Knitting with my shoes off

I may take tomorrow off

2012-02-14T20:04:00.000-06:00

Two days of heavy cleaning, especially when I had lost the energy surge last night and never regained it, has taken its toll on me. I think I'll leave the bed made up and just stay there all day. Reading, knitting...whatever. I have the kitchen and bathroom to scrub down but they can wait an extra day. I'm hurting and beyond tired. I wish I could function like I used to but I can't and pushing through doesn't achieve a very good result in the long run.

Last night was a 4 tramadol night, although I took the second dose at around 6 a.m. so I had plenty of time between dosages. At 7:45 the dr's office called, waking me up, to make the appointment for Zach's anemia. The hematologist is also my oncologist, as I mentioned yesterday, so I have a lot of confidence in him. I just wish they would make their appointments after the sun rises.

Or at least higher in the sky.

I've done two loads of laundry today as well, but the second load will just have to sit in the dryer until tomorrow morning. I'm going to trudge over and make up the bed and fall into it. I doubt I will knit tonight because I am hurting and need to take some tramadol. A hot shower might help some so I might do that first. Then to bed with the lights off.

I did sleep okay last night in spite of sleeping with the bed in a different orientation and not propped up against the wall any longer. Instead I was propped in a makeshift corner. I don't have as many problems now that I'm taking Prilosec OTC for my acid reflux and heartburn, but I don't want to find out in the middle of the night that the problem is still there. So I prop up. Besides, I've slept that way for 20+ years. I don't think I could sleep on just a pillow.

But now it's time to shut down the computer and hop into that shower.

TTFN

A blaze of energy

2012-02-13T19:49:00.000-06:00

Which is slowly fading. I tore the house apart, turning the "bedroom" back into a living room after it occurred to me that I don't have to make the bed up every day if I'm not up to it. But turning it into a company-ready room is so much quicker than rearranging the furniture if we do have company again. And part of my depression has to do with how I perceive my home. And myself.

Thing is, I'm way past exhausted right now and I'm not even close to being done. I have to move the rocking chair to the basement and find the dining room again since you can't tear one room apart without tearing the adjacent one apart, too. Can't quit now though. I won't sleep until it's done because that's the way I am, unfortunately.

Still, I think I'll get another surge of energy soon. I just need to sit for a while.

Heard back from the dr today. She called instead of having the nurse call and told us both on speaker phone what the deal is. It's definitely anemia but what kind is what we have to find out, although not from blood loss. I called my mother to ask about my aunt and it was pernicious anemia, like I thought and the dr seemed to think that genetic link was important. I looked it up online and if that's what it is, they caught it very, very early because he has very few symptoms yet. Normally pernicious anemia isn't caught until around 30 and Zach is only 23. So they will make an appointment with the hematologist, who also happens to be my oncologist. He's a great dr so I have confidence that whatever this is, we've caught it early and there won't be a problem for him in the future. Whatever kind it is, though, it's not curable. Only treatable, but the treatment is fairly easy and not terribly expensive if they caught it early. She told us not to lose any sleep over it and she's the kind of dr who doesn't lie to you so I won't.

Now I just have to get my moods back in order and get back to knitting since I haven't done any for several days. I probably won't tonight either because by the time I put the house back together, it will be after midnight and I'm planning on falling into bed for sleep purposes.

I would like to have a month go by without any major problems though. I can't say I'm a fan of all these adrenaline surges. Slow and steady works much better for me.

TTFN

I don't want to moderate but I will if I have to

2012-02-10T18:39:00.000-06:00

I got hit by a couple of spammers today in the comment section on a couple of posts. Weird thing was, one of them insulted my blog before posting their spam. LOL!! Not the best way to get me to keep the comment up there. I delete any comments that have links to online stores or such. Unless someone has asked me first and it's related to what we talk about here. But I've never seen these two before and it was obvious they had never read my blog either.

There is good news on the homefront. I am a bit better. I can feel myself climbing up out of the pit that is depression. Not bouncing off the walls, but I did do some cooking and cleaning today. Slipped a few times on the eating plan but I don't feel the least bit bad about that. I'm not bingeing....just nibbling.

Other good news is that Zach asked the lab tech today what is going on with his labs and she provided him with a complete readout of all his lab results and explained them to him. I did wonder why he was in there so long but as I was absorbed in a Reader's Digest, I didn't question it. It seems they are looking for an antibody that is munching on his red blood cells and that is what is causing his anemia. Not blood loss at all. Which means the colonoscopy and endoscopy are totally unnecessary. Plus the labs show his anemia is less than one point UNDER. So he's barely anemic. Not in danger of dying next week.

We'll wait until the next dr appointment to talk to the dr about it all but after that he wants to cancel his 'scopies. We'll wait to make sure.

I'm not saying the dr has been devious or anything. But they do tend to be a bit secretive until they know something and she's no exception to that rule. But the lab tech said that the results show that his body is fighting the antibody because his red blood cells are mostly juvenile cells. So the body is trying to repair itself.

His ferratin was a little high but she only briefly mentioned that. Not sure what that means. I hope this is the last labs he has to take for a while though. And that the dr explains what all this means.

We had to drive to the dr's office in lot of blowing snow today. Wind chills were at 0 and the roads weren't very clear but we took our time and got there and back safely. The trip there was no problem because the cars behind were taking their time, too, but on the way home the car behind wanted me to go faster and thought that tailgating would make that happen. It didn't.

Zach went out and shoveled the driveway apron for both sides tonight. Along with the sidewalks. The neighbor wasn't home and would have had a hard time getting in over the mini-wall of snow the snowplow left behind. So both he and Tom can get in the driveway, which is all I was concerned about today. And the sidewalks have to be done within so many hours after the snow starts falling...not after it ends. Normally they don't do much about it but you never know. It's done now so no worries.

I should get back to work on Zach's sweater since my mind is a bit clearer today. I think after supper I'll crawl into bed, turn on Babylon-5, which I haven't watched in about a week, and knit away. I've got some dvds from the library, including A Clockwork Orange because Tom hasn't seen it and I deleted it from the dvr inventory. Plus there is a commentary by Malcolm McDowell I'd like to listen to. I probably won't watch the other dvd because it's a documentary that someone recommended but no longer sounds exciting. I might though. I've got until Wednesday to decide before I have to take it back.

Still reading away on A Clockwork Orange and I definitely like the movie better. It's hard to muddle through all the slang and lingo the author invented for the book. Nearly done though. I started reading From a Buick 8 the other day, too. I wanted the new Stephen King book about the JFK assassination but it was out again. I'm not going to request it because it will come in when it's not convenient. They always do. Instead I'll read a bunch of books I want to read.

I still haven't manage to get through Triumph of the Moon yet. I think I might have to resort to skimming in order to get through it. Or now that my mind is coming back to play, maybe I should give it another go.

Well, off to fix supper and then off to bed.

TTFN

Still surfing that wave

2012-02-09T17:09:00.000-06:00

This is apparently a long ride this time but it will end. They always do. What would help is if I could just stay in bed and do nothing but with all these appointments and errands I haven't had that luxury.

Damned depression!

Good news is that Zach's ingrown toenails were taken care of in the office with little effort and cost. It helps if you know what to look for, I guess. So no more treatments and all we owe is the co-pay. And the doctor was really nice.

Not so good news: the dr's office called before we left and Zach's blood work raised a couple of flags and they want to do more tests so we have to run him back there for labs. I wish they would tell you what the problem is instead of being vague. I mean...it's your frelling labs; you should be entitled to the information. So off we go tomorrow afternoon for another appointment.

He found out today that he's scheduled for both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. That will eat up the $700 deductible right there. Now we need to contact the insurance company and find out if it's okay. He rescheduled since it was next week and there was not enough time to do all that. We have a month to get it all straight now. I frelling hate insurance companies. It's all about profit and nothing about the patient.

End of rant.

For now.

I got pizza for everyone tonight and I'm going to bed. Now. I didn't sleep much last night because we had to get up early; plus, Professor needed out twice. I'll get even less sleep on the day of Zach's procedure as we need to be in Fond du Lac by 9:30 a.m. and it's about an hour drive up there. And who knows how long the procedure is.

Well....I'm off to bed. I've got a sinus headache...the first in a year...so I'm taking a cold capsule, some echinacea and going to bed.

TTFN

Still riding that damned depression wave

2012-02-07T19:02:00.000-06:00

Another day riding the depression wave. It will end, I know, but I never know how long I have to put up with it. In the meantime, I'm making some changes to my bedroom/living room, which might cheer me up a bit. It's bursting at the seams with too much furniture so I'm adding something smaller so I can eliminate something bigger. Hard to explain but there is a coffee table in front of the window for the pets to have a place to watch outside, which really isn't needed so I bought a smaller ottoman so they can do the same thing. Only now I can actually get to the curtains to open them. Then I'm moving the second/game tv to the corner since I can now get to it to change out the dvds in it.

It's the little things, you know.

We got our Weight Watchers calculators today. I'll look at it later. I'm hoping to start counting calories tomorrow since WW won't work well for me. I need to start cooking better meals so Zach can learn to eat better instead of WW meals that are hardly filling or healthy. Damned depression.

I just got Tom a can of beef stew for supper tonight as I am going to bed as soon as the bedroom is done. I had thought about turning it back into a living room, where I would just make up the futon every night and morning, but it's such a pain in the ass, especially painful when I'm having a flare up of the old fibromyalgia and besides, I really do like having a bed instead of a couch. Doesn't help with the guilt feelings that I'm taking over the living room but since we hardly ever have company, it shouldn't be an issue. And Tom's family all use the kitchen table anyway.

So I've got to get this done so I can go to bed. I fell asleep early last night only to wake up around 10 p.m. I fell back asleep and woke up when Tom got home and was up until 4 a.m. after that. Then Professor wanted out at 8:30 for a wee. Then I slept until 11 a.m. It's just sleeping in fits and starts. No real rest at all. I'm back where I started.

For now, though, I'm just going to take each day on its own and not try to think about the future too much. That just adds to the depression.

TTFN

Home from ice fishing

2012-02-06T19:09:00.000-06:00

A whole lot of nothing got done this weekend. Normally while Tom is gone I clean but I just wasn't up for it this time. It happens.

He got home in the wee hours this morning because he stayed to watch the Super Bowl with his brother. Good times but the drive home was hard for him. He was a bit cranky getting ready for work this morning.

I really do need to get something done but the depression is bad right now and I'm riding the wave until it's over. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to clean. I'm doing the bare minimum now, which is enough.

I did get some knitting done last night. I worked on the bamboo-patterned socks, the dvr cover and the cover for Zach's desk. I should get back to work on the sweater but I'm having trouble concentrating due to the depression so that's off the table until I'm back to speed. I know my limitations.

Zach is doing very well on his Weight Watcher's plan. I've dropped out because the depression makes it nearly impossible to cope with that on top of everything else. When I can I'll jump back on, but maybe not WW. I might just count calories instead. It's hard enough trying to help Zach keep track. But I must say he's doing a marvelous job. Has already reached his first goal and had his points lowered. His podiatrist appointment is this week, and the upper endoscopy is next week. It will be tough to maintain his momentum with the various hurdles he has to jump over. I'll do what I can to keep him on target.

I'm heading to bed early tonight because I'm tired. Didn't get to bed until after 4 a.m. and Professor wanted out for a wee at around 8. Tom woke me up swearing loudly in the kitchen around 10:30. ..much too early for me. (He spilled something.) I couldn't get back to sleep after that. And since I didn't get a lot of sleep while he was gone due to a dog who wanted to wee every 3 hours at night, I'm dragging and a bit cranky myself. All that on top of depression.

Did I mention that depression sucks? I might have said that on another blog or seven.

Off to finish up supper and then to bed.

TTFN

I will clean tomorrow

2012-02-03T22:20:00.000-06:00

I slept late this morning. Not easy to do with the dog demanding to go out but as I had let him out at 4 a.m. he was okay holding it until I got up. And used his puppy pads, thankfully. While it did help to sleep late, I was still dragging today. No energy whatsoever. I fixed us a good breakfast using the point calculator on the WW website. I ordered both of us a pocket calculator but in the meantime I have to use the one online. Very inconvenient though.

So breakfast (at around 1 p.m.) was an scrambled egg with half a piece of cheese melted on top, laid on top of a toasted whole grain English muffin with a teaspoon of reduced calorie margarine and two pieces of turkey bacon. Seven points. A quite substantial breakfast. We weren't hungry again until around 5:30 but the kitchen was still a disaster from the other day and I just couldn't cook in there until it was clean so we figured up our points, went to McSnacky's for a salad with chicken. Then we stopped by StuffMart and picked up a few WW meals that I could pop in the microwave this weekend while I'm trying to organize the house into a place where I can see floors and counters and such.

I got a bit antsy and dug into the freezer for 3 Hershey's kisses with almonds. I don't feel guilty at all. It got me through a bad spot. I'm still not excited about this. I've done this before and failed at it but this time Zach's health is on the line so I have no choice. I have to succeed.

We were sitting in a booth, eating our salads when I realized I didn't have a bra on. For most people this isn't a big issue but my left boob was at home in my bra. I really hate wearing the bras because they're not comfortable, the prosthesis (the only one I could afford since the insurance company applies it to the deductible, which means I would have to pony up $450 for 2 mastectomy bras and a prosthesis, which looked exactly like the one I got for $40) isn't comfortable at all. It's weighted foam and a bit rigid. It digs into my armpit area making my muscle there a bit sore. So I go without a lot, but only at home. I just plain forgot to put it on before we left. Happily I didn't care. It wasn't glaringly noticeable in my sweatshirt so I just enjoyed my salad and we sat there for conversation for about an hour.

I might do it again. Soon. On purpose.

I had to pick up my metformin tonight, which is another reason we ate out again but I will have to stay home the rest of the weekend and play catch up on the house and laundry. I think Tom will be back on Sunday so I'd like to be able to enjoy a clean house for at least a day before he brings all his stuff home.

So I think I'll hop into bed now, knit for a bit and then go to sleep early. I'm sleepy enough to do that.

TTFN

What a day!

2012-02-02T19:20:00.000-06:00

First off, I'm completely overwhelmed by all the comments of support I got on yesterday's post. I'm really not an amazing person and I have been known to wallow in self-pity so I sure don't belong on a pedestal of any kind. But it sure was nice to hear words of encouragement and support. I'm a bit weepy now. LOL

I wish the rest of the day was so positive. The dr called me in to talk about Zach's lab results. As I suspected, his cholesterol needs work. His overall numbers were good, but the breakdown was crap so we have to get the weight off of both of us and right now.

But that wasn't what concerned her the most. His vitamin D is extremely low, which is probably part of what has caused his fatigue. So he's on a pill a week for 8 weeks and then we'll see if it's high enough. If not, another 8 weeks of vitamin D. Prescription vitamin D. Also his thyroid was high, which means he might be hypo-thyroid. In other words, low metabolism. But she wants to re-run it in a few weeks to make sure because once she puts him on the medicine he'll be on it for life. Also contributed to his fatigue and weight gain.

But he's also anemic, which she can't figure out. So he has to submit a sample for fecal occult blood and has to have an upper endoscopy, I think. At any rate, she thinks he might have an ulcer or damage to his esophagus. Because she can't think of why else he would be anemic. Guys don't usually have that problem.

I've had to endure comments from various family members about his fatigue (there's nothing wrong with him; he just needs to get out there and do stuff.) He's been so frustrated and depressed because he never feels good. I wonder if this started in high school when he was on psychotropic drugs (haldol) for his Tourette's and two different kinds of anti-depressants for his OCD. Back then he was sleeping 20 hours a day nearly every day. It was a good thing we homeschooled or he wouldn't have graduated at all.

We have to take him to a psychiatrist to evaluate him on his depression...to see if it's chemical or caused by these various, mysterious lab results. My life is on hold right now waiting to get appointments and find out results.

In the meantime, she put the fear of bob into us about losing weight so I signed him up for Weight Watchers. It's one more expense we don't need but we also need more accountability than we've had in the past. The online version. I would do much worse if it was an in-person meeting. So would he. This is going to be tough trying to figure out how to do all this and cut the food budget at the same time, since we'll have to pay for some of this out of pocket due to the deductible on the insurance. Not to mention his ingrown toenail appointment next week.

I don't want to burden Tom too much with this because he's got all kinds of stress at work. He doesn't need this dumped in his lap, too.

At any rate, we'll muddle through. We always do and we always will. I mean... what's the alternative? I don't have time for a complete breakdown. Although I've been thinking of scheduling one for later. 'Cause that's when I usually fall apart. After I've survived the crisis.

Off to read a bit more and then to bed because I'm really tired.

TTFN

My husband left me

2012-02-01T19:22:00.000-06:00

Of course, I had to kick him out first. He missed last year's ice fishing trip because something expensive came up and wanted to skip this year as well, but I cajoled him until he gave in. So he's off on his way up north where I hope they have ice. 'Cause ice fishing wouldn't be the same without it.

My legs are really wobbly today after that hour long hike across town yesterday. But I slept very well after I finally got the pain down to a 3. I didn't stay asleep but that rarely happens anyway. I've pretty much gotten used to it and as long as I sleep more than I wake up, I'm good.

I had a library run today where I took back the books that were due. I had renewed them just in case I didn't make it but they are safely home where they belong. I picked up A Clockwork Orange, the book, today. According to the comments on IMDB.com the movie stayed true to the book, but I'd like to read it anyway. But I'm still plugging away at Ronald Hutton's Triumph of the Moon. It's not that it's hard to read. It's that the print is microscopic. I wonder if they were trying to save paper or something. I've made it to chapter 5 finally. That's further than I made it last time I had it out of the library.

Tonight I'm going to crawl into bed and work on my knitting until I fall asleep. I'm making progress on the socks and the dvd case but now Zach has asked for a cover to put on his desk, which is a bit worn, like the altar cloth I knitted for myself. It looks like a little rug but turned out very nice. I'll get a picture of it maybe tomorrow. I picked up the yarn today which is okay since I haven't bought any yarn in a while. I think it's been a few months. I'd have to read back to see but since I can't be bothered, I'll just go with a few months. If I've lied, my apologies.

Zach has a follow-up appointment with the dr tomorrow to talk about his labs, which I'm guessing he failed. We haven't actually started our new plan yet because of the various catastrophes that keep popping up but while Tom is gone is as good a time as any to start. That is, if our legs have healed up enough to actually do something tomorrow.

For now, off to write on my other blog and then to bed.

TTFN

So much for my diabolical plan to combat the pain and fatigue

2012-01-31T18:40:00.000-06:00

My clever plan didn't work at all. I missed the threshold of pain and took the tramadol a bit late which left me tossing and turning in pain for another hour. But then again, it's usually a few hours until I can get hold of the pain. But...within a few hours the pain was back and I kept waking up every 20 minutes or so. I just said the heck with it and got up around 8 a.m.

I tried to take a nap at noon but Tom woke me up to ask me a question and I never got back to sleep.

I asked him to call the garage earlier to see when the truck would be done so he could just drop me off there and I could wait for it, even if it took a couple of hours since it's a couple of miles from here and there are some wondrous hills to conquer with my dodgy hip, but he didn't call until right before he left for work so there was no time for them to get back with him. They called an hour after he left and Zach and I walked it to pick up the truck. It took a little over an hour, because I have a really bad hip and had to stop frequently. Even sat down for a bit on a bench at the veteran's memorial...about the halfway point.

We went to town and got the cash he needs for his trip and then did a bit of shopping after stopping for a sandwich and a soda. We took an hour to recover at the restaurant but my legs are still very wobbly. Not to mention achy. I took some ibuprofen before we left, hoping that would dull the pain a bit. If it helped, I would hate to feel what it was like without it because that was a lot of pain. Still doesn't feel at all good.

So he's getting pizza tonight because I'm going to bed. I got little sleep last night, he woke me up less than half an hour into my nap, and I've walked further than my arthritic hip is happy with. I'm taking the two tramadol in just a few minutes and then crashing for the night. No knitting. No reading. Just sleep. I'll probably wake up around midnight. Or 3 or so, when he gets home. I'm too cranky to be conversation tonight and it's best if I just kept my opinions to myself lest I say something that would start an argument. He's off tomorrow afternoon for ice fishing (good luck finding ice in this weather) but I'll be cooled off by the time I wake up. I don't stay mad for long. And I'm not really mad, just annoyed.

My wobbly legs are shaking and telling me they want to go to bed. And I think right now, they're the boss of me.

TTFN

Hoping that getting control of the pain will help get control of the fatigue

2012-01-30T17:12:00.000-06:00

It was a lazy weekend for me. The guys fixed supper last night and everyone fended for themselves on Saturday so you'd think I'd be ready to go, getting tons of things done today. Nope. I slept long last night but woke up several times. Not in pain. Just woke up. So this afternoon I took a 2 hour nap. And I'm still very tired.

Damned fatigue.

I've got supper in the crock pot though. We haven't had a roast in ages so I bought one. I can get two meals out of it but they're still expensive. I've got potatoes in with it but I'll fix noodles for Zach since he can't stand potatoes. And a veg of some kind. Then I'm going back to bed, I think.

No word yet on the truck. I hope they call tomorrow because Tom wants to leave on Wednesday afternoon for ice fishing. I told them it wasn't urgent but that was before I realized this was the week he was going. I'll call tomorrow afternoon if I don't hear anything. Just to get an estimate on the time.

I haven't done much knitting over the weekend. In fact, not much at all over the past few weeks. Again with the fatigue. I hope as the sun shines more and temperatures rise I'll be able to get out more and maybe that will perk me up a bit. Right now I feel like I could crawl into bed and sleep for a week.

Not that the dog would let me.

Hopefully once we're back to two vehicles and I can get my errands done, I'll find the motivation to do more. I must say, though, that taking two tramadol for the pain is working wonders. I've had 3 nights in a row without being woke up due to the pain and when I do wake up, I'm able to get back to sleep with few problems. Having lived with chronic pain for over 23 years, I can say it's nice to have those nights when I'm not writhing in the bed, waiting for the pain meds to kick in. Chronic pain wears you out, causes depression, insomnia and many other debilitating things. I'm sure three nights without pain isn't going to solve all my problems but it's a start.

TTFN

Paying the price

2012-01-28T17:23:00.000-06:00

We are really grateful the rod broke in front of the house instead of on the way to work or me driving to the next town. Having the steering go out at 55 mph is scary to think about. The estimate for the truck is around $1000, which considering how bad it could have been, is an acceptable price to pay. Our garage people are the best. I'm beginning to think we should have them on speed-dial, though.

Tom was going to give up his ice fishing trip but I talked him into going. It's a set-back but last year something happened and he canceled his ice-fishing trip so I don't want him doing it again. He really needs these trips because he works so hard.

Not keeping the car but we are going to be more vigilant about preventive maintenance and getting the cars into the shop at the first sign of trouble instead of waiting to see if he has a day off so he can work on it.

Everyone is on their own for supper tonight as I'm taking the night off. Sandwiches all around and I'm going to crawl into bed, knit, read or watch tv as the mood strikes me.

TTFN

Another from the "we can't win" millstone

2012-01-27T15:00:00.000-06:00

Tom left for work today and made it out of the driveway. Just. He came back in and asked me to call the tow truck because the truck threw a tire rod or something. At any rate we had to maneuver it in front of the house because it was blocking the driveway and then he left for work in the minivan. We just spent $900 on the truck in November. I can't imagine this will be any cheaper.

I'm beginning to think we need to keep the car instead of selling it so we can have two vehicles running at all times. We never have both vehicles up and running at the same time for long. Ever. If Zach had had a job in the past he would have lost it for sure on account of the number of times we've abruptly been down to one vehicle. Seriously.

So I'm waiting for the garage to call back and let me know just how expensive it's going to be this time. Then I'm going to get a license for the car when I've got transportation and insure it and hope Tom will use it to drive back and forth to work in order to save on gas. Because our auto gas bill is creeping up to around $350 a month. And I only go to town a few times a week. It's not like that's far away.

I've got medical appointments coming up so I need reliable transportation. And Zach needs to either find a job or go back to school In both cases we need reliable transportation.

I think I'm going to just go into my bedroom and cry for a bit. We never get a chance to get ahead. No idea what the truck will cost but we'll have to pay for Zach's ingrown toenail situation in full because of the deductible.

Just wondering when we'll catch a break.

Oh, and the roof is leaking.

TTFN

I lied

2012-01-26T17:11:00.000-06:00

I wanted to get Zach out of the house because he's been hiding in his room (not literally) for a while so I treated him to a dollar milkshake at Culver's. I wasn't going to go out again but he needed a boost so we went. But that's the only place we went; then we came home.

And good news! The podiatrist is in our network and is only about 20 minutes away, including the time it takes to park and walk to the office. He has an appointment in two weeks and then we will get him back on his feet. He doesn't complain about the pain unless I ask but I know he's in a great deal of pain most of the time and has a hard time walking. This will fix the problem, I hope.

I need to do laundry today. I must do laundry today. But just one load. It's all I can manage on the steps. I do have a load of white/light colored clothes in the dryer that I need to fluff up a bit. So that will actually be two loads of laundry finished today. It's not really cheating.

I took the two tramadols before bed last night and the pain didn't wake me up. Much. I did wake up a bit and change positions but went right back to sleep. Most of the time I can't find another position that doesn't hurt as bad and end up waking up for an hour or so before I finally fall back asleep in exhaustion. I hate the thought of taking 2 every night but I will for a few nights and then give it a rest. I don't always have pain at night, but the nights I don't are rare. Still, I'm always shooting for that rare night, which is why I don't take the pain pills until the pain is making its presence known.

I knitted on the socks for a bit, then on the dvd case. I should work on Zach's sweater but I'm at the neck and hate the whole dividing thing. Once I've started it, I'm fine, but I'm just not fond of setting it all up. But tonight I should push myself to do it. After laundry. And supper.

It was warmer today, enough that the sidewalks are clear and the driveway is getting clear. But when the temps go down tonight the driveway will be a bit slick in spots. Putting out salt right now seems pointless but I might send Zach out later, after it cools off some.

I guess I should tackle that load of laundry. Hauling it all downstairs isn't fun. How I wish I had everything on one floor. Oh, well...I must do what I can with what I have.

TTFN

Don't make me leave home for a while

2012-01-25T20:07:00.000-06:00

I am not leaving the house for a few days no matter what. Okay if Zach has a dr appointment I will but other than that...no. I got a call last night to change my next week appointment to today so I went with it just to get it over with. It was snowing like crazy when I woke up, which made me nervous but it stopped and cleared up before I had to leave and the roads were very nice so it was no big deal.

Except it was a late appointment and by the time I got to StuffMart in the next town to us (my appointment was up in Fond du Lac) it was late and I was hungry. So I stopped and grabbed a bite to eat while reading Triumph of the Moon by Professor Ronald Hill and then went to StuffMart to get my prescriptions. In a very cleverly disguised plan to get me to spend more money, they told me my prescription wasn't ready yet and to come back in 15 minutes. Several dollars later, I went back only to be told that it would be just a few more minutes. Still more dollars later, I came back in another ten minutes to hear that it still wasn't ready and to wait a few more minutes. I was tired of spending money so I went to the bathroom and then wandered back. Still not ready. But they got it ready while I waited. I'm not upset because I hadn't really counted on that particular prescription but had come for 2 others that were ready. I just didn't want to come back any time soon so I waited for the one my dr had just called in.

So I stopped at Subway, which is located in StuffMart, and got some sandwiches for the guys and came home. The dog was happy to see me only because he wanted to go out so I let him out and sat down. Only to get back up immediately because he was having a conversation with Tank next door as only a Chihuahua and Rottweiler can. Each one insisting on getting the last word. Then my mother called so I talked to her for a while. It was a fun conversation so I really enjoyed it. But I really wanted to finish up my online stuff and go to bed. Which I'm working on now.

For some reason the cat has decided to wake me up several times a night by sitting on my chest and putting his nose in front of my face, tickling me with his whiskers. When I turn my face away, he moves his in the same direction. I move the other way; he does, too. As Bob is my witness, I didn't know cats couldn't fly.

No, I didn't. But I did think about it.

So lack of sleep has hounded me all week because of appointments and cats. And the dog, because he prefers to potty outdoors instead of his papers, which is good. Except he wants out 3 or 4 times a night. Except when it's snowing. Then he miraculously manages to hold it all night long.

Zach and I watched Despicable Me. I'd seen it before but he hadn't. He's so much fun to watch movies with because he has the best laugh. And he laughed all the way through it. But I didn't get much knitting done. A few rows on the bamboo patterned sock but that was it.

Tonight...not so much either. I'm going to crawl into bed, turn the lights out and watch something that doesn't require any thinking. If I fall asleep, I fall asleep. If I don't...well, I will eventually.

Oh, and the dr told me I'm waiting too long to start my meds when the pains starts up and that's why it's not working as well. She also said if the sciatica comes back of the pain is excruciating (never happens with the fibromyalgia, but with the sciatica...you betcha) I can take up to 8 a day without harm. Just not for many days in a row. That was good to know because one pill every 4 hours wasn't even touching the pain from the sciatica.

Now...finish up the internet and go to bed!

TTFN

So much accomplished

2012-01-24T18:02:00.000-06:00

I am seriously going to bed before 7 p.m. Thanks to Hannibal I got next to no sleep because he kept waking me up...deliberately. Four times he did that. Got right in my face and woke me up. Then ignored me once I was awake.

But Zach survived his dr appointment and even managed to remain conscious while having his blood drawn. Fortunately he got the phlebotomist who usually draws blood from my crappy veins and is a wonder at it. He hardly felt any pain at all. She didn't put him on anti-depressants though. Instead she referred him to a psychiatrist. I would love for Zach to get better but we flat out can't afford to see a psychiatrist on a regular basis, plus afford the anti-depressants. I don't know why she did it that way when all she ever does with me is offer me the meds.

So we are going to try a strict regimen of diet and exercise and if he's not showing some minimal improvement in a month, we'll find the money somehow. But I just don't know where it's going to come from. We wouldn't have a co-pay; we'd have to pay most of the bill on our own.

And...he's got to find a podiatrist because he's got two ingrown toenails that need to be operated on. There are no podiatrists in our network so we'll be paying the out-of-network fees of nearly 50%. What good is insurance if you can't afford to use it? This one we'll have to bite the bullet on because he is in a lot of pain and can't walk for long periods of time. I'll pick the one in the next town instead of driving up to Fond du Lac though. Why are the podiatrists, all of them, out of the networks? WTF??

I had tons of errands today besides the dr appointment but we got the taxes paid, the pets licensed, the water bill and Culligan bill paid and the car gassed up. Plus I picked up some stuff to help us with our diet and exercise. I'm going to count calories because that's the only way I know of to lose weight. It's the keeping it off part that I suck at. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

So...Tom is getting pizza tonight. I'm going to stick it in the oven now and he can heat it up when he gets home. Me, I'm going to bed. And probably to sleep. If I wake up at midnight, so be it. I've been fighting this all day and I'm worn out from it.

TTFN

I really, really am not a morning person

2012-01-23T19:57:00.002-06:00

Depression day again today so I haven't gotten much of anything done. Supper and some dishes washed and that's it. I have to hit the shower in a bit because Zach's physical is tomorrow morning. He's so anxious about it. Notwithstanding his fear of needles (OCD fear, not rational fear) he's anxious about what all the doctor will actually touch and what she will say to him. He's not comfortable being touched (more OCD) and he already knows he's overweight. I assured him the dr won't nag him about that but the big thing is, she'll take his depression seriously. And since she's been his dr since he was 9, she knows all about the Tourette's and OCD. So she won't treat those as non-issues, either.

Me, I'm anxious, too, but not for anything the doctor will say or do. I'm just friggin' allergic to 8 a.m. If I have to get up early, I don't sleep at all the night before because I'm too busy counting the hours of sleep I'm not getting. I've tried everything except the little blue sleeping pill to get to sleep but nothing works. And taking the little blue sleeping pill gives me a sleeping pill hangover that is worse than not getting any sleep. So I've resigned myself to not getting much sleep and taking a nap before we head out for errands.

I got some knitting done last night but not when I first slid under the covers to watch tv. I was achy and tired so I just turned the lights out and watched tv waiting for the tramadol to kick in. Tom watched part of The A-Team with me (the movie) then went to bed. I dozed off during Knit and Crochet Today but woke up before it was over so I could rewind it and watch the whole thing. Then I couldn't get back to sleep so, after tossing and turning, I just turned the light back on and picked up the sweater. Unfortunately I chose to watch A Clockwork Orange while knitting and couldn't stop until I saw the whole movie. It was nearly daylight before I finally got to sleep. It was an incredible movie. I'm not a fan of Stanley Kubrick at all but I did love this. Although it was very disturbing. But what's not to like about a young Malcolm McDowell. The acting was extraordinary.

And I can't get it out of my head. I should watch something light tonight and just not plan on knitting so I can maybe get to sleep before the sun comes up. I hope so anyway.

The weather wasn't too bad today and I possibly could have driven up north to my dr appointment but our road was a bit slick from frozen slush so I'm guessing the side roads in Fond du Lac were the same. They're saving money by not plowing as often or salting as often so our road has stayed pretty slick so far.

Since supper is over and most of the dishes are done up, I'm going to hop in the shower and go to bed now, while I'm so tired. Even if I don't sleep all the way through, at least I'll have gotten some sleep.

Damned insomnia!

TTFN

I know you don't have to shovel freezing rain, but...still not a fan

2012-01-22T18:45:00.000-06:00

The guy never showed up to look at the car but I wasn't surprised at all. I knew the price was too high for what he wanted to do but as we haven't advertised the car yet, I'm also not disappointed at all. We did waste time waiting for him to not show up but made it to the store anyway.

Unfortunately the freezing rain had started by the time we headed home. It was more of a mist, really, but the roads were slick so we bought extra sidewalk salt and put a layer down when we got home. Hopefully the salt trucks will go through and the main thoroughfares will be a bit drier.

I bought some yoga stuff today to help us on our journey toward health. I thought it might help with the stress levels and help deal with this depression that I can't take anything for. I only have room in any one room in the house for one person at a time to use the dvd and mat but that's okay, too. We'll work around that. It's a tiny house, I keep telling y'all.

I've also decided not to focus on a gimmick but just cook well and eat less and see if that helps at all. I'm not sure what to do about the emotional eating but at least I can take care of the day-to-day stuff first. Hopefully Zach will start on anti-depressants after his physical on Tuesday and that will be one of us getting help for our depression. It is much harder to deal with mine when I have to deal with his, too.

I haven't knitted much this week but I do plan on crawling into bed in a little bit. And I'm taking my knitting with me. Tom is fixing supper tonight so I don't have to cook. Just crawl into bed. And tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere because we got groceries tonight. And I can pay the bills on Tuesday after Zach's appointment since we'll probably have to go get a prescription for him anyway.

But I plan on staying home more, getting more done here and focusing more on getting healthy.

Depression really, really sucks because it puts up those barriers that keep out the mechanisms you might find to help you get healthy. It's so hard to work around that. But I just have to keep trying. Even if this doesn't work either. I've got to keep trying.

TTFN

Braved the elements

2012-01-20T18:20:00.000-06:00

I was a bit uneasy about venturing out today to the DMV but the minivan drives beautifully on snow and we were careful to take only main thoroughfares that were already plowed. Aside from our street, of course. I thought it would be a bit dicey getting out on the highway from our street but we made it with minimal slippage.

The whole title clearing took about 5 minutes and cost $10 for both vehicles. What a relief. So we have the titles and they're ours.

We did stop off at McSnacky's because I was suffering from stress overload. The anticipation far exceeded the actual events, but the stress was there anyway. Just a soda and a snack and we sat there figuring up a game plan for getting our lives back healthwise. I'm not going to divulge anything yet because I want to see if it will work first. Then after a while, if it's working, I'll talk more about it.

I did reschedule my dr appointment on Monday because we're expecting more snow and I don't want to drive all the way to Fond du Lac in snow if I don't have to. And I don't have to. My new appointment is in two weeks. I hope the weather is better then.

I turned the heat on in Tom's bedroom last night. We don't have heat upstairs...or at least in the bedroom. The outer area has a vent but hardly anything comes up through it so it's closed off. He has an oil-filled radiator that works wonderfully but he won't use it because he's a tough guy. But last night the temps were below zero without including the wind chill so I warmed his room up for him. There's no time to do that once he's home. I might do it again tonight since it never got above 5F today. I've got the space heater in the foyer again because the whole bottom of the door and the lower hinges are white with frost. The storm door doesn't do anything because it's warped (thanks to a paper carrier who didn't latch the door in a wind storm and it blew open and took a chunk of the door frame with it.) This summer we will replace both but we don't want to do it now because it would require having the door wide open for a period of time in order to install it and drill new holes for the storm door since there is nothing but wood putty for this door.

A guy is coming to look at the car on Sunday but as his business is to fix up cars and sell them, I'm afraid he might try to low-ball us on the car. Fortunately we don't have to sell it right now so we don't have to take a low offer. The car is worth every bit of $800 although I am willing to negotiate a bit. But not a lot. We just spent over $400 getting the linkage fixed before we beached it.

I didn't knit last night. I crawled into bed and turned the light off, dozed a bit and then woke up off and on until Tom got home. After that I was awake for a few hours. But aside from many interruptions from a cat who shall remain nameless but who kept touching my face every other second all night long, I slept pretty well. Except when I got a phone call from the 85th final call about wanting to offer me a lower rate on my credit card. And we're on a no-call list, too. Not that it seems to matter to them.

I should get off and start supper. I really wish I had my own cook so I didn't have to. Not my favorite thing in the universe.

I do like eating though.

TTFN

Staying home and trying to stay warm.

2012-01-19T15:07:00.000-06:00

I would like to say that out of solidarity for those who are opposing SOPA I didn't blog yesterday but the truth is that I was just too tired after errands. I get tired anyway but during a fatigue cycle, it's like trying to wade through mud all the time.

We did get some errands done but it was windy and cold so I limited those errands. I'll do the banking next week when it's warmer. Plus I have 2 doctor appointments: one for me and one for Zach. It will be a busy week. I was amazed at the library to see the kids walking out without wearing their coats. It wasn't even that warm in the library for these kids to be wearing thin, short-sleeved, low cut shirts. Let alone walking outdoors in nothing but. Sheesh.

When we got home yesterday we found a sticky note on the door. Since those are rarely good news it was with great trepidation that I made for the front door, lugging groceries. To my surprise it was a note from someone interested in buying the Concorde, which is presently under about a foot of snow (driveway is a wind tunnel so we get more snow there). Zach has been starting it but beyond that we've done nothing this winter. Tom called him this morning and the guy fixes up old cars and sells them. I doubt he will want to pay what we want for it but as we're not desperate to sell it, we'll hold firm to our bottom dollar. Still, it was nice to have that come out of nowhere.

I need to go to the DMV, though, to clear the title. I went twice before but forgot the title both times and have forgotten to go back ever since. I'll take care of the truck when I go tomorrow. Because it's too frelling cold to go today. The wind chills are even colder today and the sun shining doesn't help.

I was making good progress on Zach's sweater front when the cat jumped in my lap, snagged his claw on the sweater and pulled it. Hard. The result was a huge snag that I couldn't fix. All I could do was rip back about 5 inches. I've made it back to the armholes and an inch or so above. I didn't yell at him or do anything physical. It's not like he did it on purpose.

So I didn't get any other knitting done because I was trying to get back to where I left off on the sweater. I didn't make it but I was sleepy so I just went to bed. Fortunately I fell asleep immediately and the two interruptions to my night were brief and didn't wake me up much. Professor crawls under the covers after the lights go off but usually waits until I'm asleep, which means I have to wake up to lift the covers. The other time was pain but I was so sleepy I just turned over and went back to sleep. I can't normally do that but last night it worked.

I watched The A-Team last night. The new version. I loved it! I love Sharlto Copley anyway, from District 9. He was great as Murdoch. All over great casting. I've tried watching Priest several times and get further in each time but just can't seem to finish it. I love Paul Bettany in just about anything he does but so far I haven't loved this movie. Maybe some day the mood will suit me and I'll watch it and love it, too. Mostly I watched Babylon-5 episodes. Tom and Zach got me the entire series for Christmas and I'm taking my time watching them.

I turned the heat up a bit today since it's so cold but I'm still pretty chilled. I drank some hot tea hoping that would help but it didn't. Next I'll drink some hot cocoa. That usually does the trick. If not, I'm going to take a hot shower. I do need to put a load of clothes in the dryer. Maybe that moist heat will help. It's just so cold outside.

So I should do that: put the clothes in the dryer. And maybe get up and get some things done. I did lay some hamburger out for supper so we can have impossible pie tonight. Or maybe pizza casserole. Either one works. As long as I get busy and get it done.

TTFN

Starting to look like a winter wonderland

2012-01-17T17:26:00.000-06:00

It snowed again this morning. I went to let Professor out at around 8 a.m. and it was snowing. Enough that he wouldn't get off the porch, although we only ended up with about 2 more inches. Except where it drifted across the sidewalk. There we had about 8 inches of snow to shovel. What fun.

Fortunately our good neighbor got the driveway apron again. I'm going to get him and his wife a gift card for a restaurant around here. They do this every year. We used to be able to get out there and get it done first but then he told us to stop so we did. One year the snow plow had gone through and he was at work and no way could he get into the driveway with a 4 foot wall of snow (this was the year of 108 inches of snow) so we headed out there as soon as the snow plow went past and shoveled him a path first. Still, we get more than we've given.

We got the sidewalks and the driveway done and the truck is out on the street so we can swap vehicles tomorrow. Plus I had to move the truck out of the way so Zach could get the garbage bin out. Narrow driveway.

I worked quite a bit on Zach's sweater last night, making progress on the armhole. I've knitted about 5 inches up. Another couple of inches to go before I start the neckline. Then I worked a pattern section on the bamboo patterned socks and a pattern section on the dvd bag. I felt pretty productive yesterday. Today I'm doing more laundry. I have another load to finish for sure because I'm out of wrappings for my lymphedema. Plus I had to wash the curtains separating the bedroom. Something got spilled on them. Tom thought Professor peed on them, but it doesn't smell and it's not looking dry so I'm thinking something oily. I have no idea what it is but it looks terrible. Not sure it will come out at all. Tomorrow I'll get the other curtains but I didn't want to do it all today.

Not sure about supper tonight. I don't have anything laid out but the fish will thaw very quickly so I think it will be fish tonight. Baked, not poached this time. With rosemary and butter. And mashed potatoes (Zach can have fries) because I really want mashed potatoes tonight. Then more laundry and more knitting on the sweater. I might get the front done tonight if I get to it quick enough.

Tomorrow I have to transfer money to checking to pay the property taxes. I won't take care of that until next week but Monday and Tuesday are for dr appointments so I won't have the energy to tackle errands those days. January is bleeding me dry financially.

Off to take care of laundry and start supper.

TTFN

Stay at home Monday

2012-01-16T15:44:00.000-06:00

The weekend was a blur with the attempt at cleaning before company came on Sunday. I thought I had done okay, considering I'm in a really bad fatigue period right now, only to wake up on Sunday, open up the curtains and blinds and discover dust everywhere. Too bad. It was, for the most part, clean.

I had thought about turning my bedroom back into a living room but that would have involved rearranging the dining room, too. Because I would have to remove some of the furniture in the "bedroom" to make enough room to turn it into a living room. You wouldn't think it would work out that way, but it does. In the end, after some exhausted tears, I told Tom I just couldn't do it and he was okay with that.

We had a good time, although I am still very anxious about people inside my safe places. But we had laughs and fun and stuffed ourselves on summer sausage, braunschweiger, cheese and crackers. I'm not a big cook anymore and this was less stressful than trying to put on a cooked spread.

My knitting has suffered lately. I just don't have the energy for much. I did manage to complete about 12 rows on Zach's sweater. I'm 4 rows from starting the armhole shaping on the front. I will get back to it today. I'm also still working on the dvd bag and the bamboo-patterned socks. What I really feel like right now is a nap, though. Still not sleeping well.

I'm doing laundry today, which seems odd since Mondays have always been errand days. I'm trying to shift it all so I don't run to town because I'm used to running to town. Next Monday I have a dr appointment in Fond du Lac and Zach's physical on Tuesday in the next town. It will be a hectic week for me, starting out that busy.

But for now, I'm enjoying a clean house and will shut down here in a few and work on the sweater for a bit before starting supper. Something to do with chicken breasts since nothing else is thawed out. We enjoyed some sunshine for a while with warmer temps. Enough to melt some of the snow on the sidewalk, but it will freeze again tonight and more snow is on the way on Wednesday. Still, not a bad winter so far.

TTFN

Not loving the snow in spite of having good neighbors.

2012-01-13T17:39:00.000-06:00

Bless our neighbors. Someone, and I suspect it was two different someones, cleared both the driveway apron and our public sidewalk. So we didn't have to get up early and dig the Town and Country out so Tom could get to work. We did go out as soon as he left and cleared the rest of the driveway though. He's going to be taking the minivan instead of the truck for a while, I guess, but I did tell him that I wanted the car when I had errands and such because the truck is crap to drive. At least I think it is. It bounces me all over the place. Plus I have no place to put our shopping unless it's in the back. Which means I can only shop at one place because I can't leave the stuff in the back of the truck when I'm at another place.

I want him to put the cover back on so no one steals the bags of salt we've got back there providing weight on the axle. We were lucky no one stole it today but water softener salt is in high demand here. Nearly everyone has a water softening system because of the extremely hard water here.

Tomorrow will be a cleaning day in case we have company on Sunday. I'm not scrubbing the house down, but I do want it presentable. Not that it's not presentable now, but more presentable.

I really need to get back to knitting. Since I slept quite a bit last night, if not uninterrupted because a certain dog wanted to go out four times last night only to refuse to get off the porch and came right back in, I am feeling a bit more rested today. But errands wear me out and I still have supper and laundry to do yet.

Which I should get to right away before I completely lose interest.

Like...now.

TTFN

Why, yes...there are 24 hours in a day

2012-01-12T14:41:00.000-06:00

Ask me how I know. No sleep last night. None. Nada. The few times I did drift off, the pain woke me up within a few minutes or the pets needed out for a wee. Professor went out 4 times last night, anticipating the snow storm, I'm guessing. At any rate, he's sleeping on the bed and I'm still awake. I might crash here in a bit but I think I'll cook up supper first and leave it in the oven for Zach to turn on. Pizza Casserole sounds good.

The pain was bad again last night, maybe from the storm front moving in. Pressure changes do affect me that way. I did some knitting on the sock yarn sock. I decided to do a bamboo pattern as it's easy to memorize and easy to see in my dark bedroom. And I didn't get to the sweater at all because I was really tired. Not sleepy, but tired.

Probably won't knit tonight though because we'll have to go out and shovel the driveway out so Tom can get the minivan back in. I didn't want him to take the truck today because the roads aren't clear yet and the truck is absolute crap on the snow.I barely got the truck back in the driveway when we swapped the cars out and it's still snowing steadily. We've already got about 3 inches but the driveway has about 5 due to the wind blowing it into the driveway like a wind tunnel. I'll have to get a nap in before we got out at about midnight to shovel. Maybe my neighbor with the snow blower will get the apron of the driveway at least. I don't know, though. He's peeved at us because of the pile of branches and pallets back in our thicket. It's practically hidden from view but you know how neighbors can be. He intimated to Tom last summer that he should clean it up. Which Tom then told me to have Zach take care of. Not having any place to put the wood aside from in our garden, out of sight of the neighbor's watchful eye, I decided the wood was fine where it was. It's behind the apple tree and several bushes for pete's sake. He really has to look hard to see it.

So I guess we'll be doing all the shoveling by ourselves. The neighbor to the right is a young guy who barely shovels his own sidewalk so we can't expect that kind of neighborly trade off we enjoy with the other neighbors. Tom made Zach shovel his sidewalk a couple of times last year but he didn't return the favor. In fact, I can't seem to educate him on the propery line and he insists on mowing and shoveling well into our yarn, but as the property line is on an angle, we end up having to mow his yard in the back.

Next time we move, I want an apartment so I don't have to deal with yard work anymore. If I want nature, I'll go for a walk or a hike. All things considered we get less yard if we go by his reckoning. I don't know why the realtor didn't tell him what his property line was. You can see it on the town platt that the line is angled.

Yes, I'm cranky when I don't get any sleep.

I gave up on the front door. The heater helps to a point and no further. I can't afford to run that heater around the clock so I just opened up the curtains and am using the house temp instead. I figure the air pouring in around the door won't cost us as much as running that space heater will. We've been bombarded with all kinds of extra expenses this month that will dip into our minute surplus and I don't know if next month will be any better since Tom is going up north again for ice fishing. Zach continues to put in applications. He's put the library on hold because he heard that they don't give out references. Nothing definite but a librarian from another state told him they don't do that in order to avoid tarnishing their reputations as city workers or something like that. No sense spending the money to take him to volunteer if there is no return. I know that sounds awful but it's hard to get a job without references and he needs a job. We even briefly thought about going back to church to make those connections but just couldn't do it. It seemed wrong.

Well, I think I will go fix supper and then crash for an hour or so. I still have to clean house for my sister-in-law's visit. Tom will want the house really clean but he won't get it spotless. I'm just too tired and the house is too small to have a place to put everything.

Winter is coming at last.

2012-01-11T18:45:00.000-06:00

Another sunshiny, unseasonably warm day. Temps reached 52F I think. We dug out the snow shovels and got bags of salt for the back of Tom's truck for ballast (the truck is crap on snow and ice) and enough groceries so I don't have to go back for a week. I hope. Winter storm watch goes into effect around midnight, I think.

Also, good news on the front door. It had gotten to the point where we couldn't shut it very well and opening it was a huge struggle so I put the heater back in the foyer, only on medium high this time and the door is nearly back to normal now. I don't have to struggle to open it although it's still a bit of effort to shut it. I figure another day or so and it will be fixed.

Still not sleeping. Or I'm sleeping but just not enough. As a result I'm in a bad fatigue cycle and my sister in law is coming to visit on Sunday. I'll do what I can tomorrow and Saturday but I'm not going all out like I did when my brother in law came up and stopped in. Tom had thought he would visit for a while, but he only stopped in for about 10 minutes and then left. I had pushed myself beyond my capabilities and ended up in bed for the next few days. I won't do that again. I'll make it presentable but it won't be spotless.

I think Tom's just going to have pot pie tonight for supper because the shopping and errands wore me out (although we finally found a place to sign the recall petitions...YAY!!!) Fatigue cycles, pain and errands are a bad mix. So I think I'll just go to bed and do the kitchen tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get sleep tonight. I woke up again last night in pain and took an hour or so to get back to sleep. Once Tom is up and I hear him, I can't get back to sleep so I just get up. If I'm lucky, I don't hear him and can sleep until noon.

But, I probably will knit a bit tonight. I broke down and bought Zach a couple of sweaters on sale so when he goes out putting in applications next week, he'll look better. But I must get back to work on his sweater. He should wear it this year and not next.

So, I'm off to bed....

TTFN

Felt like spring

2012-01-10T19:51:00.000-06:00

We worked outside today because it was so warm. I tried to cut down all the tobacco plants to throw away but discovered that my shoe was nearly immersed in the mud that was the garden. I'll have to wait until it snows a bit before I can get the rest of them. But we did get the Concorde started and let it run for a bit. Even though we're not driving it, we need to make sure it's still drivable in case we get the opportunity to sell it. Then we got the trash taken out and threw the old microwave into the bin as well, since we were both out there. I might get a load of laundry started tonight as well so I can start the dryer when I first wake up. Otherwise I have to wait until Tom has his shower before I can start the washer.

Baked chicken, mashed potatoes and corn tonight for supper. If the darned chicken will ever cook. It's been in the toaster oven for about 2 hours now. The toaster oven doesn't cook as hot as the regular oven does but I thought I could save a few pennies by using it instead of heating up the whole oven for a bitty chicken. Not sure it's working out that way.

I haven't gotten back to the sweaters yet. Last night was a sleepy night and I didn't get a lot of knitting done at all. I did look at the pattern I plan on using for the sock yarn though. Other than that, I just read a bit, then watched tv and fell sleep while doing that. And I still didn't want to wake up this morning. In fact, I didn't get up until noon. Trying to catch up on the sleep I lost when I was in so much pain.

We're expecting a couple of inches of snow in the next day or two. I'm not terribly unhappy about it since we're already into the second week of January. As long as the weather doesn't play catch-up and we get a bazillion inches before spring.

Tomorrow I have errands to run and the house to clean. My sister-in-law is coming over on Sunday and the house really needs a cleaning. I don't know what to do about the mildew on the bathroom walls. I haven't gotten to it yet because of the pain and stretching to reach up and scrub it off is painful. Plus, working with bleach makes me cough and sneeze a lot. We have had this problem since we moved in. We use the fan while showering but it doesn't stop the problem. Even in the summer with the window open the whole time, we still accumulate mildew all over the walls. We're going to re-do the bathroom this spring so I plan on looking for some mildew resistant primer my mother told me about. Hope that does the trick.

He wants to renovate it now but it's too cold to paint and putting up the wainscoting before we paint isn't recommended. But we must get it done this spring. It's too humid in the summer, even up here.

Smells like the chicken is done and I'm hungry so....

TTFN

Sunny days

2012-01-09T17:38:00.000-06:00

I took some pictures today but they're on my other blog. I need to practice more. I'm a bit shaky. I'll try to get some pictures of some projects this week some time. I do miss doing that.

I'm going through a bad fatigue cycle now that the pain is under control. I never seem to be free of one or the other. I'm trying to keep up with the house but I'm not making any headway beyond that. Still, I'm knitting more than I usually do during these cycles. I organized the sweater bag, which was terribly tangled up. The yarn is now in freezer bags to prevent more tangling. I hope to get back to knitting on the sweaters very soon. I'm knitting up a bag for Zach's portable dvd player. He takes it with us on errands but for now is using a huge shopping bag I knitted and it's way too big for it. So I'm knitting one that is smaller and easier to manage. Then I'm going to knit a pair of socks with the sock yarn. I found a pattern in a book I got from the library that I plan on using.

It's been really nice the past few days: temps in the 40s and sunshine. Professor was out back this afternoon playing in the yarn. Till he got tangled in my solar lights. I just wish I had the energy to enjoy it out there. I need to refill the bird feeder tomorrow. Tonight I plan on vacuuming and just general straightening up. Not sure what to do for supper but I need to do it soon.

Well, I must go dig around in the freezer and the pantry and come up with something. Then, an early night. I need to catch up on all that sleep I lost when the pain was bad.

TTFN

Back to my old sleep patterns

2012-01-05T18:04:00.000-06:00

I slept very late today, well after noon because I didn't even get to sleep until after 7 a.m. Damned pain. Once I got it under control I was awake and getting to sleep took some effort. Well, staying asleep took some effort. I would doze off and then snap awake as if I had been startled or something. Anyway, I did errands today but Zach is going to fix supper and I'm going to bed early.

I finished up the socks last night. I have no more worsted yarn for socks this year but I still have some sock yarn to work with. I just need a pattern I love. I got a book of sock patterns from the library today and my Creative Knitting mag was in the mail box when I got home. Surely there is one pattern in all of my stash and library books that I will fall in love with.

But...Zach's sweater will be the next project. And after that, my sweater. Then, who knows? I don't plan that far in advance.

I do hope to start taking pictures of my projects, too. I still haven't learned how to operate my camera but this weekend I'll grab Zach and get a tutorial on it so I can post pictures both here an on my spiritual blog. I miss doing that.

I didn't quite read a book a week last year. Well, I think I did but I didn't count books I had already read so the books I read in January and re-read in November and all the books in between actually do add up to more than 52 books. But I think this year I'll just keep track offline and maybe talk about the books I've read if they're interesting. I did just finish a biography of Cicero, who has always fascinated me. But the only book I had read about him took a lot of liberties with his philosophies and had him a Christian long before Jesus was even born. Since reading more accurate books about him, I've come to the conclusion that I don't really like him much, but he still is a fascinating person of history. Sort of like Eva Peron. Fascinating, but maybe not the heroic figure some think she was. And Dian Fossey. You don't have to like someone to be intrigued by them.

I've got the heater back in the foyer because I seem to be the only person shutting the door these days. Zach can't and Tom doesn't shut it all the way because it's so hard to shut. It wouldn't be so bad if they would shut the curtains to the foyer, but they don't do that either. So I'm following everyone around, shutting doors and closing curtains. We'll have to get a new set of doors this summer. No way we can go through another winter like this again. The inside door has been shaved or something so there is a half inch gap on the right top of the door and the wind just blows in from there. Yet on the left side, it's a snug fit. And the gap where the latch is, funnels cold air in like a fan. Got the utility bill today and it's a bit high for what we're used to this time of year, but still way below what most people pay. It was around $126 for gas and electric.

Well, I'm off to bed to read and then watch some tv and maybe knit a bit. I dare not go to sleep now because I'll be wide awake at midnight and won't fall back asleep until 9 a.m. Not good at all.

TTFN

The after-holiday crash

2012-01-04T18:45:00.000-06:00

As usual, I make it through the stressful times and then fall apart. Consider me in pieces right now. I am doing much better than I normally do after a holiday period but the fatigue is incredible and I spent a day in pain yesterday. Although I did manage to get all my work done so Tom will have socks and underwear to wear to work. But today I had errands and could barely make it through. It's pizza again tonight because I'm going to crawl into bed here shortly.

I didn't even knit last night because I was too tired. In fact I fell asleep at 8:30 but woke up around 10 p.m. and couldn't get back to sleep until around 3 a.m. I don't think I'll knit tonight either because I'm still a bit achy. I touched my chin earlier and it felt hot but I don't think I'll take my temp as I tend to feel worse if I know my temp is up. I'll just take some ibuprofen and tramadol and go to bed.

Hannibal is doing fine. He was acting cheerier yesterday and by this morning his chin was back to normal size so we didn't need the vet this time. His stomach has settled down, too.

I'm going to dig Zach's sweater out tomorrow and get back to working on it so I can finish it. He really wants to wear it this winter. And I'm close to being done. I only need to do the sleeves, which are relatively easy. Then I want to get to work on my sweater. I'm getting tired of the small stuff. Although I found these patterns on Ravelry and am debating buying it. I normally don't, but these patterns are too good to pass up. I mean, can I really not buy the Fellowship of the Socks?

Well, time to put the pizza in the oven so I can crawl into bed as soon as it's done.

TTFN

Brrrr!

2012-01-02T14:05:00.000-06:00

The dryer is fixed and I've been doing tons of laundry, trying to catch up. I have three loads to go including what is in the washer and dryer right now. Clean clothes! And not only clean, but soft.

Hannibal's chin swelled up yesterday to huge proportions. I'm going to call the vet tomorrow as nothing is open today. It's a form of acne or something like it. I think the swelling has gone down a bit and he's not in as much discomfort as he was yesterday (why does everything go wrong on a weekend?) but if it's not significantly reduced by tomorrow morning, I'll call the vet. He's had this before but it went down on its own with just antibiotic ointment. I checked online and that's most likely what the vet will do but also with a shot of antibiotics as well. He's eating and drinking and sleeping just fine. The online site said if they were in a lot of pain, they would do some low growling and go hide. He's not growling and is keeping close to us for petting and snuggling so I think he's not in a great deal of pain. More like a sore that only hurts when you bump it. Which we're avoiding as much as possible.

We have snow on the ground that, while not a lot, is heavy and a bit icy. I put salt down on the porch and steps because Professor was having a time getting up and in the door. He's not staying out much when he goes out for a wee. He hastens back up the steps and scratches frantically on the door. Zach will have to shovel today and the wind is very bitter. I imagine it will involve a lot of short shoveling and then coming back in to warm up. We have a wind chill of about 4F today. Brrrr!

I have to go out and about today. I was going to wait until Zach got up and Tom got home but I think I'll get dressed now and get going. Well, Tom just got home so I don't have to wait for him. Anyway...need to get going.

TTFN

It's snowing!

2011-12-30T14:42:00.000-06:00

Not heavily and not sticking to the roads and sidewalk so it's beautiful. Wouldn't be if I had to get out there and shovel it.

No one slept last night for some strange reason. I woke up with pain after about 15 minutes of sleep but I hesitated to take another pain pill that soon so I waited a couple of hours. Then I slept for about 10 minutes, woke up in pain again. I didn't dare take anymore so I waited about 4 hours before taking another pain pill. At that point it was daylight and Professor needed to go out. Then I just lay in bed watching tv until Tom got up. He was up most of the night, too, but not because of pain. Just couldn't sleep. Same with Zach.

But the good news is, he's on his way to pick up a dryer belt so he can fix my dryer. I've gotten behind on laundry because it takes about 3+ days to dry a load on the racks so I've got about 4 loads piled up in the basement. And one already washed, awaiting drying in some form. He called first and gave them the number on the belt and they are holding it for him.

I've got baby lima beans soaking and pork necks frying up a bit for supper tonight. I'll drain and rinse the beans in about an hour, then pour more water in and add the necks and some onion. I'll fix some cornbread to go with it. I waited until Tom would be home because he won't eat cornbread that's not fresh for some reason so he can have hot, fresh cornbread tonight. Zach is having breaded shrimp. He cannot eat beans at all. They make him throw up. It's the texture, not the taste, which is his OCD thing. It's limiting for me when cooking so on those days when I cook beans or mashed potatoes or something he can't eat, he gets to cook his own. I got him shrimp as a treat tonight though.

The front door is sticking badly again so I have the little heater in the foyer, drying it out again. We've never gotten it fully dry yet so I might just let it dry out for a few days instead of just one. Couldn't get the door open again last night to let Professor out but by morning I could with some maneuvering.

I started a new pair of socks since I was able to knit a pair out of one skein of woolease. I was thinking of adding a diamond design in it but it's taking too much concentration right now and I have none to spare so I'm going to just knit plain vanilla socks. I'll end up with four identical socks but that is a good thing as they will probably last longer as a pair that way. One pair, anyway. I'm looking for a pattern for the sock yarn (fingering weight) because I feel a need to work on something small. I could dip into my baby clothes patterns and knit up the mountains of baby sport yarn I've got. I might just do that. Plus I need to dig out Zach's sweater to finish since he'll be starting volunteering at the library very soon. My sweater is far from completion so I should at least finish one.

Well, off to get some dishes done so I don't end up with a ton of them to do tonight.

TTFN

A great Christmas was had by all

2011-12-27T17:45:00.000-06:00

We opened up our gifts on Christmas eve because that's when it always felt like Christmas to me rather than Christmas morning. I mean, all the nativity scenes took place at night so opening up presents in the morning always seemed a bit off to me so this year we changed that. It worked out much better and we got to sleep in on Christmas morning. Except no one could sleep so we ended up mostly watching the sun rise and slept all day.

It wasn't the gifts; it was mostly everyone under the weather. I think the party on Friday wore us out and then Tom sort of let all the back pain and stress catch up with him. As a result our sleeping habits took a huge hit and I went to bed last night at 6:30 a.m., slept off and on, mostly on, until about 10 p.m. Stayed up until around 11:30 and then back to sleep immediately. Unfortunately Professor has started waking me up around 3:30 a.m. for a trip outdoors. He won't poo in the house so I have to get up with him. By the time he has scouted the whole yard, found his spot and done his business and then try to get Tank (the next door Rottweiler) to bark at him, I'm wide awake. It was 5:30 before I got back to sleep and then I slept in fits and starts until around 8 a.m. Tom got up early and was banging about in the kitchen so I ended up just getting up.

Then as soon as Tom left for work (he won't be home until around 4:30 a.m.) we headed out to pay bills and run errands. Just got home and I'm exhausted but we still have the trash to gather up, the recyclables and trash to set out, the dining room to clean up a bit and wash some stuff in the sink to hang on the racks. I did laundry yesterday and tried to hang them up on the rack but as soon as I brought them upstairs, Tom was puttering around in the kitchen and dining room so trying to work around him was bothersome. As I have said before...it's a tiny house and two people cannot function in any of the rooms.

I did get a bit of knitting done on the sock but was too tired to do anything else except watch my Babylon 5 dvd. I got the whole series for Christmas in addition to the Percy Jackson books I was missing. Zach got a hdtv, a game, controller and a portable dvd player. Tom got a new wallet and a turntable that converts vinyl to cds. He's been upstairs copying his albums all weekend. We spent far too much and won't do it again but once in a while you have to just for the sake of morale. We've avoided going into debt every year so far and end up with next to nothing for Christmas so we decided this would be the one year we celebrated. I think we can go back next year to our mini-Christmases but we needed this one. And we didn't go thousands in debt.

I'm going to stick the pizza and bread sticks in the oven and get the trash sorted and then go to bed. I'll clean house tomorrow. Too tired tonight.

TTFN

Happy Anniversary and Merry Solstice

2011-12-22T14:46:00.001-06:00

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary but as neither of us has a romantic bone in our bodies, we settled for gifts last night when he got in from work. I got a lovely black cardigan with black sequins on it. He handed me two gifts but I wanted to wait to open the bulk on Christmas since I usually only have one gift to open. Now I'm rethinking it as the other gift goes with my sweater and I have nothing to wear to the Christmas party tomorrow night.

I got Tom a Warren Zevon cd: Excitable Boy, which happens to be my favorite of his albums. He was quite happy about it since he only has a cassette of it now but no cassette player.

We let Zach open a present for Solstice as well. We got him a Bowser plushie (from the Mario games) and he was thrilled with it. I'm getting really anxious for Christmas so I can see their faces when they open their gifts.

Yesterday was another fatigue day with errands (and I forgot Tom's back pain medicine so I have to go back tonight) and hanging up a load of laundry on racks. I didn't get the kitchen cleaned up so I plan on just loading up the dishwasher instead. And we must work on Zach's room today because he will need a clean room on Christmas morning because of one of the gifts we got him.

It was after 6 a.m. when I finally got to sleep but I didn't stay asleep, even then. The city were out with their snow plows because we got about 2 inches of snow last night. It looks nice and fortunately the sidewalks are warm enough it has melted off of them, but I'm not enthused about snow this year at all. I still haven't recovered from the year of 108 inches of snow that we had to manually remove from the sidewalk and driveway.

I frogged the ocean socks after making a mistake in the pattern early on and just went with plain vanilla socks. I'm tired and even knitting isn't exciting me right now. I know I'll bounce back soon but for now I just want something mindless. I got three responses to the baby boucle yarn and the first person to respond is supposed to pick it up today. I've got two people to fall back on if not. I've got some worsted boucle in the cabinet that I might use to crochet up a shawl for the rest of winter but then again, maybe not. I really don't like working with boucle.

I'm thinking that I might not dye my Welsh top singles, instead just knitting up some socks out of it. Depends on how it feels next to my skin though. Not this winter, but next, maybe. I do need to work on my fleece, washing and carding it so I can spin it. I still have my practice fleece, already scoured and needing to be carded. It's good enough to use for something that doesn't rest on the skin and honestly it doesn't feel that much different from the Shetland wool.

Well, the woman called about the yarn and will be here soon so I had to clean up the kitchen really quickly and will vacuum as soon as I sign off here. Still much to do today including the bird feeder and Zach's room.

TTFN

Getting excited about Christmas, at last

2011-12-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

I didn't get a ton of things done today but I did get some important things done. I went through the plastic drawers of yarn I had and eliminated some of it (it's getting no response on freecycle so far), put most of it in bin bags and moved it all down to the basement. I won't be using any of this yarn any time soon so there was no point in it taking up space in my bedroom. In place of the plastic drawers is the Christmas tree. A much better spot for it since none of the clothes I put on racks in my bedroom dry within 3 days. After Christmas I'll put my rocking chair in place of the tree and have a place for someone to sit to watch tv, at least.

Supper is done although not my best effort. I'm not really good with fish. I don't care for it and can't seem to cook it in a way that I like. Zach said it was good though. I just poached it in butter and rosemary. I guess if everyone else likes it, I did okay. I also used a new pasta with butter and a better version of parmesan and asiago cheeses. That was pretty good. A little parsley, too.

But now it's time to wrap the rest of the presents and hop into bed to knit until I finally fall asleep. It took a while last night but eventually I made it. I just can't seem to stay asleep. Good thing I don't need to get up the next day. I did better when I was getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night but now I'm back down to about 6. Part of it is the dog, part is Tom getting ready for work. It's hard to keep quiet when the kitchen is just steps away from the bed. He tries but sometimes it just doesn't work.

I'm mostly working on socks exclusively but tonight I might do some darning. This is the last year I use Woolease for socks. The socks I knit last year are already thinning enough to need repair and the socks I knit 3 years ago out of Lion Brand wool haven't got a single thin spot on them. It costs more but in the long run, it will be less expensive.

Plus, I plan on getting back to sweaters in the next day or so. Tom will be home a lot the next couple of weeks although he has to work 2 twelve hour days next week. I laughed since he already works 12 hour days. I'm guessing this means he'll be working 2 fourteen hour days. But then he gets a 5 day weekend for New Year's. He really does need it. I plan on just knitting while he's home since I can't clean while he's here. The house is way too small.

Off to start the dishwasher and then off to bed.

TTFN

Oh, crap.

2011-12-19T18:07:00.000-06:00

The fatigue is back, damn it! I didn't get a lot done over the weekend although there are presents under the tree. Too many of them are mine, in my opinion. This is supposed to be Zach's big year. We're going to wrap Tom's presents tonight to add to the pile.

I let the kitchen get away from me this weekend, but to my credit I have to state that Tom used more dishes than we own and I couldn't keep up. Or I could be exaggerating a bit. Still, I couldn't keep up with all the dishes and finally just went to bed. The counters were full and both sinks full when I got up. I was tempted to go back to bed. Which I did a couple of hours later. Damn fatigue.

I got the shopping done but didn't do any other errands. I'm just too tired. I'll get them on Wednesday. We have a family party on Friday, I think but I really don't have any dressy clothes to wear. Maybe just jeans an my Christmas fleece sweater with sparkles on it. I've got nothing else.

I finished up a pair of bed slippers for Zach and am working on a pair of Ocean socks for me. I've decided to knit the yarn up for just us this year. I'm barely making it through the days again and need to work on our stuff for a while. As it is, we'll be having corn dogs for supper tonight because I'm so tired.

And my left arm is really hurting when I type because it's wrapped up in my lymphedema wrappings, which are always painful, which is why I don't wear them like I should. But my clothes aren't fitting because my arm is more than twice the size it should be. They don't make clothes for women with big arms.

Off to go lie down and let Zach fix supper. I hate the fatigue worse than the pain.

TTFN

A blustery day

2011-12-15T18:31:00.000-06:00

Very strong winds today, making it difficult to drive the minivan. It would have been bad enough in the Concorde but the minivan captures more of the wind, making driving on back country highways a bit of a workout.

I had intended to go out as soon as Tom left for work but just as he was leaving someone from my old fundie church pulled up and came to the door wanting to visit. I'm awful about unexpected company which is a reason I don't like to drop in on anyone unannounced. So we sat at the dining table because the couch is now a bed, and talked for 3 and a half hours. I like her well enough although we have little in common anymore, but her timing was just not good. As a result I didn't get out until it was dark (which happens around 4:30 here) with strong winds and very cool wind chill.

So I'm just now getting home and had to pick up supper because I'm super tired, having gotten only about 2 hours of sleep last night. I will never eat chili again at night. It sat on my stomach like a rock all night long, in addition to the pain, the heat (in spite of lowering the thermostat, the temp inside never got below 56F, which isn't good sleeping weather for me) and the pets who insisted on body contact all night, I didn't get any sleep.

I also found out my pain pills may be causing my insomnia. Or at least exacerbating it. So what do I do? The pain keeps me awake anyway so I might as well be awake with as much relief from pain as possible.

So I didn't drift off until about 10:30 a.m., waking up at 12:30 a.m. to a face-washing by Professor, who uses that to tell me he has to go outside RIGHT NOW! Tom was in the shower so I had to get up to let him out. And no nap because I had company and then had to go to the store to get Tom some more pills for his back pain (Doan's, which seems to be working rather well) and milk. I was good and didn't buy much more than I needed.

Except I bought a lumberjack hat. It was freaking cold out there and my new knitted Greek fret hat kept trying to blow off my head because it's not snug enough. My lumberjack hat has a chin strap and a bill on it to keep out the rain and snow. And I wanted one anyway so...

I frogged my mom's sock because I had messed up way back on it and being a perfectionist, couldn't just let it go. Plus, I wasn't that crazy about the pattern once I saw it on the sock. I'll find something else that takes better advantage of a plain color. In the meantime I worked on the fingerless mitts for Zach.

I still don't have the tree up. I will try to get it tomorrow although I need to pick up one more gift for our anniversary for Tom and that must be tomorrow as well, since I need to go to the bank to deposit a check I got as a result of a settlement from an online company that promised jobs or your money back and then locked people out of the website so they couldn't request their money back. I had just shrugged the money off but I got $10 out of it. I paid $40, but this is better than nothing.

Off to crawl into bed and maybe just go to sleep. No knitting or anything. Just sleep.

TTFN

Broke the roll I was on

2011-12-14T21:00:00.000-06:00

Crap.

So much for the roll I was on. I've spent most of the day in bed, dozing occasionally, getting nothing done. Not even some knitting. I have no idea why except I enjoyed being productive for as long as I was. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I can only hope.

I fixed chili for supper tonight which is the equivalent of fast food for me since it doesn't require a lot of attention. But it wasn't what I wanted to eat. I did save a lot of money by not going to McSnacky's instead but it's not like I get to pocket the money saved.

I did get some reading done today. Finished up Howl's Moving Castle. I loved it. Much different from the movie, which is okay. No way they could have put it all on there anyway with the twists and turns the plot takes. But I did love the book. Now I must get more of her books. Zach swears by her Chrestomanci books so I might try them next.

I do still have another library book that I'm reading. The sequel to First Man in Rome, called The Grass Crown. They're good books since they are historical fiction, I'm leaning heavily on the fiction part as I read them.

There are several more after these two, continuing with Julius Caesar, one about the women he was involved with and maybe one more...not sure. I don't know if I'll continue with them or move to Pern as I'd like to read more Dragonriders of Pern books now that Anne McCaffrey has moved to brighter shores. She and her son had collaborated on several books that he will now continue on with alone. I loved those books but haven't read them for years.

And still...knitting calls to me. I can't find my gold mitts so I'm making another pair so Zach has two pair of mitts. His purple ones are dirty and need to be washed so he's wearing a pair of mine in the meantime. I'm also thinking of knitting him some slipper to wear over his socks. His feet get so cold in his room. The rest of him is fine except for his feet. I usually crochet slippers but I've got an idea for a pair of slipper socks that he can wear over his other socks. In acrylic, since it won't be next to the skin. I can't wear full acrylic socks. They really bother my feet. Woolease is fine, but 100% acrylic...no.

I made progress on my mother's sock last night although with size 1 needles, it's slow going. Still, it's a two row pattern and doesn't require tons of attention. A bit, but not tons. I've got enough Woolease to make my dad a pair of heavy socks but I won't be done before the new year, which is fine. I usually send out a care package after the holidays since those are the days that are more depressing. The afterglow is gone and reality sets in.

So, I must go crawl back into bed and maybe just go to sleep. I'm fighting it right now and can't figure out why I don't just give in to it.

So...

TTFN

I'm on a roll

2011-12-13T18:22:00.000-06:00

Today was another productive day although I still don't have the tree up. Yet. I will probably go get it as soon as I finish writing this. I have supper cooking on the stove...spaghetti, this time, and bread rising in the loaf pans. I have wet laundry hanging on racks in the kitchen, dining room and living/bedroom. I moved the curtain over the front door to the foyer side of the doorway so I have two curtains there as a double insulation. I can't use the curtain over the door because it has warped it but the foyer curtain never seems to be shut due to family members not bothering to shut it when they go through it. The extra curtain stays closed, thereby ensuring some kind of insulation.

I frogged a good deal of my yellow and black Greek fret hat, making it into a square hat rather than a beanie. I have no idea what it looks like on me, but it feels warm and doesn't squeeze my head. Therefore it tends to stay on. So I'm nearly done with the blue and white blanket that I started many months ago. I think in the future I'll stay away from boucle yarn. I really don't enjoy knitting with it at all. I had intended to donate the blanket to the animal shelter but Hannibal has claimed it and Professor slept under it last night so I think they will be getting it for Christmas. Or maybe a little earlier. I still have a log cabin pink and white one I'm working on and since I only used half of the two skeins of blue and white boucle, I might incorporate the blue into the pink and white. Which will leave me with tons of pink and white left over. Maybe just more garter stitch blankets. I could do with mindless knitting.

I'll probably finish up Zach's sock tonight and go back to knitting on my mother's socks. Then I need to pick up Zach's sweater and finish it. I'm more than halfway done with it so I might be able to finish it up while it's still cold enough to wear it. We're doing okay with the heat down to about 58F during the day and 50 at night. I'm a bit worried as Tom has re-joined the pension program which means a significant decrease in his take-home pay. And I do mean significant. This, after just buying a car and having car payments. Plus if they don't extend the payroll thing, we'll have even less money to work with. The utilities and grocery bill are the only things that are flexible so that's where the biggest cuts will have to come from. But we do need to have something to live on when he can't work anymore. So it's a huge rock, a hard wall and little space in between.

I would drop part of our cable but we're locked in for another 11 months. At which time I'll drop down to a cheaper package but keep the dvr box. With that I don't need the movie channels. Especially as our library is better than Netflix. And free to use.

I think I'll wait until tomorrow to put the tree up. I'm waiting for the bread to bake and supper is almost ready and I'm more than ready to knit and watch tv so the decorating can wait. Fortunately we got a lot done today and Zach finished up his chores early so I don't have to worry he'll forget to set out the trash. Not that he ever does, but I'm just a worrier by nature.

The spaghetti is done so I'm signing off and shutting down the computer. I got Howl's Moving Castle (the book) from the library yesterday and love it! Plus I've got two other books I'm reading, too. So many books, so little time.

It's not beginning to look like Christmas yet

2011-12-12T18:08:00.000-06:00

I spent a lot of time offline all weekend and was pretty productive so I think I'm going to strive toward that on a regular basis. Getting things done felt good, it did. But I still don't have the Christmas tree up yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Tom's back is still bothering him. I went to the store and bought him another back heating thing, only better quality. The first one only seemed to fit a 30 inch waist and while Tom is still pretty fit, he doesn't have a 30 inch waist. He really likes the new one and wears it a lot. Today I had to run some errands so I got him some Doan's pills. My mother used to take those whenever she had a backache. I hope they do the trick for him. He's probably marginally better but not where he would like to be. I did point out that he has only had 1 and a half days to rest so he can't expect everything to be suddenly better. I hope things do improve for him over the week.

I finished up my hat but it's too heavy and slides off my head. Not sure what I can do about it but I'll figure something out because I want to wear the hat. I might just shorten it to a beanie size so I can wear it. I've turned the heel on the second of Zach's blue and plum socks. I made these identical rather than a mirror image of each other. I don't know what came over me. I need to get busy on my mother's sock, too, so I can get back to sweaters. Spending less time online gives me more knitting time in addition to getting more cooking and cleaning done. I actually ironed today. I know...what a rare occurrence for me.

I'm thinking of macaroni and cheese tonight because I'm stinking tired from the errands and not enough sleep and it's easy, peasy to fix. I've got some lettuce I need to use up so we can have salad to go with it. I was going to wash a load of clothes and hang them on the rack but I may not get to that tonight. I might get them washed but I'll have to hang them on the racks tomorrow. I'm that tired.

I've had to stop shutting the curtain over the front door. It gets wet from condensation and has warped to the point where it's very difficult to shut completely. It may take several days to dry out as we're expecting rain and snow the next few days. We can get it shut but it's a struggle and the only way to keep it shut is to lock it. Fortunately it works better doing that outside the door so I can lock it when we leave the house. Still...I'll have to rely on the curtain over the foyer opening to keep the cold out and the heat in.

I filled up the bird feeder yesterday and had about 30 birds fighting over them today. Actually they fought over one of the feeders. They are identical feeders with identical bird seed in them, but they all seem to prefer one over the other. It was fun to watch though.

Still not snow of any significance and I'm not complaining. We're expecting some rain/snow over the next day or so, moving into just rain on Wednesday. I don't even mind if we don't have a white Christmas. I'm so tired of shoveling snow.

Well, I must get busy on the mac and cheese so I can wash up the dishes and crawl into bed. I hate this fatigue but I am glad I've gotten some things done lately. It's just sad that I get so little done and think that what I do get done is amazing.

TTFN

Sharing the back pain with those you love

2011-12-08T18:09:00.000-06:00

I got an email from the pharmacy that I had meds ready for pick up so I went ahead and did errands today. Only to discover it was a mistake. The meds won't be available until the 11th, as per the insurance company. But as I was already there I picked up the things I needed anyway. One thing being a heating thingy for Tom's lower back. His back has been hurting for a couple of days but this morning, after his shower he overbalanced and wrenched it. I really expect him to come home early tonight as I have never heard him roar in pain like that before. So I pasted him good with an analgesic cream and picked up a clay wrap around thing so he can wear it at home. It's too bulky to wear at work but maybe he can get relief at home.

Getting old really sucks.

So because I was doing errands I didn't get much else done. I had a bad night again from pain, another 3 tramadol night, and it was after 8 a.m. before the pain left and I could sleep. I had a dream about the reusable Walmart shopping bags. Someone asked me if I liked them and I said yes. Why can't I have dreams that are interesting?

The bed was very comfortable so at least there was that. And easily made up in the mornings. I don't have to exhaust myself with folding all the bedclothes and moving furniture. It's just a matter of pulling up the covers and arranging the pillows.

I didn't get as much knitting done last night as I would have liked. And I really do need to work on socks more but knitting in the round is so zen...all that mindless knitting is relaxing. But tonight I must put the hat aside and work on socks. And I really need to get back to sweaters before it's spring. Not to mention dyeing my singles so I can ply them. Now that the kitchen is clean I have no excuse.

The toaster oven just dinged to let me know the pizza is done so I'm going to cut it and then crawl into bed to knit the night away. And catch up on whatever is on my dvr inventory.

TTFN

I must learn to proofread

2011-12-07T16:55:00.000-06:00

No, I'm not making a hat for peeping Toms. I meant a voyageur hat, not a voyeur hat in my last post. Do you know when it occurred to me what I had written? At about 3:30 a.m. It woke me up from a dead sleep. How embarrassing.

Zach and I did some work outdoors today, putting things in the garage for the winter. I still have a few things to put in there, but we had to wrestle the futon out of the garage and into the house. Then maneuvering the full size futon under the other full size futon, bearing in mind that it's like dealing with dead weight since it has no frame to it...and bends in the middle...in tiny room...is hard work. I think I lost weight doing that.

But I have more of a bed now, although a soft one. Personally I prefer a soft mattress to a firm one so maybe this will make sleeping better and less stress on my joints and muscles while sleeping. It definitely is higher now so I'm not crawling out of the bed anymore. I can just sit up and then stand without needing to pull myself up on anything.

Professor insisted on being part of making up the bed. He always did that in the evening when I would try to turn the couch into a bed, going where I pointed so I could work on one section at a time. He did the same thing today only it was a bit more difficult. He seems to love the softness, too.

I've got a chicken in the crockpot but it won't be ready before 6:30, which is okay since we had a late lunch. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do with the chicken. Probably chicken and noodles or something. I'm trying to stretch the chicken into 3 meals, which shouldn't be that difficult at all. I just need some interesting recipes so we don't get bored.

I'm working on the top portion of the hat now. I'm not sure when I'll start decreasing since I'm winging this. Maybe I'll look up a voyageur hat pattern and get an idea. In the meantime I should start the second sock before I forget how I did the first one.

I think we'll put the tree up tomorrow and decorate the house. I don't have anything else planned and hope not to go to the store or library for at least five more days. I hope. I also need to wash another load of clothes so I'd better clear up some space in the dining room for that. Maybe I'll do that later tonight. Or tomorrow.

I also need to look up an ornament pattern. I add one every year and lately have started making them since I can't find what I want in the stores. I didn't see anything at the thrift store either, but their prices are comparable to the department stores, which is a bit silly. I wonder sometimes at the people who price things there. I've seen stained t-shirts in the women's section going for more than new ones at StuffMart.

Time to get back to knitting. I'm getting a lot more done these past few days and I'm loving it. Hopefully I'll find time after the house is decorated to dye my singles so I can ply them.

TTFN

Everything old is new again

2011-12-06T17:49:00.000-06:00

I didn't get much sleep last night, in part because the dr's office called first thing this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep after that. But it was good news. My cholesterol levels are nearly at goal and my liver numbers are improving. I have no idea why since I'm not doing anything in particular. Except I'm not dieting anymore. Not worrying about it and some days not eating much at all. Enough, but not much.

I had a burst of energy last night and turned the living room back into a bedroom again. Hence the title. I get really wiped out making up the bed and then making up the couch, twice a day. I really have that little energy that it uses up what little I could be using toward cooking and cleaning. So...not ideal as it's the futon, but better than the full size bed and awful mattress I was using before. I'm going to bring the old futon out of the garage and use it under the new one to give me extra stability. And height. Plus it will protect the old futon from the elements out in the garage. It's put up so the mice can't get to it, but still...

Tom was okay with it since we don't have a lot of company and his family never sit in the living room anyway. They socialize at the dining table. I can't do that because it hurts my back too much to sit on hard chairs like that, but they seem to love it. Besides, Tom hardly ever uses the living room himself. He prefers to watch tv in his bedroom where he can smoke and go on the computer. So, in essence, it was my room anyway.

I finished up one of Zach's socks last night but ripped the Greek fret hat because it was too small in spite of adding more stitches. So I'm going with a bigger needle but decided to make it a long hat instead of a beanie type. More like a voyeur hat or a stocking hat. I'm going to wing it as I don't have a pattern for it, but that shouldn't be too hard. I just decrease more slowly than I would with a beanie. I think it will be a good fit for me as beanies always slide off my head. Upward. I must have a pointed head or something.

I had to make another trip to the store because Tom was out of his cranberry capsules. He has problems with occasional kidney infections and the cranberry capsules keep him from getting them. If he remembers to take them . He decided he didn't need them anymore and woke up this morning with a back ache. I gave him my back support thingy to wear since it has much better support than his does and sent him off while I went to the store to get the capsules. While there I picked up some kitchen stuff I needed. Dirt cheap stuff, like a dollar or so but it's one of those things you never get because you don't think you need to spend the money on it. My rubber spatulas are falling apart and I needed a new pair of tongs so I got them while I was there. In addition to some bread and a few staples so I don't have to go back for several days. I hope.

Zach brought the clothes in off the line while I was gone and they were dry. It was sunny and windy today (windy yesterday but cloudy) so they are nice and soft and smell really good. I picked up a long bungee cord to string from the hutch to the ironing rack on the wall under the heating vent so I've got some socks and my lymphedema wrappings that I hand-washed. It saves me the space for one rack, at least although some of the people in this house will have to duck a bit when they go into the kitchen. Not me, of course. There are advantages to being short. But I have the towels I used to absorb the water from them on a rack in my bedroom. Out of the way so it's no problem. I can clean up one area in the dining room that has some stuff from the car and a basket of my knitting (if I can find a place to put that) so I can get another rack there. It's in front of the vent as is the one in my bedroom so they should dry well. If I can find another place for the remaining rack, I can get maybe two loads of clothes washed at once. In an emergency. I wouldn't need to do that otherwise.

Well, I've got supper cooking...some kind of pasta dish. I'm making it up as I go along. Then after the dishes, I'm falling into bed. That I don't have to make up tonight. Which makes me very happy.

TTFN

Plain old Monday

2011-12-05T17:12:00.000-06:00

I have two loads of clothes hanging out on the line, probably frozen stiff. But today at least they had a lot of wind although none of the promised sunshine. I'll start bringing some clothes in to hang on racks tomorrow if they aren't dry by then. I doubt they will be but I had to wash them, having gotten behind. And I'm not entirely sure where I'll put the racks up but with them on the clothesline and no rain in the prediction for the week, I can afford to just utilize one rack at a time. Two if necessary.

I got Zach out of the house today. Tomorrow I'm going to set up an appointment with the dr for a physical so he can get attention for his depression in addition to a wart that is in a difficult place (thumb) and his ingrown toenails.) I just hope his doctor will still see him. He hasn't been in a few years and sometimes they remove you from their patient list if you don't go regularly. But she did ask about him when I saw her so maybe she'll still see him anyway.

Tomorrow I intend to turn the living room back into a bedroom for the winter at least. I'm the only one who ever uses it and not having company ever we don't need to entertain at all. Plus I can stick a chair in there if someone wants to watch tv or something. It takes about 15 minutes to make it up into a bed and another 15 minutes to make it up into a couch. Not to mention what it does to my back, which the dr agreed was probably sciatica, but I will talk to the rheumatologist next month about it.

I'm nearly done with the hat to go with my mittens with flaps. I'm using a Greek fret design with ribbing. I'm about ready to start the decreases. It will be a bit of hit and miss as I'm making this up as I go along. The fret pattern is in the Barbara Walker book, volume 1. Instead of using a mosaic pattern, I did a stranded knitting pattern as I didn't like the way it looked with slipped stitches. Plus this is going to be warmer with all that extra yarn around my ears. As with the mittens, it will be yellow and black. Just using up my stash.

I also need to get back to knitting socks. I've gone too long on Zach's sock foot. This is what happens when you knit while watching something riveting on tv. I'll have to rip back a ways since I'm about 2 inches too long already without the toe decreases.

I had a day last week when I just couldn't pick up my needles. I had absolutely no interest in knitting at all. Fortunately by the next day I was eager to pick them up again. Whew! I would hate to have that feeling for more than one day.

Well, I need to fix supper and make up my bed and crawl into it. I'm sleeping later so I'm getting more sleep. And maybe better sleep, but trips to town on errands still wear me out. I would love to have energy again but I'll settle for this miniscule amount I get for now.

TTFN

Passed my labs after all

2011-12-02T20:37:00.001-06:00

I had my six month follow-up to my physical which apparently is a new thing and not me having done badly on my labs. In fact, my labs were much improved. To my total amazement as nothing has changed in the way of my eating habits. But I'll take what I can get. I got all anxious for nothing. As usual. I also got a flu shot while I was there and some cholesterol labs. I was due at my last labs but they didn't include them which irritated the dr. Fortunately I hadn't eaten yet so I was able to do the fasting labs.

Unfortunately the appointment was later in the day and I got home after the sun had set, which I think is kind of cool that the sun sets before the doctor's office closes. But when I went to call Zach to tell him I was heading straight to the store, my phone wouldn't connect. Instead it told me I needed to either use my credit card or call collect. So I had to come home and borrow Zach's phone while he called Tracfone to straighten it out. Turned out they hadn't connected my phone to their service so it was just a phone with no provider. That would explain why I couldn't get on the internet. Now I can. As a reward I upgraded Zach's phone with extra minutes and a year's service.

This season is breaking the bank.

I got another present for Tom because I couldn't see just one little $10 gift under the tree for him. It's not much but I hope he likes it. Zach borrowed my credit card for some online purchase but I'm not supposed to peek at my account for a while. Apparently he and Tom have something set up. This is supposed to be Zach's year so I hope they haven't spent much on me.

I did get one of Zach's presents today. I haven't looked at it but I threw it in a corner of the living room where Zach wouldn't notice it. I'll see it tonight after I make up the bed and close the curtains. I haven't got the tree up yet. I'm waiting a while because I get really tired of the decorations and have been known to take the tree and decorations down on Christmas afternoon. I don't know when I'll put the tree up but I know where. This year it will be in the living room on the coffee table in front of the windows. That's the pets' catbird seat but they can spare half of it for the tree. It's just a tabletop model that I don't even take the ornaments off when I put it up. I just put it in a black garbage bag and shove it in a closet. I'm so sentimental.

I finished up my black and yellow mittens with flaps. And promptly lost one. It fell our of my pocket but luckily it happened in the living room. I did an awful lot of backtracking looking for it though. I made them mirror images because apparently I can't stand symmetry. All my socks end up like that, too.

I'll be back to knitting on socks tonight now that I have mittens to keep my hands warm. Must have feet warm, too. I've got lots to watch on dvr although I've been breezing through my inventory at a faster rate. I've got dvds to watch, too, but I don't like to get my inventory too high in case I need to accumulate stuff while out of town or something. Emergencies, you know. Still, I'm spending less time online and more time knitting so that's good. I just need to get busy on my fleece and dyeing my singles so I can ply them. No idea what I'll knit them up into though. I suspect Welsh top won't feel good next to the skin.

Tomorrow I'm going to do another load of clothes. I'm using racks now but I don't have a lot of room to put them. I just moved the tv off to the side of the dining room so I can see it from the kitchen. It's so boring cooking and cleaning so if I can keep my mind occupied, I might actually cook more. And clean more. But that eliminates two spots for the racks. Which wasn't ideal because it blocked off the heating vents partially. I think the living room while I'm in the dining room and kitchen and move them to the dining room when I'm in the living room. They're very lightweight. The one in the kitchen won't be in the way so that one isn't a problem. And I can get a whole load of clothes on 3 racks. It just takes them about 3 days to dry. Can't hang them out because snow is predicted. And it's around freezing. That wouldn't be a problem if we had a good wind but we haven't had that lately.

Well, pizza is in the oven so I'm off to make up the bed and knit away. My favorite time of the day.

TTFN

Christmas shopping is done...mostly

2011-11-29T17:08:00.000-06:00

Well, Zach's Christmas is done. Since we didn't get him anything for graduation and because his Christmases have been extremely frugal for the past 10 years or so, we splurged a bit for him. Not extravagantly by most standards but a lot for use. Bless his heart he wanted to get me something I've wanted for a long time now: the entire Babylon 5 series, but I told him this year is his.

I didn't get much done today aside from shopping and I'm thinking of going back because I didn't want to leave his presents in Shrek (our minivan) because 'tis the season for people to break into your car in parking lots so I'll go back and get the few things I didn't get when I was there. This way I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow. I hope.

I had to stop by the library or I would have waited until tomorrow. I really must wash a load of clothes so I'll do that tonight and hang them on racks tomorrow morning. No point doing it tonight as there won't be any head coming out of the vents until morning. I'll kick the heat up a bit to 60F so the clothes will dry. We've been doing okay with the thermostat sitting on around 56F because we wear layers. And Zach has a heater in his bedroom to take the chill off since his room stays cold no matter what the thermostat is sitting on. If I'm busy, 56F is fine. If I'm sitting on the couch knitting, I have the blanket across my lap anyway so I don't need it up any higher. Unless it's raining out. Then I turn it up because the cold just settles in the bones and stays there.

I started a pair of Glomitts, the kind I knit for everyone last winter. I love them because they keep me warm enough to shovel snow but I can use my fingers when I need to. I dug into my stash and found a couple of skeins of yellow and a couple of skeins of black Vanna's Choice yarn so I'm knitting them in black and yellow. My coat is black so they will look good together. And I have enough to knit up a hooded cowl to go with it for those days when I don't need my lumberjack hat. I'm using Tom's this year since I lost mine on the night we got stranded and didn't get home until after midnight. His is fur lined.

I'm still working on socks though. I'm nearly done with one of Zach's socks and need to get busy on my mom's fingering weight socks. I really need to stay home so I can do that.

The ottoman already has snags on it from the cat, which is why I didn't use good yarn. Hannibal has claimed the ottoman as his own although he hasn't, as yet, sharpened his claws on it. The damage has been from him launching off of it onto the couch. Luckily between the flecks in the yarn and the mini-basketweave pattern, it doesn't show much.

I'm thinking chili for supper tonight because it's a one-pot meal and I'm feeling really tired. Maybe too tired to go back to the store, darn it. Maybe a light nap before I do anything else. Or maybe I'll just make up the couch and go to bed now and let everyone fend for themselves. Nah...wouldn't be fair to Tom who works long hours. And I mean long.

So, I'm off to fix supper, start a load of clothes and then maybe go to bed. I'll go shopping some other time.

TTFN

The hunter returns...without

2011-11-28T19:00:00.000-06:00

I pretty much know what we're getting Zach this year for Christmas. I took him with me to Shopko today and listened to him talk about things he was interested in and came away with several ideas, which I narrowed down to three.

I also decided what I want, too, not that I will get it though. This is Zach's year, not mine.

I finished up the ottoman cover and while it isn't perfect, it looks pretty good. At least the cat loves it and insists on sleeping there much to Professor's dismay. He uses the ottoman to get up on the couch, being a Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix and small. So he barks at Hannibal, who just looks the other way. Then I just pick him up and put him on the couch. He gives Hannibal a smug look and settles down into his wool blanket. Life goes on as usual.

I need to start some mittens with flaps. It was cold today and I needed to buy gas for Shrek (the minivan) but I forgot my fingerless mitts so I was alternating hands in pockets. But now that the temps are at freezing, I'll need mittens most of the time. I've got plenty of yarn so it's not a worry. I just have to decide which color I want to wear with my black coat.

I'm making progress on Zach's socks but not my mother's. Hers involves actually paying attention to the pattern and my brain is in the off mode right now so I'm unable to do that. Soon, I hope. In the meantime, plain socks and the flip-top mittens will work. Then I have to get back to sweaters. I don't want to have them sit in the bag all winter.

Tom made it home last night without a deer. He saw three but they were right behind him and he couldn't move fast enough to sight them before they took off. His brother saw one but no one else in the hunting camp saw any. This has been going on for several years. Someone suggested that if they aren't seeing any deer, maybe they should hunt where the deer actually are. I know there are deer there, but I suspect the herds haven't been managed well and they're not growing like they should. Still, he has a good time with the guys.

I need to start supper. I just got home from shopping and errands/bill-paying so I think it will be hot dogs and potatoes. Tom brought home a huge pack of hot dogs that I need to use up. I was going to make macaroni and cheese to go with it, but I'm feeling pretty dragged out today so I think not.

At least the kitchen is still clean so I can find the counters.

TTFN

Yes!!!!

2011-11-26T12:21:00.000-06:00

Zach found my earring in the bathtub so I have a matched set again!

Slept well when I could but I had to get up with Professor three times last night and Zach woke up throwing up this morning.

I'm off to the pharmacy to pick up my meds and maybe shop for his presents since he can't come with me.

TTFN

One Christmas present down

2011-11-25T18:43:00.000-06:00

Both City Hall and Culligan were closed today so I wasn't able to pay those bills. I'll go back with envelopes and put them in the slot. The Culligan bill was due today but they'd better not charge me late fees if they're not open to accept my payment.

I also lost one of my good earrings on Wednesday night. No idea where; I was so many places. I hate it because I wear them all the time. I also really hate the clasps on earrings because they don't stay closed. I've lost so many good earrings because they just come undone.

We did some Christmas shopping today but only got one gift for Tom. There were still a lot of good sales in electronics and the baby clothes section but as I'm not in the market for either, I skipped those deals. Shopping for Tom is very difficult as he has only a few interests and they are extremely expensive. Plus he already has most of what he needs. It's just that his wants cost more than a new pair of glasses for me, which I do need. Like, over $300 wants. And yet I don't want to get him a gift just to get him a gift. I want to get him something he will enjoy and appreciate.

This year is Zach's year though. Every year he gets one gift and Tom gets several so this year I'm getting Tom one gift and Zach several. I don't know why it always ends up that way but it does. But not this year. I'm not sure what to get him, but it's going to be more than he usually gets.

Tomorrow will be set aside for cleaning. I'm back to having the debilitating fatigue again but somehow it's got to get done. Zach will work on cleaning the car and bathroom while I work on the kitchen and living and dining rooms. I might have Zach mop the kitchen floor though. My back is much better but not completely there yet.

I finished up the fourth square on the ottoman cover and started the final one. I also made progress on Zach's sock but not my mother's. It's pretty dark in my bedroom and it's a dark teal yarn so I need to reserve that for sunny days. Which we haven't had for three days. I'll figure out something. Zach asked about his Bowser doll but I haven't gotten to it for a while. It requires concentration and I'm not filled with that right now. In fact, I'm so scatterbrained right now I worry.

Time to fix something for supper then to bed. I'm so tired. I really, really hate this but I don't know which is worse...the pain or the fatigue.

TTFN

The sun sets on Thanksgiving Day

2011-11-24T17:41:00.000-06:00

It was a very laid-back day mostly because I was in pain and didn't feel like doing anything. Still am and still don't. I did manage to bring the clothes in off the line which I thought would be dry because of all the lovely wind, but the heavy stuff was still very wet. So I got the racks up from the basement, made room by the heating vents and set them up. I guess I'm done hanging clothes outside this winter. From now on one load of clothes at a time and use the racks. I did it like that most of last winter so I know it can be done. And in case of need, I'm across town from a laundromat. I can wash the clothes here and take them there to dry. Even easier now that I've got a mini-van.

I didn't sleep at all well last night and neither did Zach. We were both up at 5 a.m. Him from his incessant inability to fall asleep and me from the pain that woke me up. I think I'm under-utilizing my pain pills now that I'm through the crisis of the sciatica. Or maybe all that lugging clothes up the steep basement stairs did me in. Either way I'll take two pain pills tonight to ensure I get some sleep.

Zach is going to cook supper tonight because he got to sleep in. I've got a dog that needs to wee occasionally so I had to get up. And once up, I tend to stay up. We're having sauce-less spaghetti tonight. Neither one of us like sauce on spaghetti but Tom does so we always fix it the way he likes it until he leaves. Then we get it our way.

I didn't get the kitchen cleaned up but I will put a little bit of effort on it tonight after supper. The dishwasher will be full so I can at least run that. Tomorrow we have errands to run and to sign the Walker recall petition so I probably won't get a lot of work done. But I will get something done because I need to cook supper tomorrow night. I've been doing a lot of thinking as to how I can arrange the stuff on the counters so I have space to cook and I think I've got a plan. But it involves moving Tom's lunchbox and thermos someplace else. Still, I need the counter space worse than he needs to have his lunchbox taking up space there.

I also need to do a small amount of ironing. When you hang stuff up on racks, they tend to look pretty wrinkled and I never dry Zach's jeans in the dryer so I need to iron them a bit. While I'm at it I might as well iron my jeans, too. And no...no creases.

As I said, it's been a laid-back day but I've been knitting a lot while watching the Cooking Channel. I have no idea why I'm watching it but I'm getting a lot of ideas on how to change our eating habits, although it does involve needing counter space, which is why I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out a solution. I did buy a big cutting board that I can use on the dining table which will extend the kitchen for me, but it's not an ideal solution. It's big enough I can put it over one of the sinks so that might be a better solution. I'm thinking of starting a sour dough mixture so I can bake some bread. I have a bread machine but it only makes one loaf at a time and it's more economical to back multiple loaves. Plus it's huge and takes up a lot of room on the counter. Or pantry space where it rests until I use it.

And speaking of pantry, I need to straighten that up, too. I bought a clamp on desk lamp to use for the back hallway which is pitch dark most of the time, but being a gooseneck lamp, I can turn it into the pantry through a little opening at the back so I can use it there, too. It's dark in the pantry. Which actually is the cubby where the old refrigerator used to reside. The present one is too big for it so I bought some racks that I can slide in and out and use it for the pantry. I'm planning on putting a curtain over the front so it hides the disaster that it usually is.

All these plans and no energy. Well, I simply must push through and get 'er done.

I finished up the Ocean socks and started another pair for Zach of plum and light blue. I frogged my dad's socks because after talking to my mom again, she wants the thin socks and he wants the thick ones so I found a pattern in my stash that seems to have no name but is a simple pattern but pretty. It's solid color so the texture will make the sock. I'll make my dad some plain dark blue socks. He just wears them with his slippers around the house because they're too big to wear with his shoes. Me, I get my shoes big enough to accommodate them because I wear them all winter long. And it doesn't seem to bother me during the summer when I wear cotton socks.

I also am nearly done with the fourth side of the ottoman cover. I'd like to get that done soon. I'm still using the lava lamp for a nightlight because I tripped over the black ottoman the other night and landed on the floor, which is good because I could have landed on the corner of the table. I seem to fall every winter so maybe that will be it for me. It's a whole lot easier falling on carpet than on icy pavement. I've ruined one knee landing on the sidewalk a few winters ago. I can't kneel on it anymore. It also happens to be the knee with the worse arthritis.

I hate falling apart like this.

Well, my fingers are itching to knit some more so I'm off to watch a travelogue to Italy this time. I'm pretty sure there will be food in the documentary though.

TTFN

We do pizza for Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T15:02:00.000-06:00

I've accomplished more today than I have in the past week, it seems. Three loads of clothes are out on the line, I've done up the dishes and knitting up to the toe decreases on the second Ocean sock. I'm hurting now, but at least that much is done. Tomorrow we'll clean out the car (although Zach's going to work on it a bit now) and maybe the rest of the house. And bring the clothes in off the line. It's really a nice day today although foggy earlier. It's in the 40s with sunshine and will be in the 50s tomorrow with more sunshine. So I didn't have to use the indoor racks. This time. I'm pretty sure next time I will.

I'm not much for Thanksgiving Day celebrations. Haven't done it for years and don't see any reason to start now. It's just me and Zach and over the years we've come to just treating it like another day. We tried going to other people's houses for T-day but it was awkward and not enjoyable at all. So we do what we do and like it better.

I'm going to have to take the spinning dvd back as I haven't really got the time to finish it and since someone else is waiting on it, might as well get it to them as soon as possible so they can enjoy it. I might try to get it again once things have gotten a bit more organized.

I read an article on craft fairs and flea markets and all the extra costs involved and to be honest, I don't think I've got it in me to do that. So back to being extremely frugal and cost-cutting. Maybe I'll figure out a way to bring in a dollar or two. I hope so.

Zach and I are heading out in an hour for the library, Pizza Hut and shopping. Nothing will be open tomorrow so we have to get it done today. Although part of me wants to go out on Thursday to drive around and see everything closed. I'm weird that way. We'll get a large pizza and two salad bars and bring the rest of the pizza home for lunch tomorrow. Maybe I can find a sugar-free pumpkin pie. I already have sugar free whipped topping. The only thing about Thanksgiving meals I really miss as neither Zach nor I like turkey.

Well, I'm going to take a hot shower and a pain pill and get ready to go.

TTFN

Back to socks for a bit

2011-11-21T19:48:00.000-06:00

I'm back to mostly taking pain pills at night. The pain in my back, hip and leg has eased off so much that it only occasionally speaks up and ibuprofen seems to do the trick on its own. Still...making up the bed puts a strain on my back so I have to take it easy. And I'm not carrying heavy things around for a while.

But sleep was good although accompanied by some strange dreams, one being something about Zach finding a bird that he set beside the bird cage we already had a bird in (we don't own a bird!) and when I walked into the room, noticed the new bird didn't have any food, so I was going to feed it but when I returned to the room it was a baby. So I decided to breastfeed it. I'm so glad I woke up from that dream!

My interpretation of that dream is that I need to refill the bird feeders outside. I'm not going to dissect it any further!

I should have washed and hung out some laundry today but the ordeal of dealing with all that pain has sapped my energy and I've been dragging today. In fact, I might just go to bed as soon as I'm done with this. I'm really tired. Maybe tomorrow I'll do laundry although it will have to hang on racks since it's supposed to rain tomorrow.

Still working away on the ottoman covers. I'm about a third of the way through the fourth one. I probably won't get much done today as I want to go back to working on socks. I need another pair so I won't have to wash socks out every other night. I can do them every third night if I knit up another pair. Besides, I hate knitting monogamy.

I need to knit up some new mittens with flaps since I can only find one pair from last year. One of these times I will put things where I can find them and actually label them. In the meantime, I do enjoy knitting them so it won't be a chore. Zach is going to start knitting blankets for the animal shelter. He feels like he should be doing something beneficial. He knows how to knit but could use the experience and blankets are a good way to get that. I've got plenty of Red Heart supersaver yarn. Dogs and cats need a yarn that is durable and machine washable. And the yarn has to be affordable, too. RHSS fills that description nicely.

Now I just need him to pick a pattern so I can get him started. Tomorrow maybe. I'm going to bed very soon tonight.

I found my sleeping hat but I haven't needed it yet. After last night, though, I might keep it under the pillow just in case. I'm going to put another blanket on the bed tonight. I got a bit chilly last night although when I got up the temp hadn't gotten as low as the thermostat was set. Which is good for the utility bill. My new sweat pants felt great last night. Much warmer than my threadbare sets which I've had for about 10 years. I got them the winter of chemo so it's been that long. I was due for some new ones. I also picked up a new sweatshirt. I do bundle up during the day so I can keep the furnace from working too hard.

Well, off to shut everything down, make up the bed, let Professor out for his wee while I do that. Otherwise I compete with him on the bed. Although he's really good at going where I point so I can put the sheets and covers on. Then cozied up in bed with some hot cocoa I'll knit away on socks tonight while watching my dvr. Tomorrow I've decided is a day for the spinning dvd. It's due back on Friday.

TTFN

Attack on two fronts

2011-11-20T15:14:00.000-06:00

I'm making slow progress on the dining room but since I didn't get much sleep last night and there is no deadline on it, I'm taking my time. At least you can see the dining table now. And I've got a space cleared in front of the heating vent to put the clothes racks so I can wash a load of clothes tomorrow. I just need to clean the kitchen so I have room for a rack in there.

I don't know what happened last night but my fibromyalgia pain went through the roof. I was extremely uncomfortable, alternating pacing the floor with curling up in a ball on the bed, and ended up taking three tramadol in the course of 6 hours. Finally it ebbed off at around 5 a.m. I had a little bit of sciatica pain but the fibromyalgia kind of overwhelmed that. And today the sciatica is making its presence known although still under a 5 on the pain scale.

I'm nearly done with the third square on the ottoman cover. I was too tired and in too much pain to do much on it and turned the lights off early and tried to get to sleep. I dug Zach's lava lamp out of the basement and am using it as a nightlight so I don't have to wake up and turn the light on so Professor can see the ottoman anymore. He did just fine last night without needing me to turn on the lamp. Plus it's a bit hypnotizing.

I think I'm going to lie down as my fibromyalgia is rearing its head again right now. Normally I can ignore the daytime pain, but not today for some reason. I just took my pain cocktail (3 ibuprofen and one tramadol) so maybe lying down will help.

TTFN

Relief!

2011-11-19T15:22:00.000-06:00

The pain woke me up this morning. Or the dog did. Not really sure which, but once out of bed there didn't seem to be any pain. A huge relief that I've been cautiously enjoying. I was able to make up the couch and get a little work done today with minimal pain. I'd say it's down to about a 2, which is my normal pain standard anyway. I do know the fibromyalgia pain was what bothered me last night. Not the sciatica. I did take my pain cocktail (3 ibuprofen and one tramadol) after I got done, but mostly as a precaution. Once the pain is raging, no pain meds will calm it down. I just hope this is on the downhill slope and I can catch a break.

It's nice to have one clean room in the house since I worked in the living room, de-cluttering and vacuuming/dusting. By tomorrow I should have two. And so on. I'm not going to overdo it. Although I did work in the kitchen to catch up on the dishes, which I managed to do. But I am done for the day. Only knitting for the rest of the night.

I've got two squares done on the cover for the ottoman and one-third done on the third one. That must be like the seventh son of a seventh son thing. At any rate, I'm going to work on socks tonight, too, since I need to get those done. Tomorrow I plan on carding my practice wool and trying to keep up with that. I must get the singles dyed this week while Tom's gone. With him gone I'll have more room to set up the racks so they can dry. It's too cold and wet to hang them outside.

I got a dvd from the library on spinning with Maggie Clark and Eunny Jang. It's a two-disk set and has all kinds of information. It's one thing to read it and see the pictures. It's quite another to see them actually spinning and carding and such.

Well, got to go get dressed as I'm out of milk and need to go to the store.

TTFN

The Deer Widow's vacation begins.

2011-11-18T16:20:00.000-06:00

Tom is away! I got home from the library and the store last night to find the truck in the driveway. He walked across town to pick it up and they stayed open long enough for him to get there. We have amazing mechanics. Although we do pay dearly for them.

So he got away before noon. I've been doing much of nothing today aside from rescuing the laundry from the garden. We've had about 30 mph winds today and the sheets ended up in the garden. I just shook the dirt off of them and folded them. Most everything else stayed on the clothesline but I brought it in anyway. Nice and dry and wrinkle free.

I'm nearly done with the second square of the cover for the ottoman. I worked a bit on my dad's sock last night as well, while trying to get sleepy enough to go to bed. I'll probably work some more on it tonight, too. I need to do more than work on one project at a time. But I also need to stop starting new projects until I finish a couple more. At this rate, I'll never finish anything.

I'm debating what to do about the living room. I really like having a living room again, but my back is still hurting and leaving the couch made up as a bed is much easier on my back for now. Tom suggested I just turn it back into a bedroom again, which would be nice because I could push the couch against a wall and be able to prop myself up instead of using a million pillows that keep falling off the bed and knocking stuff off the table. But that would also involve moving a lot of furniture and my back isn't onboard for that either.

I got a call back from the dr's office telling me I need to schedule a 6 month follow up. Which means my labs were awful and the dr needs to talk to me about it. I can't get in until December so they're giving me a month's worth of meds in the meantime. If she can come up with a way for me to stop craving foods that are bad for me and a way to cook healthy foods on a hamburger diet, I'll listen. Well, I'll listen anyway, but this is someone who has never had a weight problem in her life so she doesn't get the whole just eat less and move more and you'll lose weight myth doesn't really work when you have an eating disorder. I've actually had therapy for it but the therapist had never had an eating disorder before either and really didn't offer anything I hadn't already tried a million times before. And who wants to pay an arm and a leg for something that you're already tried and failed at?

So...I was doing pretty well on my own, not focusing on food at all until the dr and my family started bugging me about losing weight again. I had even lost 10 pounds. Now? I've gained about 30. Only my rheumatologist gets this for some reason.

Well, I have to go pick up my meds and we're grabbing a bite out as the kitchen is a disaster and I'm not in the mood to clean it up today.

TTFN

History repeats itself and not in a good way

2011-11-17T14:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was 27 different kinds of hectic, ending at around 3 a.m. when I finally fell into bed and awaited the pain pills to get the pain down to a dull roar so I could go to sleep in order to wake up and go to the dr for my labs. I missed the phone call from the garage because they called about 5 minutes after I left the house to go run errands. And by the time I got home, they were closed.

So I called first thing this morning. Not good news at all. The fuel pump needs to be replaced. Which is what happened last year during deer hunting up north. A fuel pump is supposed to last longer than a year so I suspect the mechanics up there put in a used one and charged Tom for a new one. It's what happens when you're away from home and they don't need your return business. Not saying that's what happened, but fuel pumps last longer than one year.

So they are going to try to get it done before the weekend so Tom can go up north, but if not, he'll go up next week. Bless them for trying though.

Unfortunately it's going to cost $700 to fix it. Pretty much what it cost last year except this year's includes the tow. On the plus side, at least it happened here, where our trusted mechanics are.

Before leaving for my appointment this morning, I loaded up the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen a bit. When I got back, I took the clothes off the line (it was too dark when we got home yesterday) and hung out another load. Then I took my pain cocktail of two ibuprofen and one tramadol and crawled back into bed and knitted for a couple of hours. And unknitted. I just can't watch knitting shows while I'm knitting. I tend to knit whatever they're knitting and then I end up having to do it all over again. Only this time two of the shows were crocheting shows. Still had the same problem.

I'm not making as much progress on the ottoman cover because of all the distractions, but after I get back from the library, I'm going to go to bed and stay there. Maybe for the rest of the night. I'll get frozen pizzas so someone else can cook.

I just let Professor in after a wee and he's limping on one of his back legs. He has trouble with his back legs for some reason. I trimmed the toe nails on the foot to see if that was the problem but he crawled under the covers to hide from me so until he walks again I won't know.

Well, off to take a shower and head to the library. I'm not going to try to clean house until Tom leaves since he's already collecting his gear in the dining room. No problem; just an exercise in futility to try to accomplish it now.

TTFN

Sometimes it really sucks to be us

2011-11-15T18:23:00.000-06:00

Having dealt with the problems of an unreliable car that stranded Zach and me multiple times, I thought we were out of the woods by purchasing a newer, more reliable car. Tom is supposed to leave Thursday for his annual deer hunting vacation so it's extremely important that we have two vehicles up and running. So he just called me from work. The truck is on the side of the road in the town he works in. Dead.

I gave him the number for the tow truck and the garage will certainly look at it, but I just wonder when we're going to catch a break. We never have two vehicles up and running for long. This is getting really frelling old! Whether he'll be able to go up there on time is up in the air right now, depending on when and how much it will take to fix the truck.

And I have an appointment tomorrow for labs that I will have to get up early and cancel because I can't be in two places at once. I need the car tomorrow as we have errands that have to be run then but Tom needs to be at work so I'll have to take him. I'll have to reschedule my labs, which is no big thing except I'll run out of meds before they get back to me. Yes, I leave things to the last minute. Just a day or so, but if it goes longer I'll be without them over the weekend. Not really urgent as I have a substitute prescription I can take for my bp. And my allergy meds I can get over the counter. I have enough of my metformin to take me to Sunday so they'd better get back to me by Monday at the latest.

And my back/hip/leg is still hurting...enough that I'm worn out from the pain. And my eldest just posted about how people who are not experiencing the American Dream are at fault because they just buy too much stuff. Or maybe it's because they don't get a paycheck that enables them to keep up with the wear and tear on their homes and cars. Or because they have medical bills that prevent them from enjoying the American Dream. I chose to ignore him because I don't have the energy to argue with someone who has had relatives bail him out all his adult life. He really does think he did it all himself. sigh

I hung out two loads of clothes today with Zach helping by handing me the clothes and the clothes pins and carrying the wet baskets of clothes for me. I only had room for two loads so I need to get the last load out tomorrow. We also lugged the futon mattress out to the garage. No way could Zach carry that himself so I had to help. Didn't do any favors to my back, I'll tell you, but I did take my pain cocktail of three ibuprofen and one tramadol right afterwards. But I didn't make up the couch this morning. Until I'm healed, the couch stays a bed. I did straighten up the covers though. I can close off the room should we get any company but that's probably not going to happen. The only people who show up here are salesmen.

But, to get my mind off of this, at least until 12:30 a.m when I have to go pick up Tom at work, I will be knitting on my ottoman cover. I decided the pattern wasn't working out for me because I really hate working with thick needles and thick yarn, especially trying to cable without a big enough cable needle. But also because I was afraid the loose knit of the cover would catch on Professor's toenails (which really need to be trimmed) and he would hurt himself. So, I went with a size 8 needle and a basketweave pattern, which is really looking good with the flecked yarn. And I'm making good progress so I should finish it by the weekend. I hope. Unless I get stuck with another major problem to deal with.

And I was hoping for an early night tonight.

TTFN

I shouldn't shop when I'm not strong enough to stay away from the yarn aisle

2011-11-14T17:30:00.000-06:00

I was weak. Vulnerable. Susceptible to the call of the needles. I bought yarn today. I know I need to do penance but I won't. I'll just knit it up into the cover for my ottoman cube so it looks a bit more presentable. Plus the original is black and Professor can't see it at night when he wants back in bed so I have to wake up and turn the light on for him. See? I bought the yarn so I could get more sleep.

I hurt my back again making up the bed, but the mattress was soooooo comfortable and in spite of the pain, I slept well. But I think for a while I'm going to keep it as a bed until my back is fully healed. Or maybe even all winter long until someone comes to visit. I can surely focus the energy spent on making up that bed/couch for other useful works. Like knitting.

I didn't wash clothes today because it was all overcast and threatening rain until late afternoon when the sun came out. I might get some done tomorrow but if not, I'll use the racks to dry the clothes in the house this weekend. Tom leaves on Thursday for deer hunting and will be gone about 11 days. I plan on cleaning the house and the car out so we can sell it when Tom comes home.

I haven't heard anything from anyone on freecycle. They changed the format from an email group to a website and it's getting little use from the looks of things. Much more effort to go to a website than to check your mail, I guess. If I don't hear anything soon, I'll stick it in the garage...off the floor, of course...and keep trying to find it a good home. It's perfect for a hunting cabin.

I'm worn out from the pain...still ever-present although mostly at a level of 4 or 5 most of the time. At the store today I reached an 8 again while standing in line. Standing hurts worse than anything else I do. And I've still got a couple of weeks to go before this resolves itself, apparently. I have to go to the dr for labs this week but I'm not going to make an appointment for this because I know she'd just send me to the rheumatologist and I already have an appointment with her in January. I couldn't get one before that anyway so I'll just mention it to the rheumie when I see her.

I think I'm going to make up the bed and crawl into it now instead of waiting for after supper. It's just breaded fish fillets and french fries and Zach can fix that easily. I took some more ibuprofen and tramadol when I got home from the store but it's not taken effect yet. Maybe a hot water bottle and my feet up. Tom's leg is a lot better today. Heat and rest fixed him right up. Me, not so much.

TTFN

We even limp together

2011-11-13T18:59:00.000-06:00

I didn't go online at all yesterday. Didn't even sit in the computer chair or make physical contact with the desk at all. I stayed in bed aside from a trip to the library and feel a bit better for it. It does come and go, at times pretty painful, but I'm seeing improvement. Enough that I'm not going to make an appointment just yet. All the websites I looked at, including the Mayo Clinic website, said it takes about 3 weeks for it to run its course. So I'm not panicking yet. The pain is manageable right now although standing for any length of time hurts, and I'm hoping to sleep very well tonight.

Because...we bought a new futon mattress today. No springs in this one. And if it only lasts 5 years, like the last one did, it's money well-spent. I chose blue to go with my area rug. Plus I'm tired of the brown that seems to be our whole house. It was on sale at half-price at Shopko so an even better deal. Now I need to give away the old futon. It's fine for sitting and if you're not terribly sensitive, sleeping is okay, too. But if you have aches and pains, then it will be a bother.

Tom had bruised his upper thigh pretty badly at work on Friday so it was good that he didn't work Saturday. He stayed in bed, moving occasionally to keep the blood circulating, but got up today and went shopping with me to look for an alternative to the futon we have for a couch. I saw some sofa sleepers but they looked like they would be more of a bother than what we already had so we opted for just a new mattress for it. But shopping we looked like a pair as both of us were limping on the left side. And both of us were groaning as we both got in and out of the truck. We looked at a cane for me, but they were over $20 and I'm not spending that much money for one. I'll look at the thrift store first.

I fixed supper when we got home and after Tom and Zach brought the mattress in and replaced the old on on the futon. Then I sent Tom upstairs to bed with a hot water bottle and some magnesium and ibuprofen. Not my bottle, of course. I hope he feels better tomorrow or work will be an ordeal.

Tomorrow will be a very busy day for Zach and me. I'm not ready to jump in with guns blazing, but between the two of us, we can get the house into some kind of order. Especially the kitchen. I've been keeping up with it all weekend even if I can't keep up with any other room in the house. But the kitchen floor needs mopping most definitely. And laundry must be done tomorrow in order to take advantage of good weather to hang them out on the line. And the kitchen must be in order for the days when I must use the racks indoors.

I finished up both pairs of fingerless mitts and will work on socks tonight. I hope to get back to the sweaters this week. I'll take a break from socks as soon as I finish these two pairs. Then I need to organize all my stash and patterns so I can figure out something for future products that I will sell. I bought the second volume of the Barbara Walker knitting stitch dictionaries, which should get here this week sometime. Then I can get down to some designing or tweaking stuff I've already designed. Not that I'm a designer by any stretch of the imagination, but I can do socks and gloves/mittens without a specific pattern. I just need to fine-tune them to make them more interesting.

Also, this week I plan on dyeing my Welsh top singles and scouring my Shetland fleece. Plus carding the free fleece I've got left to practice on. It should be a very busy week! I have the energy but not the capability to do a lot right now. It sucks how that works out.

Well, off to make up the new futon mattress and crawl into bed and knit away.

TTFN

Delegating...not my strong point

2011-11-11T17:19:00.000-06:00

The pain was a bit worse today with it moving further down the sciatic nerve. Bed rest isn't recommended so I've been alternating sitting and moving around. Sitting, at this stage, hurts a lot. Putting my feet up helps but moving around for brief periods does seem to help temporarily. More and more this is being confirmed as sciatica. Every article I read said it takes about 3 weeks or so for this to resolve itself. I've got another two weeks to go apparently.

Zach has been my dray horse today, carrying stuff for me and doing the heavy duty work. I've washed up the dishes but he will cook supper. He washed a load of clothes under my direction, carried them up the narrow, steep basement stairs for me and handed them to me while I hung them on the line. Next time (Monday) he'll hang them up while I watch and advise. We still have to transfer the curtains over the front door to curtain rings so they'll slide easier, and he'll do that under my direction as well. I'll be honest, though. I'd rather just do everything myself. I'm crap at delegating.

Tomorrow Tom will be home but I need to go to the library so I'll ask him to do some more winterizing...like putting weather stripping on the bottom of the back door and the door leading upstairs. Not so much to keep the cold from coming downstairs, but to keep his cigarette smoke from creeping downstairs. Last winter it wasn't this bad but lately the smell has been very noticeable. I bought some scented candles but I really hate the smell so I hope the weather stripping works. I don't mind him smoking up there. I just don't want to smell it myself.

I finished up the fingerless mitts last night and Zach asked for a new pair, too. So I dug out my purple Vanna's Choice and am knitting him a pair as well. Mine are a gold color Vanna's Choice that I got on sale last summer (half-price) when they were discontinuing that brand at StuffMart. When I get a bit caught up on things we need, I'm going to start working on things to sell. Another reason I want no smokey smells down here. Many people won't buy stuff from a home that has a smoker even if they can't smell it on the product.

I plan on keeping to small items because large items get too costly to sell. People want the best price, not necessarily the best quality right now. I'm using up a lot of my acrylic but once that stash is under control, I plan on investing in a good wool yarn. Plus using my handspun for various things. I'm not sure about selling wool that is only hand washable. I know I probably wouldn't buy much along those lines so I can imagine that busy people want something they can throw in the washer. But a unique item or a special item might be different. Something they would take pains with.

This is all so new and frightening to me. I can't stop imagining how risky it is to invest in something not knowing where or how I'll sell my products. I won't do online stores for a variety of reasons. Biggest being, I think I can sell better if I deal face-to-face with a customer. Especially if they can see and touch the item themselves. Then there are no misunderstandings about color or texture. Or size.

In the meantime, I'm studying up on spinning because I want to make that a bigger part of my crafting process. Both for the cost effectiveness and the skills I'm learning. Next week I plan on dyeing my Welsh top singles and scouring my Shetland fleece. I'm going to practice carding my crap fleece first. This is the fleece I got free from a guy my husband used to work with. It's really not bad, but not quality or anything. I wish I hadn't thrown out the rest of it, but it was about 20 fleeces and I would never be able to clean and card that manually. At least I thought so at the time. Regrets, now.

When I went outside today to refill the bird feeders I nearly stepped in a humongous pile of some kind of shit. It looked way too big for the Rottweilers in the neighborhood. My first thought was bear, but that's highly unlikely. Zach and I cleaned it up because Tom runs Professor around the yard in the dark when he gets home and the pile was big enough he would have skidded in it and fallen down. When I say huge, I mean huge. Not exaggerating a bit. Zach, bless his heart, did the best he could but with his OCD he had to turn away a lot while I used the shovel to get most of it. He had to scoop some of it into the shovel without vomiting. He did fine but underwent a huge handscrubbing episode when he came in. In spite of not touching it. He used a stick to scoop it up.

If it was a dog, then I'm pissed that someone is letting their pets run loose and shit in other people's yards. If it was a wild creature, then my pets will be closely watched when they go outside from now on.

Well, time to get Zach and start supper and get that curtain done. Then I'm going to put my feet up and knit while watching my dvr programs. I've gone through so much this week that I'm nearly under 50% on my inventory. Lots of knitting while watching! One other reason I love winter.

Finally...

2011-11-10T18:36:00.000-06:00

Today is definitely a better day. Last night was pretty bad, however, as the pain radiated down my left hip and my left thigh, which led Tom to comment that it sounded like sciatica, which one of his guys at work has. After looking it up online (at reputable sites, not wikipedia) I'm convinced that's exactly what this is. So Tom has insisted that I do little, rest often and give it a chance to heal. I've done as much of that as I can, although I had to do shopping today, but the end result has been a definite easing up of the pain. In fact, I've only taken on tramadol today and that was this morning. I still hurt and when I start doing too much, the pain increases, but as the corrective solution is rest and anti-inflammatories, I don't plan on going to the doctor unless the pain is back to the levels I had earlier this week.

The big issue, of course, is that sciatica is a symptom, not a condition of its own so there is something that is causing the problem, most likely being the amount of belly fat I carry, which is causing a constant pull on my lower back and spine. I've been scared enough to get more serious about losing weight, although not to to the degree that I plan on going on some drastic diet. I'm modifying how and when I eat and have seen an improvement in that area, although not so much in weight loss just yet. Zach on the other hand has had to tie the belt on his sweats because they're falling off of him. 'Tain't fair!

I'm also convinced that the back pain I had a few months ago was sciatica, too. This attack being much more painful and lengthy. For the next few weeks Tom and Zach will be carrying anything that weighs over 10 pounds for me, making up my bed, and generally doing anything that requires me to use my lower back. I will be resting and doing light work until the pain is gone, then I'll start mild exercising, focusing on strengthening my lower back.

But if I have a recurrence or this flares up again, I will be seeing the dr. Although I'd like to wait until I see my rheumatologist in January as that's where my GP will send me anyway.

I've been knitting merrily, though, enjoying time on the couch (although I didn't even make up the bed today) and making progress. I haven't started my inventory yet, as I've got some winter things to finish up for us first. I started knitting some generic fingerless mitts for myself since I can't find the ones I had last winter. They're probably in a bag somewhere with the summer stuff. Don't ask.

But I got a knitting magazine today that had some nice things in it. I won't buy a magazine unless it has at least 3 patterns I plan on using. Just a quirky thing since in the past I've bought them for only one pattern only to get home with it to find I couldn't knit that pattern because I didn't have the required wool or some other reason.

Tonight Zach and I are going to watch Shrek 4 which I've got on dvr while I knit on the mitts. I'll probably need to knit him a pair, too, since I can't find any of them. Tomorrow he's going to attack the closet to see what he can find in the way of mittens with flaps. And hats. My scarves are on the coat rack where they've been all summer. I use them for decoration.

Off to lie down while Zach creates a magnificent supper.

TTFN

Winter is here already

2011-11-09T17:43:00.000-06:00

Woke up to SNOW!!! Lots of it, although the accumulation hasn't been what was predicted. Or at least on the lower end of what was predicted. But it's been snowing furiously all day. And since it was so cold, I turned the furnace on this afternoon after the temp in the house dropped to 55F. Even I can't stand it that low during the day. Plus I can't find my fingerless mitts.

So I've been looking online for some fingerless mitts patterns and found several. And thinking ahead to making an inventory of things to sell in the future, have been printing out patterns. And bookmarking pages of patterns I want to give some thought to.

My back is still in the 5 range, down to about 3 with the back support thingy but the fibromyalgia is trying to outscream the back pain. It's a battle I wish I wasn't participating in. I have 20 minutes before I can take my next tramadol dose. I ordered more from the pharmacy since I'm going through my monthly allotment pretty much in total this month. Normally it takes me 6 weeks to use up my monthly allotment, but this month has been a kicker. Still, I think it's easing off. If I'm not better by Monday I'm going in to see the doctor. I won't mess around with this in case it's more serious than it seems.

In the meantime I'm taking it easy, not doing a lot. Some cleaning in the kitchen and fixing meals but aside from that, I'm keeping to the bed and limiting my endeavors to knitting on small things that don't require feeling the weight on my hands and shoulders.

I had a really difficult time sleeping last night. Not so much the pain, just the insomnia rearing it's head, demanding attention as well. I'm so popular with all my ailments. And I had planned on going to town today to the library and the store, but didn't want to travel in the first snow of the year. Considering some people forget how to drive in snow over the winter, I didn't want to be out there for their refresher course. Staying home seemed the wisest thing to do.

I need to get the kitchen cleaned up a bit because I have to do laundry and need space for the racks so they'll dry near a heating vent. I have one in the dining room and one in the kitchen that are easy to get to. But I'm not up for mopping floors tonight so that will have to wait, too.

Right now I'm off to cook spaghetti or something like it and crawl into bed. Zach will have to make up the bed for me because I think all the work I've been doing has prevented my back from healing more quickly. Or at least I hope that's it.

TTFN

Getting better

2011-11-08T17:53:00.000-06:00

I slept well last night, if not long enough. Still, it was around 7 hours of nearly uninterrupted and nearly pain-free sleep. I apparently slept in one position most of the night though. Sleeping at the other end of the couch seems to help a lot as it takes the weight off my left side. Plus I'm further away from the dining room and the television in there. I put my tv on timer and fell immediately asleep, waking up around 5 for a potty trip and some ibuprofen as it was too soon to take a tramadol. Then I ended up sleeping until 9:15 when Professor woke me up needing to go out.

The pain was down to a 6 (with 10 being the worst pain you can ever endure) so I took a tramadol and put the back support thingy on, which dropped the pain down to a five immediately. The tramadol is helping finally so the pain is down to about 3 now. Very endurable. I had to watch myself because I felt so well that I started doing some cleaning and stuff. Zach put the plastic on the last window while I just stood there and handed him the scissors. Didn't need to advise him on it as he had watched me very closely the other day when I did it. This is a huge help as he can do half of it next winter.

I took a nap around 11 a.m. and slept until Tom left for work at 1:20 and I'm still sleepy. I know your body does it's healing during delta sleep so I'm assuming that's what's going on, but I want to sleep tonight so I'm holding off on more than one nap a day.

I've been talking to Tom about maybe knitting up an inventory of things to sell at a flea market or craft sale or something, plus working on becoming more proficient at spinning so I can either enjoy knitting with better yarn at a cheaper price or sell the yarn I dye and spin. Either way I decide to go, I've got to treat it as a job and set aside the time for it rather than doing it after my day is over. My biggest problem isn't setting aside time to do this; it's having any confidence that anyone would want to buy my products. I have this fear that my stuff won't hold up or people will buy it and it won't meet their expectations and they'll want their money back and will give me horrible reviews and such. It's not something I grabbed from thin air; I've seen people do that to online store owners, sometimes on a whim. Which is one reason I'm not doing the online thing. The other one is I'm not keen on dealing with the mail service. I'd rather sell person to person.

So as soon as my back is better, I'm tackling the house to get it under some semblance of control, then setting up some structured time for both my crafts and the tightwadding I need to do in order to make this work out. It helps that Tom is supportive and understanding. For a long time I don't think he understood my limitations because invisible disabilities aren't...well...visible or apparent to anyone. But after all these years he knows that it's very real (he's gotten up in the middle of the night to find me curled up in a ball on the bed or walking the floors because the pain is too bad to sleep) and tries very hard to be there for me. But he is a human being and I know that at times it gets to him, too. Fortunately he doesn't take it out on me. Anymore, that is. Before he really understood, he would get fed up with me and feel resentful. Now things are better.

I need to learn to be disciplined about this, which isn't my strong suit. I need to feel productive in whatever way I can.

But today and maybe tomorrow I'm going to focus on healing my back getting my selective shit back together again. Another early night for me!

TTFN

Occupying my couch

2011-11-07T19:10:00.000-06:00

We have one window to put plastic on and while Zach is going to do it under my observation, I'm too tired and hurting to do it tonight. Today was spent on errands so I wasn't home much and what little I've done is going to have to be it. Still having pain in my back but the pain is down to a 7 from an 8. And I'm taking tramadol regularly instead of waiting on the pain. That seems to help a bit. Except I'm taking it every 6 hours instead of 8 so I can get an extra dose in because of the pain. I'm allowed to do that once in a while but I'm sure if the pain ever gets that bad regularly, my dr will increase my dose accordingly. I'm on the lowest dose, after all.

Tom flipped my futon for me yesterday but that created more problems than it solved or we should have flipped it the other way or something. I ended up with a spring right under my left back, where the pain is. I was sitting on the side of the bed fighting tears at 3 a.m., when Tom came down and noticed. He offered to flip the mattress over but at that stage I was too tired and in too much pain so I just slept on the other end. Actually that ended up being the best solution all around as it put me on my right side and gave my left side a chance to heal a bit. Although I was up at 5 a.m. taking more pain meds and could barely crawl out of bed at 11:30 a.m. Still, while I'm still in a lot of pain, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

And I bought a back support thingy today and some heating pads for the back. Actually they are ice pads as well, depending on where you store them. I think this will help immensely.

But tonight I'm heading for bed and leaving the kitchen for Zach to clean. Tomorrow after the plastic is on the window I'm Occupying My Couch until I feel better. Knitting and video games await me. And I dare anyone to tell me to get up and do anything!

At least until I feel better. I have tons of stuff to do, some of it fun, but I can't enjoy any of that until I get ahead of this pain. And if this isn't incentive to get rid of the belly fat that is pulling on those back muscles, I don't know what is!

TTFN

Good thing we had warm temps today.

2011-11-05T17:09:00.000-05:00

Since I'm still not done with the winterizing.

I will be so glad of the extra hour or sleep tonight. Not that I'll get to use it, but glad it's there nonetheless. I didn't sleep until noon today. In fact, I was up before 10 because of the pain. I've discovered it's not my dodgy hip after all. It's my left lower back. I've messed it up again, most likely hauling that laundry up those steep basement stairs. Plus climbing up and down the step ladder hanging curtains. And today putting the plastic on the two windows in the kitchen.

I ended up buying four more panels for the kitchen as I cut the one curtain too short and besides, one panel wasn't enough for that window anyway. It's wider than a normal window. I thought I could just pick up three more since I already had one, but I couldn't find any in that color. So I went with blue. Nothing in my house has any semblance of a color design, having decorated with early garage sale, but at least my curtains normally match within one room.

I'm leftover with one long and one short curtain. Not the one I cut off. I put that on the back door and I'm not going to put plastic on it this year because of the insulated curtain on it. I don't have to open it at all so there's no sense in wasting the plastic. Plus it doesn't do any good anyway. Same with the front door. I get so much condensation on the plastic on the front door that the curtain gets wet. At least this way, I can just wipe it off. Plus I have an insulated curtain I can cover it completely with at night or on windy days.

Two more windows and I'm done. The two most difficult are the one over the sink and the one in the bathroom so I'm halfway there. I just hope my back holds out long enough to do it. I took some ibuprofen this morning but it did nothing much for the pain. I'm holding out for the tramadol to get me through the night. I might take a double dose tonight as I'm allowed to do that now and then.

I've turned the heel on the sock I'm knitting my dad but I decided not to continue the pattern past the heel. I hate it when a pattern has a purl on the first stitch of a double pointed needle pattern. I never get it tight enough. Plus, he's not going to care anyway. I still have to get some sock yarn for my mom's socks but no hurry on that. I haven't been to the yarn store in ages because I hate the parking where they moved. There's one in another town nearby, too, but again, parking is a pain. I might just do online shopping.

I'm ready to start the pattern on my Ocean socks that I decided to keep for myself. I'll make my mom's out of the plum yarn I've got instead of the green. She likes that color a lot.

And once I'm done with all the winterizing, I'm going back to sweaters and Bowser in addition to the socks. In a perfect world I would have a pair of socks on the dpns all year round. And then after I've gotten caught up on the cleaning, I'll get busy with the spinning and dyeing and washing of the fleece. Washing of the Fleece sounds like a festival, doesn't it?

I saw a really cute Santa suit for dogs today but as I have red yarn and white yarn, I might just adjust a pet coat pattern I have and make one for Professor. He'll hate it for sure but it will make for a cute picture or two.

I'm late with supper but Tom is late getting home so that worked out pretty well. It should be done in about 15 minutes...baked ziti and brussels sprouts. Nothing fancy but something I could cook while putting plastic on the windows and the curtains up.

Off to get the plates and such out and clear off a space on the dining table so he can eat supper.

TTFN

Really glad it's Friday

2011-11-04T17:53:00.000-05:00

I got the last load of clothes out on the line this afternoon, by which time only one of the loads from yesterday was done. As I got up at 7 a.m. (due to pain) I got to watch the sun hit the frosted clothes and let off steam. It kept me entertained for at least 15 minutes. Tomorrow morning I don't intend to get up that early. And by early I mean before noon.

I wasn't able to take the paperwork back to the credit union today because Tom missed several places he was supposed to initial. The cover letter made it sound like there were only a couple of places but in reality there were about 8. I probably won't make it tomorrow either because they close at noon and I plan on sleeping until then.

I did make a run to the store as we were nearly out of milk. My excursions are costing almost half what they used to. I'm trying very hard to stick to the list and not just grab things off the shelf. I should have enough for a week unless the guys go through the milk as fast as they did this last gallon. Although the clip on sunglasses I got don't fit so I'll need to take those back. I can't drive without sunglasses with my astigmatism.

I finished up one Ocean sock and started the heel flap on the sock for my dad. I went over my mother's phone call yesterday and realized the "thick" socks she was talking about wanting was the fingering weight sock yarn so I need to get more sock yarn for her pair. I'll probably throw in a pair of bulky socks as well though.

I'd like to start working on the sweaters again, too, and get back to work on Bowser. At this rate, Bowser won't be done before spring. But I still don't have the curtains up. I must do that today and get the plastic on over the weekend. It was 55F in the house this morning (and frost on the ground and clothes). I don't think it got up to 60 in the house but it's still been pretty comfortable so I'm not going to turn on the furnace yet.

Tom is already planning his trip up north for deer hunting. I was a bit astonished to see on the calendar that it's nearly upon us. At least I have a reliable car this year. Not that I plan on going anywhere. But I could if I wanted to.

Well, off to fold the clothes before they wrinkle and then pop a pizza in the oven. I can't cook and get the curtains up so I'm cheating again this week. Hopefully once the winterizing is done, I'll have more time to do the frugal stuff. And more time to work on my knitting, dyeing and spinning. I'm getting antsy to scour my Shetland fleece, not to mention dyeing and plying my Welsh top singles. I've decided I want another kick spindle for Christmas so I can spin more than one type of yarn at a time. It will speed up the process a bit and I'll have more yarn to knit with. My goal is to get to the point where I only knit with what I've processed and spun. That way I can use better yarn instead of the acrylic I can afford. Although I probably won't give up on acrylic altogether. It has served me well!

TTFN

We're never going to win this race

2011-11-03T17:52:00.000-05:00

The universe reminded me today that we are still in the can't-catch-a-break category. The dryer quit. Fortunately it was sunny today and will be sunny tomorrow provided the weather-guessers can be trusted so I have two loads out drying overnight and will put another load out tomorrow. I think it's just a belt, which will be easy to replace if we can get the correct belt. It was a cheap, cheap dryer we bought about 14 years ago but I just can't afford to replace it right now.

As a result of hauling heavy, wet clothes up the steep basement stairs, my dodgy hip is screaming at me to stop and go to bed. Not going to happen yet but I will postpone the curtains until tomorrow. And the plastic. Climbing up and down the step stool won't help my hip much. I know I should mention it to the dr, but I've already been diagnosed with arthritis in that hip and can't afford a bone scan because it comes off the deductible first and I don't have $600+ that it would cost. I hope to lose some weight, which I think will help. It can't be good for that hip to be carrying all this weight on it.

Beans and cornbread for supper tonight and I'm trying to catch up on the kitchen. I have stuff that must be washed by hand and that's what's slowing me down, but mostly I'm making progress. The dishwasher just finished and Zach will empty it when the dishes have dried a bit. Then after I finish the cornbread, I'll eat a bite and make up the couch. I've had trouble sleeping because of the pain lately so going to bed early makes a lot of sense to me.

My mom's birthday is today so I called and wished her happy, happy. She would like some thick socks and I'm making Daddy some thin socks so that will make up the bulk of their care package this year. It's going to be a bit light this year due to getting back into tightwad mode. Well, triple tightwad mode. I will admit I feel better when I do this. Makes me feel like I'm doing my job.

Tonight I'll work on the socks for Mom and Daddy. I'll give Mom the Ocean socks since I'm okay for now with what I have as long as I wash them out every other night. And really it would be better to do that than to machine wash them. Plus I'll have to start washing my wrappings (lymphedema) every other night, too, if I end up having to use the clothes line and racks this winter. I've done it before it's just finding room for the racks that is the problem but since I moved the living room out of the dining room, there is a space in front of the heating vent that is usable plus there is a space in the kitchen right under the heating vent that will work. I'll just have to move the pet food to a different location.

So, off to make cornbread and go to bed.

TTFN

The after stress nosedive

2011-11-02T19:41:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to go anywhere today but after a day of doing absolutely nothing except getting the clothes from the dryer and putting a new load in, I thought I would go ahead and get Tom's bread so I don't have to go out again. Imagine our surprise when we walked out of StuffMart to snow! Thick, wet, heavy snow! It wasn't sticking so that was a bonus and by the time we got to our town, the snow was gone...or not arrived yet, being east of the town we just left.

And I still don't have all the curtains up. Which I absolutely have to do tomorrow in addition to putting plastic on the windows.

I think I just caved in to the stress of the past two weeks. I do fall apart after the crisis. Never during, which is good, I suppose. But after I toss the pizza in the toaster oven on timer, I'm making up the bed and crashing for the night. Some sock knitting to soothe me but an early night, I hope. I did get to sleep early last night but woke up several times due to the pain. In fact, woke up this morning in pain. I didn't take a tramadol though. I do tend to hoard those for night when I can't distract myself from the pain. Today I just endured instead of tramadol. Some days I can; some days I can't. Tonight I'm just going to go ahead and take one as I crawl into bed so I've got enough time for another one before I go to sleep later.

When I got home I checked the mail and there was a letter from the loan officer with some paperwork he forgot to have us initial but I'm not going back to town tomorrow. He can wait until Friday. I've got work to do tomorrow.

But for now, I'm winding down and don't have a lot to talk about so....

TTFN

I'm a happy girl

2011-11-01T18:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was packed with errands, cleaning and laundry and I was too tired to blog about it so I had an early night and slept until 11:30 this morning. I did get some knitting done though so I feel pretty good about yesterday.

The Town and Country is sitting in the driveway after an effortless morning in settling all we needed settled. First thing Tom called the insurance agent and got insurance set up on the new car. Then we headed to the credit union where the fairly new loan officer had nothing done at all and didn't even remember talking to us until he found our paperwork, but the process, while long, was uneventful. But I will be calling on the first of December to make sure our automatic payment got made and from the correct account. Not saying I don't trust the guy, but it's my credit rating on the line.

Then we headed to Vic's, the mechanic, where the car was sitting, ready to drive. It cost so much less than we anticipated: $225, including the tow. I swear they are the best mechanics around. So we were able to drive the car home, take the plates off and head back across town to the dealer to sign the papers and hand over the check. By 11 a.m., I was driving my new car and loving every minute of it. Now we plan on cleaning up the car, fixing a few minor things and selling it.

I had planned on taking today off since I had shopping to do yesterday (meds in at the pharmacy and nearly out of toilet paper) but the library called and I had a book in. I don't like to delay picking my holds up because generally there is a waiting list for the books. I like to get them, read them and return them so the next person doesn't have to wait. But we didn't go shopping or anything, Zach and I just stopped for a coke and talked about future possibilities and plans for getting our heads out of our asses and getting our lives back together again.

Then we got home where I have been working on clearing out my closet (where the cold air return is) more laundry (I'm waiting until I have water from the faucet during showers in order to save on the water bill) and then I've got curtains to put up. I can't find my other set of kitchen curtains but it's not a problem as I have to shorten the set I had last year anyway so I might as well just cut off the curtains I was going to use in the living room but changed out for shorter ones. I have pinking shears so that will be okay for this year. Next year I'll hem them.

I have to get supper started and straighten up the kitchen a bit but aside from that I'm not doing anything more tonight. I'm tired. And I would like to get more knitting done.

I ended up going with the Ocean sock pattern for the worsted weight yarn. I've got a pair from last winter and love them. They fit well and have a nice enough design. I went back to the pattern I had been using on the fingering sock yarn. It's an adaptation of the Yarn Harlots sock pattern. I just do the twin "cables" down the sides instead of her intricate cable design with longer ribbing. It's a great design that I used last year but with a gray yarn instead of teal. I wish I had gray again because I think it looks better with a lighter color yarn, but I have the teal so...

I also would like to work on some fingerless mitts as I can't find mine and my fingers are getting cold while knitting and typing. I know they're here somewhere. I'm sure once I knit up a new pair, they'll show up. But you can never have too many pairs of mitts.

In the meantime, I'm planning on doing some reading as I got a new knitting book from the library today and I can't wait to sit down with it. So I'm off to get my work done.

TTFN

Things are looking up

2011-10-29T19:32:00.000-05:00

It was another day that started early and was full of stuff to do. I got up early after little sleep and took Tom to work so I had the truck. After a cup of coffee I went to the dealership and got the sales papers. While filling them out the owner told me that when I called to tell him the credit union had approved the loan, there was a man sitting in the chair across from him wanting to buy the minivan. He had to tell him that we got there first, but had I not called, he would have had to let him have it since we were only a "maybe" up until that point. Always, always keep in touch with people you're dealing with. The fact that I followed through and did the paperwork today gave us more credibility.

And we got the release papers in the mail for the truck today, too. They no longer hold the lien on it!

Tom has the logistics worked out about the car. We're going to tow it home unless it's completely a waste, at which point we will either give the car to the garage or call a salvage yard. I don't want to spend anymore money on it, but if Tom can fix it on his own, then towing it home so he can work on it at his leisure makes sense. It won't cost us a penny to sit in our driveway all winter. As long as we can get all the vehicles in the driveway we'll be good. Can't park on the streets overnight after Monday night.

Although we're betting our neighbor will. Tom says if he can get by with parking in front of a fire hydrant for months on end, he'll get by with parking on the street during the winter. There is a couple living there with him, I think, plus his girlfriend so that's 4 cars. His problem though. I'm not going to interfere.

I picked up my prescriptions at the store and did as little weekly shopping as possible, getting only bare essentials and it still cost more than I wanted it to. The pesky prescriptions, even with the co-pay ran $40. I tried to get a flu shot but the insurance company won't pay. Well, they "will" but they will charge me more for a co-pay than the shot costs. I just don't have the money for flu shots right now. If they have them later, I will.

Although I'll end up with the flu anyway. I always get it once a year even with the shot. In fact there seems to be no difference.

I washed a load of clothes but didn't get them out on the line because I had to go pick Tom up at work and by the time I got home, I was wiped out. Not as tired as he was, but for me, my energy was at an end. I might hang them out tomorrow. I need to start putting plastic up. It was 52F this morning in the house. I won't use the furnace until the house is winterized and besides, we were busy all day so it wasn't uncomfortable. But I told Tom to shut his windows on Monday because after the first of November, it's a crap shoot when I'll need to use it. I try to get close to Thanksgiving but I won't let us freeze to death over a goal. This winter looks like it's coming early and hard. I need to be prepared for it.

It will be nice to be in a car that sits higher off the ground. The Concorde sat so low to the ground that I would hit pavement on dips, not to mention what it was like driving in snow. I'm a fairly decent snow-driver if I have a car that handles it well. The Concorde was a front wheel drive so it handled very well in the snow. I made sure the Town and Country is fwd, too. Plus it has new tires on it.

I started a new sock last night with the worsted. The pattern called for 56 stitches which is way too big for me so I went down to size 2 needles and it looks like it will fit perfectly. It's cabled so it will draw in a bit anyway. I love the density of the sock with size 2s so I might make all my socks with that size from now on. I still have to decide on the fingering weight sock yarn. I found a pattern and if it works, I'll link to it tomorrow. Same with the pattern I'm trying with the worsted weight. Then I really need to get back to the sweaters. We're going to need them.

Zach has decided to postpone college for now. Especially since the guidance counselor still hasn't called him back. Getting back in touch with people at the college was a huge problem before. It ended up costing us an extra $400 and no internship because his adviser would never answer his emails. Plus he's talked to an accountant who said that an associate's in accounting from a tech school is practically worthless and he'll be in the same position he was before. So he's going back to his original plan to volunteer at the library here in town. He can walk there and back, make connections, get references and hopefully after the first of the year have additional stuff to add to his resume and re-apply at the jobs he's been applying at, and update at all the employment agencies. Then he can decide if he wants to pursue his real goal of studying sociology. He's wanted to do that for a few years but figured it was out of reach. He can also look into online colleges that are reputable and accredited. It might cost more and take longer but it might be the only way he can get what he wants without accruing a mountain of debt.

And now it's time to make up the bed and crash for the night with my socks. I haven't slept much since Wednesday night and I'm really tired. Although I did walk Professor around the parking lot while waiting for Tom (he loves to ride so I take him with me once in a while) and my hip never hurt once, so maybe just moving around, exercising is helping it. Now to get the excess weight off of it.

Hopefully I'll have excellent news on Monday with pictures of socks, more socks, sweaters and a car.

TTFN

By Monday the minivan will be mine

2011-10-28T17:13:00.000-05:00

The loan is approved and tomorrow I pick up the paperwork to take to the Credit Union first thing Monday morning. We also have to put the car on our insurance and swap the plates from the junked car. I expected to hear from the mechanics today but they never called. I'm okay with that as we don't have to do anything with the car until next week now. Free storage all weekend.

Of course that means getting up very early to take Tom to work and picking him up later. And calling the insurance agent this weekend so we've got the car insured before we pick it up. It's not the law here anymore but I won't drive a car that's not insured. My luck doesn't run that well, after all.

I frogged my dad's sock last night because I didn't like it after all and knowing my dad, I don't think he would wear teal socks anyway. So I'm looking for a pattern for me to wear. I think I'm going to be a bit selfish this year with my knitting. I rarely ever make stuff for me. I'll focus on the socks for me and Zach and finish up the two sweaters and then dig into the stash for the rest of winter knitting. I've got plenty of stuff to work with and I need a new hat now that I lost my really good winter one. Although I might replace that with a lumberjack hat. I've wanted one for years.

I haven't done much today besides straightening up the kitchen. Supper tonight might just be soup and grilled cheese because I'm so sore and moving so slowly that I don't want to do much of anything tonight. Besides, we haven't had grilled cheese in ages. And who doesn't love tomato soup?

Well, off to crash on the couch until time to cook supper. We had a late lunch so I'm not ready to start cooking just yet.

TTFN

I'm taking today off

2011-10-27T12:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the day from hell. No, make that The Day From Hell. No question.

After waiting in vain all day for the guidance counselor to call Zach about re-registering for college, we had to go to the store and library, but first stopped at McSnacky's for two 99 cent beverage and a chance to sort out his growing confusion on what to do about college. We couldn't get the car in park, so we decided to just go home only to find the car locked in L. Locked solid with no hope of getting it into neutral at all.

And, the phone I thought was in my purse with the charger was minus the phone. My phone was dead which I couldn't figure out since I hadn't used it. So we went next door to Shopko to find a charger but as the 3 year old phone is now an antique, there were no chargers that fit my phone. They didn't have universal chargers but I knew that StuffMart did...way across town. So we grabbed a bite to eat because at this stage I was shaking so bad that I knew I had to eat or pass out.

After a meal we headed out to StuffMart, a good (or shall we say bad) 4-5 miles away. It took us over 2 hours to get there because I have a dodgy hip and had to stop every 20 feet or so, and had to stop and sit down at least 5 times. And while we found the charger, apparently my phone was damaged by trying different plugs and now will no longer work with my charger. So...needless to say we couldn't call Tom. But StuffMart had a pay phone, the only one I know of in town, so we called a taxi after writing a check for $20 over. It took over a half hour for the taxi to get there and it cost the whole $20 to get home.

I was so sore, I was barely able to talk, and it took me until around 4:30 a.m. to get to sleep, but we woke up around 8:40 (because I forgot to set the alarm) and headed off to town where Tom determined he can't get it to work. We stopped at the mechanic's and set up a tow truck for later in the evening so as not to disrupt the traffic flow at McSnacky's and they will take it to the shop where we probably will not fix it. We're going to have to junk it.

We stopped at the mechanic's on the way home because getting them to call back could take hours and we were able to give them the remote for the car (since it was locked with the key in the ignition) and got the ball rolling much more quickly.

On the way home, we passed by the used car lot where Tom found his truck and sitting there were two minivans. Now, I had been hankering to get a minivan to replace the car because we had one over 20 years ago and I loved it, but didn't think we could afford even a used one. We took it for a test drive and most likely will be calling the credit union tomorrow to see if we can get the financing. Which we probably will as we just made the last payment on the truck last week. We checked it out online and it's a good, reliable vehicle and feel good about the owner of the lot since we got a very good deal with the truck. Plus the price is about a $1000 under the lowest list price for vehicles of that year. This guy always seems to underprice his cars.

I need a car and soon because Zach is trying to get the process going for re-registering for college so we don't have time to wait for weeks to find a newer car. We have days.

I called McSnacky's after we got home to update them on the car. I had told a crewmember last night and it looked like she told the manager but I can't be sure. But as the car was still there and not ticketed (I called the police department as well) I'm guessing she did. So I thanked them for their patience and let them know the tow truck would be there later in the evening when their traffic slowed down a bit and they took the license plate number and thanked me for letting them know and for waiting until the slowdown.

So the lesson is to let people know what's going on so they don't make assumptions and call a tow truck and you end up paying outrageous fees.

Did I mention it was around midnight before we got home last night? And we stopped at McSnacky's at precisely 6:38 p.m. It took over five hours to get home.

Oh, and I lost my winter hat on the walk across town. Damn!

And I really, really had to go to the bathroom about halfway there but by the time we got to KFC, they were closed. By the time we got to Wendy's, they were closed and I had to wait until I got to StuffMart. And by the time we got there, I could barely move so there was no racing to the bathroom.

I never want to go through that again.

And so, of course, I got no knitting done last night. But Hannibal decided that sleeping in my knitting bag was cozy so I have cat hair all over both sweaters. And I don't even care.

Except we're still out of milk.

TTFN

Sleep does a body good

2011-10-25T17:40:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty good day. I forced myself to stay in bed and sleep until I thought I'd had about 7 hours of sleep, in spite of getting up twice with Professor and waking up to the quiet tv in the dining room. I got back to sleep each time pretty easily so I wasn't tossing and turning.

I started the day (after making up the couch and straightening up the kitchen) with reading and coffee until Tom left for work. Then I got the bread machine out and made some whole wheat dough with soy milk instead of powdered milk. It's resting on the stove waiting to rise enough to bake. I've been pecking away at the kitchen getting it clean although I'm not attacking it. If it takes me two days, it takes me two days. I'm not going to have another day on the couch like last week.

Supper is cooking in the toaster oven. Baked chicken thighs for the menfolk. I'm just having a meat-free meal, trying to get my health under control. I'll fix chicken broth rice for them, but I'm having butternut squash with a bit of cinnamon. I'll miss the butter on it, but I'm going to try to go as dairy free as I can for a while to see if that helps with the energy levels and the stomach problems after I eat.

I'll stick it out as long as it lasts but I'm not putting myself under pressure to make this work forever. I just want to feel better and if this does the trick, then maybe that will be the impetus to continue with it. If the anxiety over eating milk and meat makes me miserable then I'm not feeling better and won't continue with it. I refuse to be dogmatic about it.

I make progress on Zach's socks last night. Nearly ready for the toe. I'm also plugging away at my dad's socks, although at a much slower pace. It's dark in my bedroom at night and the yarn, while teal blue, is still a bit hard to see and with tiny needles...well, not the easiest thing to do. But I adjusted the pattern a bit to make it plainer. My dad isn't a fancy guy with his clothes. The teal blue will probably be too much for him.

I'm not knitting as much as I would like, but when the weather turns and I've got the winterizing done and the kitchen where I want it and I'm settling into a cooking routine, then I plan on knitting more and spending time online less. I did give up the games on facebook but right now I'm doing some research on some other things and that's taking up a bit of time. Mostly tightwad stuff with some vegetarian cooking sites as well.

I still need to put plastic on the windows. I pulled up a few stakes out of the garden but most of them will have to have the twine cut off from the stalks first. Then the tobacco needs to be pulled up as well. And I have three curtains to find and wash and put on the windows. I'm pretty sure they're either in my closet or in the basement.

I didn't move around as much today but I did get the bird seed out in the feeders. I thought it would take them a while to find it, but apparently they were waiting in the bushes because by the time I got back into the house and looked out the window, the feeders were full of birds. They are my winter entertainment.

Well, time to start fixing the side dishes and a salad for myself. So far today I've barely eaten, just a bowl of oatmeal and I'm still not hungry. I won't let myself get too hungry though. The first day is always the easiest. by tomorrow I'll probably be eating everything in the house.

TTFN

I want off this merry-go-roller-coaster

2011-10-24T20:20:00.000-05:00

I paid dearly for my burst of energy and cleaning binge. Saturday I spent on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket waiting for my next pain pill and lecturing myself on moderation. Again. By Saturday night I was feeling better so I headed to the store because we were out of bread. Apparently the last loaf in the freezer got used without anyone mentioning it, or writing it on the blackboard. I was moving slowly, but I was moving so I wasn't going to complain about it.

Until I got in bed and laid there until nearly dawn waiting for sleep to come. My nocturnal-ness is messed up with my diurnal-ness and I'm sleeping until around 1 p.m. now. But I'm sleeping so I'm not going to complain. Okay, I'm complaining because it's not uninterrupted sleep. Between the dog needing to go out three times a night and Tom getting up and making noise in the kitchen and turning the tv on in the dining room, I'm not getting uninterrupted sleep. I can't tell the dog to hold it and I can't tell Tom not to get up in the mornings so I'll have to figure something else out.

I've not got a lot of knitting done. Or reading. I keep trying but my brain won't cooperate. Nor will my hands. I just get tired so easily. So...I'm going to try once again to change my eating and exercise habits and hope I can find some energy in there to work harder on getting healthy. I've got to stop being so self-destructive and start caring about myself.

I did work a bit on a necklace for my crystals. It's just a little lace pouch with an I-cord chain. Working on the I-cord now. Zach wants a bigger bag for his crystals so that's another project added to my lengthy list. I need to work on my dad's socks so they'll get to him before New Year's. Christmas would be nice but I'm not kidding myself.

And I have Bowser to get back to, the two sweaters and Zach's pair of socks. I'm just ready to turn the heel on the second sock so making progress there.

Plus I got out all my Tightwad Gazette books to motivate me to save more money and be more frugal. Not to mention the books on spirituality and my journals. And the library books. The book about the African vet looks really good but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Oh, and did I mention that depression sucks? Chronic pain really kicks in the clinical depression so it's hard to sort out your life when you're dealing with a neverending cycle.

The heck with it. Tom's pizza is in the oven on the timer. I'm going to bed.

TTFN

The curtains are up

2011-10-21T17:47:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy day today, starting at 9 a.m. when I got up. I didn't hit the floor running but I did a lot of straightening up before anyone else got up, hoping to have a cup of coffee and read a while before that happened but it didn't. I didn't want to read while Tom had the tv blaring so I watched some tv in the living room. I do this with the closed captioning on. Not ideal but it works. I was going to knit but I was a bit restless so I didn't. I was waiting for him to leave so I could tackle the living and dining rooms. They're so cluttered.

I had to move the bookcase out of the foyer because it's under the coat rack so I just stacked most of the books on the stairs to take up later this week. And put my overflow dvds in there. It's behind the tv, making a separation of sorts between the living and dining rooms. It will be hidden behind the curtains when I go to bed at night but that's not a big deal.

Then I took a nap because I couldn't keep my eyes open. Must have snoozed for an hour, which is not something I do a lot of. Then off to get the laundry out of the dryer. I had washed and dried the new curtains to soften them up a bit as they are exactly like the curtains I already had up, only a different color. The beige works much better than the red. The dining room looks much bigger now.

I've nearly got the clutter done away with in the dining room but I have two loads of laundry left to do and supper to fix. And vacuuming and putting away of said laundry. All that before I can sit down to knit. Or go to bed, whichever is the more important option when the time comes.

It was sunnier today so the house felt a bit warmer, but it was 55F this morning when I woke up. Tom had left the upstairs door open and he has his windows open up there. I've asked a few times for him to keep it shut because he smokes up there and it really nauseates me to smell it, but...well...for whatever reason, he chooses not to all the time. I did make a point of not wanting to heat the upstairs this winter so maybe the nickels and dimes will work where the consideration factor didn't.

But now it's time to fix supper and get another load out of the dryer and put up the curtains shutting off the foyer. I won't put curtains on the door just yet. It's not quite cold enough for that.

TTFN

Winterizing

2011-10-20T20:24:00.000-05:00

I had to drag myself out of bed at 12:30 p.m. this afternoon but I did manage to get the storm windows on. Although I broke the screen on one window trying to get it out. It can be fixed but I wish we could afford a new window.

I had to stay up and wait for Tom last night because his brother called to tell me to tell him that a good friend of his had died in Germany, where the friend had been living for the past...oh, 20 years or so. I hated to hit him with that when he got home. How do you ease into something like that? He's taking it okay but he said he always thought he would see J.C. again.

I bought a space heater for Zach's room this winter. His room is the coldest in the house, aside from the upstairs which is just a redone attic. And not very well done at that. There is one heating vent up there but it doesn't go into the bedroom so the room upstairs stays pretty cold. Tom has a oil-filled radiator that he uses to get the chill off the room before he goes to bed, but then he turns it off after he crawls under the covers.

It was around 55F in the house this morning when I got up but I'm not ready to turn the furnace on yet. I still have to put plastic on the windows and put the winter curtains on. I bought new curtains for the dining room because the ones I've got on there have foam backing and they're so stiff they don't straighten out enough to cover the window. Plus I got shorter ones so I don't have to pin them up to keep the heating vent open.

I've got to move the bookcase from the foyer so the coats will hang straight from the coat rack. I'll do that tomorrow and hopefully get some windows done. Baby steps. I just can't get it all done at once.

I also have to find my snakes to put in the windows to keep the condensation to a minimum.

But tonight I'm just going to make up the bed and crawl in it. I'll work on socks for a bit but I do need to get back to sweaters. And Bowser. And reading. And dyeing my singles so I can ply them. And scouring my Shetland fleece so I can card it and spin it. I have plenty to do so I hope I'm not on the road much this winter and can stay home and do it.

Off to make up the bed. Professor has been nagging me since we got back from the store. When it gets dark, he wants the bed made up because he gets to snuggle in my wolf blanket. I kind of like it myself.

TTFN

Twilight...no, not the movie or the books

2011-10-19T20:44:00.000-05:00

I've not been sleeping well the past two nights and have spent the past two days just dragging. I've gotten a bit of laundry done and tried to keep up with the kitchen but beyond that, not even any knitting. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something or if it's just the insomnia. I cycle in and out of twilight sleep, never getting into deep, REM sleep. So my sleep is light enough that every move from the pets or Tom or Zach is waking me up. I'm exhausted. I hope I sleep better tonight. I bought some cold meds because I don't think it's allergies right now. I think it's a cold.

I would like to be knitting but even that exhausts me so I've done a bit of reading, napping and laundry with some dishwashing mixed in there. I took a nap today because I had to make a library run as I had two books in. I still need to go to DMV and clear the title on the car but that might wait until next week. And sometime soon we need to find a newer car.

So I stayed offline until evening hoping I could use that energy to get other things done but it didn't work. I still plan on limiting time online though because it does cut into the time I want to spend doing other things. Like putting the storm windows on and plastic on the windows. And getting ready for winter.

In the meantime, I'm fixing Tom some pot pies and then I'm making up the bed and turning the light off. If I go to sleep before 9 p.m., I'm not going to complain. I just hope I can get 8 hours of sleep out of it. Eight hours of deep sleep, not this twilight stuff.

TTFN

Giving it up

2011-10-17T18:03:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning thinking it was afternoon and Tom had left for work, which put me in a panic as Zach and I had errands to run. Only to discover that a 1 was hidden on my clock, making it 11:28 instead of 1:28. And Tom had gone to put gas in the truck (which I had done yesterday but he didn't know that) so it wasn't as dire as I thought it was.

We ended up not running all the errands though because I forgot the paperwork to clear the title on the car. That's the third time I've forgotten everything. Instead we hit the library, which was a feat in itself as the parking lot entrance is being torn up so you have to walk all the way around to the front on a very narrow road to get in. They are providing roadside service for disabled patrons. As inconvenient as it was, I do love this library and the people there. I got all my books and then some and headed back to the car.

Next was the credit union so Zach could deposit his birthday money (yesterday was the big 23) and his loan money so he can send his payment off tomorrow. Then to the store where I bought a new phone because we're down to one that works and it's in the dining room where I trip over everything in the night when it rings. Or in the morning. I don't think it rings at all when I'm awake. I've been putting it off for ages but I decided to get it over with before they went up in price.

Mostly, though, we just got healthy foods. We're going to give up beef and switch to turkey, fish and chicken. And eat less of it all, focusing more on veg and grains. But I'm not going to diet because I always binge when I do that and end up gaining even more weight. Just like this past summer when I gained. I'm not sure how much because I refuse to get on the scale and put myself under that pressure, but we're going to focus on health and being able to be more active than how much we weight.

So we didn't make it to the library here in our bitty town so Zach can sign up to volunteer and we didn't make it to the DMV so we'll do that on Thursday so I've got a couple of days at home to work on winterizing and getting the garden ready for winter. And laundry. And cooking.

And hopefully I'll start putting pictures up on my blog again. I'm giving up my Sims game on facebook because it's sucking the life out of me. It slows the computer down to a crawl and takes up so much time. When the game gets to be a burden instead of a joy, it's time to quit. Plus there are so many books to read and so many projects to be done, including art, knitting and spinning. I really need to dye my singles and get my fleece ready to spin. And the enjoyment factor out of those projects are much more than playing a computer game.

But for now I've got supper to fix and a hot shower for my achy joints and muscles and then bed...early. With knitting and reading to follow.

TTFN

Mischief managed

2011-10-13T19:14:00.000-05:00

Finally got the right size toilet seat (and cushioned, which is what Zach pleaded for), installed it (Zach) and tested it. No I'm not saying who tested it. It's nice not to have to precariously perch on the toilet anymore though.

I bought a bin for more yarn as it's lying around the living room in bags and I'm stumbling over them. My corners are now full of bins of yarn. I...must...not...buy...anymore...yarn!

So I am working with what I've got and will avoid the yarn aisle...with deliberate vengence. I do have plenty to work on for the winter. I'm going to space the socks out so I've got them to work on throughout the winter. Except the pair that is for my dad. That one I'll need to finish up soon. I send a care package to my parents every year in lieu of Christmas presents and I try to pick out things they wouldn't buy for themselves, things that are consumable or wearable. They don't need more "stuff." I always send a restaurant gift card as they do enjoy eating out once in a while. Maybe a Walmart card so they can buy something they need or even groceries. People on fixed incomes sometimes do appreciate having that extra to buy something instead of giving them stuff that clutters up their homes and doesn't help them out any.

I'm turning the heel on the second sock (never put the second sock off or you'll never get it done) and am nearly ready to knit the armholes of Zach's sweater. I should work on my fair isle sweater tonight since I haven't done it for a while. I forget where I am if I leave it too long. I don't plan on starting anything new until something is done. I've still got too many projects lying about in various bags awaiting my knitting attention. Some I will have to frog because I have no idea where I am. Others I can figure it out but it will take a while. If I'm still interested enough to figure it out. The black cardigan, I'm pretty sure I'll work on figuring it out as I really want a black cardigan this year.

Zach and I split a meal at Wendy's today because that's all the money I had and it worked out perfectly. I did get my own soda but we cut the sandwich in half and split the fries. I'm going to carry a plastic knife with me from now on so we can do that in other places should we need to stop. But we're going to slow down on trips to town which will help us save money. I didn't make it to the library today because they were re-surfacing their parking lot (in the rain!) and the overflow parking lot was full. Not to mention pouring down rain. I'll have to make another trip.

Which I might do tomorrow as Tom and I are going out early to look at cars. It's nearly impossible to drive the car anymore and parking it has to be on flat surfaces as the parking brake won't hold anymore. I just hate having to make payments when we're just making it on what we've got now. Next month we will no longer have the truck payment so that's a relief. I don't expect we'll find the car first trip out but we'll keep looking until we do. I don't want to settle for something because we're desperate. But we can't wait long either.

Well, time to curl up in front of the tv and knit a spell. I'm hoping I get sleepy soon enough so I can get up sooner tomorrow.

TTFN

Brighter days

2011-10-12T19:37:00.000-05:00

Riding out the fatigue seems to be working. In tiny measures, but there is still improvement. I had to go to town today because the toilet seat broke last night and Tom couldn't fix it. I took measurements with me but none of the seats were exactly the same so I bought one that is only an inch too long. Width is exactly right though. But, with the amazing luck we have, one of the plastic bolts is stripped and won't come off. We've been working on it in shifts for a couple of hours and just can't get it off. I'll have to find the hacksaw tomorrow and cut it off, I guess. Unless Tom's manly muscles can budge it.

But I did get some things done today because I felt like it and not with that sense of working underwater that I usually feel. I haven't knitted yet, but I'm getting ready to go in there now. Supper was pizza and since that's done, I'm going to get ready for bed.

I was going to knit on Zach's sweater but I couldn't find the other knitting needle. I looked all over but it wasn't to be found so I worked on the second sock. I'm nearly to the heel flap on it. When I made up the couch today, there was the needle...under the mattress pad and foam sheet, in the center of the couch. Good that I didn't feel it. I guess I'm not a princess after all (re: Princess and the Pea.)

So, tonight will be spent working on Zach's sweater. Hopefully I'll get to work on his Bowser tomorrow. I'm woefully behind on it. It won't be done in time for his birthday. Neither will his sweater, but he's okay with that. I'll take him out to eat and let him buy a cheap game for his Wii.

Next week he's going to go to the library here in our bitty town and see about volunteering there. He's still putting applications in but no call backs or interviews at all. He's decided to go back to school in January and get a second degree in a field he can get a job in. Back to Moraine Park, with all it's faults, but at least he won't be starting from scratch. He has all his core subjects, his electives and many of the office skills needed for a degree in accounting so it won't take him all that long to get another degree. This time, all the subjects are in Beaver Dam so we won't have to drive in the snow to Fond du Lac. Plus he knows what to do about making connections this time that he didn't know when he was there before.

His student loan will almost be paid off by then so he can just extend it and hope to get a grant or scholarship in the spring.

I'm working on better organization here and hopefully I can find the closets and basement and get the clutter hidden so my environment is more conducive to being productive. Maybe I'll figure out how to earn money from home.

In the meantime, I'm just riding out the fatigue storm and waiting for the other end. Feeling brighter today made a huge difference in my emotional state though. Just hoping tomorrow is as bright as today was.

TTFN

Riding out the fatigue

2011-10-11T19:03:00.000-05:00

It didn't feel cooler today but we did have overcast skies and some rain just a short bit ago. The breeze felt so good while it was raining.

I'm nearly finished with one sock. I'm making this one narrower than the ones I used to knit because they tend to "grow" a bit and after wearing them for a couple of hours, the socks are too big for me. This pattern fits me snugly, which should also help them wear longer as they won't be slipping around inside my shoes. Well, I say pattern, but I really don't work off of one. Well, a standard sock pattern, very basic and just adjust it to my needs. But for some reason, I had trouble getting the length right. I'm on my fourth attempt on knitting the toes. I hope this one fits. I don't want them too short because my toenails will wear a hole very quickly.

I haven't knitted much today. Haven't done much of anything today. I'm trying to ride out the fatigue, just doing what I feel I can handle. But I will knit some more tonight before bedtime. Probably on the sock and Zach's sweater. Neither requires me to concentrate too much.

I pulled up about 8 tobacco plants but quit because of the bees. There is something grainy all over the plants. Might be seeds, but whatever it was, the bees loved it so I left them to it. I'll get more tomorrow. Besides, I need to leave room in the garbage bin for the rest of the trash. I'll never use these seeds again, but I am planning on planting the seeds from last year's crop. At least those turned out well. Still, I'm not planting much. Next year the garden will be for veg.

I'm fixing supper right now. I didn't realize how late it was. Sloppy Joes, mashed potatoes and corn. It's one of Tom's favorite meals and since I haven't cooked much lately, I thought I owed him. Plus I'm trying to clean the kitchen while I cook.

Well, off to work some more on cleaning the kitchen while I cook.

TTFN

Socks...at last!

2011-10-10T21:41:00.000-05:00

This might be one of the last summer days of the year although it will still be pleasant the rest of the week. It's time to start moving on winterizing the house. Maybe I'll start on that Friday, but the rest of the week will be catching up on cleaning. I started scrubbing the bathroom today and pulled up some of the tobacco and threw it away. I thought it was because the soil was depleted but the new area didn't grow any better so I think it was just the brand of tobacco. I talked to Tom and we're not going to grow any next year. I'm sticking to vegetables from now on.

Besides, he still has the tobacco from last year to process.

I'm knitting socks at long last. My heart and my hands are happy! I'm making them a bit shorter because I can get a pair out of each skein if I do that. And it occurred to me that I could knit leg warmers out of some of my spare acrylic so I could keep my lower legs warm without extending the cuff of the sock. I know in all circles except knitters, leg warmers get laughed at but in my own home, I'm going to wear them.

I'm still working on Zach's sweater, my fair isle sweater and Bowser but not on everything every single day. I'm alternating a bit so I don't get bored. Progress is a bit slower, but I'm a process knitter anyway so it's no big deal.

I didn't cook tonight because I didn't get the kitchen as cleaned up as I intended. But I made progress and have a can of beef stew for Tom's supper so he should be okay. I still struggle against the fatigue to the point when I know I should just ride it out. I just don't listen to my body enough.

But tonight I am going to bed and hopefully sleep very soon. I'm getting around 7 hours of sleep but it's not restful. I'm not sure how to make sleep more restful. Maybe I should just practice more. :)

TTFN

Gorgeous weather

2011-10-08T14:26:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe it's Autumn here but I'm not complaining in the least. The weather is absolutely beautiful and I'm going to get Zach to show me how to use the camera so I can start taking pictures. Except our trees still haven't turned yet. And there isn't much color around here aside from brown and yellow. But it's still beautiful.

I got the yarn to make Bowser today. Zach is very excited but the pattern isn't as clear as I would like so I might have to do some creative crocheting to get it right. He says the colors are wrong according to his games so I made changes in the yarn I'm going to use. Otherwise he loves the pattern. I ended up working on the fair isle sweater for a while last night since I woke up after an hour of sleep and was wide awake. This is what happens when I go to bed too early.

But aside from Professor barking at Rowdy running loose outside (the Rottweiler from two doors down) I slept well and got up at a reasonable time with a miniscule amount of energy. I managed to get a few things done and plan to do more later, but I'm not pushing it. I'm going to ride out the fatigue cycle and hope it doesn't take too long to find some energy again.

I do have to do a load of clothes today but I can limit myself to one load a day and still get it done without any problems. If the washer and dryer were on this floor I wouldn't have a problem but there are down steep basement steps with wobbly railings and my arthritic knees don't like it at all. Otherwise I would be hanging clothes outside, but carrying a load of wet clothes up those stairs is more than I can manage right now.

I do have dreams that by next spring I will weigh less and have more energy and stamina. And be able to get more done...including fun things.

I planted some grass for the pets for this winter in two little pots for now and it's coming up nicely, They don't get to use it yet because the grass is still green outdoors. I'll stagger the planting so I've always got grass available to them, especially Hannibal. He still has tummy problems although not as much and his coat is nice and shiny now and not nearly as skinny as he was. Still eating salmon and chicken with oats mixed in and thriving on it. It's actually cheaper than cat food.

I should get busy while I have the energy and ambition to get things done. I'm fixing chili for Tom's supper tonight. He gets home around 4:30 p.m. and is exhausted so I try to have supper ready for him. Then he goes to bed and wakes up around 10 p.m. and wants to eat again so chili will serve for both meals. I'll probably have a small bowl myself, later. I'm not eating as much lately. Don't know why, just not as hungry. I hope that lasts. I ended up throwing away some candy Tom brought downstairs. He didn't want it and offered it to me, but I threw it out because I'm trying to get my blood sugar under control.

Tomorrow will be a day of knitting and crocheting and catching up on dvr stuff so I won't be online much at all. In fact, I'm working at limiting my online time to an hour or so a day because I'm spending way too much time here. I might actually accomplish things if I stay offline.

Off to do laundry.

TTFN

Sleep might not be the answer

2011-10-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

I made sure I got 8 hours of sleep last night but I woke up just as tired and dragging as I usually do. So I don't know what the answer is except to just stop fighting it and do what I can when I can do it.

I ordered my sock yarn last night and got to the checkout and found out that Lion Brand has free shipping over $35 for the month of October. And as my order was well over that amount... I ended up getting Wool Ease after all because the wool yarn just cost too much. I know in the long run it would be a better investment but you have to have the money to invest in the long run and I didn't. But as these socks will last us a couple of winters, it will be okay. Maybe next time.

I haven't started on Bowser yet. I don't have all the yarn and I'm too distracted to figure out the pattern right now. Hopefully I'll be able to soon. In the meantime, I'm working on sweaters...mine and Zach's. I only knit a couple of rows on mine because I got sleepy, so I put it all up and fell asleep. But I woke up when Tom got home so it was around 4 a.m. before I got back to sleep.

I had a book in at the library so I went ahead and picked it up today but I was so proud of myself for not eating out. I did pick up some hamburger and am making burgers and fries tonight. Much cheaper. Then I'm making up the bed and heading there. I've been so sleepy all day today but I know as soon as I stretch out on the bed, my eyes will pop open and I'll be wide awake.

Well, supper is nearly ready so I'm off to finish it up.

TTFN

Same old, same old

2011-10-05T14:06:00.000-05:00

I'm still here...just still not doing anything. So I decided instead of posting what I'm not doing every day, I'll just wait until I do something to post. I decided to post anyway.

I did run errands today. Got Zach out of the house for a bit and made a library run. Nothing was due, but I was done with the books and I hate to keep them out when someone else could be reading them. Picked up some milk and a sympathy card for one of Tom's guys on his shift who lost a loved one. I have to tackle the kitchen because I got behind the past couple of days and the kitchen is a disaster. Actually, I just need to load the dishwasher and I'm up to speed.

I bought a new rug for the living room. The old one was so threadbare that the threads were being sucked up the vacuum and stopping it every time I tried to vacuum. I just laid the new one on top of the old one because I had no place to put it for one, and two, it gives me more cushion with two layers. But...the new one is more square than the old one so there are bits peeping out from under. Not enough to make me care though. I'm just thrilled to have a carpet that I can vacuum. It's a light blue so it's easier to move around at night, too. Dark green carpet hid all the obstacles that I tripped over every night.

It was one of those cheap rugs at StuffMart so I didn't spend a lot.

Still working mostly on Zach's sweater so I'll have it done before his birthday. I found a pattern for a stuffed toy that he loves and wants for his birthday. Not sure if I can finish it in time but I'll give it a go. It's Bowser, from all the Mario games. I have some of the colors already and can pick up the rest next time I go to the store. I've already got the fiberfill, too, so it won't be a huge expense.

I also need to order the wool for socks, too. And soon, before I need them and don't have them done. Zach wants a couple of pair, too. I'm thinking of ordering some sock yarn so I can make my dad some socks, too. I had made him a pair a couple of winters ago but my sister talked me into them for her fiancee (now husband). I'd like to get them done this winter...preferably before Christmas. My mom has several pairs so it's time I knitted my dad some.

Well, time to finish up the laundry I started yesterday and get the kitchen done.

TTFN

The end to a boring vacation

2011-10-02T20:34:00.000-05:00

Today ended up being the best day of my vacation, although it was the last day of it. I got good sleep last night, set the alarm so I could get early enough to spend time with Zach, who is shifting his circadian rhythms and presently it sleeping from about 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Then we went to McSnacky's for breakfast, shopped for a couple of hoodies for him for winter and came home. I wasn't bouncing off the walls, but I had energy to actually do stuff today. I'm planning on setting the alarm again tomorrow regardless of how much sleep I get because it occurred to me that my circadian rhythms might be off as well. I seem to do better when I get up early enough to enjoy the day instead of waking up at noon and feeling like the day is over already.

Tom got home today, too, safely. I always worry when he's out on the road like this because of idiot drivers who pay more attention to their cell phones than the road in front of them. Or those Sunday drinkers who never think they are over the limit. But he got home safe, albeit very tired from his vacation.

We sat down and made a list of requirements for the newer car which we plan on looking for sometime this week. I'm just too nervous to drive the car anymore than I have to. Of course, we must go into super-tightwad mode from now on. It won't be easy to get back on that train again, but get on it we must.

I completely frogged the frolicking deer hat because it was going to be too long. I never managed to get the gauge right. If it was sport yarn, I could do it but not with worsted, which is what the pattern called for. No way can that be right. I'll get the yarn for next year and knit him one then. Just can't swing it this year. I'm wondering if I might make it on 3 pair of winter socks this year instead of spending money on new yarn. Maybe I can pick up some yarn at the thrift store. I doubt it. Most of what they have there is Wintuk yarn from the 80s.

I am working on a sweater out of the deer hat yarn. Had to buy more but I loved the fair isle look so I'm working on a Red Heart pattern. Unfortunately this time my gauge is under so it's going to be a bit smaller. I'll just have to lose some weight before it's done. The length gauge is spot on though. I never manage to get both width and length gauge right. So I worked on it a bit and then worked on Zach's sweater a bit more. His is fairly easy with 4 row striping so I knit on that while watching something that requires me looking at the tv. The fair isle is for when I can just mostly listen to the tv.

I found a new show on BBCA called Bedlam and I love it. It's definitely a keeper. Also a show about the ER in King's Hospital in London. Another keeper. The latter one is a reality based show. I really needed to add two more shows to my lineup. Although I'm thinking of dropping Ghost Adventures. I'm just not as enthused about the boys this year. They're taking themselves too seriously as if they are experts in demonology (yes, everything is a demon these days) and I'm having trouble stomaching Zak this season. I'm also thinking of dropping the show that comes on after about a psychic and a detective. The first show wasn't bad but the second one was boring beyond belief. Life is too short to watch boring shows.

Well, time to make up the bed and knit while watching some more tv. I'm hoping to get to sleep by about midnight or so. I'm going to drink some tea before bed to see if that helps. Something hot might make me sleepy. I got more Earl Grey (decaf) today at the store.

Tomorrow I've got to pick up a prescription, hit the library and put some money into savings. I hope to do that before Tom leaves for work so I can take the truck. It would be so nice to be able to start the car up in park and get the key out without jiggling the gearshift.

TTFN

Feeling like a zombie today...again

2011-09-29T18:49:00.000-05:00

I forgot to blog yesterday. Which is just as good as I didn't have anything to say anyway. Sort of like today, in fact. I managed to get about 7 hours of sleep Tuesday night but last night it was around 5 a.m. before I drifted off and my mother called at 9:30 to tell me about my uncle's surgery outcome (which was good!) so another day of dragging around. I got a load of clothes washed and dried but it's still in the dryer. I'll get it tomorrow. I had to pick up meds today so I just grabbed a cheap bite out, picked up a pizza for Zach and would love to go to bed right now, but if I do I'll be wide awake at midnight and another night will be messed up. I think I'll start taking the herbal sleeping meds I got Tom. But tonight probably wouldn't be a good night to start that.

I got a few rows done on the frolicking deer hat. The key is just working on it during commercials. I can't watch tv and work this kind of pattern, but that's okay. I do need to get busy here and start getting things done. It doesn't help that Professor keeps wanting outside at 9 a.m. or so, no matter how late I take him out at night. Or rather in the morning. Yesterday he went out at 4 a.m. and woke me up even earlier today at 9. I had just managed to get back to sleep when my mother called.

I'll probably just work on baby blankets tonight since my concentration is at a zero right now. Mindless stockinette stitch will do just fine for me when I'm like this. I have been known to fall asleep while knitting before so it wouldn't make much difference if I fell asleep working on the baby blanket.

Well, off to make up the bed and yes, I know it's not even 7 p.m. I don't want to wake myself up later with the effort of making it up when I am ready to go to bed.

TTFN

Where is the sleep on my vacation?

2011-09-27T18:32:00.000-05:00

I'm not getting the sleep I had hoped for during this "vacation." Professor has been barking at about 9:30 every morning wanting out for his wee and since I've had trouble getting to sleep because of the pain, I'm only getting about 5 hours of sleep per night. I try to nap but I don't sleep well during the day. I'll catch a few minutes but never anything as long as an hour. I hope to go to sleep early tonight and sleep through. I'd love to have normal sleeping patterns but as long as I have pain that wakes me up or prevents me from sleeping, I'm likely to spend the rest of my life getting little sleep.

I'm nearly done with the back of Zach's sweater. I haven't had the energy to work on anything that required a lot of thinking so the frolicking deer hat has been sitting in the bag unattended all week. It may be all I can work on for a while, until I get some rest. I can barely keep my eyes open but every time I try to nap I wake up about 10 minutes later and can't get back to sleep.

I must say I'm enjoying the solitude a lot. I'm such an introvert anymore. Or maybe that's recluse. Zach is trying to adjust his circadian rhythms so he's been sleeping during the day which gives me a lot of quiet. I thought about going out today for lunch because I haven't done that in a while but it was cold out and I was so tired. I just stayed in. Fixing supper now. Zach can fix his later when he wakes up.

Hopefully I'll get some rest in soon because I have a lot of winterizing to do before it gets really cold. I'm wondering if we're going to have an early winter because it's a lot colder now than it has been lately. I never had to turn the furnace on before November 1st before but if this keeps up I'll have to turn it on during October. Not a good sign.

Well, off to finish up supper and then relax for a while before bedtime. I can't sleep for a few hours after I eat but I do intend to get to bed before 10 p.m. tonight.

TTFN

Laid back so far I'm nearly falling over

2011-09-26T15:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a pretty restful day. As restful as it can be with the house a mess. But I've had to re-knit most of what I knit yesterday due to being too tired and making huge mistakes that I didn't catch. I could go back to sleep now, to be honest.

So little by little I'm straightening up the house. I removed the chair from the living room because I can't squeeze through to get to the armoir or to turn the light off beside the couch. So the coffee table is back as a window seat and Professor is ecstatic as that's his catbird seat. It opens up the window area making the room brighter, too. Which it needs because the living room is the darkest room in the house.

We've had rain off and on for 3 days now. It's cloudy today with occasional bursts of sunlight out there. I think that's what is making me so sleepy. Or maybe it's just because I can...and should...sleep. And maybe get a load of clothes started. I can fold them tomorrow if I just wash and dry them today.

I had to frog back on the frolicking deer hat because the strands weren't long enough and were pulling in on the design. It's better now although in places it seems too loose, but once the hat is on the head, the strands will put taut and be perfect. I hope. I did make pretty good progress until I started making too many mistakes and had to tink back so I just put it up for the rest of the night. Maybe later tonight I'll knit on it some more.

I'm forcing myself to stay home because if I go to the store or even just go to town, I'll spend money and we've absolutely got to get back into tightwad mode...deluxe. I have plenty of food so I don't need anything. I might run out of milk but there is a convenience store a couple of blocks from here and the milk there is no more expensive than at StuffMart. Plus a brisk walk downhill to get there and uphill to get back will do us good.

I can't think of anything else going on except for throwing things at the tv while watching House Hunters International. I can't imagine thinking a 2200 sq yd vacation home would ever be too small. Not to mention those outrageous budgets some of these people have...without even having a job. Or when they move to another country without having investigated anything about that country. One couple had never been to Uruguay put sold everything and moved down there without a job or without having even seen the place. And they had to get an apartment RIGHT NOW. Although I admit their apartment was lovely after they moved into it and they were one of the few couples who refused to go over their budget.

Well, off to watch another episode I've dvr'd. I do love seeing how people live in other countries and there is a bit of a travelogue feel to the show as well.

TTFN

My time off

2011-09-24T20:46:00.000-05:00

This is the closest I get to a vacation, when Tom goes up north to his brother's cabin. I have one less person to take care of and clean up after. Some of the other changes will be not being woke up when he gets home at night or when he gets up in the morning. Not his fault...it's a tiny house...but I will enjoy it nonetheless. Two mornings in a row I got robo-calls way too early from the Republicans or Koch political groups waking me up. I wasn't going to vote for them anyway but if this keeps up I will start actively campaigning against them.

I had to rip back a couple of inches on Zach's sweater because after I finished up the armholes, the sweater reached his knees again. Or I might be exaggerating a bit. Still, it was pretty long so I took out 2 inches and it looks like it will be a better fit. Again, I'm thankful I'm a process knitter versus a project knitter. I found a pattern in my stash for some Halloween bags crocheted from cotton thread and since I have some black crochet thread, I thought that would be another project I could add to my endless bunch of works in progress. I also broke down and bought Interweave Crochet because it had a beautiful shawl pattern in it.

I plan on taking tomorrow off, doing next to nothing, not even cooking and knitting or crocheting to my heart's content. I need to spend much less time online and more time getting things done. But I'm not going to fill my day with endless projects just yet. I want to focus on getting back to tightwaddery and cooking from scratch so I can afford the car we intend to look for when Tom comes home.

He didn't work on it before he left for a number of reasons. One being that I was afraid he would make it worse than it already is. He was exhausted, having worked late last night. Didn't get home until nearly 3 a.m. So he slept in until nearly noon and needed to get on the road. Plus it was raining and that would have been no fun at all working on the car in the rain. We managed to get our shopping done today and have no need to go out at all the rest of the week.

The weather turned very cool today...mid 50s, which is very nice in spite of the rain. I was going to shut the basement windows tonight but I think I'll wait until tomorrow to do it. But do it I will before Tom gets home. We play musical windows in this house in the cooler months. If the weather is above 50 outside he wants them open. I maintain that it's too frelling cold so I shut them. I always win by putting plastic on them. I am woman, hear me roar!

Well, I'm ready to make up the bed, grab my knitting and watch tv until I fall asleep at the needles.

TTFN

Toxic sleeping

2011-09-23T19:06:00.000-05:00

I don't know what Professor ate last night but it was toxic...to me. I had to light my honeysuckle candle just so I could breathe. I took him outside several times thinking he might actually unload whatever it was from his intestines but he kept it all night. Dog farts are no fun at all.

I made progress on the sweater back. I'm nearly to the neckline and using skeins now instead of little balls of yarn. I ended up throwing out some of the yarn because I just couldn't untangle it after about 3 hours of work. I broke down and bought a new skein. I had wound them by hand for a center pull but none of the other skeins fell apart like that one did. Must be the gremlins that Carol talked about in my comments yesterday. Rat bastards!

My mother called this morning and we chatted for a while. They went to dinner theater last night with some people from their church. Remember my Dad is 80 now. I think they're more active now than they were when we were in high school. I'm so glad they're having fun. Although I have to admit that my dad out on the roads driving makes me a bit nervous. I've not driven with him for about 10 years and I'm a terrible passenger, but I can't imagine someone driving, especially at night, at that age. Still, I know how I would feel being dependent on someone else for transportation. I dread the time when I can't drive myself around. I'm sure I would feel like a burden on whoever I had to ask.

Then I got up and paid bills while I had the truck. Tom is going to fix the car before he leaves tomorrow, hopefully, but I stocked up just in case he doesn't get it done. I've got a convenience store 3 blocks away if I need milk and I can make my own bread but I have everything else I need. Unless I need a prescription or a library book comes in..or is due back. Still, I think we can manage. Worse case scenario, I can call the pharmacy and have them deliver and can call the library and explain my situation and they will do an emergency renewal. But I don't think any of the books I have due next week are in demand. I should be good to go. In fact, it would be nice if I couldn't go anywhere for a week. Staying home would be a dream.

I've got to fix supper...nothing fancy, just Hamburger Helper because I'm tired and lazy and really just want to go to bed. I didn't get much sleep last night...as usual. HH is something quick and easy and requires little attention. Then I'm going to work on the sweater. I dug out my old projects and found two I'd like to continue working on and 3 that I plan on frogging. One is an afghan and the other is that cardigan I started last winter. The other three are shawls, a sweater coat and an afghan that I'm just no longer interested in.

Next week I plan on finishing up the frolicking deer hat and might start a frolicking deer scarf to go with it. That should be fun at the hunting camp.

Next week we also plan on addressing our eating problems. Zach's appetite is so much less now that he's getting 8 hours of sleep. I would love to get that much regularly. I think my eating might ease off if I wasn't so very tired all the time. Plus the doctor told me that people who don't get 8 hours regularly end up with a huge stomach because of cortisol, the stress hormone. And that's where both Zach and I are. At least I won't have Tom coming in and waking me up at night or in the morning next week. He doesn't do it on purpose but he is just one of those people who doesn't know how to whisper or how to do things quietly. He says he tries but...well, that's just the way it is. Some day I will have my own room with a door that locks so he can't come in and play with the dog or cat on the bed while I'm trying to sleep.

So I'm off to cook. I have tons of dvr stuff to watch and much to knit.

TTFN

The end of summer

2011-09-22T17:07:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Bilbo and Frodo...and me! Last day of summer, too. Although it looks like that dog has already run unless we get an Indian Summer before the snow flies.

I spent most of the day either online or trying to unravel a massive tangle of yarn. I'm ready to move to the skeins of yarn but the dark green has commingled with other dark green yarn and made babies. This is why we need free birth control out there! I still have hours to go before I manage this. I have no idea why none of the light green yarn tangled at all...maybe it's already on birth control...or practices abstinence. Who knows?

So my plans for knitting my birthday away have gone awry. Darn it! Still, I must persevere because the sweater needs to be knitted and I'm not buying more yarn to do it. So tonight while watching all my dvr'd programs I'll be unraveling yarn. Joy.

Zach and I are getting ready to go to the store. He has to go with me because he can shove the gearshift into park and I can't. And since it's my birthday and I don't feel like cooking or anything else for that matter, I'll bring something home for supper.

Tom bought me a nice little fountain that is very soothing and small enough to fit on a little table-top. I've got it next to my altar and will make a nice addition to Mabon ritual...or whatever I decide to do with the Autumnal Equinox.

Tomorrow I need to run errands and I can't wait for Zach to get up so I'll have to get up early, steal the truck and get them done before Tom goes to work. Zach is working on shifting his circadian rhythms so he can sleep at night. For at least the past 10 years he's gotten only around 5-6 hours of sleep because he has trouble getting to sleep, even with sleep aids. He has delayed sleep phase so we read that the best way to fix the problem is, instead of trying to go to bed early at night, go to bed later and later until you are on target for normal sleep. It's taken him a week to get to the point where he's going to bed at 9 a.m. and sleeping, finally, for 8 hours. I figure it will be another 2-3 weeks before he's got a normal sleeping pattern going. In the meantime he's sleeping during the day.

Well, heading out to pick up some stuff at the store and then home to untangle while watching Tangled.

TTFN

Happy Birthday, Daddy

2011-09-21T16:59:00.000-05:00

Last night Zach and I went ahead and celebrated my birthday because we just didn't feel like waiting. Normally we go to Appleby's but in the long run we always come away from there unsatisfied. It's expensive and the food doesn't equate to the expense. So I suggested Pizza Hut because I love their salad bar and we could split a pizza for a lot less than we would spend, even on the cheapest stuff at the big A. So we each got a one-trip salad bar and split a large pizza. Next time we'll opt for a medium pizza, although the difference is only $1, I think.

The food was great but for some reason the hostess crammed all the guests into a small area so we were next to each other while the dining room was largely empty. We were next to the kitchen as well and with the music playing it was hard to talk without being loud. And our conversations are generally not suitable for public consumption, especially in light of the family in the next booth talking about Bible study. We normally talk about spiritual things or gay rights or liberal stuff. Not wanting to attract attention, we talked about boring stuff but it was so hard to hear each other that it was a bit of a dampener on the evening. Still, the price was right for celebrations so from now on we'll give Appleby's a pass.

Although the server was less than satisfactory. We ended up being served by the hostess because we didn't see our server again until the bill needed to be paid. We started out with no plates and no silverware. Zach went up to the counter to ask for those. That's how we ended up with the hostess taking very good care of us. I normally tip 20% but in light of the lack of a server, I only tipped 15%. I would have tipped less if I knew for sure only the original server was going to get the money. In the end we had a different waitress who took care of the check.

I'm making progress on Zach's sweater. The stripes are much narrower because of the little balls of yarn I ended up with and while it's a bit tedious, I feel good knowing the yarn isn't going to waste. Which is an attitude I have to start taking. Tom is going up north next week, which will cost money, and with us having to buy a newer car next month, it's time to get back into super-duper tightwad mode. I have plenty of yarn to keep me occupied for the winter aside from wool for socks. I'm going to go ahead and get enough wool for 3 pair, which should keep me going all winter if I wash them out at least every third day. That gives me about 5 pair altogether. I'm no longer going to use Woolease because they only last a year before needing darning and two years before they are mostly darned socks. My wool socks are in their 3rd year without a single hole.

But they have to be washed by hand, which isn't really a problem but it does require effort. Which I need to start taking in super-duper tightwad mode.

I also need to get my singles dyed and get busy on scouring and carding my fleece so I can spin it this winter. Not sure if I will dye the Shetland wool. I like earth tones but it depends what it looks like after washing. If it's too gray I'll probably look for some brown dye. I'm practicing on kool-aid now but I plan on studying up on it so I can start doing more of this. It takes longer to spin on my kick spindle but I'm a process spinner as well as a process knitter so it's all about the experience. Plus I end up with wool and not acrylic. This is really the only way I can afford nicer wool yarn.

It's a lovely fall day today, even though fall doesn't get here until Friday. The temps are in the 60s with a lovely breeze and overcast skies. Really is my time of year.

I called my dad today to wish him a Happy Birthday. His birthday is the day before mine so I never forget it. He turned 80 today and still sounds good. He spent the morning with his high school alumni group. They get together once a month for lunch and have a good time.

Well, time to go hit the couch for more knitting. I'm just taking it easy today since I got very little sleep again. It took a while for the pain pills to kick in and for me to find a position that didn't hurt and when I did fall asleep Hannibal jumped up on the bed, landed on my bare leg and slid his claws in order to keep from falling off the bed. Woke me right up. He took off pretty quick when I woke up yelling. Later, after finally getting to sleep again, Professor went ape-shit over something outside and started barking hysterically, which woke up Tank, next door...the ROTTWEILLER who looks at Professor as if he were food. Tom was told that he's a gentle giant and will sit if you tell him to. All I know is he barks loudly and the cat is terrified of him and Professor thinks he can take him on.

He started barking frantically again this morning, waking up Tank again. I think it was a squirrel or something. I will be glad when the windows are all closed at night so he doesn't hear a chipmunk two blocks away. So, because I didn't get much sleep last night, I'm doing very little today. Stockinette stitch is pretty easy to work on and leaves few opportunities for mistakes so I'm working on Zach's sweater mostly to the exclusion of all else. I'll work on Tom's hat when he goes on vacation next week.

I should think of something for supper but I'm not really feeling like cooking. However, I do feel like eating so I should think of something soon.

TTFN

Getting in the mood for winter

2011-09-19T16:46:00.000-05:00

I took the day off yesterday. From the internet. Unfortunately that means more time catching up today so I didn't really save any time. I still need to cut back on what I read so that will be a work in progress over the next week.

I got up very late this morning due to some very good sleep last night. Not lagging at all today, but not bouncing off the walls either. I'm doing some minor winterizing today, laundry, cleaning and later on...tons of knitting and stuff. I moved the coffee table down to the basement because it blocks the heater vent. Besides...it's only there so Professor can look out the window. I put the plastic lawn chair in its place so I have an extra seat in here. For some reason, when Tom comes in to watch tv he doesn't sit on the couch. Instead, he sits on the ottoman. So now he has a chair. I sat in it after I put an afghan on the seat and it's pretty comfortable. For a short period of time. Wouldn't want to lounge in it all day. It's lightweight so I can move it out of the way to get to my dresser drawers. A real living room chair would be too big and too heavy.

I re-started Zach's sweater by using a very old leaflet I've got with instructions on different sweater patterns in different yarn weights. I don't know why I keep trying to re-invent the wheel. That leaflet has produced a lot of sweaters in this house. I'm making the stripes smaller because I'm re-using yarn that worked in 2-inch stripes but won't work that way in this sweater. So...its' easier to just do 4 row repeats. I can get two stripes per ball of yarn. I have plenty and could probably just start over but I hate to have all that bits of yarn hanging around getting tangled up.

The frolicking deer hat is coming along nicely. But I just found out that Tom will be gone all next week so I'm going to save it back to knit while he's gone. He's going up north to spend time with his brother at his cabin so I'll have the house to myself to get ready for winter. I have another sweater in the closet that I started about a year ago. I've got the back done on it and most of one front (cardigan) so I think instead of frogging it, I'll finish it up, too. I'd love to have a black cardigan. I also picked up some afghan hooks (tunisian crochet hooks) at StuffMart yesterday. The only one I've ever had was a size H which makes a very dense fabric when using worsted weight. I picked up one that is size I and one that is size K. Those should work nicely. I'd never seen any at the store before this so I grabbed them up before they disappeared again.

I'm in a mood to tackle closets next week while Tom is gone. I can't see the bottom of my closet and I've got most of Zach's hanging up clothes in mine so I need to tackle his as well. And then I'll get busy bringing the winter clothes out. I hang them out on the line because they only smell musty...they're not dirty. Then I'll tackle the windows and put plastic on them. I have enough windows that don't need plastic that I can do the older ones early. But first I need to removed the air conditioners from two of the windows.

I opened up some windows today because it was a bit warmer but by the weekend it will be back into the 60s during the day and 40s during the night. Won't get Tom's tobacco picked next weekend because he won't be around to string it up. Hope it doesn't get damaged by the cold at night. I don't think it will but it hasn't been a great crop this summer anyway. Not much of it is green. I think the soil is depleted. Next year we'll use a different part of the garden for it.

Off to finish up the laundry, start supper and finish vacuuming before I clean the kitchen and sit down to knit the rest of the night.

TTFN

Maybe it's not the sleep, stupid

2011-09-16T18:02:00.000-05:00

You would think after 12.5 hours of sleep last night I would have energy to spare today, but I don't. I did get the kitchen cleaned up and the beans on to soak for supper tonight. But I really don't have the energy to actually cook them now. I must, of course, but that will be the last I have for the night. I think the problem is the cold I've got coming on. Or sinus thingy. Or whatever it is. My head feels stuffed up...nose, too. No headache today but I'm starting to cough.

Zach and I were going to pick tobacco tomorrow so Tom could get it on hangars to dry but I think we'll wait until next weekend. I really just want to sleep for the next 3 days. I'd better start taking echinacea, too. And vitamin C.

So I'll get the beans on, maybe make up some corn bread and then just go to bed. I'm not even hungry.

Oh, crap. I've got to finish up the laundry or at least get the wet clothes into the dryer. Tom's uniforms never came back from the company that takes care of them so I've been washing the same two uniforms for a few days, alternating, of course. So he needs a clean set for tomorrow. And he leaves too early for me to wait to get them out of the dryer tomorrow morning. Crap.

I didn't get a stitch knitted last night. The minute I crawled into bed my eyes drooped so I just turned the light out, put the tv on timer and closed my eyes. I barely heard Tom come in and only woke up twice to go to the bathroom and went right back to sleep. I may do that again tonight. As soon as the laundry is done.

OK..clothes are in the laundry and the beans are cooking on the stove. I got the wrong kind of beans; they had Cajun seasoning in the front in both sections. The ham seasoning is in the back...way behind them. We'll see if Tom likes Cajun seasoning. I'll be fast asleep so I won't know until tomorrow.

The sneezing has started up again and my head feels overfull now so I'm going to go lie down while the clothes dry and the beans cook. No cornbread tonight. I'll thaw out some dinner rolls from the freezer so he'll have bread to go with it.

TTFN

It's the sleep, stupid

2011-09-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

Another day of nothing done but this time it wasn't the internet, it was the cold, or sinus infection or whatever it is. Just beginning but I felt achy and my head hurt most of the day, but most of it was because I got to sleep very late and was woken up after only a few hours of sleep. I'm feeling a bit better now and plan on doing some straightening up of the living and dining room. Pot pies for supper since I don't feel like cooking. I figure after I get some mild cleaning done, I'm going to bed.

I do hope to get some knitting done tonight now that my head is a bit clearer. As long as it stays clear. I fell asleep watching Knitting Daily just a while ago. Good thing it was a rerun. Maybe tomorrow will be better if I manage to get to sleep early and actually get to stay asleep. Still have a problem with certain family members coming into my room while I'm sleeping and playing and talking to the pets.

Still very cool weather. I wore sweats today and was quite comfortable. Windows were closed except the one over the sink. I'm too short to close it. It might warm up a bit later this week so I don't have the fans put away yet, just out of the windows. I got the right weatherstripping for the front door this time so I'll work on that next week. I noticed the back door needs the bottom weather stripping replaced, too. Huge chunks out of it. Each year I manage to do better with winterizing so I hope this year to raise the heat to 62 during the day and 52 at night. I'm very comfortable with 50 at night but when you lower the temps more than 10 degrees you lose what you've gained monetarily because the furnace takes too much energy to heat the house back up. I absolutely won't go higher than 55 at night though. I love sleeping cool and so does everyone else in the family.

Most of the tomatoes need to come in and I'll have more peppers soon. I need to chop up what I've brought in and do something with them. I'll freeze the peppers and maybe make spaghetti sauce our of some of the peppers and all the tomatoes. The tobacco looks awful. Too light by far. I think the soil was too depleted from last year's crop but I didn't have the other garden ready for it. Still don't. As soon as Zach manages to work out his sleep problems (he's working on a plan for delayed sleep phase) I'll send him out to finish chopping it up. He lost all his progress today when that same family member woke him up after he'd been asleep only a couple of hours and he couldn't get back to sleep again.

Well, my supper is done in the toaster oven so I'm off to eat, then make up the bed and try to get some knitting done and an early night...I hope. Someday I hope my entries will actually contain something of significance instead of writing about how much I didn't get done.

TTFN

Bad day blues

2011-09-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

I had a strange day today. I got up and hit the floor running because I needed to get to the library before Tom went to work and this being the day he has to go in early, I felt rushed for time. Got home in plenty of time but got nothing done after that. I'm spending entirely too much time online. Sims Social has grabbed me and I must resist its evil clutches. Plus it is slowing my computer big time.

It wasn't just that. I was reconnecting with some friends I hadn't seen in ages. Still...I got nothing done.

Of course, I don't think I would have anyway because the sinus headache that premieres ahead of the sinus infection has arrived. Time to get the neti pot out for real. I was Headachy, Sneezy, Dopey and Smart Ass all day today. And the headache has returned but I can't get to bed yet because I forgot Tom wanted me to wash his uniform since his supply wasn't in his locker yesterday. So...I'm waiting for one load to dry so I can stick them in. They can dry overnight while I sleep though. I'll get them out of the dryer tomorrow.

I have got to be more determined and stay off this seductress during the day, at least. And limit my time to no more than an hour. That will mean giving up a lot of things online but I'm just not happy with myself for spending so much time here. And it's not just the housework not getting done. I'm not doing things I enjoy anymore. It's become a burden instead of a tool.

I'll still blog and read other blogs, but the political readings have to be cut down to one site. And I may have to give up a group I just was made part of...the one with all the old friends on it. It really is good to see these ladies but they are chatty and it fills my mail box up rapidly. I just can't seem to keep up.

In the meantime, I'm going to go make my bed and wait for the laundry while watching House Hunters International. I ate supper way too late so my stomach is upset and it will be at least 5 hours before I can lie down again. Seriously. When will I learn that I can't eat this late?

Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a better mood, but if I don't get to sleep before sunrise, I'm thinking not.

TTFN

The Outer Limits was not a comedy

2011-09-13T17:30:00.000-05:00

Today is laundry day and I'm going to get it all done in one day so tomorrow I can do something else. I also got my winter clothes out of the basement because the temps are dropping here. although I'm sure we're not done with the heat yet. I just need those transition clothes.

I've got most of the windows shut because of our wonderful breezes we get living on the side of the hill and will keep them open tonight but it's going to drop into the high 40s again so I'm putting a blanket on the bed. The pets love it when I do that because they love my blanket. Professor flips on his back and waggles back and forth, scratching his back on it. Then he turns over and rubs his face all over it. Hannibal is much more dignified and just lies on it.

I also got my pajamas out. I'll be cozy tonight. And it will be quieter without the fans. I'm so used to the noise I don't know if I can sleep without it. But the electric bill will be nicer for it.

Zach is working on his sleep problems. He was diagnosed as a newborn with delayed sleep phase and I ran into it online a few days ago and sent him the link. It has to do with the circadian patterns being off so he's doing what the article says to do. Instead of trying to get to sleep sooner and wake up sooner, which has never worked for him. You go forward. He will go to sleep an hour later and get up an hour later until he's got the right circadian rhythm going. For a while he'll be sleeping days but within a month he should be back on track. I hope so.

Now if I could just figure mine out. It's not the same kind of insomnia he has.

I did get up a bit earlier today because I didn't want to sleep all day. I haven't been brimming with energy but less depressed today and I have gotten more done. I just don't want to overdo it and end up sleeping all day tomorrow. The trash trucks will probably wake me up around 8 tomorrow since I don't have the fans to muffle the noise. And that's good because I have a library book in that I need to pick up and can only do that before Tom goes to work.

Tom came home from work early last night, not feeling well. He had to take a half a vacation day as he doesn't get sick days there. He's been working 70 hour weeks, 6 days a week for nearly 3 years with only a few days off at a time. I think he was just exhausted. But he came in and watched The Outer Limits with me while he ate his supper. I have the series on dvr because I found it on an obscure channel and thought it would be fun. The night before last the episode starred William Shatner and although it wasn't a comedy, I laughed all the way through it. His acting really has improved since then. So James Doohan was in the episode we watched last night and we laughed through the whole episode. The acting was okay and it was weird to see "Scotty" without his brogue, but the plot was hilarious. Unintentionally. Not to mention the special effects. I know that for its time (early 1960s) it was really good, but in light of modern effects, it was hysterical.. Especially the episode with William Shatner and the silver cigar-shaped space ship that didn't just start descending, but flipped sideways and went straight down. And the monster made of pipe cleaners and felt. All in all a good time was had by all.

So I didn't get any knitting done aside from a couple of rows on the blue and white baby blanket. I'm using that when I can't concentrate except I couldn't concentrate on even that last night. I really want to get back to the frolicking deer (or as some call it...fornicating deer) hat because it's so much fun, even though I'm on the chaste deer right now.

Well, off to fix supper and sort through my winter clothes. I don't have room for all of them right now so I'm going to get out only what I need for now.

TTFN

Another wasted day

2011-09-12T18:19:00.000-05:00

I had high hopes for today but as I watched the sun rise before I finally got to sleep, I decided to just take a rain check on those high hopes. Next time I have sleep I'll tackle the things I want to accomplish. I've been mostly vegging out today because my mind is dull and my body doesn't want to move. Supper is over so I'm going to make up the bed and relax the rest of the night. Probably won't knit on the frolicking deer hat because I'll make too many mistakes and I really don't want to frog anything more.

I ended up frogging the Invisibility Shawl last night because I was tired, made a mistake and while trying to fix it ended up dropping a stitch down to the beginning. So when I tried to unravel the whole thing, the yarn broke so I just threw the knitted portion away. Cheap yarn from the thrift store. From now on, when I want to knit lace weight, I'll buy wool. Acrylic lace weight isn't fun to work with.

It's been nice and breezy today even though the temps were in the mid 80s. Inside it felt so good I didn't even have a fan on. And of course, that means I need to start working on winterizing soon. I have to replace the weatherstripping on both doors and re-glaze a couple of windows.

I miss not having a car to drive. I have a book in at the library and I hate having to rush to the store and such in the morning so I can get home before Tom goes to work. He said it would take a while to fix the car but spent the whole of Sunday fixing the toaster. sigh I guess we have different priorities.

So I think I'm going to bed now and will probably end up sleeping long before I should which will make me wake up when Tom gets home and I'll be up the rest of the night. I really hate insomnia.

TTFN

Do nothing days are important, too

2011-09-10T21:08:00.000-05:00

Aside from cooking supper and some more weeding, I didn't do anything today. Tom really wants to buy a car before the month is out but Sunday is the only day he's really home and I don't want to look tomorrow. I'd like for him to fix my car so it's drivable since he wants to go up north before the month is out. He has to use up his vacation days before he loses them and his brother needs some work done up at his place. I told him he can't go until I have a working car though.

I've been reading a lot this week. I just don't do that enough. I read a book on legends and ghost stories and am still reading the last Harry Potter book. I also have some books on various spiritual themes that I would like to get to. Those require a bit more concentration though.

I really wanted to knit on the frolicking deer hat but I can't risk Tom walking downstairs so I'm going to work on the Invisibility Shawl from Charmed Knits...a book of patterns based on the Harry Potter books and movies. This isn't mine but it's supposed to look like that when I'm done. Maybe. It's lightweight and doesn't require tons of concentration, although with laceweight yarn I need to watch what I'm doing so whatever I "watch" on tv will mostly be listened to.

I'm psyching myself up for next week to be a week of productivity in many areas including improving my health and my crafts. I've been itching to get my pencils out again and even my watercolors. I'd like to work with them before I get out my acrylics or oils. I'm not any good at any of them yet but I'll never be good if I don't practice and stick with it.

Well, supper smells done so I'm outta here, and heading to bed as soon as I'm done eating.

TTFN

Why yes I will sleep for a week thank you.

2011-09-09T20:03:00.002-05:00

It wasn't a great day, not having had much sleep again. At 4 a.m. Professor jumped on my chest and gave me a facial to let me know he needed to go poo, so I got up with him and went outside as well because I didn't want him barking and waking up the neighbors. He ended his business and went to the corner of the house and peeked around it only to hear the ROTTWEILLER barking from the window. Yards separate the houses so it sounded pretty close. Scared me and poor Professor hightailed it back to the door in nothing flat.

I ended up just giving up at 6:30 a.m., watched the rest of The Towering Inferno and then got up, made up the couch and went to the store. Had breakfast at McSnacky's because it's cheap but it sat on my stomach like a rock all day. I decided after shopping that I wasn't going to do anything today but got involved in a conversation with oldest son on facebook. I decided to be strong and let him know my boundaries only to be told that he won't respect them because "that's who I am." He prides himself on "cutting through the bullshit." In other words, he thinks he's a great person for telling people what's wrong with them. As if he is some kind of sage who knows people better than they know themselves.

Of course he let me know what my problem was and how I should fix it. Apparently I'm a pathetic person only he can fix. And no conversation is complete without him trying to denigrate his brother to me because it's obvious that oldest son loves me better and is willing to tell me the hard truths because he loves me while younger son worships the ground I walk on and is a sycophant. And apparently I always blame others for my mistakes and need to own up or he's not going to talk to me anymore.

Then, because I wouldn't acknowledge his almighty wisdom and insisted on my boundaries, he got pissed, threw birth daddy in my face as being the better parent and told me he was through with me and signed off. This after offering up an ultimatum that if I ever ended a conversation with him, we were through. Double standard.

I am so tired of this game. Calvinball has fewer rules. Easier to understand Calvinball, too.

Why do family relationships have to be so toxic?

So tonight I am not going to fret about it at all because as much as I love firstborn, it's not his place to try to fix me, control me or manipulate me. Nor do I need to "grow up" because I won't drop everything and do what he tells me to do with my life. Nor is it necessary for me to accept his criticism of me (he calls it input) when he obviously doesn't even know who I am.

Which, of course, is my fault. Since everything is my fault.

I am going to knit. Just as soon as I finish fixing supper, which got delayed because of the pounding on the keyboard. I'm going to work on something I can fall asleep over because I've only been getting a few hours of sleep each night for the past 3 nights.

And tomorrow I'm going to finish weeding the yard. I did go out with Professor when he had to wee because I didn't want to set off the ROTTWEILLER again. While out there I pulled weeds and got the front flower garden decent looking again. Of course it didn't help going out there since every time he went out the ROTTWEILLER barked at him. And of course he thinks he has to have the last word. What is it with that Y chromosome?

Well, time to finish up supper, and crawl into bed. I'll probably be wide awake by then. I do have plans for tomorrow if I can get some sleep today.

ADDENDUM: Things got resolved with firstborn after much frustration and angst on both parts and we've agreed to start fresh. I acknowledged my failings in the relationship and he acknowledged his. It's a start.

TTFN