online a few days ago and sent him the link.  It has to do with the circadian patterns being off so he's doing what the article says to do.  Instead of trying to get to sleep sooner and wake up sooner, which has never worked for him.  You go forward.  He will go to sleep an hour later and get up an hour later until he's got the right circadian rhythm going.  For a while he'll be sleeping days but within a month he should be back on track.  I hope so.

Now if I could just figure mine out.  It's not the same kind of insomnia he has.

I did get up a bit earlier today because I didn't want to sleep all day.  I haven't been brimming with energy but less depressed today and I have gotten more done.  I just don't want to overdo it and end up sleeping all day tomorrow.  The trash trucks will probably wake me up around 8 tomorrow since I don't have the fans to muffle the noise.  And that's good because I have a library book in that I need to pick up and can only do that before Tom goes to work.

Tom came home from work early last night, not feeling well.  He had to take a half a vacation day as he doesn't get sick days there.  He's been working 70 hour weeks, 6 days a week for nearly 3 years with only a few days off at a time.  I think he was just exhausted.  But he came in and watched The Outer Limits with me while he ate his supper.  I have the series on dvr because I found it on an obscure channel and thought it would be fun.  The night before last the episode starred William Shatner and although it wasn't a comedy, I laughed all the way through it.  His acting really has improved since then.  So James Doohan was in the episode we watched last night and we laughed through the whole episode.  The acting was okay and it was weird to see "Scotty" without his brogue, but the plot was hilarious.  Unintentionally.  Not to mention the special effects.  I know that for its time (early 1960s) it was really good, but in light of modern effects, it was hysterical..  Especially the episode with William Shatner and the silver cigar-shaped space ship that didn't just start descending, but flipped sideways and went straight down.  And the monster made of pipe cleaners and felt.  All in all a good time was had by all.

So I didn't get any knitting done aside from a couple of rows on the blue and white baby blanket.  I'm using that when I can't concentrate except I couldn't concentrate on even that last night.  I really want to get back to the frolicking deer (or as some call it...fornicating deer) hat because it's so much fun, even though I'm on the chaste deer right now.

Well, off to fix supper and sort through my winter clothes.  I don't have room for all of them right now so I'm going to get out only what I need for now.

TTFN

Another wasted day

I had high hopes for today but as I watched the sun rise before I finally got to sleep, I decided to just take a rain check on those high hopes.  Next time I have sleep I'll tackle the things I want to accomplish.  I've been mostly vegging out today because my mind is dull and my body doesn't want to move.  Supper is over so I'm going to make up the bed and relax the rest of the night.  Probably won't knit on the frolicking deer hat because I'll make too many mistakes and I really don't want to frog anything more. 

I ended up frogging the Invisibility Shawl last night because I was tired, made a mistake and while trying to fix it ended up dropping a stitch down to the beginning.  So when I tried to unravel the whole thing, the yarn broke so I just threw the knitted portion away.  Cheap yarn from the thrift store.  From now on, when I want to knit lace weight, I'll buy wool.  Acrylic lace weight isn't fun to work with.

It's been nice and breezy today even though the temps were in the mid 80s.  Inside it felt so good I didn't even have a fan on.  And of course, that means I need to start working on winterizing soon.  I have to replace the weatherstripping on both doors and re-glaze a couple of windows. 

I miss not having a car to drive.  I have a book in at the library and I hate having to rush to the store and such in the morning so I can get home before Tom goes to work.  He said it would take a while to fix the car but spent the whole of Sunday fixing the toaster.  sigh  I guess we have different priorities.

So I think I'm going to bed now and will probably end up sleeping long before I should which will make me wake up when Tom gets home and I'll be up the rest of the night.  I really hate insomnia.

TTFN

Do nothing days are important, too

Aside from cooking supper and some more weeding, I didn't do anything today.  Tom really wants to buy a car before the month is out but Sunday is the only day he's really home and I don't want to look tomorrow.  I'd like for him to fix my car so it's drivable since he wants to go up north before the month is out.  He has to use up his vacation days before he loses them and his brother needs some work done up at his place.  I told him he can't go until I have a working car though.

I've been reading a lot this week.  I just don't do that enough.  I read a book on legends and ghost stories and am still reading the last Harry Potter book.  I also have some books on various spiritual themes that I would like to get to.  Those require a bit more concentration though.

I really wanted to knit on the frolicking deer hat but I can't risk Tom walking downstairs so I'm going to work on the Invisibility Shawl from Charmed Knits...a book of patterns based on the Harry Potter books and movies.  This isn't mine but it's supposed to look like that when I'm done.  Maybe.  It's lightweight and doesn't require tons of concentration, although with laceweight yarn I need to watch what I'm doing so whatever I "watch" on tv will mostly be listened to.

I'm psyching myself up for next week to be a week of productivity in many areas including improving my health and my crafts.  I've been itching to get my pencils out again and even my watercolors.  I'd like to work with them before I get out my acrylics or oils.  I'm not any good at any of them yet but I'll never be good if I don't practice and stick with it.

Well, supper smells done so I'm outta here, and heading to bed as soon as I'm done eating.

TTFN

Why yes I will sleep for a week thank you.

It wasn't a great day, not having had much sleep again.  At 4 a.m. Professor jumped on my chest and gave me a facial to let me know he needed to go poo, so I got up with him and went outside as well because I didn't want him barking and waking up the neighbors.  He ended his business and went to the corner of the house and peeked around it only to hear the ROTTWEILLER barking from the window.  Yards separate the houses so it sounded pretty close.  Scared me and poor Professor hightailed it back to the door in nothing flat.

I ended up just giving up at 6:30 a.m., watched the rest of  The Towering Inferno and then got up, made up the couch and went to the store.  Had breakfast at McSnacky's because it's cheap but it sat on my stomach like a rock all day.  I decided after shopping that I wasn't going to do anything today but got involved in a conversation with oldest son on facebook.  I decided to be strong and let him know my boundaries only to be told that he won't respect them because "that's who I am."  He prides himself on "cutting through the bullshit."  In other words, he thinks he's a great person for telling people what's wrong with them.  As if he is some kind of sage who knows people better than they know themselves.

Of course he let me know what my problem was and how I should fix it.  Apparently I'm a pathetic person only he can fix.  And no conversation is complete without him trying to denigrate his brother to me because it's obvious that oldest son loves me better and is willing to tell me the hard truths because he loves me while younger son worships the ground I walk on and is a sycophant.  And apparently I always blame others for my mistakes and need to own up or he's not going to talk to me anymore.

Then, because I wouldn't acknowledge his almighty wisdom and insisted on my boundaries, he got pissed, threw birth daddy in my face as being the better parent and told me he was through with me and signed off.  This after offering up an ultimatum that if I ever ended a conversation with him, we were through.  Double standard.

I am so tired of this game.  Calvinball has fewer rules.  Easier to understand Calvinball, too.

Why do family relationships have to be so toxic?

So tonight I am not going to fret about it at all because as much as I love firstborn, it's not his place to try to fix me, control me or manipulate me.  Nor do I need to "grow up" because I won't drop everything and do what he tells me to do with my life. Nor is it necessary for me to accept his criticism of me (he calls it input) when he obviously doesn't even know who I am.

Which, of course, is my fault.  Since everything is my fault.

I am going to knit.  Just as soon as I finish fixing supper, which got delayed because of the pounding on the keyboard.  I'm going to work on something I can fall asleep over because I've only been getting a few hours of sleep each night for the past 3 nights.

And tomorrow I'm going to finish weeding the yard.  I did go out with Professor when he had to wee because I didn't want to set off the ROTTWEILLER again.  While out there I pulled weeds and got the front flower garden decent looking again.  Of course it didn't help going out there since every time he went out the ROTTWEILLER barked at him.  And of course he thinks he has to have the last word.  What is it with that Y chromosome?

Well, time to finish up supper, and crawl into bed. I'll probably be wide awake by then.  I do have plans for tomorrow if I can get some sleep today.

ADDENDUM:  Things got resolved with firstborn after much frustration and angst on both parts and we've agreed to start fresh.  I acknowledged my failings in the relationship and he acknowledged his.  It's a start.

TTFN

Neighbor woes

The day was pretty much a complete waste.  I was still awake at 6 a.m. mostly from the pain, but also because I had slept for an hour before Tom got home.  Then, before he made it home I woke up in a panic.  I don't know why but I've been doing that with alarming frequency of late.  I just wake up abruptly and with a sense of urgency about it.  After that it's hard to get back to sleep.  I may start taking valerian root for a while to see if that helps.

So I did manage to clean the kitchen but little else.  Zach is going to bring the laundry up for me as my poor arthritic knee is bothering me, too.  After I fold the clothes (and he puts them away) I'm going back to bed.  To knit, of course.  I made good progress on the frolicking deer hat and the size looks a lot closer to fitting Tom's head.

I've also been puttering on the bathroom curtain but I'm getting bored again and want a small project I can finish.  I might go back to the mittens I was working on in the spring.  It will be easy to pick up again and it's small and manageable.

I let Professor outside this afternoon when I got up and he started frenzied barking and the leash was pulled as tight as it could go.  I raced outside in spite of still being in my pajamas (and sporting only one breast) and my hair not brushed yet to find my young neighbor, the one who has his friends park in front of the fire hydrant and on the sidewalk, with a ROTTWEILLER on a heavy chain who is lunging at my Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix with murder in his eyes.  Neither he nor his female friend were attempting to control the dog, but were laughing at my really idiotic dog who thinks he can take on a ROTTWEILLER.  The reason that's in all caps is because the next house down live two Rottweillers who he does interact with from time to time but they are just big marshmellows and are, in fact, afraid of Professor.  This ROTTWEILLER wanted him for lunch.

It pissed me off considering we have done everything we can to be nice neighbors, like not going out in the back yard or mowing or letting the pets out when he has his frequent back yard parties.  With no fence to separate our yards the proximity is...well...close and it's like intruding on his party.  We also don't make a fuss about the atrocious parking of his friends.  We also make an effort to grab Professor the moment he starts barking so he doesn't disturb any of our neighbors.  And believe me, we're the only ones who try to control the barking.  On any given night the dogs on our block sound like a Greek Chorus.  It's hard to keep Professor from joining in, but we do make a very serious effort, to the point of stopping what we're doing, racing to shush him and hold him in a sitting position since he won't bark while he's sitting.  To let that dog lunge and bark at Professor while laughing about it just struck me as a bit mean.  What if he had broken that chain?  I've seen a big dog kill a small dog before.  It's quick and bloody.

And I was the one who apologized.

I told Zach to mow tomorrow regardless if he's having another party or not.  We were going to mow today but between that ROTTWEILLER and the horseshoes being thrown, it didn't seem like a good idea.  I just hope that dog was visiting and isn't a permanent resident.  Zach told me the dog went ape-shit over the cat, too, the other day, to the degree we had to calm the cat down.  The cat is leash-trained so he never strays outside the yard.

I wish we had a fence.  That would also help with the bad mowing on his part.  We try to mow first so we can establish the property line, which is really wonky...it's more like a parallelogram rather than a square or rectangle but he insists on squaring it out, which gives him less room in the back yard but takes over a good deal of our front yard.  I may plant some bushes next spring to separate out the property.

Well, I've whined enough.  It's time to make up the bed and get to knitting.  Maybe that will calm me down.

TTFN

Getting better

I'm feeling much better today.  My throat isn't sore and my headache is only an afterthought.  But the car is still crap. Tom said it would be okay to drive and I needed to get to the library today so I made Zach go along with me.  Had trouble getting it into park at the library but couldn't get it in park at all at StuffMart.  So Tom's list will have to wait until tomorrow morning.  I'll have to get up early to take the truck so I can get back in time for him to get to work but if that's what I have to do...

We didn't look at cars this weekend because I wasn't feeling well but maybe we'll get to it this weekend.  Tom said he could fix the linkage in the transmission but was under the weather himself over the weekend.  It's a good thing Zach doesn't have a job just now because getting him to work would be impossible.  I don't know why be we consistently live like this.  Having to have two cars to ensure we have one up and running.  I would love to buy a better car this go round but who can afford it?

I worked on the frolicking deer hat last night but discovered that no matter what I did I couldn't achieve the gauge the designer did.  No way I could get worsted yarn to equal 6 sts per inch even when I went down two needles.  To me, that's sport weight gauge.  And not having sport weight yarn, I had to improvise.  So I took out one repeat of the pattern, which is 36 sts.  And I still think it might be a bit big.  But wearable.

Plus the designer had the jerk-ass, and totally illegal, admonition not to dare try to sell anything made by her pattern because of course, only she is entitled to be compensated for her labors.  Not the lowly knitter.  Good thing this erroneous "law" is being shown the light of legality.  I totally will not spend a penny on a designer who insists on that provision.

I'm still plugging away on the bathroom curtain.  It's growing but like a watched pot doesn't boil, doesn't seem to lengthen until I look at it later.  I'm pretty sure I won't have it done before I need to set up the window for winter with the insulated curtain, so as soon as I'm done with it, I'll store it.  If I store it now, it will never get finished.

I planted some herbs today and re-potted my lavender.  The lavender wasn't growing at all and with good reason.  It was totally root-bound.  Hopefully it will expand a bit now.  I might plant some more herbs if I can find where I put my seeds.   But that would involve actual thought and movement and I'm still wiped from this whatever it was.  Maybe tomorrow.  I'm having enough difficulty thinking what to cook for supper.

I think I'll go putter around in there and figure something out as it's getting late and I don't want to be cooking supper when I really want to go to bed.

TTFN

I don't feel well

It was a long weekend.  And I mean looong.  I spent most of it on the couch doing mostly nothing and by nothing I mean sleeping or watching the tv with eyes glazed.  Friday wasn't too bad and I started a Christmas present for Tom. A Frolicking Deer hat.  But since he kept coming in and out of the living room the rest of the weekend, I just put it up until I could work on it uninterrupted.  Except now I feel like crap and not like working on anything at all.  In fact, I want to go back to the couch but I have things to do.  I was barely online at all over the weekend and have some things to catch up on.  I'm also thinking how great it was not to be online so much.

I'm not sure if it's a cold or a sinus infection.  I got my neti pot out but so far that hasn't helped at all so I'm thinking it's a cold.  My throat is very sore and swollen but in the area of my sinuses and not the lower part.  And I've got a headache that won't go away so it could be sinus infection.  It doesn't matter which it is.  I just feel like crawling onto the couch and staying there until I feel better.  Yesterday the aches and pains from my fibromyalgia was pretty bad or was it a flu-like achy pain thing?

So I think I will.  I'll need to fix supper but the rest of the house can wait until tomorrow at least.  I'll be back when I feel better.

TTFN

August heat in September

It's hot today.  August hot.  Heat index was 102F a while ago and I got the a/c started a bit late so it's still bloody hot in here.

And the car is toast.  Can't get it into park at all so it's in neutral with the emergency brake on.  Plus I've got the front tires sitting in a low spot on the driveway so it can't slide anywhere.  I guess we'll have to go looking tomorrow and over the weekend.

At least I got home again.  Especially since my phone was sitting on the table here.

I got beef stew for Tom's supper tonight because I'm not cooking.  Or pizza.  Not sure which.  I'm just too hot and too cranky.  I am getting the house cleaned up, though...little by little.  I've done the vacuuming, de-cluttered the dining table and have a load of clothes to fold and another in the dryer.  I've got the kitchen door shut so the heat will have to go out the basement windows.  Can't get in the house.  I hope.

Ah!  Finally feeling the a/c in the dining room now.  I'm nearly done cleaning in here.  I'll get to the kitchen soon but Zach has to finish up his chores in there first, which he's getting ready to do now.  He's tackling the bathroom since that's his weekly chore anyway.  I feel bad making him do the bathroom but in dealing with his OCD we both agreed that this is an area he has to conquer...the germ phobia aspect...so the bathroom is his to clean.  He does okay most of the time and he has rubber gloves to wear when cleaning the toilet.  He never, ever complains although I've seen him shaking when he's come out of there after finishing up.  But he managed to conquer the dishwasher so I'm sure he can conquer this, too.

I'd like to get my herb garden planted this week.  I might try to do it tonight.  The rack is in front of the only southern window aside from the kitchen but the sink is in the way there.  I've close the curtains around the rack so the plants get sun all day rather than open them up when I get up, which sometimes is around noon depending on if I can get to sleep before the sun rises.  I also need to transfer my lavender to a larger container.  I'm not putting it in the ground until next spring.  I don't want to lose it over the winter.

My mastectomy mum is looking puny.  I got it 10 years ago this October from a woman at one of my former churches.  She brought it by the day I came home from the hospital so I call it the mastectomy mum.  I didn't know mums lasted this long. 

I've been working on the Invisibility Shawl the past few nights but it doesn't look like I'm making any progress.  I guess that's the thing about knitting with lace weight yarn.  And I'm beginning to think it's wool by the way it's behaving.  I'll find out when I try to block it, I guess.  Also been working on the bathroom curtain.  I'm looking for another pattern for Zach's sweater though.  Something I can knit to gauge and a crew neck.  I've got several patterns in my bin, and I'm hoping one of them has a close enough number of stitches and gauge so I can just fix this sweater instead of starting over again.

I bought some yarn today.  Just one skein of Red Heart Sparkle, because I'd like to knit something out of it.  I love how it looks and it's very soft to the touch.  Not cheap though so one skein will be it.  Maybe a crown or tiara.  I've always thought I needed a tiara to wear while knitting.

But now that we'll have to replace the car, I've got to go back to the frugal mindset.  It's hard to live with that kind of austerity.  I know some people do it all their lives but it's like dieting.  You do okay for a while but then all you can think about is what you can't have rather than what you can have. 

Well, I'm moving into the living room so I can knit and watch some tv for a while before cooking.  After I fold clothes, of course.

TTFN